Chapter 13
By this point, Rarity could hardly consider herself surprised, really. Instead of being flown away from the dragon shoreline territory, Rarity found herself heading back towards her formal cell.
"Hey!" Rarity yelled. Her voice was back, and she was going to use it. "Excuse me, but whatever happened to setting me free?"
"Eh, we're keeping you for a little longer," the guard holding her said. "Just in case."
"Spike isn't going to like this," Rarity cautioned.
"We'll take our chances," the guard replied.
Rarity winced as the dragon shifted her in his claws, scraping the harness against her side. Of course she wasn't being set free. They were hedging their bets. She'd be more upset, save that she could see the logic in their plan.
Not that she approved of it.
Spike… She could hear his roars from here, echoing over the ocean. She knew he was changing, and she knew there was nothing she could do about it. Please be safe, Spike. Please. Rarity dropped her head and let a tear fall into the ocean below.
With it, she gaped in horror, slid the scroll from Princess Celestia.
"No!" she gasped. "Quick, catch it!"
"Catch what?" the guard asked.
The scroll hit the water. "Nevermind," Rarity whispered. She heard another roar from Spike, and her anguish squeezed her chest tighter than even the grip of the dragon carrying her.
Pull yourself together. You need to warn them about the meteors.
"Listen," she began. She couldn't reach her eyes to wipe them, so she just focused on blinking rapidly. She had to get this information across, even if she wouldn't be able to get to Twilight herself. "By midnight tomorrow night, a huge meteor storm is coming. The gargoyles are going to absorb the space rocks to gain extreme power. We have to stop that from happening. A dear friend of mine is meant to help use her unicorn magic to deflect the meteors, but she doesn't know that she's been given this task. Can you or one of your dragon friends please pass this message along to her? And please let your leaders know that this threat is coming?"
"We already know about the meteor storm," the dragon said. "It's in the prophecy."
"Prophecy?!" Rarity exclaimed.
"Yes," the dragon explained. "It's been around for centuries. The gargoyles will make a bid for power when the sky raineth stone…the ancient one will summon victory…diamond in the rough…yadda yadda yadda…something archaic like that. Have you ponies never heard it?"
"No we have not," Rarity huffed. "Did none of your kind think this would be good information to, oh, I don't know, share?"
"Guess it was need-to-know basis, then."
Rarity didn't know whether she should be angry or furious, but then they arrived back at her original cell and she realized she didn't have time for either. Several cliff birds flew away in a flutter as the dragon landed.
This was her one chance.
Mustering her strength, Rarity kicked at the dragon's side as hard as she could as soon as the guard released her from his claws, but her kick was dodged easily. The harness weighed down on her, and she nearly fell once again. One kick was clearly all she was going to get, thanks to the energy-draining properties of the rusting magical contraption.
"Oh…" she put a hoof to her head, feeling faint.
Then, Rarity was nudged through the door, and it shut behind her with an ear-ringing creak. She choked back a cry of injustice.
"Nice try," the guard said, locking the door.
"Please," Rarity begged. Her legs couldn't take it any longer and folded under her body. "At least tell my friend Twilight Sparkle that she needs to help Princess Celestia and Princess Luna deflect the meteors. Please. I got the message meant for her by mistake, and now—"
"Relax," the guard said. Another roar sounded in the distance, and he grinned. "I think we got this gargoyle thing covered."
Rarity listened as Spike's roars became louder and bolder by the moment, and she narrowed her eyes, seething.
That. Was. It.
Someway, somehow, she was getting back to Spike.
She was going to get Princess Celestia's message to Twilight.
She was going to stop this whole mess without Spike taking the brunt of the battle onto himself.
At least, she was going to do all of that as soon as she figured out how to escape this harness and her cell.
The guard checked her cell's lock one more time, and then sat down in front of it, leaning his huge dragon head against the rocky cave entrance. Rarity looked to the back of her cell… Yes!
Her boulder was still there, jammed between the bars. It wasn't pushed wide enough yet to have her fit, but it wouldn't take much magic more to get it to that point.
From the cave floor, Rarity put her full concentration into getting her horn to work again.
Come on, horn.
Sweat began to form on the side of her face.
Just a little bit of magic, please.
Rarity dug her front hooves into the floor.
Do it for Spike.
She bit her lip, shutting her eyes and grasping to pinch the last shred of magic she could feel in her, pulling it forward.
COME…ON…!
Rarity blinked her eyes open. It was dark out again. The firelight of her cell bounced her shadow along the ground in front of her, and her eyes drifted up towards the boulder and the cell bars.
They were exactly like she'd last seen them. She must have passed out from the effort.
Rarity let out a frustrated scream, kicking all four legs as she lay on the floor.
It wasn't fair. How could this be happening?
Tears stung the corners of her eyes. She was just about out of hope. With no magic, no strength, and no way to get to Spike, Rarity couldn't see a way that any of this would end well at all.
There was nothing left she could do.
"Rarity, you awake now?" a voice called from the cave entrance.
Rarity's head sprung up. "Moxie?!"
"Shh, keep it down," Moxie said, easing her way into the cave.
Rarity's heart swelled at the familiar red form. "Moxie, they let you be my guard again!" Rarity exclaimed, but then Rojo's words crashed back into her, and she recoiled away from the dragon. "But how could you tell Rojo my feelings for Spike? How could you betray me like that?"
Moxie hung her head. "I'm sorry about that," she said. Her big dragon eyes had large circles underneath them, and her scales, instead of their usual polished appearance, were covered in dust. "I'd meant for him to see that you were not suitable for Spike to hoard because of the nature of your feelings towards one another. I thought if he understood that you two wished to be life-mates, he would reconsider his capture of you and set you free."
Rarity gave Moxie the stare-down. "Whoever said I wished to be Spike's life-mate?" she asked. "That's being a little presumptuous, is it not?"
"You don't wish to be Spike's life-mate?" Moxie stared back at her. "Really?"
Rarity's mouth went dry. "Well…that's entirely beside the point right now!" She frowned. "You told Rojo about how I felt, how Spike felt, and now look at us! He's been turned into a huge beast, and I'm still trapped here!"
"Not for long," Moxie said. She jangled a set of keys.
Rarity's jaw dropped open. "Moxie…"
"We have to move fast," Moxie said, working to unlock the door. "I'd wait until you finished moving that big boulder through the bars, but we don't have time." She winked at Rarity and Rarity continued to gape at her.
"How long have you known I'd been—"
"Since the moment you started that little project, dear," Moxie grinned. "Now hurry. Your guard thinks I'm just relieving him so he can have a snack break. He could be back at any time."
