The Wacky and Wonderful Misadventures of Buggy the Clown

by Hoppa_21

The R-Rolling Bitch… I prefer the Diamond Dogs over this unflashy crap

“What? Cat got your tongue? Or are you simply that awed by the glorious presence of the Great and Powerful Trrrrrrrrrrrrixiiiiieeeeeeee!” the mare boasted. She kept her pose for about ten seconds, waiting for my non-existent reaction, before flaring her cape in front of her, trying to look mysterious and, dare I say it, alluring, “Trixie guesses she is simply too much for a stallion like you to take. But then again Trixie probably can’t blame you for that. Especially since you listened to Trixie and shut up like Trixie commanded.”

Pffffffft, yeah no. Not taking this unflashy crap. And also if I was captivated by anything than not by her lacking allure. More like her overly ridiculous outfit! She couldn’t be tackier if she tried! Seriously! Who wears a one-piece swimsuit with a magicians hat and cape!

“Tch!” I started to jeer, “As if I would listen to such a cheap magician rip-off!”

The mare reeled back as if struck, before her features twisted in a rather pissed off look.

“Trixie certainly could say the same about you clown rip-off and your funny red nose!”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!”

“You heard the Great and Powerful Trrrrrrrrrrrrixie!”

“OH YEAH! GET YOUR FAT FLANK OVER HERE AND SAY THAT AGAIN!”

She gasped dramatically, “MY FLANK IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT FAT YOU IMBECILE! IT IS FUN SIZED!”

“SHUT UP!” came the scream of a nearby mare guard, “OR I WILL SEE THAT THE BOTH OF YOU ARE PUT THROUGH ‘BEHAVIOR CORRECTION’!”

This r-rolling Trixie bitch then snapped her muzzle shut with an audible click. I actually wanted to use the situation to taunt her some more, but I wasn’t all too keen to find out what kind of torture they understood under ‘Behavior Correction’. I’m not a fan of whips and pain, thank you very much. Though of course it doesn’t have to do with physical but mental pain…like having to wear a pink tutu.

And yeah, this is something I’m actually thinking is a valid option around here. This place is crazy. And I mean Equestria with that. I was once in a town that did not have any weapons. Some stupid ‘no violence’ rule. Don’t ask me why they would have such a rule. Anyway since they didn’t have anything to defend themselves, except cakes since they were a baking community they developed a tradition of defending themselves with cake. Yes, throwing cake. I shudder to think of the sugary and slimy cake mess they made out of me. I still can’t believe that it worked out for them. So a pink tutu as punishment doesn’t seem all that crazy in comparison. Not to mention that Pinkie would probably don one of her own and then dance along if I would have to dance as a punishment too. That woman is crazy like that. And affectionate. Overly affectionate even by pony standards. But then again, I probably would rather deal with her than Houdini Mc Bitch over there.

A bitch that was still glaring at me I might add.

“What?” I asked contemptuously.

She huffed as she crossed her arms under her rather average and boring chest.

“You shouldn’t cause so much trouble you fool! The Great and Powerful Trrrrrrrrrrrrrixie merely wanted to help you! You were even lucky! The wardens go easy on the first escape attempt, but if they catch you again, you will get put into solitary confinement, instead of this regular confinement. And believe Trixie that this is something you don’t want.”

“And why not?” I asked now quite curious.

“Let’s just say they turn the use of mind magic up to 100, while also additionally putting you through ‘Behavior Correction’ an entire week. The ones that actually go through it are never the same again. Trixie was lucky that she wasn’t put through this herself. Though the horrors of ‘Behavior Correction’ are still something somepony as Great and Powerful as I had to endure. And let Trixie tell you, it isn’t pretty. Your best bet is trying to act like you have learned your lesson. To make them think you are accepting this tartarushole and their, ugh… Friendship Lessons.”

“So, if you are acting like you are cooperating then why are you here?”

“Uh, the Great and Powerful Trixie does not have to answer this!”

