Chapter 9
Spike sat atop Twilight's back as they continued on their way to the coast, rubbing his sore feet. He'd made it several hours walking, but he just couldn't keep pace with the ponies for the long haul. He had to make the decision to set aside his dignity for the sake of getting to Rarity and Sweetie Belle sooner. That's all there was to it.
"So do you think we'll see any more of those gargoyle things?" Scootaloo asked Rainbow Dash. The two of them were a little ways ahead of him and Twilight in the grass-littered dune landscape. Applejack walked up ahead as well.
"I don't know, kid," Rainbow Dash replied. "Nothing we can't handle if we do, though, right?" She smiled at the filly, and Scootaloo jumped up to give her a high-hoof. It took her a couple tries to get enough air, and she kicked up some serious sand in the process. Spike had to shield his face.
"Yeah, because we handled those critters so well before, RD," Applejack said, rolling her eyes at the pegasus's suggestion.
"Hey, we did awesome!" Rainbow retorted.
"No, we did awful. The only reason the things left us alone was because of that roar the girls did, and nothin' more." Applejack nodded in thanks to Scootaloo. Apple Bloom, meanwhile, was walking with Pinkie Pie farther back, since she and Applejack still weren't exactly seeing eye-to-eye about her tagging along.
Rainbow did a barrel-roll in the air over Applejack's head. "You're just jealous that you didn't kick as much gargoyle-butt as I did."
"Oh, for cryin' out loud, it wasn't a contest!" Applejack tilted her head back, getting more irritated by the second.
"Exactly what I'd expect the loser to say."
Twilight sighed loudly, possibly in exasperation at Rainbow Dash and Applejack's arguing, which had been going off and on for several hours now. Spike wasn't quite sure.
"If only I'd brought my books on gargoyles," Twilight moaned. "Stupid!"
Nope, nevermind. She's sighing about her lack of foresight. Spike rolled his eyes upward, shaking his head. "Twilight, don't beat yourself up over that," he said. "You were thinking about getting to Rarity and Sweetie Belle, and the negotiations between the dragons and the sea serpents. You couldn't possibly bring every book in your library."
"Oh wow, that would be so useful though, if I could! I need to learn a spell to do that…"
Spike stretched a bit, smelling the ocean not too far from them. "Fluttershy, don't you know anything about gargoyles that could help us?" he asked, before Twilight got too carried away on her spell-learning tangent.
"Only a little," Fluttershy admitted, walking alongside him and Twilight.
"Probably more than us, though!" Apple Bloom said, trotting to catch up. "Could you teach us somethin'?"
"Oh, I don't know…" Fluttershy shuffled her wings self-consciously.
"No, that's a great idea!" Twilight said, turning her head brightly. "Come on, Fluttershy, go ahead and share what you know!"
Pinkie Pie, who was somehow still bouncing even after a full day of travel, chimed in. "Yeah, come on!" She gave an extra-enthusiastic bounce, landing next to Fluttershy.
"Well…if you really insist," Fluttershy said, taking a small sidestep so as to not be so close to the pink pony.
Rainbow Dash flew a bit lower to listen in, and Applejack and Scootaloo slowed down their trotting to be closer to the conversation as well.
"I'm afraid I don't know too much," Fluttershy said, "But I do know that gargoyles relate to rocks like dragons relate to fire. Gargoyles can breathe fire, too, just not nearly as well. Ever since Spike moved to town, I've learned that dragons enjoy eating gems in addition to collecting them. Since gargoyles are similar to dragons, I wouldn't be surprised if they ate rocks, given how much they seem to be tied to them. But that's just speculation, of course. I wouldn't presume to know that for certain."
She paused her mini-lecture, and Spike thought back to the gargoyle he'd first met. That one definitely was interested in eating more than rocks.
"Anything else?" Twilight asked, encouragingly.
Fluttershy shook her head, her mane hiding her face even more than usual, as if she was shrinking back from her own outburst of information. "I'm sorry, Twilight. That's all I know."
