It had been 3 months since Night had started as a recruit of the Royal guards. He would watch and Guard the violent Ponies in exchange for 100 bits a day.
He went to his employer and had a chat with him after he had finished his shift for one of the many prisoners in the cells.
The employer was a unicorn with a red coat and orange mane which was folded over to one side.
"I have gotten you the biggest deal you can get in your life!" His employer said with enthusiasm
"Oh yeah? And who might this be?" Night asked.
"Do you know that massive fugitive? The most wanted criminal in Equestria?" He asked.
Night knew exactly who he was talking about. The strange creature that had caused murder which is very punishable in Equestria. It meant the hanging, no matter what.
"What, the hairless pink thing? Good thing he was caught and brought in, horrible freak of nature, of course I know about it." Night replied.
"Great! Because you will be watching it until it is executed which is on the 6th of July, he is up in solitary confinement." Nights employer replied.
Night had a look of worry on his face. This criminal was in the newspaper articles everywhere. Such as when it first ever killed a Pony walking in the Everfree forest. Or when he stole 2 years worth of food in 2 days in multiple towns while everyone in the stores were held as hostages.
This creature was the first creature to ever commit mass murder for thousands of years.
Nights employer noticed the look on his face and tried to comfort him. He sighed before saying "Look, I understand this is a big thing for you Night but you have come such a long way. You can't just work up something big and stop! If there is anyone that could do this, it's you. Now good luck!" And with that, his employer walked away whistling a tune.
Night slowly walked up the stairs to solitary confinement with worry. He thought of how respected he was for his work and how he was thought to be able to take this massive job of taking care of the most wanted criminal ever in Equestria.
He noticed how all of the stairs started to get more eroded. Which started to bother him to the extent that his legs started wobbling like jelly.
When he approached the cell he noticed a few things. The cell was small, had bars all around it and only had a bench and a toilet. He saw the creature, the creature was awfully malnourished and had wire like fur on its head. It had a lot of hair on its face and had barely any hair on the rest of its body.
The creature looked at him and Night quickly looked away in disgust and fear when he remembered that this creature had murdered innocent Ponies.
Night heard the creature smirk. "You think I am a freak, am I correct?" The beast said.
"Shut up, freak, I know what you are and you deserve to be killed, thankfully that is happening." Night said back coldly to the beast.
"Nice to meet you too. I hate horses, all of them. Why do you reckon we should be friends?" The creature questioned Night.
Night had started to put his things down that he was carrying with him and replied with "I don't."
"Well, I would really enjoy if we talked abo-" "Shut up, thing." Night coldly cut off.
"You aren't like the other ones. No your different. Very very different." The creature said.
Night had gotten very agitated, he had assumed that the creature was insulting him by calling him different.
"Don't call me different, your the only different thing in this world, a freak of nature. Now give me a reason on why I shouldn't just ignore you for these few days you have left on this planet."
The creature looked at him with saddened eyes. "I could tell you a story." It said.
"What type of story? A story of how you murdered innocent Ponies? Ugh Your horri-" "NO!" Night asked when cut off by the creature.
"I could tell you a story of how I ended up here..."
7879634 Do you mean the story itself is bad?
Only read the description, but I think I already like it from when I read Wollongong, Australia. Gotta love the Gong
7880029 indeed.
Hey, you ever hear that old story about a British serial killer? Well If you haven't then the gist of it is that the British caught him and attempted to hang him but the rope snaped so they decided to just ship him to Australia so that he wasn't their problem.
7880730 I have never actually heard of that story, that is so cool!
7879862 Since some people don't know how to write constructive criticism...
The quickest way to get a reader hooked into a story is to create engaging characters, or characters that develop as the story progresses. This doesn't always mean "Twilight Sparkle learned her lesson and is now a better pony." In a short story it can be as small as giving out bits and pieces of info about the character as the story progresses. You want to avoid flat out telling the reader a story, that can get boring.
Try to let the characters actions describe who they really are. (This is called showing instead of telling) Estee's "Mechanical Aptitude" is a good example.
Your characters are the base of your story. Make them somewhat flawed, and in a way that makes accomplishing their goals challenging. There are plenty of guides out there on how to make engaging characters, google is your friend.
7881818 "In a short story it can be as small as giving out bits and pieces of info about the character as the story progresses." That is actually what I am aiming at doing. Some of the character names in this story are meant to show what they are doing, however, some of these characters aren't going to be like the ones that show their entire personality and what they do. Sure some of them such as Night, show what their actions are meant to be, but we are and the tip of the iceberg in this story.
Thank you for the constructive criticism, some of the commenters are just plain rude.
7881818
Oi, I gave out my two cents ya blighter!
Well, never mind. This chapter is way better written then the first one. Xd