A pony of mystery in the darkness. Or I forgot to take the lens cap off. (They/them is fine.)
Partway though her second year at CHS, Sunset Shimmer unexpectedly learns she's been appointed a princess of Equestria.
Also, her old homeland needs her to return immediately.
Prereaders of all or parts of the story: Kirtai, FanOfMostEverything, JP, Shirlendra, EileenSaysHi, Carlos S., Secret Artichoke, (I think I got everyone, but if I left you out, please send me info I can use to confirm.)
Art notes: I made the cover image by editing MLP comic panel and show art.
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It's good for what it is.
It would've been. Damn you author for ruining it.
This was a very interesting "What if something happened to Celestia and Sunset was made into a Princess" story.
11387271
SPOILERS? I don't know whether to complain that this is too much of a spoiler or not.
Have to be honest, the Nightmare Moon subplot seemed really out-of-left-field and detached from the rest of the story, but other than that (and to echo Skyblazer's comment), this was an interesting hypothetical.
(Also, quick heads-up: there's a leftover prereaders' note at the top of the epilogue.)11387276
Thanks! Leftover note
fotfor prereaders now removed.Well that was a thing that happened
That was fun.
A strange mish-mash of stories and ideas:
Sunset Shimmer being appointed Princess by a last will and testament.
Luna jilted that Celestia stole her love.
Celestia grooming Twilight. (Or at least a somewhat-groomed Twilight in false love with her mentor.)
Celestia preparing an ascension spell for an eternal lover. (With some unfortunate undertones.)
This could've benefitted from using just one of these ideas, not all of them together in less than 10,000 words. Bully, unreformed Sunset becoming ruler of Equestria through happenstance and having to emotionally develop abruptly is a great idea, but it's bogged down by all the others.
Interesting. Little on the hurried side, but a good read.
11387276
TBH the Twilestia subplot seemed more left field for me
I feel unsure about this story. It is clearly structured to be a dark drama but the dialogue is written like a comedy.
Chapter 1: Ok, this looks great!
Chapter 2: Let's ditch our main character and have a chapter about what a bad pony Celestia is because why not. Surely that won't detract from the story. Except that, no...it totally does.
Chapter 3: Suddenly Sunset has a totally differently personality for some reason.
Chapter 4: Sprinkle unjustified sentimentality on top, the end.
This story started out very promising, but then went all over the place and suddenly ended. I agree with other commenters that this would have been better had it focused on one thing rather than each chapter feeling like unrelated pieces of completely different story ideas.
11387678
True
I feel like this story needed to be longer.... You could have actually done something with your Ideas if you just spent some more time with everything!
11387717
This, basically.
Just got boring
What the buck did I just read?
That's not how Toxo works. It does not make someone selectively afraid of one thing while unafraid of another. In Foxes, it breaks down the individual's fight or flight response. A fox with Toxo simply won't be afraid of anything. In horses and ponies, the effects are more or less the same as in humans where it takes on the symptoms of a viral infection. A mild infection may have no symptoms at all.
This should be interesting
How did they get their hands on that!?!?
And how does one of them, know how to drive a motorcycle!?!?
https://m.lol.
I'm pretty sure what Twilight mentioned about Fluttershy is false.
https://m.Sometimes I forget how sad Luna's past is.
https://m.That is just fucked up!
Lol, napping car.
Don't blame yourself Sunset, you can't change the past.
Aww.
I'm guessing so no one knows it's her/she's trying to be cautious.
Likely.
Ngl, I was a little worried I wasn't gonna like this story as some of your other ones I don't seem to like, but this one is one of the goods ones you've made and I'm glad I read it.