"Well, it's a heap of a lot more than what ah knew a minute ago," Applejack said. "Rocks, huh? That's somethin'."
"They like rocks, do they? Oh, I'll give them a rock," Rainbow Dash said. "Straight to the face!" She mimed chucking a boulder through the air, and Scootaloo obediently burst out in laughter.
"Yeah, that's right!" Scootaloo said.
Fluttershy winced. "I don't know if that's the best idea, Rainbow Dash…"
"Well, I think it's a great idea!" Pinkie Pie piped up. "I mean, if they come near my family's rock farm, I'll…I'll…well, I don't know what I'll do, but it won't be PRETTY!" She snorted and Spike had to hold back a giggle.
"Alright, girls, let's all calm down," Twilight said. "Besides, look! We're here!"
Rounding a bend, they finally arrived at the ocean. Everypony oohed and aahed. Spike gaped at the serene scene in front of him. He'd never seen anything quite like it before.
Waves washed gently up onto the sand. The lowering sun in the western sky made the beach twinkle a little, and the ocean itself completely dark. The ponies walked forward, their hooves sinking slightly in the sandy terrain. The evening breeze pulled at Spike's back, seeming to tug him towards the black ocean waters.
It just goes on forever. Wow. I mean…wow. But just as he was about to whistle at the sheer size of the sea in front of them, Apple Bloom screamed like he'd never heard her scream before.
Spike held on tight as Twilight jerked to the left. "What is—?" Twilight began to ask, but then let out her own horrified gasp. When Spike's eyes fell on what everypony was shrieking about, he clutched at his chest.
A ways down the beach, Sweetie Belle's tiny form lay motionless in the sand, surrounded by that of a huge purple serpent. The creature wasn't moving, either. Rarity was nowhere in sight.
"SWEETIE BELLE!" Scootaloo and Apple Bloom shouted, racing across the beach. Everypony else was quick to follow. Spike held onto Twilight's mane as she galloped, panic making his heart clench in his body.
Sweetie Belle! Oh no. No, no, no. She has to be okay. She has to be okay. Oh please, let her be okay!
Rainbow Dash got there first, with Fluttershy just behind. The two of them knelt down next to Sweetie Belle, feeling her head and neck.
"She's unconscious, but okay!" Rainbow said. "At least I think so!"
Twilight skidded to a halt next to the two pegasi and Spike leapt off her back, squeezing past Pinkie Pie to get close to the filly.
"Is she breathin'?!" Applejack asked, busting through them all.
"Oh my gosh, her tail!" Fluttershy gasped. "The poor dear!"
"Tail? What tail? I don't see any tail—oh! Oh my gosh!" Pinkie Pie threw her hooves over her mouth. "It's been completely burnt off!"
It really was burnt off. In fact, much of Sweetie Belle's hindquarters were burnt. Spike swallowed, looking around as Fluttershy and Twilight worked to dress the scorch marks on the little filly's flank.
"Do you think she's got her cutie mark under there?" Apple Bloom asked Scootaloo. The two huddled together, holding one another tight with tears in their eyes. Beyond them, the huge serpent no one seemed to care to mention lay, with his…mustache in the sand. Mustache?
"Rainbow Dash, do you see Rarity anywhere around here?" Spike asked, wondering if he was just hallucinating the facial hair from panic.
Rainbow Dash flew back up into the air and immediately zipped around several laps of the beach. She came back and landed, shaking her head sadly. "No luck," she said.
Spike slumped his shoulders. "Well…just because she's not here, doesn't mean she's not safe," he said out loud, more for himself than for anypony else there.
"Yeah…" Rainbow Dash trailed off, not looking Spike in the eye.
Spike wrapped his arms around himself, digging his claws into his scales. She's okay. Rarity has to be okay. She HAS to be. Wherever she is.
"Hey…we know him!" Pinkie said, interrupting Spike's thoughts and poking at the huge purple serpent.
