Big Tavi Lil Tavi Cardboard Box

by All Art Is Quite Useless

Are You Mad?

Author's Note:

Tracklist:
Wiley - Wearing My Rolex
DJ Fresh - Gold Dust
Tinie Tempah - Pass Out
JME - Calm
Big Narstie - Giant

Twilight turned slightly upon hearing Vinyl, before exclaiming in shock, jumping backwards, flapping spastically and launching herself a few feet to the right as Rainbow tried to keep a lid on her steadily growing laughter. Vinyl stood, dumbfounded, as Twilight recovered from her embarrassing position on the floor. She then turned to glare at Rainbow.

Rainbow held her hooves up in front of front of her, suddenly floating, as if preparing to evade Twilight, as she quickly spoke.

"Whoa, hold on, Twilight! Before you say anything, I've gotta tell ya, that was really damn funny. And I'm talking like 'I'm gonna laugh myself a hernia' funny! You freaked the hell out!"

Twilight responded, red faced and flustered, with annoyance in her tone. "Well thanks, Rainbow, glad I amuse you so much."

Rainbow laughed nervously. "But seriously, Twilight, you are getting better. I'd say you'll have it more or less down within a couple of weeks." Clearly eager to change the subject, Rainbow's eyes surveyed the room before landing on Vinyl, who still didn't know what to make of things. "Hey, Pon-3! What's up?" Rainbow glided over with haste and before Vinyl knew it, she was beside her, a wide grin on her face.

Vinyl didn't know what to say. The situation had not gone anywhere near how she had expected it would so far. She decided the conclusion was that Ponyville was a strange place, and it was best to just roll with it, and not think too much. So, instead of pondering what the heck had just happened, at her brain's behest, she turned to face Rainbow, regarding her with a smile of equal size, and spoke.

"Hey, dude! You know, I've seen you in the air a few times, doing what you do, and I've gotta say you've got some killer moves! I, personally, would call myself a fan. You own that sky! I'll be surprised if you don't make wonderbolts history one day."

It's not a lie, I know she'll make wonderbolts history, I've seen her in action. Honestly, I do think she's a respectable mare, but she's freaking scary too. Like seriously, she could probably smack me all over the place if she lost her temper.

Rainbow's grin only widened and she put on a boastful tone. "Well, what you've probably seen is just my standard flying. I can see how somepony could confuse that with an aerial trick though, I'm a pretty good flyer, after all." Her unrehearsed speech was cut short by more daggers being glared her way by Twilight, forcing her to adopt a more bashful tone, a strange thing to hear from such a confident mare, in Vinyl's opinion. "But thanks, Pon-3, it's nice to know that I'm brightening somepony's day when I'm showing off. Honestly, I'm a bit of a fan myself, you've made some awesome tracks." Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck as she spoke, voice cracking slightly.

Well, that provoked a fast change. Rainbow must be pretty used to being scolded by Twilight, considering how quickly she changed her behaviour. With that in mind, I'd rather not get on the wrong side of an all-powerful Alicorn either.

"You often do. And please, just 'Vinyl' is fine. Thanks for the compliment too, it's nice to know somepony is enjoying my music."

Rainbow smiled sheepishly. "you're probably wondering what we were doing aren't you? Twilight, mind if I tell her?"

Great, now I get to hear about the scandalous relationship, as if my reason for being here isn't already awkward enough.

Twilight nodded, begrudgingly, and Rainbow continued. "Right now, I'm teaching Twilight all about wing control."

Vinyl paused. "I'm sorry, what?"

Twilight looked ready to die of embarrassment as Rainbow spoke once again.

"You know, wing control! Well, I guess you don't. You see, basically, when a pegasus is young, their wings are extremely sensitive, and quick to stiffen, become locked in place or flap uncontrollably when their owner feels a strong emotion. Of course, when you're a foal, all emotions are pretty strong, which is why you often don't see young pegasi flying. All pegasus children have to learn about wing control, so they won't accidentally freeze up when they're flying cause they're too annoyed or excited."

Vinyl nodded, amusement painted across her face. "And Twilight must need this because--"

"Because my wings are still relatively new, I wasn't born with them after all." Twilight interrupted. "What Rainbow was doing was attempting to teach me how to maintain control of my wings, whilst emulating various emotional triggers, designed to make me want to react. The theory is that with practice, I should be able to stave off the urge to flap away, or tighten up, and won't be at risk of doing it during conversation. As Rainbow is the most in control of her wings out of all the pegasi I know in the area, I decided it would be best to ask her to be my instructor on wing etiquette."