Rarity forced herself up and stumbled forward, wincing at each tweak in her back from the harness. As soon as she was within Moxie's grip, the dragon pulled her out of the cell, shoved a key into the rusting padlock, and yanked the harness off of Rarity.
The effect was instantaneous. A shudder of power shimmered straight through Rarity, and her eyes glistened with renewed strength. She trotted in several quick circles, leaping into the air more than once, as if channeling Pinkie Pie.
"Oh my, you have no idea how good it feels to get that thing off!" Rarity exclaimed. She used her magic to levitate several rocks around her, spinning them in the air like a little rock ballet. She looked at Moxie. "But I still don't understand why you're doing this. Not that I don't appreciate it."
Moxie looked at her gravely. "Because it isn't right what they're doing to you and your life-mate. He's…well, he's heading to battle as we speak. They told him you'd been captured by gargoyles after they'd set you free. I've never seen a dragon so angry in all my life. Or so gigantic, for that matter. He really is a spectacle to behold."
Rarity's hooves went cold and she dropped the rocks she'd been levitating. "They told him what?" she gasped. "Oh, I'll get that Rojo, if it's the last thing I do!"
"Revenge, later; stopping your life-mate from being turned into gargoyle-jelly, now," Moxie said, flying up into the air and offering one giant foot towards her. "You coming?"
"You bet I am!" Rarity seethed. This time when claws closed in around her, Rarity welcomed their presence. Spike turning huge and being used against the gargoyles like some sort of weapon was one thing, but being used because of the false belief that she was in danger took it to an entirely new level of ruthlessness.
The dragons didn't care about Spike. That much was obvious. He was just a tool to them. A means to an end. And she feared they wouldn't hesitate to use that tool until it was completely worn down.
They took off flying into the night, and Rarity looked back at the cliffside. A ways up, she could see where Spike's cell once had been. All that was left of it was a dark, gaping hole where the cave had been. It was like an explosion had occurred.
"Did he really do that?" Rarity whispered.
Moxie, with her exceptional hearing, nodded. "Yeah. Told you. He's huge."
Rarity grimaced as they flew past the destruction, on towards the mainland. The ruined cliffside gave her some pause. As angry as she was about his forced situation, maybe Spike wasn't going to need her help as much as she'd thought. It wasn't like Spike was heading into battle completely helpless...
The more she thought about it, the more her responsibility to pass on Princess Celestia's message preyed on her mind. She had less than twenty-four hours to inform Twilight of the princess's plan. Was going after Spike really the priority right now? Her gut told her yes, but some part of her had to acknowledge how much easier fighting gargoyles would be for Spike if Twilight stopped their access to the meteors.
Rarity's internal debate was then interrupted. Over the cliffs and farther inland, she finally saw the first signs of battle. And she couldn't help but gasp in horror.
Past the volcanoes lining the shore, gargoyles and dragons clashed. From this view, they were no bigger than flies, but Rarity knew that up close, the battle must verge on sickening to watch. In the dark of the night, it was only the illuminating effects of dragon breath that allowed her to see any of the fighting at all. But there was no shortage of that light source. There wasn't a moment that'd pass without a fire blast from at least one dragon, and gargoyles flung rocks just as rapidly. The huge beasts crashed into each other time and time again. As she watched, one of the flying reptiles tumbled out of the sky, crashing into the ground with a puff of smoke.
Rarity swallowed. Somewhere amongst all of that, Spike fought for her. She could feel her heart practically explode inside her chest.
"Moxie…" she croaked. It was decision time. "Moxie, I think we have to go back. We need to find the sea serpents. I need to pass on a very important message to my friend Twilight, and last I heard she was with them."
"But what about your life-mate?" Moxie asked, flapping twice and leaning upright to slow them down. "Don't you need to get to him?"
"You yourself said how gigantic he's grown. He'll be alright for a little while longer," Rarity said. I hope. Then she realized she'd replied without argument about Spike's relation to her, and blushed a little. Oh, pish-posh. It's just that there's no time right now to nitpick about such things.
"Well, if that's what needs to be done," Moxie said, turning in mid-air.
"Thank you," Rarity said. It is what needs to be done, right? The decision left her feeling terribly uncomfortable. But it was made. They began flying back towards the ocean…
…And then, the gargoyle struck.
With a horrid screech, the beast smashed into Moxie, nearly knocking her out of the sky. Rarity screamed, coming loose in the dragon's grip, before Moxie tightened her claws once more and answered the attack with a ferocious fire blast.
The gargoyle fled in the direction of the coast, Moxie in fiery pursuit.
"Get it!" Rarity shouted, fury coursing through her. That sneak! How dare he? "Show that despicable creature who's boss!"
Bolstered by Rarity's rallying cry, Moxie flew even faster. The gargoyle continued to retreat, turning south once it reached the water. Moxie shot one last blaze of flame after it and then snorted.
"Pathetic," Moxie said.
But when the smoke from her snort cleared, Rarity spied where the gargoyle had disappeared off to.
Down the coastline, a different battle raged than the one they'd seen inland. Instead of gargoyles versus dragons, it was gargoyles versus sea serpents. And if she squinted, Rarity was almost positive she could see Applejack lassoing one of the skinny reptiles onto the beach.
Applejack?! "Moxie, there!" Rarity pointed with one hoof.
"I see it," Moxie said. "Looks like we've found your sea serpents."
The dragon took in a huge breath of air, then flattened her wings in a spiraling dive towards the battle. Rarity squealed at the unexpected speed, but she soon discovered its purpose. As they flew down the beach, gargoyles began turning to attack the incoming dragon. But with the speed she'd built and the spiral maneuvering, Moxie dodged each of them—though some were a closer call than others.
Rarity bit at her lower lip, her face pulled taut as she tried not to shriek in terror. Held in Moxie's claws, she could do nothing to help as they flew into the worst of the fighting. A huge boulder nearly slammed into Moxie's side, and Rarity had to recoil in her claws to avoid getting hit. Rocks sailed back and forth, littering the sky and occasionally even smashing into each other.
Then, there was the water. This wasn't like any little splash fight Rarity's sister and her friends might partake in—no, this was water gushing with enough force to bruise, to tear, to destroy.
Moxie must've realized that, because she very quickly landed in the sand before getting too close to the sea serpents' blasts, dropping Rarity to the ground. She shut her giant dragon eyes—sand pierced the air around them—and Rarity had to cover her own eyes, too. The gargoyles were clearly using what the beach offered them in their attacks. Moxie threw out a wing to shield Rarity, and then a massive wave washed over them, drenching the sand particles straight out of the sky.
"NOW!" Rarity heard some serpent yell.
Moxie kept her wing over Rarity, but Rarity could hear the whoosh of water. The first wave must've just been a precursor. This one was the real deal.