"Oh wow, we do!" Twilight said, magically tilting his head towards them to get a look at his giant face. "It's the mustache guy from the Everfree Forest!"
Okay, so apparently I'm not hallucinating. How did a sea serpent get a mustache?! Aren't they supposed to be like dragons, but from the water? How is this fair?
"He's burnt, too, oh my goodness!" Fluttershy noticed, flying over to examine his back, which was blackened like Sweetie Belle's flank, and Spike retracted any thoughts of jealousy.
Next to him on the ground, something sparkly caught Spike's eye. He walked over and dug through the sand a bit to discover a golden platform-looking thing, with straps. "Hey, anypony know what this could be?"
Before anyone could answer, Sweetie Belle started to cough. Spike abandoned his discovery and raced back over to her side.
"Sweetie Belle!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.
"You okay?!" Scootaloo asked.
The filly fluttered her eyelashes open. "R-Rarity?"
"Not here, kiddo," Applejack apologized. "How're you feelin'?"
Sweetie Belle shot to her feet, falling almost as soon as she stood. Spike tried to reach for her, but he wasn't quite fast enough. Collapsing in the sand, the filly struggled to get back up.
"Rarity! No! Where am I?! Stef'an?!" She turned, getting assistance from Rainbow and Fluttershy to stand back on her hooves. Spike let the little filly lean up against him, putting an arm over her protectively. "Is he okay?" Sweetie Belle squeaked, trying to get over to the sea serpent. Spike held her back, not sure she should really be walking anywhere yet.
"We think so," Twilight said carefully. It was getting dark, so Twilight lit one of their traveling lanterns and hovered it overhead. "Sweetie Belle…what happened? Where's Rarity?"
Sweetie Belle turned to face the unicorn, the tears in her big eyes reflecting the lantern light. Then she said seven words that punched straight into Spike's gut.
"They took her! The dragons kidnapped Rarity!"
The first thing Rarity saw when she opened her eyes was the backside of a huge, red dragon. Her eyes slowly focused, and then she noticed the thick metal bars separating her and the beast.
Then she realized she was the one behind the bars.
Resisting the urge to bolt upright, Rarity took a long, quiet breath, and willed her mind to go back through the events she could remember leading up to her current predicament. The cold ground throbbed against her temple, which felt a little sticky. Blood, she supposed, shuddering at how badly her coat must be stained from it. The memories worked through her brain one at a time, and she winced involuntarily, recalling Sweetie Belle and Stef'an diving underwater. She could only hope Stef'an had gotten her baby sister to safety.
Rarity took another deep, quiet breath and lifted her head ever so slightly off the rocky floor of her prison cell. She was near the mouth of a cave—these reptilian types do love their caves, don't they? Rarity observed—and evening light poured in like a pale silk blanket. The red dragon stretched a bit, scratching at its side. Rarity wondered if it was meant to be her guard. If so, she felt a little surge of pride.
The dragon grunted and Rarity froze in place. She wasn't sure she should let on that she'd woken up. Maybe if they thought she was truly passed out, she could find a way to quietly escape…
"So you're up," the red dragon said. It turned its head over its shoulder to glance at her and Rarity held back a groan.
How did it know?
The dragon grinned slyly. "Never question a dragon's hearing."
Rarity nodded. Her legs remained folded up underneath her, and between her scrunched posture and the caked blood on her face, she couldn't remember a single time in her life when she's felt so completely vulnerable. The dragon shifted its shoulders, cracking its back.
"Rojo would've been upset if you'd died. Glad you pulled through."
Rarity narrowed her eyes. "Rojo was the one who hit me."
The dragon shrugged. "All the same." Then it turned to face back out the cave.
Rarity's mind raced. They wanted her as a hostage for one of their lost eggs—for Spike. But there was no way she was going to let them use her like that, so she simply had to come up with a plan to get out of here. She briefly entertained the notion of kicking up a fuss like she had done with the Diamond Dogs, but she doubted that simply being annoyed was going to be incentive enough for the dragons to give up their chance to regain a lost egg. Or rather…a lost Spike.