This is pretty hilarious. The idea of Rainbow Dash being an instructor of etiquette is just too damn funny. How the hell am I meant to not laugh at that? She's even more casual in her mannerisms than me for crying out loud, and that's saying something!

Vinyl struggled to form a coherent response, worried she might burst into laughter if she spoke on the subject too long, eventually settling for a simple statement.

"I see, that's very interesting, I never realised there was so much to it."

"Yeah, I was pretty surprised too." Twilight laughed nervously as she spoke, before straightening herself out and standing in a pose befitting a member of the highest echelon there was. "Now, may I ask why you are here, Vinyl Scratch?"

She spoke with a serious tone in her voice that was not present earlier. Vinyl could tell that it was the voice she used to address her subjects, rather than her friends. Not an uncaring voice, but a dutiful one, with which she could mask her emotions and fears and talk with power and influence on a subject. Twilight Sparkle and the Princess Twilight were two very different ponies, it could be argued.

Vinyl pushed her strength into her voice as she responded, figuring that the best way to receive results was to be direct. She had quickly forgotten the jovial nature of their discussion up until this point. "I've come to seek your counsel regarding friendship. That is, I wish to retain the friendship I already have, and learn to like myself also, for who I am. I have not been a happy pony recently, Princess Sparkle, and I'm worried that'll be a permanent problem if I don't do something to fix things. This isn't my first time feeling this way, but it is the first in a long time. I only hope that you can help me."

Twilight regarded Rainbow. "Would you like her to leave?

Vinyl shook her head. "I have no issue with her being here."

"If she stays, you have my utmost confidence that she will keep anything you say here confidential. She is, after all, the living embodiment of the Element of Loyalty."

"As I've said, I have no problem with it, feel free to listen in, Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow nodded. "Thanks, Vinyl."

At this point, Vinyl began to recount her experiences over the last couple of days, from the tension of the house being thrown into turmoil to the issue with the bank teller, all the way to Octavia's discovery, her brooding, standoffish reaction, and her verbal attack on Ditzy Doo, which both Rainbow and Twilight winced at, when it was mentioned. She also explained certain other things, such as her extreme dislike of silence, and feeling boxed in. She explained that she is very close to her roommate, mainly because she feels relaxed and secure around her, and not because they have spent a lot of time bonding. In fact, Vinyl said that most often they only interact for a couple hours a day, favouring time spent alone pursuing their own goals.

She briefly touched upon her rant, mentioning that she disliked people's preconceptions and assumptions regarding her, and that she was scared to show her real, unfiltered self, favouring the persona she had constructed over the last few years. She mentioned that she had only been a DJ and producer for a few years, and when Rainbow pressed the issue, skirted around the question of what it was she had done before that. She did, however, say that she was more miserable and unfulfilled then, before she found her current profession, then she ever could be now.

She ended her explanation by again iterating just how trapped she felt, and how often her mind was in a state of conflict. She told the two mares that she felt like she didn't even know who she was at times, and didn't know what to do with her life. She said that she had considered running away and starting again someplace else, that she wasn't sure where to go from here. She remarked that it was only because of her roommate's strength, faith and conviction that she was able to seek help, rather than succumbing to cowardice, once again. She told Twilight, and Rainbow, that she wanted to find the real Vinyl, and be happy in herself. When she had finished speaking, she risked a small smile, hoping that she hadn't driven away the pair with what she considered as nonsensical babbling.

While Twilight returned her expression, Rainbow spoke aloud. "Jeez, sounds like you're really screwed up, Vinyl. I'm sorry to hear that, really."

Vinyl flinched at the comment, before looking away in shame, not having the energy to argue with Rainbow's summary, which was entirely correct in her mind.

"Crap! I'm sorry, Vinyl! I was just kidding! I didn't mean that... I'm just not very good at these things, and--" She chuckled awkwardly. "--I never really know what to say to cheer somepony up, so I always try to make light of things. It was rude of me to make a joke, I'm so sorry."

Throughout the explanation, Twilight had not said much, nor had her face, with all of it's regal countenance, given anything away. When she spoke, it was not with the authoritative tone she had used earlier, but the same soft tone she had regarded Rainbow with.

"I would very much like to help you, Vinyl. Everypony deserves to be happy, especially somepony like you, who makes others smile so often. I think I understand what you're going through, somewhat at least. You're trying to be something you've never really been, and you're only realising now that maybe it's okay to just be yourself. When I was sent to Ponyville, I didn't think I could be a different pony to who I was at the time, nor did I think I would need to be. When I became an Alicorn, and when I was granted this castle, It was the other way round. I thought I would have to become somepony different in order to be an effective ruler, and again, I was wrong. It's always okay to be who you are, if you're confident, happy, and optimistic, and have the help of those who care about you, you can do anything! I would be glad to show you the truth of these words, step by step, if you would let me?"