Through the silhouetted images Moxie's thin wings provided, Rarity watched the gargoyles get blasted away in one absolutely gigantic rush of water, like a wall rising straight through the air. Moxie shuddered as the water crashed back down over them, but luckily the worst of it landed on the sea behind them. When the dragon finally pulled her wing back, the gargoyles were all flying away.
"We got 'em on the run! Come on!" Rarity heard a familiar voice yell. She turned, her mouth dropping open.
In the darkness of the late, late night, Applejack raced up the seashore. She led a charge of serpents behind her, swimming just off the shoreline and shooting gushes of water at the retreating gargoyles.
"Woooeee! That's a sight ah'll never get tired of—wimpy gargoyle backsides! They're runnin' with their tails between their legs!" Applejack cheered.
Rarity's jaw refused to reattach to her face. The sea serpents cheered with the Earth pony, and Moxie gave Rarity a nudge forward.
"Isn't that the friend you need to find? Go to her," Moxie said.
Rarity's hooves sank in the wet sand, still processing what she was watching. Just down the beach, Applejack leapt into the air, giving a head-butt to each sea serpent in turn. The sea serpents ran their fingers through their flowing hair after knocking craniums with the pony. They looked even more egotistical than they'd been back at the council she and Sweetie Belle had been at.
"That's not Twilight," Rarity finally managed to say. "That's my friend, Applejack. But she may know where Twilight is."
One of the sea serpents looked up the beach towards them, finally noticing the uninvited duo. "Hey, what's a dragon doing here?" the serpent asked.
"It's with the Generous One!" another exclaimed, throwing his skinny hands to his face.
Applejack spun, and it was her turn to have her jaw drop. "Rarity!"
Rarity let out an emotional laugh. Applejack raced towards her, kicking up wet sand as she ran. Rarity began to run as well. The two friends reunited, embracing and clinging to each other tight. Applejack's hat fell to the ground behind her as she and Rarity held onto one another, not letting go.
"Ah was beginnin' to worry we'd never see you again!" Applejack exclaimed.
"And I was afraid of never seeing any of you again!" Rarity cried. It felt unbelievably good to see one of her dearest friends once more. Rarity knew there were tears in her eyes, but did nothing to stop them.
They hugged for another moment, and then finally released one another. "So they let you go? When Spike traded himself in for yeh?" Applejack asked, picking up her hat.
Rarity looked up at Moxie, who had joined her by her side. "Not exactly, but that's besides the point right now." She turned back to Applejack. They could catch up later—she had a message to deliver. "Do you know where Twilight is?"
Applejack gestured inland. "Somewhere at that dragon battle. She'd gone after Spike when she saw him with the other dragons, flying into the thick of things."
Rarity blinked. "Flying?"
Applejack nodded. "Who knew, right? And Rarity… Ah've never seen Spike like this before. He's much larger than from his Ponyville stampede. Ah don't know how he did it, but he was easily twice again as big as any of the other dragons."
Rarity's insides crumpled. "He thinks the gargoyles kidnapped me," she explained.
Applejack's eyes widened in understanding. "That might do it."
"I have to get to him, but first I have to find Twilight." Rarity sighed. "Moxie, I'm sorry, I guess we should've gone straight to the battle. My friend must be there, after all."
Moxie scratched one arm awkwardly, and didn't reply. Rarity felt like a huge mooch for asking for another ride back, but she didn't see another way around it. She opened her mouth to pose the awkward question, but then paused.
Nearly a dozen sea serpents had leaned in from the water, staring at her in a sweeping semi-circle configuration.
"Can I help you?" Rarity asked, looking into their giant, mustachioed faces.
A green one nodded. "We were just wondering what the Generous One was doing with the likes of her." The serpent gestured at Moxie.
Rarity bristled. "What I'm doing with—well, really! Moxie is a dear, dear friend!"
The sea serpents all looked at each other, with varying expressions of disbelief.
"Really? That brutish dolt?" the green one asked.
"Hey now," Applejack said. "Let's all stay civil here, okay?"
"Easy enough for us." Another of the serpents snickered. "Better get rid of that prehistoric beast if you're looking for civil, though."
Rarity's eyes hardened. "Wouldn't your time be better spent rallying to prepare for your next battle, rather than insulting my companion?" she asked the serpents through gritted teeth.
"What next battle? We chased off the gargoyles already. The ocean is safe," a sea serpent answered, smoothing its flowing black hair.
"But…" Rarity's eyebrows knit together. "The war isn't won yet. You have to swim upriver, and go inland to help the dragons!"
At that, the sea serpents all broke out in laughter.
Applejack took her hat off, appalled. "Well of course that's what we need to do!"
They just laughed harder.
"Come on, troops! We can't just leave them without any help!" Applejack said.
But the sea serpents brushed off each of her attempts to listen to reason, laughing and cracking jokes amongst themselves. As the dragon insults piled higher, Moxie took more and more steps away from the beach.
It was official. Rarity's patience had run out.
She narrowed her eyes. Screw diplomacy. "Oh, that is it!" she exclaimed, stomping a hoof in the sand. "You lot listen here! There is a war going on! Creatures of all sizes and all backgrounds are dying as we speak! You think you'll be safe just because you chased a few gargoyles away from the ocean? That the gargoyles won't finish their battle with the dragons and come back for you? And here I thought I was dealing with a noble race of beautiful, majestic serpents. But you're nothing more than a squabbling herd of snobbish sea snakes!"
The sea serpents had fallen silent by that point, all staring wide-eyed at the unicorn. Their eyes glistened in the last of the moonlight.
"Well, your pettiness will be your undoing!" Rarity continued. "Either you step up and do the honorable and decent thing, or you can forget ponies ever having an ounce of respect for you or your hair ever again!"
There were several gasps from the dark water. The swimming sea serpents each threw arms around one another at the very suggestion. Waves lapped up at Rarity's feet as the tide moved in, but she held her ground. Applejack's eyes grew positively enormous, and she gawked at Rarity like she was seeing her for the first time.
"Is that what you really think?" a voice asked from amongst the serpents.
Rarity tilted her head up, doing her best to look down her nose at the gigantic creatures. "Yes. That is what I think."
Queen Ili'ana swam forward from the gaggle of serpents. They parted as she neared the end of the surf. Rarity held back the urge to bow. The queen didn't deserve one right now. Rarity was just so sick of all this fighting, all this division…couldn't the sea serpents and dragons see what they had in common? Couldn't they unite against a common enemy? Was that really impossible for them?
The sea serpent queen regarded Rarity for a moment. Then, she nodded.
Rarity blinked.
"You have a point, Generous One," Queen Ili'ana said. "We are acting cowardly. Perhaps it is time to set aside our differences and assist our cousins in their fight."