Oh, Spike! Oh no! You'd better not find out about this. Oh, that will not end well. Not well at all. Rarity pulled her hooves to her mouth, covering the gasp she wanted to let out. That noble little dearheart would trade himself in a minute for me! I cannot let that happen! Quick, Rarity…what else do you know about dragons? Greed…pride…
An idea hit. Perhaps not a terribly good idea, but it was an idea all the same.
"Excuse me," Rarity said gently, doing her best to keep the shakiness from her voice. She had to try something. "But I couldn't help but notice how your scales catch the setting sun so perfectly."
The dragon turned back to face her, staring at her shrewdly.
Rarity continued, her expression completely innocent. "Back home I'm known for my skills as a fashionista, and seeing as we have some time to pass, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing some scale-polishing tips with me? I simply must know what you use to create that luminous shine."
The dragon continued to stare at her, and Rarity wondered if she'd hedged the wrong bet. Perhaps not all dragons were as easily flattered as Spike and that ruffian that Fluttershy had rid Ponyville of ages ago.
But then the dragon buffed its claws up against its chest, and snorted out a bit of smoke. "Heat treatment," the dragon said. "Keeps the scales looking young."
"Oh, I see," Rarity said. "Intriguing! I'm Rarity, by the way." She climbed to her feet, a little woozily, and held out one hoof.
"Moxie," the dragon replied, using two claws to reach through the bars and shake her hoof. "And let me tell you, it's so nice to have someone finally notice my scales. It takes forever to cook them up to this level of shine, but does my mate ever comment on them? No. Typical male flyboy, he is. Cares more about showing off in front of the others than spending time with me and his egg. Then I get stuck on guard duty, to afford volcano-care for the baby."
Oh my…so it's a female! Rarity could run with this. Absolutely. "My word, that sounds awfully insensitive of him," she said. "Leaving a lady such as yourself to do all the work."
"I know!" Moxie replied. She heaved her massive body further into the cave and plopped down next to Rarity's cell. "And you wouldn't believe what he said last week when I asked him to spend one day in to egg-sit."
"What did he say?" Rarity asked, sidling up next to Moxie. "Tell me everything, dear."
If she played her cards right, Rarity held a small hope she could yet get away before Spike learned of any of this.
After Sweetie Belle had finished explaining what had happened, Twilight asked Spike to write a letter to Princess Celestia. His handwriting had never been shakier, ever since the day he'd first learned how to hold a quill. All the while, writing out the details of the missing dragon eggs and the broken treaty, Spike could only think about Rarity. He had to do something. He had to find her! He couldn't let the dragons hurt her.
Spike sent the letter with a whoosh of his green flame, and sat back on the sand, watching the stars begin to come out. Three stars near each other twinkled especially bright, and Rarity's cutie mark surfaced in Spike's mind. He put his head in his hands and shook.
Somehow…I'll save you…I will…
"And uh…by the way, Spike?" Sweetie Belle asked, interrupting his thoughts.
"Yeah?" Spike asked. A wave crashed up against the shore, almost reaching his feet in the sand. He scooted back a ways to join the others, who sat around the unconscious form of the sea serpent.
"Well…I don't know how exactly to put this…" the filly continued. "But…the whole dragon egg thing…we kind of think that maybe you—"
"Please," a voice said from behind them, cutting off Sweetie Belle's confusing rambles. "Let me explain."
Spike scrambled in the sand, spinning around. That voice—that's—!
"Princess Luna!" Twilight exclaimed.
Spike's eyes were wide, watching as the alicorn landed on the beach. Everypony bowed, and Spike did as well, even as he had to scoot even farther up the sand to escape the incoming tide.
"Not now, really, it's alright," the princess said, walking forwards towards them. "Please. Stand."
Slowly, each pony got back on their feet.
