I usually enjoy MLP because its cute, its funny, and its very adventurous. My favorite MLP characters are Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Fluttershy. I enjoy reading stories about Twilight the most.
Starlight Glimmer vows to go back in time to save Twilight from being assassinated. Before all that, she explains what happened after Twilight reformed her, before Twilight was assassinated, and after the assassination.
This story is considered a flashback of what happened to Starlight Glimmer before she was reunited with Twilight Sparkle in twotonedearly's Equestrian Civil War: An Alternate Universe.
Page generated in 0.127 seconds
Total duration
793 users online
575,220 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Starlight Glimmer doesn't even get mentioned in the Assassinverse. Will we get an explanation for that?
7933545
In twotonedearly's story: Equestrian Civil War: A Alternate Universe, Twilight already mentioned that she reformed Starlight Glimmer and made her as Twilight's student since after the season 5 finale. I'm just using my own imagination to discuss specifically what happened to Starlight before she became reunited with Twilight. Remember, this story is based on one of the non-canon Assassinverse stories that I read in my library.
So that's what Amadeus looks like. Here's hoping Star doesn't accept his offer.
Whoa! What a twist!
I'm going to be honest with you: This is one of my favorite stories on FIMfiction. I only have 11 favorite stories so far one of them being yours. I love how it's told from Starlight Glimmer's point of view. In my opinion, first person point of view makes the emotion so much stronger because it's coming from the pony feeling those emotions themselves.
I had to say I did not see that coming. How did Prince Blueblood survive being burned?! We'll get to hear more later!
I can't wait! Please, keep writing this story! I just can't wait! Yay!!
7969156
Prince Blueblood did not survive being burnt. He's already dead you know.
7969251 Then, maybe it's a relative I saw at the end of the chapter or something. However, I still can't wait to see what happens! Can't wait for the next chapter!
7969253
It's Amadeus, who happens to be Prince Blueblood's father, that Starlight is getting confronted by. You'll see how Starlight reacted to his presence.
7969275 Ah, okay! Well, I'm very excited to see what happens!
Awesome story and I love how the last chapter goes into my story's Chapter 3 perfectly.
8127579
If you think it's awesome, you should see my other story "Sunset Shimmer's Return to Equestria." It might give you a few more ideas to add to your story.
"More better" is grammatically incorrect. Should be just "better"
Verb tenses. Should be was
should either be "the" white unicorn or "a" blond mane.
You need a noun or a pronoun in there. Probably "Princess Celestia"
Verb tenses again. Should be "harassed" or "been harassing her all the time"
Should be 2 words may be.
Should be "poses".
Should be "he'd" -past tense.
This is kind of scrambled. IMO, you probably mean
I noticed that Twilight did try to pretend that she didn't have to worry about Blueblood, but on her masked face I can see horror and anger deep within her eyes.
either "did tell" or just "told"
IMO, you could use an editor
You know what?
1 No one likes being nagged
2 Grammar corrections aren't of general interest & the comment section isn't really the right place for them.
3 Doing it is wrecking my enjoyment of what I still hope will be an interesting story.
So, I'm going to stop with the comment that IMO, you are in urgent need of an editor. I will do it if you want or just never mention it again if you prefer.
Most of your problems arise from the fact that you are trying to write in the past tense & you keep wandering in and out of it
Here's how Trevor Phillips would've forced Blueblood to back down.
Trevor Phillips: Screw me? Is that what you want? You wanna get down and screw each other?
*Blueblood gets freaked out and runs away*
7933545
Let him do his own thing. Heck, I plan on doing an Assassinverse story - with a certain anti-hero getting his own movie this year, played by one Tom Hardy.
Hey man, I'm actually gonna kinda use your Assassinverse - Unicornian something and another story a little bit for my own Assassinverse story: Assassinverse - Of Venom and Assassins.
"Hey, leave her alone!"*reveals Eddie Brock*
*Amadeus hits him with a powerful spell blast, but the symbiote starts coming out of his body*"What the hell are you?"
"We..."*mask comes over his face along with razor sharp teeth*"… are Venom."
*Amadeus screams in terror as Venom kills him*
That's what's gonna happen to him. Amadeus is gonna be killed by Venom. By getting ripped in half and his brain getting eaten.
What an emotional chapter. Good work.