Next to her, Applejack let out an audible breath of relief. Rarity could hardly believe it, but Queen Ili'ana's solemn nod confirmed it. Somehow, against all odds, she'd done it. The sea serpents were going to help the dragons.
A smile broke over Rarity's face and turned to find Moxie, but the dragon wasn't anywhere nearby. Where…? It took her a moment, but she did finally locate her red scaly friend off to the edge of the beach, near the rocky cliffs.
"Then we're gonna have to regroup and think through a plan," Applejack was saying to Queen Ili'ana from Rarity's side. "Using the rivers, we won't be able to make a full frontal attack like this last time. We'll be single file ridin' up into battle."
Rarity left Applejack and the queen to hash out their plan, and instead trotted over to Moxie. The night air was slowly lifting, as a few rays of sunshine began creeping over the horizon.
"Is everything okay?" Rarity asked. "I'm so sorry they treated you like they did. They had no right to say those things."
Moxie held onto the edge of the cliffside, her claws digging into the rock. "No, they didn't. But that's not why I'm over here."
"It's not?" Rarity asked.
Moxie shook her massive head. "No. Rarity, I'm sorry. I hate to say this, but I'm afraid I can't spend any more time helping you. I have to leave."
Leave? Why? While Rarity waited for Moxie to explain further, her brain already started thinking up what she'd need to do to get to the battle without Moxie's assistance. Maybe I can catch a ride with the sea serpent army…
"I wish I could do more, but I must see to my own life-mate," Moxie continued. "He was wounded in battle yesterday, and is at the healing grounds. They have such a large number of injured at the moment, he might get overlooked, and I need to make sure his hurt wings are properly covered by the volcanic soil."
Rarity tore her mind away from planning and looked up at her friend. "Oh, Moxie! That's awful news! I'm so sorry to hear that. What happened?"
Moxie actually began to tremble with emotion. The rock she clung to had several pebbles slide off of it to the ground. "He was defending the nesting grounds. Protecting our egg from a gargoyle raid. And they swarmed him."
"Oh my." Rarity put a hoof to her mouth.
"And to think I ever doubted him," Moxie continued, hanging her head.
"No," Rarity said, stepping forward. "You can't think like that, darling. What's important is that you'll be there for him now." And to think, she'd come to rescue me when her love was in such condition!
Moxie extended her wings, flapping them once. "You're right. Again. Who knew I'd ever be getting advice from a pony like this? I'm glad I got you out of that cell. You're a true friend."
Rarity smiled, in spite of the general situation. "You're the true friend, Moxie. Go be with your life-mate. And tell him he's incredibly lucky to have you in his life. I certainly know I am."
Moxie smiled down at Rarity. "Thank you. Best of luck."
"You, too," Rarity said.
Then, Moxie shoved off the cliffside and flew back out over the water, into the rising sun.
Traveling by river wasn't nearly as slow as Rarity had feared it would be. She'd forgotten the intense speed at which sea serpents could travel when they needed to.
She and Applejack sat on the back of Queen Ili'ana herself, on a makeshift raft made from a few beach logs. Sun beat down on them for most the morning, but the clouds had begun to roll in part-way through the day. During their travel, Rarity filled Applejack in on her imprisonment, and Applejack explained what she'd been up to ever since Spike turned himself in.
By noon, the air around them became noticeably warmer, and Rarity knew they must be close to the battlegrounds. It wasn't just the volcanic environment giving off heat, though. With every moment they moved upriver, they drew closer to the fire-breathing dragons in the distance. Just like the night before, the battle raged on in the sky, with rocks and fire blasts shooting back and forth. But this time, they were close enough for Rarity to begin making out some of the more horrific gritty details.
The entire sea serpent army was headed straight into the thick of things. That was the plan. The sea serpents would need the river as a water source, and it unfortunately ran straight through the battle. Rarity felt momentarily guilty, as they moved past a few stray bodies of charred gargoyles. If any serpents were harmed, she knew she'd be partially responsible. She was the one who talked them into this, after all.
"Hey!" a dragon shouted from the sky, at the battle's edge. Beyond him, Rarity could now tell that the majority of the flying creatures filling the sky were gargoyles. They were like flies, and the dragons were clearly extremely outnumbered. "What are you—" He flew down, gawking. "You!"
"You!" Rarity gasped, staring at the yellow dragon, recognition setting in.
"Hello, Nef," Queen Ili'ana paused her swimming to acknowledge the dragon. "We've come to lend a hand."
"How did you—?" he began, still staring at Rarity. Then he shook his head. "Nevermind. What did you say about helping?" he asked the queen.
Rarity was worried he was going to launch into some tirade about how the dragons didn't need help, but he seemed genuinely interested, which alarmed her greatly. The dragons must not be doing as well as they'd thought they would. What that meant about Spike, she just didn't know, and wasn't sure she wanted to.
"Rarity," Applejack whispered, tugging at Rarity's shoulder. "Um, don't look now, but…"
Rarity turned in the direction Applejack was staring, and her heart leapt into her throat.
In the middle of the raging battle, soaring through the sky was the most enormous dragon she'd ever seen. He twisted left and right, breathing green flames from a mouth that could easily swallow a house, and beating gargoyles out of the air with huge swipes of his claws. Atop the purple creature, a unicorn conjured a bubble shield to guard them from the rocks the gargoyles chucked their way.
The swarm of skinny reptiles had Spike and Twilight surrounded. The more of them Spike swatted and charred, the more flocked to lend assistance to their fellow scaly warriors. Twilight's bubble shield kept the worst of the attacks at bay, though, and Rarity felt a rush of gratitude for her talented friend. Twilight was keeping Spike safe. Maybe things would be okay, after all.
But no sooner had the thought crossed Rarity's mind, a boulder smashed through Twilight's shield from behind, sending her sailing off Spike's back to the ground below.
Rarity's heart dropped back down to her stomach. "NO!"
She and Applejack simultaneously leapt from Queen Ili'ana's back to the river's bank and raced across the volcanic fields. Rarity desperately wished her levitation magic was more powerful, as she cast a spell to try and at least somewhat slow Twilight's fall. Even with the spell, though, the unicorn continued to plummet. Twilight's fall might be slowed, but she was still headed for the ground. Rarity couldn't move her hooves fast enough.
But Applejack could. The Earth pony gave one final leap, catching Twilight in the nick of time. Rarity ended her slowing spell, allowing her full energy to go back into running to catch up.
Above them, with Twilight's shield spell gone, the gargoyle swarm intensified. Rock after rock after rock slammed into the ground around them. Rarity shoved Twilight onto Applejack's back, and they ran for their lives. Behind them, Rarity could hear Spike roaring in pain, as most of the gargoyle swarm took him on. She choked back a sob, and helped Applejack get under an outcrop of stone.
