One day, while on a errand for Twilight, Spike finds a glove and gun that when active give him electric powers! Join Spike as he beats up enemies, runs ponyvile (with help of course) and helps those in need. All done at the speed of lightning!
This is a partial cross over with The Azure striker Gunvolt.
Has a few concepts from the webcomic: THE GAMER
Website where you can find the webcomic The Gamer:
-MangaPark: http://mangapark.me/manga/the-gamer-sung-san-young
-The original website where the comic can be found is in a different language. I recommend going to either the link for MangaPark or get the app Webtoon.
Thanks to Azure Drache for the all the help in this chapter as well as the edit ideas on my other story.
All my little pony caac cters owned by Hasbro.
Story may include mild gore and will(sometimes) mention death.
An interesting start if nothing else. Can't wait to see more.
7444488
I just hope i do good if my other story is an example of my writing style
The Azure striker Gunvolt? That sounds familiar... Care to tell me more about it?
7444723
the azure striker gunvolt is a game made by the creator of megaman. Gunvolt uses lightning to fight his enemies. Its going to get a sequel. Its better than mightybnumber nine.
AzureDrake?
"Remember my name is Dreamy" - BlazeX
But regardless, I can't wait to see where this goes.
Still liking this so far.
7455151
Full name: Dreamy Blaze
Nickname (s): BlazeX, Frost Blaze, Wild Blaze, Captain
So far I like this I do hope Spike calls Twilight out, and I wish he gives her a good shocking.
7462004
i wont Give spoilers
7462281
unless you are Azure Drache
7462281 I have to ask though is Spike gets struck by lighting does it effect him or not? I ask this mostly because I want him to give Dash I good shocking.
7462321
pasiense friend pasiense... i did a blog with all of spike's skills. Soon it shall be added to the story.
7462329 OK I read that and am surpised that it doesn't recharge his energy. Can't wait to see what dragon he turnsout to be and for him to shock 4 hipocritcal ponies.
7462373
i have updated the blog.
also please leave a message saying that the Skill 'The Power of the earth dragon' has a mistake. I put royal dragon instead of hunter dragon.
7462396 Hey does the gune grow with Spike if he becomes a gaint, it's basically godzillia with a gaint gun I don't know if that's awesome or just over kill.
7462486
it would.... if the gun had the technology for it. At the moment the gun is not equiped with enough power to be usable if spike grows with greed. But growing is not necessary for dragons... (wink wink)
Where can I find Azure Drache?
7514648
Actualy i dont remember where i ran into him. All i can remember is that he posted a blog saying he wanted to help writers.
well, it might not be so bad if he just says that he got lost trying to escape the manticore... but then again, she might nag him for leading it to ponyville, and then give him double duties while talking to him (aka herself) or any of her friends that showed up about what just happened
7514932
Yup. Exactly what will happen. You know what makes it worse? She thinks all of that is helpful! Although parts are helpful, the double duties isn't. Just be glad the next character to appear, that has a big role, is more help than hinder.
I don't get it isn't it imposssible for the glove to be removed so Spike should be able to tell them about it. Also who are they to take away his magic they all have magic of their own it's only fair.
7516224
Because its dangerous, especially if spike tries to play hero with it. Also the omnitrix from ben ten should of have been unremovable yet some aliens know how to remove it so Twilight will find a way to take it off.
Plus, the main six dont know spike is an adventurer.
7516808 SO the whole they know better excuse, what a bunch of pricks. It's not like they where given magical items of unbelievable power without knowing any knowledge on how to use them, o wait.
Also I feel with Twilight's magic works if she even tried she'd fire half of Ponyvil in the processes. Also am thinking of the times that the watch was removed it was removed by it's creator and Vilagax back when he was super badass.
7517170
Twilight has access to more than just magic you know.
Also, the reason they would take the glove away is because they personaly know the dangers of being a hero... even though Twilight takes things easy when it comes to live.
7517337 So a case of the over-protective parent/sibling doing the whole i don't want you to make your own mistakes and learn from mine thing and cases of Twilight's ignorance/selfishness. If you can't tell am really want Twilight and the other to get telled off, punished and/or ass kicked.
Do you think Celestia would above of the gun-glove or try the same thing Twilight would do?
7514648 here^^
7514648
7514736
There is a group : Helping Hooves to help people around Fimfiction. If you have questions or looking for help , thats the place to go.^^
From there you had picked me Blaze ;-)
7517780
celestia would worry to the point of trying to remove it but if Spike's plays his cards right might stop her from taking it away. That and Celestia is more understanding.
Could you please stop spelling me wrong xD -->Authors comment of the second chaper
7524644 sorry. i always thnk of he word drake when i think of your name.
I love it but Scorpions are not poisonous. They are venomous poison has to be ingested(eaten) while venom is injected.
But keep up the great work mate.
Demur Signing off
P.s The smaller the scorpion the more venomous it is.
7527480 didnt know that but im not changing it because it would be to hard. Plus this is fiction just because a manticore has a scorpion's tail doesnt mean it will work like one.
come on , really? again? xD
7528050
sorry. Next time ill copy and paste AFTER fixing your name.
was everything after ". ." supposed to be in bold text?
and on a side note, is he keeping the fact that Twilight works him like a slave/dog a secret for a reason? Because Twilight seems to be intent on hiding it... or taking partial credit for his work... either way
7548952 wasn´t the case in the doc dreamy let me pre-read.
7548952
ill check soon.
as for twilight, she just takes pride in the fact that she rased Spike well while Spike is just being stubborn.
7548952 fixed
7549413 stubbornly not complaining about his intensive labor, or even allowing an opportunity to lessen it? I guess he thinks it's just a problem for him and Twi to work out. Tant pis, c'est sa vie.
7549590 its more like she just so used to it that to her its the normal amount of work. So #Blame Spike. Still twilights fault for not noticing though.
7549609
Actually #Blame Friends. Spike had it easier when twilight didnt get out much. Hence, why they see each other as brother and sister.
alright first and foremost:
Pacing, the story is going too fast, chapters 1 and 2 are ok but they could be a bit longer description wise.
Characterization, its ok to exagerate some flaws for the sake of the plot but too much and it becomes OOC, you had the right idea, cant have a pet but has a job, give Twilight her own problems to deal with so ot becomes understandable that she forgets/overlooks others.
Tension, almost everypony knows him, that takes away any tension from the story, unless you introduced a possible major treat on the background this will looks like a power fantasy for Spike.
Anyways thats what i have to offer you, good luck
7596794
I'm new to writing so at the moment, pacing is my biggest enemy.
Over Characterization = simple comedy (some characters are over exaggerated for things that happen and this is most noticeable in chapter 6. Yes, I know what I did to Rarity's character of being super whinny is bad but next chapter actually gives a reason why she was so whinny at the hospital.)
Tension won't appear till much later and not everyone knows he has powers, I mean its only Ponyvile that knows.
Thanks for the review though. I'll try to fix the problems as the chapters come out but for now expect little tension, over characterized characteristics and overpoweredness from Spike.
7596934 hey, its your story im just pointing few stuff.
7597212
i wasn't trying to be mean it just ment that i understood what you said. I will try to fix all of what you said in future dragons but it just hard to do that right now. Where i got my inspiration from, THE GAMER, did something similar to what im doing.
7597325 im sry, i never meant to sound offended, its just my way of writing confuses people sometimes.
7597447
i though i did the same thing! That is so cool! And a pain if people actually do confuse it.
7597498 ha i know the feeling, i actually got in trouble irl because of it, such a pain.
7597963
im actual ultra casual irl so i dont know the feeling there but when writing is when you tend to notice it