Vinyl was surprised by how humble and honest Princess Twilight was, she had not expected such warm and friendly treatment, especially directly after her explanation. She couldn't help but let the relief show on her face, as she released a large portion of her pent up worry with a breath, and faced Twilight, shades slightly lowered, before replying. "I would love that, Princess. I'm not entirely sure what you showing me will entail, but I'm willing to try. Thank you. And thank you both for listening, without judgment." She eyed Rainbow. "Well, without much at least."

"H-Hey, I was kidding, Vinyl, I mean it." Rainbow replied, scuffing her right forehoof across the floor.

Vinyl let out a small laugh. "I know you were. Well, I do now at least. Just teasing you, silly."

Rainbow's face lit up. "Hey! I'm not freakin' silly! Take that back!"

Vinyl stared ahead in mock pensiveness before responding. "No, I suppose you're not, just real easy to wind up." She smirked playfully.

Rainbow grinned and nudged her shoulder. "Well played, I'll get you back for that, Pon-Cubed."

Vinyl laughed briefly at the remark before realising she was giving away her edge. I've never been called that before, it has a ring to it. "Wow, I didn't know you could do maths, Dashie. Talented and smart! You'll go far kid."

Rainbow glowered at Vinyl. "Stop patronising me! Ugh, no wonder you need friendship lessons, you're as bad as Twilight over here."

Twilight adopted an unconvincing tone, clearly meant to portray hurt. "Rainbow! How could you say that! I'm the Princess of Friendship!"

"Yeah and I'm the freakin' queen!" She shot back.

Vinyl erupted in laughter, silencing the two bickering mares at once. She put a hoof to her glasses, closing her eyes and lifting them to wipe a tear away, then putting them back into place. "Celestia, if I had known that you Elements of Harmony were such characters I would have introduced myself sooner! It's a shame we had to meet like this."

Twilight smiled once again, nodding as Vinyl spoke. "It's better than not having met at all! You know, Vinyl, you may be on your way to making a couple of new friends already."

"If you're lucky, that is! The Rainbow Dash only hangs with the best, after all." She winked at Vinyl as she finished her proclamation.

"Clearly not, or you and me would have been inseparable for years now." Vinyl sharply riposted.

"You're good." Rainbow admitted, impressed with Vinyl's banter.

"The best." Vinyl concluded.

"Bet I can still blow your mind though!" Rainbow started.

"we'll see."

"Okay, so." Rainbow approached Vinyl and studied her intently.

Vinyl felt uncomfortable under the sudden scrutiny, and started to wonder what Dash had meant by her last statement. There's no way she was propositioning me... Is there? Just as Vinyl was about to say something, Rainbow held a hoof up and gave the results of her analysis.

"Hmm, so I can say for sure you didn't eat this morning. You last showered yesterday evening, I think. You have most of your weight on your left hoof, so I'm going to assume your right one's hurt somehow? And you've eaten a breath mint recently, within the last half an hour I'd say, probably to hide the smell of this morning's cigarette, am I right?"

Vinyl was scared, visibly so. "How the hell do you know all that? Have you been following me or something?"

Rainbow rapidly shook her head and then struck a slight pose. "Basic pegasus intuition baby! Honed to perfection by yours truly."

Vinyl didn't feel relieved in the slightest. "I'm not buying it, explain."

Rainbow straightened up and looked at Vinyl squarely, noticing she looked perturbed by her sudden guesswork. "Okay, so basically, pegasi have heightened natural instincts and intuition from birth, that's chronological, something to do with the race's genealogy. Some pegasi have it more than others, you're looking at a bit of a special case."

"I know that much, but that still doesn't explain how you could determine all that by giving me a once over, special how?"

"I got a very strong version of the ability at birth. It's likely something to do with me being a descendant of Commander Hurricane's most trusted scout, Major Krieg. He was renowned for being able to determine enemy numbers and positions from miles away, and anticipate their battle tactics from there. It's said that he could even count raindrops as they fell, but I ain't that good. This is just what I've read anyways, but I know that he's my ancestor, and the ability runs strong in my family. As such, I've got an extremely heightened sense of smell, sight, and hearing, something I've honed with time in the air throughout my life. It's to the point now that if I really concentrate, I can tell how many grains there are in a piece of wheat, or I can do a 360 of sweet apple acres and count the apples in the trees in no time. It's actually kinda hard to turn off, honestly. So yeah, working out you had mint on your breath wasn't exactly hard work. Sorry if I freaked ya out."