"Twah'!" Applejack said. "Say somethin', Twah'!"
"Darling, please!" Rarity said, kneeling by her friend's side, and trying to keep her attention focused on the unicorn rather than the dragon screeching behind her. "Do wake up!"
Twilight groaned, and Rarity cried out in relief. She was alive.
"Spike…?" Twilight said.
"Twah'!" Applejack gasped.
"Where's Spike?" Twilight blinked her eyes open. Her pupils didn't look quite right, and Rarity feared her friend may be suffering from a concussion.
"He's…" Rarity looked back over her shoulder, and immediately wished she hadn't.
The gargoyles had united against him, clinging to him and weighing him down. With a roar of rage, Spike crashed into the ground, sliding up against a cliff. Dust billowed out around him.
"No!" Rarity gasped. The ground shook beneath her hooves from the impact, and she struggled to stay standing.
"Spike!" Twilight shouted. She must've seen it, too.
"Settle down!" Applejack instructed. But Twilight did the opposite, and stood up. "You can't move too much! Yer hurt!"
Ignoring her, Twilight began to stumble forward. Applejack tried to forcibly hold her back, but Twilight was a stronger pony than she let on.
"Rarity, get to Spike!" Applejack said. "Ah'll take care of Twah'light!"
Rarity looked back at the struggling pair. "But what about—?" she started, but as she noticed Twilight's horn fizzling with purple sparks, Rarity realized her friend was in no state to hear about Celestia's message. Or to do anything about it, for that matter.
And somepony had to get to Spike before the gargoyles killed him.
She tore herself away from the two friends she'd only just reunited with, and ran across the rocky field to where Spike was pinned down. The boulders piled around him faster than Rarity could keep track. He continued to breathe fire, and the gargoyles had to maintain a certain distance to chuck their rocks. Rarity stumbled over her hooves, trying to get by his side before he was buried alive.
"STOP!" she screamed up at the beasts, tears streaming from her eyes. The gargoyles above didn't even glance down at her. "PLEASE! STOP! You're hurting him!"
The pile of rocks trapping Spike against the cliff just continued to grow. His wings were completely immobilized, but his arms and legs did a decent job kicking through the pile to keep it from completely burying him. Though, as a side effect of each shove he gave, a new rock would come crashing down the pile towards Rarity. She weaved in and out of the tumbling rocks, trying desperately to get to him. She had one plan, and one plan only:
Change Spike back.
A huge boulder collided with the poor dragon's head, and he sent a particularly giant fire blast at the gargoyle who'd landed the hit. As long as Spike was the biggest dragon on the scene, Rarity knew he'd be the gargoyles' primary target. They'd go after him until he was dead.
Her hooves beat against the ground. What was it that Spike had said? I'd turned him back before? Maybe once he sees that I haven't been kidnapped…
"Spike!" she shouted, trying to get his attention from the base of the pile of rocks. Another rock crashed down, and she had to jump to one side. "Spike, it's me!"
But Spike continued to scorch gargoyles, and the gargoyles continued to slam rocks into his massive body. She might as well be an ant in the dirt for all he'd notice.
The pile had reached his shoulders, and Rarity set her jaw. Darting forward, she began to climb. One hoof over the other, she pulled herself up the pile, sweat pouring down her face. Above her, there was a nearly steady stream of green flame firing. Rarity's lungs screamed in protest the higher she got. Between the exertion and the smoke, she wasn't certain she'd make it to the top. But she had to try. Spike needed her. She had to try.
"Spike!" Rarity blinked dust from her eyes. That wasn't her screaming… She glanced over her shoulder.
Down near the base of the pile, Rarity spied Applejack and Twilight. Applejack had a hoof around Twilight's shoulders. It seemed she couldn't keep Twilight from trying to come help, after all.
Rarity pulled herself up another level of stone. No way could Twilight make this climb. Rarity felt like passing out, and she wasn't the one with the head injury.
She pushed herself harder. Spike let out another cry, but this time, of pain. Rarity's eyes sprung new tears.
"Spike, I'm coming," she said, her hoof slipping on a stone. She narrowed her eyes and tried again.
Finally, she reached the top. She was face to face with Spike, now. But Spike's eyes were on the sky, and she had to duck as he let out another breath of fire.
"SPIKE!" she yelled, holding a hoof to block his hot breath from scalding her face. "SPIKE, PLEASE, LOOK AT ME!"
The dragon pulled his head back, nearly knocking it against the cliff at the sound of her voice. It seemed he'd finally heard her. Rarity trembled. Now she just had to hope this worked.
Spike's browridges shot up as his gigantic pupils focused on her. "Rar-Rarity?" he asked. His voice was deep, echoing…but definitely his.
"Yes, it's me!" Rarity cried out. "I'm okay, Spike!"
"You're…you're…"
A chunk of the cliff itself fell towards them, and Rarity shrieked. Spike pushed forward, freeing his arms to shield Rarity. The cliff piece shattered over his skull, crumbling around them in a cloud of dust and debris. Rarity could just see the gargoyles above, working to lodge another piece free.
Spike screamed in rage, belting out blast after blast of fire at the hundreds of gargoyles swarming overhead.
"No, Spike!" Rarity shouted. "You have to stop! Or they'll keep attacking until you're dead!"
He didn't seem to hear her anymore. Fury had taken over once again.
Rarity let out a terrified sob. Somehow, she had to stop him. She had to change him. She had to save him.
And so she did the only thing she could think of.
Pushing her tangled, dust-filled mane to one side, Rarity stepped forward and reared up on her hind legs atop the pile of boulders. She put a hoof to either side of Spike's mouth, and kissed him.
Everything was a blur. The gargoyles—enemy—the rocks—pain—Rarity—protect—and then…
His world centered once more.
A soft sensation at the end of his snout.
Peace.
It wasn't a proper kiss. Rarity couldn't stop crying the entire time, and her mouth wasn't really even on his, since he was so gigantic. Instead, she pressed up against his scales where they curved in a hooked shape under his nose. But despite all of that, Rarity poured every drop of emotion she had into it.
Come back to me, Spike. Please don't let them kill you.
Rocks continued to rain down on them, but Rarity refused to give up.
Then, Spike's scales began to vibrate, rattling Rarity's whole face. She pulled back in alarm, locking eyes with Spike for one brief moment, until…
POOF.
He changed. No more wings. No more bulk.
He was small again. And he was falling.
Rarity dove, grabbing for him before he hit the rocks. She snatched him out of the air, and they both tumbled together down the pile of stone. Gargoyles swooped around them, and Rarity wrapped her hooves over Spike's body, trying to shield him as best as she could from their continued assault. He wasn't moving, and his eyes were closed.