I grinned at that, but decided against tainting. No need to get into another argument that could endanger me, so I simply shrugged, “Suit yourself,” I said as I lay down on the cot that was provided for this cell. Don’t get me wrong I was annoyed and fuming at my situation, but the things this Trixie character said were troubling. Solitary Confinement is a complete brainwashing. And if I try to escape again… Mindfuckery is certainly something I don’t want to risk lightheartedly, so I need a plan to get past this barrier and walls. But to actually make such a plan I will have to work with this program, at least just so that I can gain a better understanding of this facility. I need to know where things are and how to get past this wall and how to power down this barrier. And I doubt the breaker box for it would be anywhere nearby.

I sighed. How exactly do I get into these situations? Oh yeah. My Infamous Pirate Luck has a limit. It will save me from death, and make here and there a few things easier, but it won’t protect me from everything and make my life a piece of cake, no matter how much I would want that. I’m not sure it would protect me from brainwashing either. Ugh… That is something I don’t want to test out.

And there was nothing to do right now. Only to lay back and wait. So that’s what I did. Stewing in boredom and hoping to get out soon.

---

It took a few hours at least until I got out and Applejack came to collect me. Trixie got out too and we were forced to walk after her and along some tunnels back to the surface.

“So. What now?” I wondered.

Applejack looked back for a moment, before facing ahead again, “Yer gonna follow the schedule after lunch is all. Because of yer stunt ya missed Rainbow’s term and mah own, but still got Fluttershy’s, Rarity’s, Pinkie’s and Twilight’s.

I briefly thought on that. So, Rainbow’s was athletic. Applejack’s was slave work on the apple farm. Which leaves Animal Caretaking, Fabulosity (no idea what this is), Party Planning, and Friendship Lessons. At least from what I gathered.

Only a moment later we were led into a really big dining hall. I looked around, noting with interest that she led us up into the castle. It also made me wonder how connected these tunnels were, and if I could use them to my advantage.

I also noted the diamond dogs, griffons, ponies and other beings sitting around on the different rows of tables. Not to mention the serving counter on one side of the hall.

It was then that the mare turned around pointing with a finger to the counter, “Just grab a bite ta eat. Break will be done in half an hour,” she said before walking off and out of the room.

Trixie meanwhile groaned as she got to the counter, me following close behind.

We both got our food, which was apple-related from an elderly green mare, before we sat down. Trixie casting me an annoyed glance as I sat down on her table.

“What? Are you know suddenly trying to bask in the glory of the Great and Powerful Trixie?”

I shook my head in annoyance, “I simply want to know what I have to deal with here. You are longer here than me, so, got any idea where the breaker box is to power the barrier down? Because I highly doubt a unicorn is keeping it up.”

The mare looked around conspiratorially before focusing on me again.

“Trixie sees that you are not too dumb then. Indeed, there is something powering the barrier. Something magical. Trixie heard that it is some kind of magical tree, but it is in an extremely restricted underground section that is guarded at all times. Not that such an imbecile like you would ever get close to it,” she huffed haughtily, making me cross my arms.

“I am an infamous Pirate Captain. Believe it or not but this isn’t my first time in an Equestrian base.”

“Little good will that do,” she said sighing, “Security is strict and the bracelets actually have an enchantment on them that can pinpoint our location,” she said showing that she also wore a bracelet, though not out of sea stone like mine, “Trixie learned that the hard way. So Trixie instead plans to act like she understands and hopes her extraordinary personality survives this tartarushole. And despite your rude attitude Trixie recommends you the same as well. Adapt or lose because no pony escapes from this place,” she finishes before taking her tray and leaving for another table.

It actually surprised me. Her loud personality seemed to suddenly take a backseat. There was resignation in her eyes. I didn’t like it.

I took a spoon of the apple stuff. Kaiserschmarrn with applesauce interestingly enough. It was good, but the sweetness could hardly overshadow the bitterness of this place. Sure, it didn’t look like it, but if Trixie was anything to go by I needed to be careful.

I then glanced at the three diamond dogs from prior. All of them wearing creepy, twitching smiles, clearly from the horrors of ‘Behavior Correction’. This forced or fake happiness wasn’t boding well.