"What are you doing here, Princess?" Twilight asked. "Is everything alright?"
"I'm afraid everything is not alright." The princess's face was grim. In the dark of the evening, her very body seemed to melt into the sky above her, leaving just her stony, serious eyes to look at each of them in turn. "I bring terrible news. Gargoyles have invaded Equestria."
"Oh my!" Fluttershy gasped and Pinkie Pie leapt backwards in shock.
"We've got to go help!" Rainbow Dash immediately flew up into the air.
"Wait!" Princess Luna held out a hoof. Her tone was so commanding that it stopped Rainbow Dash mid-flap and Pinkie Pie mid-bounce. "We just received your letter telling us what has come of Rarity's peace negotiations. I had to come at once. There is much that needs to be attended to, and much I need to personally…er…come clean about."
"Princess?" Twilight took a tentative step forward. A cool night breeze pushed her mane across her forehead.
But Princess Luna didn't look at Twilight. Instead, she turned her attention to Spike. "Spike…young dragon associate of Twilight Sparkle. Friend of the Equestrian Royal House. I am sorry for not telling you sooner." She dipped her head, almost shamefully, and Spike was at a loss as to where this was going.
Sweetie Belle, however, gave her two filly friends a look. Based on her expression, and on what Sweetie Belle had been trying to say moments before, Spike began to formulate a seemingly impossible idea. Hold on…stolen dragon eggs…sold to a pony many centuries ago…
"It was a different time," Princess Luna continued. "And I was a different pony. Or rather, I wanted to be. I let jealousy guide my hoof, and it's only since I've reawoken that I realized who you were, Spike."
"So you were the pony that traded with the sea serpents?" Spike asked, putting the pieces into place. The sea continued to slosh, creeping up towards his feet, like the sensation inside him crept up towards his heart.
Luna nodded, looking at him with great significance. "Yes."
Spike swallowed. Everypony was watching him now. Twilight had eyes the size of the full moon that had just begun to rise over the ocean. "And that would make me…" Spike trailed off, wringing his little clawed hands together.
"Yes, Spike," Princess Luna confirmed. "Your egg was taken from the dragons over two thousand years ago. You are what the dragons are looking for."
Wow. Didn't take long for Rarity's plan to fail. Also, insert Shrek reference "And you know something, you're...A girl dragon... Oh, sure, I mean of COURSE you're a girl dragon! You're just reeking of feminine beauty!"
Edit: Wow, the post before the second post. Never done that before. Still not going to say the word for it.
I only need one part of my seat while reading this... the edge!
This great chapter to a fantastic story, can not wait to see what happened next.
DUN-DUN-DUHM
my gosh, why had to end here...
Oh, gosh, what a cliffhanger! My heart is beating fast, because the dragons have Rarity, and Spike is with the Mane Six and the CMC, which means this might lead to a bargain or trade sort of. Now I think it is time to put the bond of friendship to the test.
Damn, Rarity was getting of to such a good start. But indeed, Spike already knows. As Luna came to them immediately... and now the gargoyles attack Equestira, just as they have stuck against dragons... I wonder what THERE motivation is.
OVER 2,000 years ago!?!??!!!!
Here's Spike wondering if he's even a real dragon.
"Hey Spike, guess what. Not only are you a dragon. But you're an ancient super-powerful-magical dragon and could very possibly be a weapon to save your whole race."
Ah, females. Somethings don't change across sapient species.
If only I could thumbs-up this more than once...
And all the gears start moving. Too bad I have a feeling their about to clash into a giant mess.
Excellent chapter as usual. Man, that dragonesses mate is a jerk.
2658100 Ya beat me to it! I guess great minds do think alike, ha!
Sorry Mr. Author, sir...or Ms. Author, ma'am didn't mean to hijack your comments. Please, continue writing AWESOMENESS!!!
And the bomb drops! One of my favorite parts in Spike-centric stories is the point at which his friends start to view him differently. We have reach that point now.