Spike, please! Just hold on a little longer! Rarity slammed against countless rocks as they toppled down the pile, but finally rolled onto flat ground. Her whole body trembled horrendously, and she untangled her limbs one at a time to make sure none of them were broken. Spike was still unconscious, but he was breathing.
They'd landed on the opposite side of the rock pile from Twilight and Applejack. She could just make out their forms across the way, peering at her from a distance ten times the depth of the Apple family's big red barn.
She moved to go to them, but then a gargoyle dive-bombed her, and she threw herself over Spike.
"RARITY!" Applejack yelled. Gargoyles landed on the rock pile separating them, hissing dares to try and cross. "Is he—?"
"He's alive!" Rarity shouted back.
Twilight let out a sob of relief that she could hear from all the way across the barrier of rocks and gargoyles.
Rarity flipped Spike onto her back, turning to run back to her friends. Then, a gargoyle swiped at her and she had to leap to the side. The creature's dark eyes focused on her intently, like Opal when she stalked a mouse toy.
"No, Rarity!" Twilight yelled. "You have to get him out of here!"
A swift kick and a burst of running freed her from her current attacker, but rocks continued to fall around her, and likewise around her friends. It was like a deadly dance, dodging each one.
"But—!" Rarity started.
"GET HIM OUT OF HERE!" Twilight pleaded. Next to her, Applejack kicked a gargoyle square in the chest, knocking him away from Twilight. "We'll handle the battle! You have to save him! Go!"
Spike's still form on her back steeled Rarity's nerve. She nodded once in Twilight's direction.
Then she turned and ran north, out of the battle and into the volcanic hills.
Being big may have been the only thing keeping him alive he is a dragon they still want him dead. At least big he had a fighting chance maybe with shining armor making the shield spell it would have been different.
This, is certainly worth the wait.
I'm happy to hear more about Moxie and her happy ending... kinda. How she had noticed what Rarity was doing, and how she's willing to help her, even through her mate was in bad status as well.
Rarity of course, was good as always. Good to see how emotional she was, and how much she cares for everyone. Even the dragons who imprisioned her. Truly the Element of Generosity.
And what a Cliffhanger to leave things on... how will the battle escape, and what will happen between Spike & Rarity?
3129401
Actually, being thrice the size of the other dragons made him a priority target, as well as easier to hit.
3129408 But small they only need one maybe two to take him out.
Well damn! Getting to the action, the dragons are not going to like their main weapon being taken out of commision...
By the way, THANK YOU!! You updated!!! HUZZA!!!
And so the war begins. Twilight riding a giant Spike is just badass. Rarity and Spike have a lot of work ahead of them to end this, and then they have to deal with the whole relationship aspect. It's never easy!
3129519 As soon as that image entered my brain, I knew I had to incorporate it. Power Team!
3129538 Agreed.
th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2013/081/a/7/twilight_and_spike_by_residentfriendly-d5yups3.png
OMG so much emotions... I don't have words to describe how much I loved this chapter... it was completely unexpected almost everything that happened... and Rarity was so awesome as only she can be ASF I miss Spike, hope next chapter he'll awake, not like it'd bother me to be another 100% chapter again anyways
and I love Moxie... I hope she doesn't have too much problems later with all she risked to save Rarity... if she didn't Spike had died!
and Rarity kissed Spike :3 : OMG I so love this story! now she'll have to admit he's her life-mate lol
Because the author says so.
YOU ARE AWESOME!!!
Silly dragons, don't you know rock is resistant to fire-
...Pokemon be damned.
3129538 Indeed!
And it was written, "twas epic!"
I just got done reading what you have completed on this story thus far, and I must say that this is by far becoming one of my top favorite stories that I have read on this site!
Simply amazing and I absolutely look forward to the next chapter update.
Here's hoping that Spike and Rarity get their everything worked out and that the growing alliance of Dragons, Sea Serpents, and Ponies takes out the Gargoyles.
~ Super-Brony12
Excellent chapter, I absolutely loved it.
So, let me get this straight, we've got our heroes fighting a force that vastly outnumbers them on the eve of the arrival of a giant space rock that will increase said foes strength tenfold? This reminds me of something else. Perfect chance to use this music. (Use it for the battle scenes.)
Yay, we finally have the cover image. That was always fun with covers depicting a scene, getting to the part where it made sense. (Oh, so THAT'S why Harry is with a big red bird and a girl that's not Hermione here on the cover)
Glad to hear that Moxie and her mate might just work things out, and I'm sure he'll get better.
Really awesomely spectacular climax, mon amie.And we're still not done! Like others said, this was worth the wait, so you take your time and make the next (last?) Chapter as awesome as we knowyou can.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More plz :3
C'mon Spike hold on just a little longer. Rarity you are the only one who can save him now!
Ah, now the cover picture is indicative of the current happenings.
3131398 I was excited to get to the point where I could include the cover image. It's pretty much what inspired this entire fanfic in the first place. I'm glad you enjoyed the newest chapter!
And thanks to everyone who's commented and/or read. I feel lucky to have so many readers who'll come back even after a hiatus.
Magnificent story and excellent chapter!
This chapter on it's own is pretty good and it was amazing to both see a more negative side of the sea serpents, them being put in their place by Rarity, which was awesome, and seeing Nef being almost reasonable, even if that is a sign of how bad everything is.
The balance of this seems worryingly in the gargoyles favor and they don't even have the meteor powerup yet. This is either a great setup for the climax or the start of some majorly inconsistent power levels. I'm hoping you manage to make it all work in the end, but this seems to be teetering on the brink of going somewhere subpar compared to the rest of this well-plotted, well-written story.
Your depiction of the action is also impressive. Many fanfic make the mistake of getting too grizzly, but you manage a good balance of some more mature and horrific battles that still doesn't descend into gore that feels wholly inappropriate for the source material.
Specific nitpicks:
"Rarity let out an emotional laugh." Kinda boring and bland sentence. "choked with emotion" maybe?
"but she didn't see another way around it." I suggest just "a way around it". That means exactly what you mean. "another" is kinda superfluous.
"on a makeshift raft from a few beach logs." You lack "made" between "raft" and "from" or reword it to something like "on a raft cobbled together from a few beach logs." There is simply something wrong with the sentence you have made.
"But no sooner had the thought crossed Rarity's mind, a boulder smashed through Twilight's shield from behind," Might be me, but I kinda miss a "before" or something before "a boulder".
"But Applejack could. The Earth pony gave one final leap, catching Twilight in the nick of time. Rarity ended her slowing spell, allowing her full energy to go back into running to catch up." How is being caught by Applejack half a meter above the ground any less lethal than a lethal drop onto stone? At the height Spike seems to have reached, the drop would be fatal. Remember, it's not the ground that kills you, it's the sudden stop, regardless of what facilitates the stop. Only a slower deceleration will prevent death.