My mind raced with possibilities. Not of them favorable. If the tree is guarded at all times, how can I destroy it? That was the only way to destroy the barrier, was it? It is underground too, and he would need a plan of these tunnels. Not too mention that they are probably locked. Maybe through an air vent? He needed to lose the bracelet too. Not only to use his abilities to crawl through airvents, no matter how small, but also to not be tracked… He needed help…probably. Hm... Diamond Dogs might be an alternative. They can dig. Can they also break through these walls in an underground tunnel. Once the barrier is down a riot might be just the thing. Maybe I can recruit even some for my new crew? These are all criminals, aren’t they? If such an outstanding pirate as I landed here that means some other big fishes have to be here too!

So much to think about. For now I need to play along and watch. See who is useful for my plans to come to fruition. Heh, Cake Butt will blow a fuse when I make another great escape. Too bad I won’t see her face.

I just finished with my food then an obnoxious ringing of a school bell could be heard.

Guess it is time for a lesson.

Comments

[Dusk Star Shine]

Say if you are a Displaced human why not use a token you have on you to call for help or use it to teleport yourself to a different equestria and break free of the cuffs there before returning to your equestria.

[Hoppa_21]

8685247

He has no tokens right now, so at this moment it isn't possible. We need a bit of struggle after all!

[Goldspoon]

With a bit of thinking he would easily get rid of the bracelet.
Its a dining hall so there are napkins, and seastone has to touch the skin. Given that they can't make them to tight, to not cut of the circulation, he could shove some under it and tada, free.
In the Manga he could theoreticly have done the same with rags and such, like all devil fruit users. But that would have been boring.

[Hoppa_21]

8685557

Huh. That is actually brilliant. A lot better than finding a key since none of the others would suspect it! I'm so going to use this! Thanks!

[Texus]

8685701
That was really a nice idea.

I also think that there is nothing wrong with the chapter, I still kind of hope she is an option for his crew and like usually I kind of hope he get's strong enough to beat them, that or he can somewhat prove it that their attempts to make everyone a good guy aren't perfect. (would have fool proved worked?, I'm not to sure about the grammar or how the meaning would change in this chase. You know with me being the german guy.)
8685283
That's right, I would have actually said right now, that I hope he would not use the situation to cheat his way trough any trouble or somehow mess up the flow of the storie with some overpowered crossover guy coming over to help.

I'm not against this kind of story, but I remember how easily it can messed up, with bad crossover guys visting a certain story and sometimes it looks for me like that universe doesn't works for them or they act like they would be the king and....I think that actually happened in one of your other stories, where I had that opinion about someone.

Well have a good night I liked that chapter and what was going on between him and Trixie. I just can't wait till Applejack and everyone that acts like an overly cool and colthearted policeofficer to get tricked by him.

[nightmaster0]

Another excellent chapter. Man Equestria has most certainly taken a dark turn, one that disguises itself with "friendship".

At this rate i'm half expecting for some villains like Tirek, Storm King, Sombra, etc to turn out to be the good guys fighting against the evil corrupt Celestia and her kingdom.

[FridayPie]

8686212
I kinda suspect Starlight's hoof in it. Like sucessful alteration of history or political victory. The facility reeks of Our Town.

[EspyLacopa]

8685853
I fervently hope that this story *never* crosses over into some other fanfic; I wanna read about Buggy's Adventures, not [Insert Random Other Displaced]'s story.

And let's be real: This set up has plenty of story potential already that there shouldn't be a any need for bringing in other displaced to have a solid story.

[Texus]

8697581
No matter what I maybe said before, I agree with what you said.

Most of the time I think it is easy to destroy a story like this with just one bad insert. I just remember a good story and suddenly it got ruined for me when a crossover guy...girl?, kind of raped the main char of the story and everyone watched and made fun of it.

1. the rape
2. the main char looking like a totally idiot again, kind of getting degradet in one way or another, it depens on how you think about it I guess and you would have to know the scene.

Long story short I agree with it, but as usually I just hope that the main char manage to give the others a bit of their own medicine, even if it is just a story sometimes they just look to cocky for me and I enjoy it when they get put down a peck from their high horse.
(ask again when you don't understand something, I'm not sure if I get the wording right all the time and stuff.)

[Starkiler]

Continue com essa história por favor tá muito legal mesmo eu amei essa história por favor