But what annoys me is the idea of sentient races whose genders can't be determined at first glance. This is one of the reasons I'm such a big fan of QueenCold on DA, because her female dragons are clearly and distinctly female.
It's always nice when a story updates right after I was thinking about it.
I cracked up at Spike's mustache envy. And Rarity's conversation with the dragon guarding her prison cell was hilarious too. Also, Rarity's surprise at realizing the dragon was female fits perfectly with something I've thought of before. What if the ponies know so little about dragons that Spike is actually female, and they just don't realize it? Not hugely plausible once you start to actually think about it, but it could still make for an amusing joke.
I wonder what the dragons and the sea serpents would think of Spike and Rarity's ill-defined relationship with each other. I get the feeling neither group would look too favorably upon Rarity kinda sorta having feelings for a little dragon, probably for different reasons, but I could be wrong on either side.
2658304 You enjoy being shocked about details that were known a chapter or two earlier, don't you? I just saw you make a similar comment in the latest chapter of Reconstruction Site. I couldn't decide either time if you were genuinely surprised, or just being silly, but it amused me either way.
2659143 My view of dragons is fueled by my biology background. Reptiles are generally indistinguishable between the sexes. It actually really annoys me when people take creatures like reptiles and give them "curves" and such to show off the female/male differences. That just...isn't biologically realistic. *Twilight nerd-face* But I can see why you might be tired of seeing that in storylines! Thank you for reading anyway.
2659269 BAHAHA I did not even think of Spike possibly being a girl all along. I'd assume he'd...know? Right? The idea would make for a fantastic fanfic, though.
2659419 Well, we shouldn't be able to see the difference between mares and stallions either. QueenCold doesn't give them exaggerated curves so much as she gives them normal feminine characteristics. Slender body shape, softer eyes, etc.
2659419
Well, you'd certainly think so, buuut...well, how many other sets of dragon equipment has Spike ever seen for comparison? Or male ponies, for that matter. Could also just assume dragons are geared differently than ponies, or never even thought about it to begin with. Ponies have always called Spike a male, so he assumed they knew what they were talking about.
This is getting good. keep going.
Pinkie Pie: "OMGOSH! We owe you, like, 2000 birthday parties! Right now!"
You could say Luna was...hatching a plan. Or that she was the one that laid the foundations of this story. Eh? Eh?
I think I'll stop now.
2659935 One Pinkie =200 birthday parties.
(for visualness ;P)
There's still much to be uncovered/explained I think, but I'm glad we've now got the reveal of Spike truly being one of those eggs.I like your idea for the dragons, but I would hope they at least sound different... but maybe it's like any other animal, you have to listen for a while to recognize the difference between the voices.
These Gargoyles seem very war obsessed. Why would they invade Equestria in the first place is beyond me. They should strategically, first finish off the dragons with the inadvertent aid of the Sea Serpents and Equestrians. Then go after the other two.
2659935
Yeah, that's probably a good idea.
2659935 I think you've gotten it eggsactly right!
Nightmare Moon's plan was likely meant to be eggsecuted 1000 years ago, but before she could do more than get the shell of her scheme into place, Celestia cracked it and blasted her with the Elements.
After all that time in the moon and second harmony blast, Luna's thoughts were so scrambled she only remembers her plan now.
Two thousands years, that means......
I can date Rarity!!!
We know...
CALLED IT!!!
2664111 no...the egg puns...stop, please...
2673205 Ok, I'll go over-easy on you from now on. I can see you've been deviled enough by those pesky egg puns.
2673268 two can play at that game...
id crack a few jokes, but something tells me that they'd stink like rotten eggs. eggcellence is overrated anyway. some might say im chickening out, but if I played your game, id resort to fowl play. and im a good egg.
I hope youre not hatching a comeback right now; id get all eggcited, and I'd proceed to poach you where you stood. id normally eggsplain more about my eggsperiences with puns here, but they wouldn't be over easy; nay, theyd sound rather hard boiled upon reading. so before my laptop eggspires, lemme just say that the easter bunny would like to have his jokes back. stop it with the puns!