Ok, I know the last minute catch is a staple of fiction, but it is simply such a glaringly incorrect idea that it stands out to me, particularly when you could have had Rarity actually slow Twilight at least enough for AJ's catch to mean something.
"Pushing her tangled, dust-filled mane to one side, Rarity stepped forward, rearing up on her hind legs atop the pile of boulders. She put a hoof to either side of Spike's mouth, and kissed him." This looks odd, considering his huge head. Is she putting a hoof above and below his lips? Because as you rightly mention later, he is too big to practically kiss and as such, he is definitely too big to have Rarity reach around his mouth.
Also, I can't help but think it was a little too quickly that Spikezilla was returned to normal, not to mention that he seems underwhelming considering the hype. Though, if you manage to spin this in the "no single thing wins wars or solves political problems" I will retract this comment. It's just, as it stands now, it feels a little like a cop-out.
And lastly, was Spikezilla almost buried in stone by the time Rarity returned him to normal? Because if that's the case, the veritable mountain of stone encasing him ought to be caving in on itself when he returned to normal, making for some issues with keeping the footing on a pile of stone collapsing in on itself.
Still, for all the apparent harshness of this comment, the chapter was well-written, with some great moments and a battle scene that still felt vaguely pg while still being horrific. Which is, I repeat, something impressive. So I still greatly enjoy the story and look forward to more.
Happy writing.
Awesome! This is exciting. What's going to happen next? I must know!
oh yes! god I can't even begin to express how epic this chapter was.
The chapters before were full of wonderful build-up and this chapter really made it feel that an all out war was going on around them.
and the money shot. err... the story cover shot. nice.
one editorial note though: "They'd landed on the opposite side of the opposite side of the rock pile from Twilight and Applejack."
one too many opposite sides there.
I like this Rarity, courajous and heroic.
3133853 Thanks for the edits! I do appreciate the notes. I should probably clarify more that Rarity was helping slow Twilight's fall, she just wasn't doing a super amazing job at it. Maybe I'll take a crack at rewording that so it's more clear that Twilight wasn't falling at a normal speed. For everything else, you'll have to wait and see what comes next. I'm happy with the ending I've got planned, so hopefully you'll enjoy it as well!
I've come to terms with the fact that I won't be able to please everyone, though. That's just the nature of the game. That isn't to say I think you won't be happy with what's to come, or that I am ignoring your suggestions. Critique is always valuable, and I do seriously consider when people make suggestions or express concerns. I wouldn't be any sort of decent writer if I shunned critique. It definitely makes my projects stronger.
My biggest regret with fanfiction is that fanfics tend to be early drafts. In real writing, audiences don't get the story until the thing's been rewritten several times over. I suppose one could also do that with fanfiction, but it would take years to get one story out (at least, it would if I tried to do it that way with my other life commitments). I really do wish I could have some time to go through this entire story and not just edit, but truly revise. Alas, I've got to work with what's already published on this site and the limited time I have. I also think people might get frustrated if I took a year off of updating to just go through and change what's already there. It's not worth it, really. As it is, simply getting this draft out has taken over a year.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm ending my multi-chapter fanfic writing after wrapping up this story. My standards have gotten higher and higher through the years for myself, and I can no longer meet those with the time I give myself to devote to fanfic. It's time to throw in the towel. It's been a good run. Etc, etc. My real writing has gotten to the point where I can no longer afford to futz around with non-career-track stories. I have professional people to answer to now, with deadlines that often pop out of nowhere. So I'm afraid once Of Age is done, that's it for the big fanfics for me. Maybe I'll do a one-shot every now and again, when the urge strikes.
Wow, this comment reply rapidly turned into a mini-blog-post. Whoops.
Uh...
Thanks for reading? Yes. And commenting.
Right.
I'm going to stop typing now.
3135614 Yeah... that's my problem with my own story plans.
I can't bring myself to release anything until I feel it's perfected.
But my time is so short it's hard to inspire myself to write because what results is inconsistent due to the gaps between writing times. I can feel the breaks as a read over the parts, and it's annoying.
3135614
I'm going to paraphrase Stephen King here and say: don't try to please everyone. Write to please one person, your prime reader. If that's you, a friend, or a lover; write the story you want to tell them.
As for me, I love your story. The image of Twilight flying into war on Spike's back is one that will stick with me.
3130954 I thought of that too
Twilight riding to battle on an Uber-Spike, the image is kickass!
3135614
Yeah, well, it's not as if I ever expect people to go "wow, you're right, the whole three-chapter-long thing I had planned is not going to work" or whatever. Finding a plotline is hard enough, agreeing with some random guy on the internet saying that something is badly wrong with something important to the story and trying to change a huge chunk is not only unlikely but also counterproductive to actually getting the story out there. And getting the writing out there is the best way to train. You don't get good at drawing faces if you keep starting with eyes and then giving up 'cause they aren't photorealistic. The only thing I really expect to happen from any comments that are not just grammar or wording is that the authors edge might hopefully be sharpened for later, so that they avoid major inconsistencies and thematic blunders and stuff. So I comment on the larger stuff to provoke a little thought about it, not because I seriously expect any major overhaul and that's fine.
I'll probably like the story anyway, anything with personal interactions this good is something I'll enjoy. I might mentally go "meh" if I find your handling of the war plot less than stellar, but you'll have to really suddenly lose all grasp of the characters to really get my dislike for this fic and I've always thought that characters are kinda the most important bit.
Now update! Happy writing.
3137713 Hah, well that's good to hear! Your comments get me thinking, so rest assured you are helping. And really, like I said, I do seriously consider people's suggestions as I write this fanfic. Other than the biggest plot points, I am flexible with how things work out, so I've definitely had my creativity sparked more than once by comments made by reviewers. But I am glad to hear you don't expect me to change anything huge at this point. I always want to please my readers as best as I can, but it's not always possible. I'm grateful that you're an actual, reasonable commenter who understands that. You should see some of the private messages I get with "suggestions". They get...interesting.
3136543 I love that quote. And I'm glad you're enjoying things.
3135719 Yeah, when you've got a busy life, there's no way to go for perfection in fanfiction. It's hard to let go of that need to make everything perfect. What helped me (not just for fanfiction, but for writing fiction in general), was doing NaNoWriMo, and becoming okay with the fact that the stuff I write can be TERRIBLE, and I can fix it later. Thanks to years of NaNo, with my often limited time, I can crank out 3,000+ words of story per hour. Then I edit after I've got a decent chunk already written.
