Chapter 8
Stef'an led them through the tunnels, towards the soft morning daylight that illuminated the mouth of the cave. "Now, don't you fret," the sea serpent said from the water by the rocky path. "The Court is sure to love you. Both of you. You're kind, you're beautiful, you're everything we sea serpents hold dear."
Rarity and Sweetie Belle walked side by side. Rarity glanced down at her sister, who gave her an overly exaggerated smile of encouragement. It didn't do much to settle the butterflies in Rarity's stomach.
"Besides, today you won't even need to actually do any negotiating. The dragons won't be here until tomorrow."
Rarity let out a slow breath, willing the butterflies to relax. That is a fabulous point, Stef'an. I won't have to do any negotiating today, will I? I just need to make a good impression on the Court. That's not so hard, now is it?
Despite all her negotiating clothes being water-damaged, she still managed to put something together for the occasion. A straightforward blue dress and matching hard-rimmed hat made for an outfit that Rarity hoped read, "mature professional". For Sweetie Belle, Rarity had to improvise. She hadn't expected the filly to come along, after all, so she initially had nothing for her sister to wear.
Sweetie Belle stepped over some rocks along the cave path, and Rarity allowed herself a moment of pride. Her sister looked darling in the lavender skirt and striped top she'd managed to trim down to size the night before. Both their outfits had exhausted Rarity's supply of relatively unscathed clothes, so Rarity had warned Sweetie Belle repeatedly not to allow her top or skirt to get stained or torn. She could only pray her sister would actually heed that advice.
The roar of the crashing waves grew louder as they drew closer to the cave's exit. It wouldn't be long before they'd be outside in the early daylight.
"Now, Queen Ili'ana usually arrives last to Court, and will expect everyone to bow at her entrance," Stef'an explained, "She should be referred to as 'Her Majesty', but please don't let that intimidate you at all. My great-aunt is a very approachable ruler."
"She sounds wonderful," Sweetie Belle said, skipping over a particularly large rock.
"She is, she is!" Stef'an cooed.
Rarity smiled. Just took a bit of coaxing, and her sister was becoming a natural at sweet-talking. She'd make a lady out of her yet. "With you as a nephew, how couldn't she be?" Rarity added, demonstrating to Sweetie Belle how to step up the flattering game even further.
"Oh my!" Stef'an giggled, his purple face going pink. "You're too much!"
The three of them rounded the outer edge of the cave into the morning sun and Rarity glanced at her sister to see if she was paying attention to her impromptu lesson. But Sweetie Belle was staring up at the sky with her mouth gaping, instead. A whoosh of air ruffled Rarity's mane and Rarity looked up as well, her chest immediately tightening.
"Oh…oh my," Rarity whispered. Her hooves began to quake against the rock.
Shouts went up around the Meeting Isles. "Dragons! The dragon emissaries are here!"
A giant shadow passed over Rarity and her sister, taking several moments to clear as the sea serpents scattered in the waters. "Whoa," Sweetie Belle said. "They're huge."
"I don't understand," Stef'an stammered, as three more of the giant beasts flew by. He nearly dropped the raft he'd just picked up at the cave's mouth. "They aren't supposed to be here yet…they weren't supposed to come until tomorrow! Oh no, what will Queen Ili'ana do now? Is she prepared? Am I prepared? Oh dear!"
Rarity was wondering the same about herself, but held her tongue. This is no time to panic. So the dragons are here early. So it sounds like you will be negotiating with them today after all. Calm down. They likely did this to throw us off guard. I don't have to let that tactic work, though.
"Well, we mustn't be late, then," Rarity said, urging Stef'an onwards now that they were out of the cave. "Let's continue to Court and see what their reasoning is for stopping by early."
"Right!" Stef'an hooked the golden raft up to his back so that Rarity and Sweetie Belle could climb aboard. Once they were on, Stef'an swam out away from the large isle towards a secluded section of smaller rocky points. Rarity had to marvel again at how easily Stef'an cut through the ocean waves, and—to be completely honest—she took some comfort in knowing that Stef'an could swim so well, just in case the dragons circling overhead tried anything.
There were five dragons in all. Each was easily the size of the dragon that fell asleep near Ponyville years ago. They came in a variety of colors and shapes—though none had the same bulk as Spike when he had transformed on his birthday, Rarity noted. She wasn't sure why a small swell of pride crept into her stomach at that thought, but it was a welcome change of emotion from her nervous panic.
"So now what?" Sweetie Belle asked, as they approached a semi-circle of rocky points.
"Now I do what I came here to do," Rarity said, with more confidence than she really had. The dragons landed on the points of rock, one on each. The last dragon to land had a beautiful turquoise coloration, and Rarity realized her blue dress looked quite drab by comparison. Show off, she thought to herself, harrumphing ever so quietly.
Stef'an swam them into the center of the rocky points. Sea serpents were wrapped around each rock, like vines around fence posts. The landing dragons crumbled some of the rock down onto the sea serpents heads, and there were many exclamations about that, mostly consisting of variations on, "My hair! You bully!"
