Big Tavi Lil Tavi Cardboard Box

by All Art Is Quite Useless

Top Cat Meets D.J. Rap

Author's Note:

I will be writing each chapter of this fiction whilst listening to the music referenced. I will not make any direct references to the songs in the text, but will provide a list of songs which influenced each chapter, things Vinyl would most definitely approve of!
Tracklist:
Top Cat - Ruffest Gun Ark (DJ Rap remix)
Super Sharp Shooter - The Ganja Kru
The Prodigy - Charly
DJ Krust - Warhead
DJ Hazard - Machete VIP
Happy reading!

She is bloody insufferable. I mean really, I thought I was mad when I first agreed to put up with her inane noise, but now she chooses to inflict it upon me nonstop with this massive contraption? I've had it.

Octavia promptly trotted across the foyer and into the main room, all the while feeling the floor's fibrillation increasing in intensity as the ground shook relentlessly. Octavia silently pondered how it was that their walls still stood, that the earth around Ponyville wasn't fragmented and there weren't fire hydrants bursting outside. How Vinyl could subject herself to that level of noise and still function (albeit idly at times) was beyond her.

We should get noise complaints. Why do we not get noise complaints? I do not care if Vinyl's soundproofing spell was designed by Celestia herself, it should not function to this capacity. Upon looking up, clenching her jaw as she did to prevent her teeth from shattering from the sheer vibration, she spotted Vinyl, standing almost stock still, at the epicentre of a spiral of speakers, all poised in positions she claimed gave her maximum 'sound penetration'.

She stood, shades slightly lowered, in what appeared to be a meditative state. The tremulous floor shook all around, yet Vinyl remained inert, save the odd appreciative nod, or small twitch. A smile remained plastered to her face the whole time.

Great, now she's defying physics somehow. I thought that was Pinkie's job? I suppose the verdict is still out on Vinyl. Right. "Vinyl!" Nothing. "Vinyl, are your eardrums defunct?" Octavia remained unnoticed, to her chagrin. Okay, I am either to risk breaking my vocal cords or wait for a transition it seems, I wonder how long that will take? A couple of minutes perhaps? I'm sure I could manage that. Ten seconds passed.

"VINYL SCRATCH YOU WILL TURN THIS FLIPPING CACOPHONY OFF RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME LUNA I WILL START CUTTING LEADS. FIVE, FOUR, TH--"

"Hey, Tavi! Why are you counting? Are you trying to guesstimate when the drop is? I do that sometimes too, but I know all of these songs. If anything this is a bit of a throwback for me. Just a few songs from my foalhood--"

"HOW COULD YOU NOT HEAR ME? HOW CAN I HEAR YOU, YOU'RE NOT EVEN SHOUTING OVER IT? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS RIGHT N--"

"About 36 and a half hours of UK Drum and Bass, Jungle, Breakbeat, Ragga, Garage and Dubplate... like I said, just a few. Want in?" Vinyl flashed a small grin as she spoke.

"NO I DO NOT WANT IN! I WANT YOU TO TURN THIS-- HOLD ON, UK?"

"United Klubland: They're a big label out of Baltimare, wanted me to sign a contract with them, but they didn't include any cute drinks with umbrellas in the offer so I had to decline, I mean I have to support myself after all." Vinyl's grin glinted against the gleaming sun shining through the living room window.

"OH SO YOU COULD HEAR THAT COULD YOU? BUT WHENEVER I MENTION TURNING THE MUSIC OFF--" By this point Octavia had gone red with a mixture of anger and exasperation, her rear legs felt almost atrophic from the constant shaking and her vocal cords felt ready to burst under the strain her voice was taking.

"What was that? Sorry, Tavi, I can barely hear you! You should really speak up you know, it's hard to hear you when you're so quiet, and I don't want to miss anything of the important things you have to say." All the while Vinyl's smirk grew in size, until it was almost gargantuan, spreading across her entire face.

"YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE! IN FACT, HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?" She briefly stopped to cough and then resumed speaking. "YOU HAVEN'T RAISED YOUR VOICE ONCE YET SOMEHOW--"

"Uh, bass pony logic? I don't try and explain why I'm awesome, Tavi, I leave that to the fans. Maybe you know why?" Vinyl raised an eyebrow as she spoke, simultaneously lowering her glasses a tad.

All the while Octavia gesticulated as she replied with increased vigour. "THAT'S IT?! YOU'VE BEEN ABLE TO HEAR ME THIS WHOLE TIME HAVEN'T YOU? WELL, VINYL?"

"Now, Tavi, don't be mad with me! I was just trying to have a little fun, you know?" Vinyl looked ready to break down in laughter, her rapidly stomping hoof the main indication, but it wasn't apparent in her tone. In fact, she made it sound as if she was completely unaffected by the whole situation.

"YOU INSUFFERABLE SIMPLETON! THIS IS BOLLOCKS! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF SOMEPONY MADE YOU TEAR YOUR OWN THROAT OUT JUST SO YOU COULD BE HEARD OVER YOUR OWN DAMNED LIVING ROOM?!"

"Alright, Tavi, alright! I get it. In fact I totally understand and furthermore I accept your apology, okay?"