3138108 it's from Stephen King's: On Writing Everyone that aspires to write, even as just a hobby, should read this.
3138108
Yeah, crazed ranting and oddly insulted tones abound on both sides of the review front sometimes. It's really weird how people can get, though I understand it a bit more when it's the writer that gets emotional, as the work does have some investment and it's always unpleasant to have someone criticize it. Understandable, but definitely not laudable.
Have to admit, I think I have gotten a little too involved in a review or two, but I do try to keep a civil tone. I do not make a point better by making it louder, harsher or condescending, so I try and sometimes, the writer just doesn't want to write the story the reader wants, but that is up to the writer to decide. I can dislike it all I want, but I can't make someone write what I want.
Looking forward to the next chapter. If nothing else, this story always have emotional moments and conversations that I enjoy.
I would've been pretty surprised if the dragons had just simply released Rarity, so yay for Moxie to the rescue. And surprise, surprise, one more dragon thrown into the brawl isn't enough to change things, no matter how massive. Don't put all your dragons in one basket, Rojo, or one egg even. I wonder where he is during all this, anyway.
Hmm, that prophecy sounds awfully suggestive. Diamond in the rough, eh? *Eyes that cover image suspiciously* On top of sounding like Rarity herself in this situation and setting, I now expect Rarity and Spike to join together to somehow turn the meteors into a rain of humongous diamonds that they weaponize as magic prisms or something.
I like how Applejack did a victory headbutt with the sea serpents, by the way, that was cute. And Twilight riding atop Spike during the battle was an impressive image, yes, but also a touch sad, in a way. It actually made me think more of Twilight's motherly side, desperately trying to keep Spike safe while he's bombarded from all sides, and you can't help but wonder how much he even recognizes her presence in his frenzied state.
3135614
Aww, no more long stories from you after this? But your two multi-chapter fics have both easily been amongst my most anticipated while waiting for updates, and every time I see a feed notification and a chapter update pop up together, I hope it's you. Like 13 fics I track updated recently, during a few days when I wasn't reading anything, and this one was the first I picked to start again. Ah well, do what you've gotta do, of course, but yes, it has been a good run, and I'll keep an eye out for those occasional one-shots.
3138108 I have OCD when it comes to errors. They ANNOY me until I must fix them.
Nooo! I thought "too short" but it's over 7000 words! I read too fast...Fck!
Looking forward to next chapter. Excelent work so far. Errors?....meh, nothing comes to mind.
I like the character development between Rarity and Moxie. It was neat to see their interactions in the earlier chapters, and I'm really glad to see that being built upon.
Also, you've gotten really good at writing cliffhangers :/ ..That's both cool and extremely frustrating at the same time, haha
And Rarity shows she can be a true badass mage.
Loved it!
~Skeeter The Lurker
Ohmygosh this is so beautiful Im going to cry
Wow, very impressive chapter all throughout. It's good to see Moxie come through, especially with her mate hurt somewhere else. And the action scenes were pure great! I do feel like they could have described a bit more elaborately, as it all seems to go by rather quick, but they're still awesome. Spike and Twilight fighting together (well, sort of together) was just epic. I need to draw that when I've honed my skills...
–"Get it!" Rarity shouted, fury coursing through her. That sneak! How dare he? "Show that despicable creature who's boss!"
I love this line! Yay for fabulous girl-power. :D
You ended two sentences in a row with the same words, you silly author.
Now we're really in the thick of it! High adventure, a genuinely bloody battlefield, and characters rushing all over the place with different missions, struggling to keep up with a consistently developing war.
Well, that was actually kind of intense. For once I don't have much to say.
Which is a good thing.
Lose the tag. We know it's her.
Maaaan, these are starting to wear me down. Last couple chapters weren't so bad for it but they're making a comeback.
Nuuuu! Why is it that every time dragons get involved with Celestia's letters, they get destroyed?
Also, never* mind* (two words).
Well, then. This might have been good to, y'know, share with everyone else beforehand?
Huh. Rarity agrees. Also, "huffed" is not a dialogue tag. Period instead of comma after "not."
?!This could have all been one paragraph. I understand punctuating sentences like this to emphasise their importance, but only the line following these needs to be separated to have the same effect.
Tag doesn't need to be there.
Dohohoho. She knew the whole time. Just as I suspected.
Y'know, every time I see this, I feel "(S)He gasped" would be far better suited to the other side of the dialogue.
no hyphen
Superfluous comma.
This comes to mind:
18:10
Whoa! Fking Rarity! You tell 'em, girl. This is excellent stuff.
It's official: I love Moxie. She's awesome.
Never* mind*, and lose the tag.
Uh, actually she was, if I recall. Unless she somehow healed in the past day?
No, bad CAPS. Do I need to get out my newspaper again?
So he has used his Wrath to fuel his strength. I guess I was sorta half-right?
And there it is. You've made your choice now.
More nasty CAPS.
Get these nasty caps out of here!
...
Wow. This is intense. Spike kicking butt, Rarity being a badass, Moxie proving she can be reasonable, the serpents actually overcoming their vanity, Twilight and AJ being badasses too... St's hectic, all right. There's a few things on my mind that I can't exactly reconcile yet though.
1) If Applejack and Twilight can hold their own in a fight like this, then how come the escort of Royal Guards sent to originally meet Rarity were taken down / silenced so easily?
2) Where the hell are either of the Princesses? Building from that, where are Pinkie and Rainbow? Are they all busy fighting other gargoyles in other places?
3) Where's Shining Armor? Surely his shield spell would have come in handy here against the largest assault.
Of course, some / all of these questions may yet be answered. I just hope that Rarity and Spike don't suffer more than they have already...
You know, I've finally seen why this story has such a high rating. I honestly had my doubts after reading chapter one and seeing all of the blatant issues with it. I have to say though, apart from the same continuous type of errors that can't be helped (yet), it's a pretty decent fic.
Three chapters left...
An BOOM! Rarity continues to prove to be an awesome mare in this type of scenario. I love how, despite being very emotiional and in tears, she isn't becoming a DID where she is content to let Big stwong Spike fight her battles while she sits over in the corner and mopes. That is not Rarity, that is not why we love her, and I come to pony fics to get away from Sailor moon fic like crap like that (Seriously, have you seen a bad Sailor Moon fic?) Many bad Sparity fics or even some good ones make this mistake. In thier attempt to make Spike look awesome, they make the girl seem weak an this subtracts a LOT from their relationship. This manages to give awesome bits to both leas and I love it for that.
Please, I'm begging you to edit out the words "Twah'light" and "Twah." It makes me cringe every time I see it.
It's just too much, and comes across as comical (even though the tone of the chapter is quite serious). You don't need to give Applejack such a thick accent.