Vinyl only stared, perplexed. She thought it had been an elaborate joke, up until this point, when she realised that Rainbow's explanation actually made perfect sense. "That's actually amazing. I'm really impressed, I can't lie. You must have a really analytical mind then, are you adept at calculations?"

Rainbow thought for a moment. "Maths and stuff? Yeah, it kind of comes naturally with the perception. I can add things up pretty quickly, but I don't know anything about advanced math. Only special equations I can do are geological and geographical ones, which I learnt in flight school. Everything you learn there is compulsory, and they drill it into you, so it's hard to forget. A lot of thought goes into weather work, as well as flight dynamics, after all."

"I find flight dynamics very interesting. The main variables which affect flight for pegasi are air speed versus altitude, propulsion and subsequent air resistance, gravity constants depending on the area and the individual pegasus anatomy, correct, Rainbow?"

"Almost! You forgot wing beats per minute depending upon weight. Have you flown in an aircraft before, Vinyl?"

"Better than that!" Vinyl laughed. "I've fashioned my own wings, a couple of times. It's a difficult spell to keep up though, if you want them flexible, sturdy, and easy to use."

"I've seen something like that before. Magical wings, I mean. Remember, Twilight?" Rainbow growled.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Rainbow, that was almost two years ago, let it go will you? Anyway, where did you learn so much about flight, Vinyl? I mean, I expect it from Rainbow considering her profession but unicorns typically aren't that knowledgeable on the subject."

Vinyl looked away. Despite her attempts to be more upfront and remove her barriers, she was finding it difficult. "Ah, well, you know... You pick little things up here and there. I've just got a good memory, that's all."

Despite the glint of curiosity in Twilight's eye, this seemed to sate her, to Vinyl's relief. Unfortunately, she saw that same look enter Rainbow's eye shortly after, as if she had just realised the validity of what Twilight had said, and wanted answers herself. Twilight must have noticed it also, as she spoke up briskly.

"So, Vinyl! I really think it's time I gave you my first task! I mean, what's life without a mission, huh? Okay, first thing's first, you need to go apologise to Ditzy. Like really, you do. That mare is very sensitive, but also very understanding, and will really appreciate a genuine apology, don't you think Rainbow?"

Rainbow studied the ground as she quietly responded. "yeah, I could tell you that from experience."

"So it's settled, you'll go apologise to Ditzy, and then you'll let me know how it went. I'd prefer it if you came back and visited me in person, but if you're pushed for time, a short letter will do. Now, I'll let you get to it! Once that's out of the way I'll be happy to guide you forwards, but you can't go into this with an unfinished matter pending, okay, Vinyl?"

Vinyl nodded. "It's funny, Tavi said the same thing."

Twilight cocked her head. "I'm sorry, 'Tavi'?"

Vinyl realised what she had said. "I'm sorry. My roommate, Octavia Melody."

"Ah, the cellist! I've heard some of her pieces, she's wonderful if I may say so."

Vinyl nodded once more. "That she is."

Rainbow yawned, stretching her limbs and flapping once, hard. "Well, I don't know anything about cellists, but I do know I'm heading in the direction of Ditzy's place, want me to tag along Vinyl?"

Before Vinyl could answer, Twilight piped up. "Actually, I'd like Vinyl to go alone, it will give her some time to mentally prepare for what she's going to say to Ditzy."

"Oh, sure thing, Twi. I'll be faster on my own anyways. I'll let you go on ahead Vinyl, whenever you're ready. You and me should hang out again at some point soon though, you're a pretty cool mare. Well, compared to the average at least."

"Which reminds me! Vinyl, you're free to go, don't let us keep you."

Vinyl eyed them both before smiling broadly. "You weren't, trust me. I actually had fun, this isn't how I expected this to go at all. Thank you both. Anyways, you're probably right, I should get going if I wanna catch Ditzy before she's gotta pick up her daughter from school. I'd rather not do this in front of her, in case she gets upset." Vinyl's tone switched mid sentence from a happy, energetic one, to one of guilt and she quickly attempted to perk up. "Well, time to Dash! No pun intended." Another day, another facehoof. "See ya!"

After Vinyl had left, Rainbow turned to Twilight. "So, why couldn't I go with her? It wouldn't have made that much of a difference."