"Tut, tut!" Rarity chastised the dragons loudly from the center of the ring of outcrops, doing her best to emit an aura of authority. "Now, I'm sure you can land without causing such a mess." Rarity tossed her mane, turning up her nose as more loose stone splashed into the ocean. The dragons all turned to glare at her. "You're graceful creatures, after all. Don't tell me the noble dragons have lost their infamous elegance?"
The dragon glares turned downward in shame, save for that of the turquoise dragon. He continued to stare her down, with deep magenta eyes. "So you're the ambassador?"
Rarity's legs shook so bad she was certain she was going to collapse like a glop of oatmeal, but she kept her voice steady. "Indeed I am. And who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?"
His eyes never left hers. "Rojo," the dragon replied after a moment's pause.
A murmur went through the sea serpent Court. "She's so bold!" "So well spoken!" "And has such a fabulous mane!"
Rarity continued to hold Rojo's gaze. "Well, then, it is lovely to meet you, Rojo. I do hope you fared well on your journey here."
"Well enough," Rojo's gruff voice replied.
"Please, allow me to introduce myself," Stef'an spoke up, offering a spindly hand. Rojo did not take it, but that's perhaps because he sat so high above the water line, he would've had to fly down to greet the sea serpent. "My name is Stef'an Ma'Ganette, Duke of Sea Serpentia. My aunt will be with you shortly, I am sure. I do apologize, but we weren't expecting you until tomorrow—"
"We came early," Rojo interrupted.
"Oh yes, I see," Stef'an continued without missing a beat. Rarity had to hand it to him—he knew how to keep his composure, at least when his precious mustache wasn't threatened. "Well, welcome to Sea Serpentia, and please, if there's anything I can do—"
"You can give us what you owe," Rojo said. Rarity began to wonder how she could reinsert herself into the conversation before it went sour, but then a new voice spoke.
"Again, I must remind you that we never took anything from you," the new voice said. Rarity turned to see a red and white serpent swim towards them, with long, flowing locks of blonde curls and a sparkling tiara.
Stef'an bowed his head, and every other sea serpent did the same. Queen Ili'ana, Rarity realized, pushing Sweetie Belle's head down with one hoof and bowing herself.
"Don't play cute, Ili'ana," Rojo sneered. "We don't have time. The gargoyles are on the move, and we need our defenses fully prepared."
"Funny you say that when you've wasted so much of your muscle on intimidating my clan lately," Queen Ili'ana said, taking her place around the largest rock spire. Her ruby scales were dazzling in the sunlight, Rarity noticed as she lifted her head. "Would your strength not be better spent gearing up to fend off the gargoyle invasion?"
Gargoyle invasion? Rarity's eyes opened wide at that. She threw a preemptive hoof over Sweetie Belle's mouth. One look at her sister, and she knew she wanted to ask the very thing Rarity was pondering. What do they mean, gargoyle invasion? Does Princess Celestia know about this?
"We would be better strengthened if you just give us what you owe!" Rojo slammed a fist down on his rocky perch, sending another cascade of rocks on top of the head of an unlucky member of the sea serpent Court.
"And what, may I ask, do they owe?" Rarity cut in from her position on Stef'an's back, in the midst of the circle of angry reptilians. "As the Equestrian ambassador, I must insist that I get all the facts straight so that I can properly mediate."
"Ah, yes," Queen Ili'ana nodded towards her. "Rarity, the Generous One. Welcome. Please forgive my rudeness. I should have introduced myself sooner."
"Oh, no, there's nothing to be forgiven," Rarity insisted. "You have, understandably, been busy."
"Busy planning how to rob us further," Rojo muttered.
"Again," Rarity said, increasing the volume of her voice. She was already sick of Rojo's attitude. "It would be most helpful if I could hear both sides and take a look at this ancient scroll that you've found."
"Give her the scroll, Nef," Rojo said, waving one hand at the yellow dragon on his left. "Maybe that will get her to shut up for a minute."
Well, I—! Rarity scoffed, but restrained herself from saying anything rude in return. The yellow dragon flew down to Stef'an's level, and handed Rarity a large piece of rolled parchment that she had to use her magic to hold up. The dragon flew back up to its perch as Rarity unrolled the yellow paper, wincing as a few parts disintegrated before her eyes into the ocean.
Sweetie Belle put her hooves up on the edge of the raft, reading alongside her sister.
Dragonkind hearby grants five dragon eggs to the serpents of Sea Serpentia, per agreement that they be returned in no more than five hundred years time. Failure to comply will result in all nullification of the Water's Edge treaty of Dragon Age 506, and all territory up to the waterways will fall under Dragon jurisdiction.
"That scroll is over two thousand years old," Rojo said as Rarity lowered the parchment to look back up at the reptiles around her. "We found it almost a year ago, and since then the sea serpents have denied repeatedly to honor the agreement. They are a millennia and a half late."
"It's a fake!" one of the sea serpents called out.
"Or a lie! Where's their proof we never returned the eggs?" another shouted.