"HAVE YOU LOST THE PLOT?"

"I'm pretty sure my plot's right here, Tavi!" She wagged her eyebrows suggestively as she continued, glasses still lowered. "Want to have a little look just in case though?"

"STOP IT, VINYL!"

"Okay, okay, your loss though. But seriously I'll stop now, I need to eat something anyway, it's been a while. Sorry for annoying you, Tavi, you can turn it off if you like."

Despite her previous frustration, aching body and throat, and embarrassment at Vinyl's behaviour, Octavia found herself almost smiling. It was this Vinyl, although seldom seen, that made putting up with her antics almost worth the lack of sleep and constant migraines that came with them. She pondered her time spent with Vinyl as she walked up to the lead speaker, still blasting out bass ridden tunes.

Octavia thought of the gifts she had received from Vinyl, and the fact that she always provided an electric blue tail hair for her cello's bow. She thought of how Vinyl never wanted for anything, and always listened. Even if Vinyl could be a little sarcastic, and in Octavia's eyes a complete wind up merchant, Octavia cared for her roommate, as Vinyl did for her also. Despite these positive thoughts, Octavia was in a mood with Vinyl (or was meant to be at least), and couldn't give up her valuable right to huffiness too easily.

She didn't smile, nor did she grace Vinyl's apology with an answer. Instead, she finished trotting over to the huge, imposing sound system with an air of supposed indignation, and without asking Vinyl, as asking would require speaking, started to push buttons and turn knobs at random, hoping to quell the booming wrath of the complex system.

Celestia, what even is this thing? I wish Vinyl would stop testing new equipment, none of it never comes with a manual, or has a simple 'off' switch. It was at this point that she turned the leftmost, largest knob directly right with more force than needed, causing Vinyl to run at her, screaming.

"NO! TAVI, TURN IT BACK!" she exclaimed, but it was too late.

Pots and plates smashed in the kitchen as fitted drawers were torn off the walls, appliances including the mostly ornamental washing machine were ripped out of their places in the walls, the sofas were capsized, pictures and artwork alike fell from the walls, Octavia clutched her favourite teacup in one hoof and her slightly bloodied right ear in another, as Vinyl desperately scrambled, horn alight, with both forehooves in the mix, trying to calm the overloading machine.

As the music finally died down, Octavia didn't dare observe the scene. She knew that aside from her teacup, which didn't seem all that important in retrospect, the house was going to be a complete and utter wreck. She had seen a few of her things smash to pieces in seconds and she was sure she would have heard the rest if she had not been effectively deafened.

She tried to collect her thoughts, attempting to sit still, but shaking slightly. Octavia was currently trying not to make too much of a moment out of something potentially devastating, so as to save her composure. Me and my bloody pride. she mused as she sat, sprawled haphazardly on the living room carpet. Then, Vinyl came into earshot.

"Hey, Tavi?" Octavia looked up and saw Vinyl stood near the speaker. Her glasses were slightly askew, her mane was no more scruffy than usual, and she wore an unreadable expression upon her face.

"Yes, Vinyl?" Octavia replied, trying to keep her shakiness at bay. The result was slightly strained, but might have registered as dignified with some luck.

Suddenly, the unidentifiable look on Vinyl's face melted into an even larger grin. "That. Was. Killer! Like seriously, I don't think I've ever really FELT the bass like that, you know?" Vinyl paused to glance from side to side. "Shame about the house though." In an instant she had perked back up. "But seriously! Who even knew the Bassenator could function at eleven!"

Octavia glanced at her, askance. "The 'Bassenator'?" Vinyl nodded vehemently. "Why does it even go that high? Why is the max volume not ten?"

"Oh, I commissioned it to go up to eleven." Octavia continued to look at her with scepticism.

"Why?"

"Because eleven is higher." Vinyl asserted.

"Yes, Vinyl, I'm aware of the increment between ten and eleven, but what I'm asking you is this: Why can't the people who make the speakers just make the sound output as high as it would be on eleven on number ten instead? Then a number eleven wouldn't be needed."

Vinyl looked at her incredulously. "Because eleven is higher, Tavi."

"Screw you, Vinyl."

"No, but seriously, Tavi, if the eleven options were spread over less settings that would just make fine tuning harder, wouldn't it? I need more delicate options for my work and like them in my leisure too, that make sense?"

Octavia grumbled. "I suppose it does, thank you for giving me a reasonable explanation, Vinyl, it's nice to hear you talk sense sometimes."

Vinyl looked at Octavia, sat in the wake of their battered house, beginning to relax, and smirked deviously. "Plus, eleven is one higher than ten, Tavi." Octavia's facehoof resounded throughout the house, filled with new space as it was. Vinyl came to sit next to Octavia, stifling her chuckles as she approached.

"You're paying for this."

Comments

[Zerone]

There are quite a few run on sentences.

[Limescale]

That was pretty funny! I noticed a few places where your punctuation needs work, and as Zerone pointed out you do need to tighten up your sentence structure a bit more. Nothing serious, just little tweaks to make the fic that much better!

[The Hissing Fool]

Blue tail hairs for Octi's bow? Oh dear...