2589213 hey! did the site eat the notification I should have gotten for this?
ill try to keep those thoughts in mind. I can tell im going to have to spend a lot more time in the comments sections of stories than I thought...
2592305 statement of fact...although, it could be a compliment as well, I suppose!
2582687 ...well...ah... you win. cant argue dat logic.
2580538 ...but...I like spinach...
2673977 Everything is proceeding eggsactly according to my designs...
2679815
2679987 The yolk's on you! Hyuk hyuk hyuk!
I'm liking this story a lot! Rarity asking everyone if Spike is jailbait is a little...odd, but otherwise it's aces. You've got a good mix of action and politics, and I feel Spike and Rarity's relationship is well-drawn. I'm excited to see where it goes next! Thanks for writing.
Rarity immediately managing to connect with Moxie was utterly perfect.
Now it seems things are getting very serious. More than ever before, I eagerly wait for more! (That rhymed! :D)
Why? Why can I only give one thumb's up?!
So... Luna screw it up... again. For a ancient being, she got some serious issues.
3142456
Just because you're ancient, doesn't mean you can't screw up royally.
Rarity's locked in a cell, bloody and in a decidedly terrible situation... and she hits off some 'girl talk' with her ginormous guard. This amuses me a lot more than it should. Guess I'm finally really getting into the style of this thing.
Damn, Luna got there quick! I always wondered if she didn't have some sort of 'transport my moonlight' trick. Still, Best Pony is here: I expect things to get a lot clearer very quickly.
Gargoyles invaded. Who called it? That's right.
Ooooh, so Luna did it. That would explain Celestia's ignorance. I'm eager to get the full story here, and determine if it was Luna or Nightmare Moon who was responsible (I'm guessing the latter). And, given Luna is Princess of the Night, perhaps we will finally figure out why the heck Twilight's having to slog her way through star charts.
Twilight, you're already OP as it is. Shush now.
Obediently...? Like, she's expected to? Odd work choice but... "predictably" might work better, or even just dropping it altogether. Just reads kinda weird as is.
Neither will this if you don't shrink and italicise it.
Little fillies should have little words. As above.
?!That's... That's what you're worried about? Are you serious?
"But, Cerulean, what do I do when I want to put emphasis on a word inside thoughts, if using CAPS is considered sloppy?"
"Well, you see, Author, all you have to do is write it in non-italics, so it stands out from the italics. Simple."
?!Will be... as soon as you... lose that... interrobang.
Ew, that use of "apologized." Sorry, kiddo—she ain't here." Applejack shook her head. "How ya feelin'?"
?!?!You've got the right idea there with dash usage. All I'd fix is losing the "Rarity observed" since you really don't need it.
she'd*
Rarity, you so clever. You might get out of this yet. I love how this feels like something that might happen on the show.
Okay. You've identified her as Princess Luna now. No need to remind us that she's a princess or an alicorn. Just Luna is fine, or if they're addressing her, "Princess."
For a short chapter, a fair amount happened in here. I do like Rarity's attempt at wooing her kidnapper, realising she was female, and then trying to bond over girl talk. Heh, that actually reminds me of Donkey from Shrek trying (and succeeding) to woo his own dragon captor. But Poor Sweetie without a tail... and when will Stef'an wake up?
I'd like to say that as the chapters have gone by, although I'm still noticing many of the same issues plaguing your works (only because there's no way you could have started making fixes if you're going to at all), the writing is becoming far more solid. The iffy method of 3pO earlier in the story has been utilised to greater effect in later chapters, so it doesn't just feel like head-hopping now. I want to see what goes on, and how Luna is involved.
You could try asking Doctor Hooves how he makes his TARDIS bigger on the inside.
5802678
he dose it by overlapping relative dimensions from a 4D plane to a 3D plane. It's quite simple really.