"Because, Rainbow, there's something about her. I think that mare is a little more than meets the eye, and I can see it surfacing, whatever it is, but it's slow. I don't wanna scare that part of her that so desperately needs to be understood back into hiding before it's even woken up properly! And your brash manner isn't exactly the best way to ease ponies into things, sorry Rainbow.

"Eh, it's cool. I'll get to hang out with her again though right?"

"I don't see why not." Twilight eyed rainbow suspiciously. "Why do you care anyways? This is unlike you, Rainbow Dash."

"I just think she's cool, okay?" Rainbow defended.

"Cooler than the Rainbow Dash?" Twilight smirked.

"Of course not! Look-- I'm-- Stop freaking laughing!"

By this point Twilight was practically in tears, and composed herself only because she was worried she may have struck a nerve. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry, Rainbow. Shall we get back to lessons?"

"Sure." Rainbow said grumpily. "Um, let me think."

Twilight nodded and they both began flapping their wings in the same slow, rhythmic pattern to earlier.

"So, you've just walked in on Shining Armour boning the hell out of Cadance, aka, your old foalsitter."

Twilight's wings kept in check as she responded. "Gross, but I could probably handle it. I'd just close my eyes and walk back out, the less I see, the less it bothers me, it's gonna happen after all."

Rainbow kept speaking, undeterred. "Spike just ripped out the indent pages of every single book in your library."

Twilight ground her teeth together, but her wings kept rhythm.

"And is currently setting them all on fire."

Twilight's eye twitched, but her wings didn't falter.

Rainbow grinned a little, then continued. "Celestia just sent you a letter. Inside, it says just how bad of a student you are, in detail, and how much you've let her down."

Twilight's right wing twitched at the base, but she distracted herself by trying to respond. "Well, that wouldn't happen, Celestia has always been proud of me as her student and--"

"Furthermore" Rainbow announced. "She regrets to inform you that she has found a young, great and powerful unicorn with promising talent to potentially serve as your replacement."

"That's not funny, Rainbow, Celestia would never do that."

"I'm very sorry, my faithful student" Rainbow pretended to read aloud. "But you pale in comparison to the Great and Powerful Trixie. Why, did you know she once banished an ursa major? Where is that on your list of feats? In fact, I do believe she recently rescued you from queen Chrysalis, I suppose you were helpless without her. You know what? I may just have to grant her Alicorn status too! Then I'll build her a castle, right next to yours. And I think I'll make Starlight Glimmer one too cause I'm just that generous, and then I'll--"

Twilight's wings spanned out of control as she shouted fiercely. "Where is she?! I'll fucking slap the bitch! I'm supposed to be the protege! Me! What makes her think she could throw me away like that for Trixie, of all ponies?! And another thing--" At this point Twilight was cut off by her connection with a nearby wall, owing to the vigorous seizure her wings had just undergone.

Rainbow's laughter could be heard for miles.

Comments

[EverfreePony]

Wow, that ending is priceless You were right AAIQU, this chapter is great. Sherlock Dashie Holmes, raindrop counting and wing antics... genius
Be aware there are a few direct speeches missing capitalization, but otherwise this made my evening!

[All Art Is Quite Useless]

7914433 Thanks! I had a lot of fun writing this one, I like adding little things to the story's lore where I can too, such as Dash's perceptive talent. I will go through the chapter mistake hunting soon, no worries. Next chapter will likely be up tomorrow, definitely by friday. Thanks for the continued feedback I appreciate it a lot!

AAIQU

[All Art Is Quite Useless]

7965580 Yeah, that first bit probably came off as rude, didn't it? I suppose the way it was meant to look was: 'Sometimes Twilight can be herself and then sometimes she's a princess with responsibilities. At those times, she can't always afford to be polite and kind, she has to give off an air of direction and authority.'

Im glad you liked the chapter! I figure wing spasms have gotta be a thing! Could you imagine being in a meeting with those awful awful nobles, listening to them speak and then bam, you're twitching in frustration... Except oh shit, you're not twitching, actually your two new appendages have gone rogue and are driving you forwards to dive bomb the stupid snob. Rainbow Dash teaches to avoid that.

I'd say you're likely right about the variety, I could use to go in there and break up the dialogue somewhat, even if it would lengthen the chapter slightly. Just a little, but you've gotta imagine Twilights been listening to Rainbow's taunts for a significant amount of time now, and her wings would have been giving her annoyance away every time, Rainbow couldn't help but get good at pushing her buttons!

Out of interest, what did you think of Twilight and Rainbow's characterisation in this chapter?

AAIQU