Rarity's mind churned over a few different thoughts, processing this new information. So this is about eggs. The dragons have an actual reason for being so pushy. "Your majesty?" she asked Queen Ili'ana. "If I may, do you have any idea if this scroll is as old as they claim? And if so, why would the sea serpents have asked for five dragon eggs in the first place?"
"It is as old as we claim!" Nef, the yellow dragon, piped up. "Watch!" He blew red hot flames straight at it—and thereby, straight at them. Sweetie Belle shrieked and ducked, the flames going around the scroll like the waves around the rocks. Rarity jumped back to get out of the way.
Stef'an sniffed. "Rude, much," he said, brushing his side to rid it of the scorch marks. But while the sea serpent's side was blackened, the fragile scroll stayed intact.
"Fire magic," Rojo said. "Only a scroll touched by it could withstand dragon flame."
"And who can create fire magic?" Rarity asked, helping her sister to her feet, doing her best to keep her voice civil. Nearly fry my sister, will you? Hrmph.
"It's a lost art," Rojo said. "Only the dragons of legend could achieve it—"
"Like the eggs we're looking for!" Nef said.
"Quiet," Rojo said, glaring at the yellow dragon. "As I was saying, fire magic is how we know this scroll must truly be ancient."
"Really now?" Queen Ili'ana raised a blonde eyebrow at Rojo.
"Really." His voice was stone-cold.
"Alright," Rarity said carefully. You're the ambassador. The negotiator. You have to handle this. "Then assuming this scroll is real—"
The sea serpents around her began crying out in protest.
"Assuming this scroll is real," she said loudly, sending glares all around the Court. Don't they see I'm trying to help? "Then we need to move forward from here. Clearly, the sea serpents must not have these eggs anymore, or this would've been already resolved, correct?" she asked Queen Ili'ana.
The queen nodded.
"Right then," Rarity continued. A nervous lump sat in her throat, and she had to fight the urge to swallow hard. She had over a dozen massive reptiles surrounding her. She had to choose her words wisely. "Since the sea serpents cannot possibly give the eggs back, nor could they reasonably lose their breeding grounds on the water's edge, we must find another solution."
"Impossible!" Rojo roared. "It's the eggs, or their land!"
The other dragons shouted their agreement, and Rarity winced. This was not going well. "Listen!" Rarity insisted. "It's absurd to hold these serpents accountable for the misdeeds of their ancestors! If the scroll is as old as you say, it wouldn't be beyond reasonable to just set it aside and forget it ever happened."
That was clearly not what Rojo and the other dragons wanted to hear, because they began to roar even louder.
"I understand that it hurts to have an agreement not be honored, but taking away the sea serpent's breeding grounds isn't going to help anyone," Rarity said, her legs dancing a bit with excess nervous energy. She steadied them and hoped no one noticed. "It won't bring your eggs back."
"But then they'd know the pain of losing their children!" Rojo growled, his magenta eyes focused on the sea serpent queen. "We'd have our revenge."
"And your revenge is going to help you fight the gargoyles?" Rarity asked, as a last ditch attempt. "Isn't that the real reason you want the eggs back? To use them somehow against the gargoyles? That's what you alluded to earlier, after all. Isn't there anything else you can think of that would help you in that battle that actually still exists?"
That actually got Rojo and the others to shut up for a moment. They eventually all turned inwards and began speaking quietly with one another. Rarity took the chance to turn back to Queen Ili'ana. "And you, your majesty—I asked once before, but I'll ask again: why would your kind ever want five dragon eggs in the first place? What did you hope to do with them?"
"I wasn't alive back then," Queen Ili'ana said, shrugging. "I wouldn't presume to know."
"New idea," Rojo said, cutting in before Rarity could question her further. "Give us one hundred thousand gemstones and we'll consider the debt paid."
Queen Ili'ana gaped, and Rarity struggled not to do the same. "One hundred thousand?"
"And not the puny ones, either. High quality," Rojo said. "Enough to feed an army."
"You want one hundred thousand gemstones, just so you and your hairless brethren can eat them?" Queen Ili'ana asked, incredulous. "Of course not. That's impossible."
"Then no deal," Rojo said. "Sorry, your majesty."
Rarity's head spun, trying to keep up with the turn in events. "You would use the gems to feed yourselves during the battle with the gargoyles, is that the idea?" she asked. "To provide an extra boost of strength?"
"Barbaric!" one of the sea serpents scoffed.
"Exactly," Rojo nodded at Rarity. "Maybe you do have a brain in that tiny pony head of yours."
"Well…then that actually seems like a reasonable solution," Rarity said, skipping over the insult. "Not ideal, but possible." She turned back to the sea serpent queen. "Would you consider this as an alternative, your majesty?"
"We don't have one hundred thousand high quality gems to give and you know it," Queen Ili'ana said, glaring up at Rojo. "We've been selling pieces of our own homes and furniture just to get by."
Rojo rolled his eyes. "Oh please. Don't talk to me about how broke your nation is. It's your own fault for squandering your money on beauty products and lavish accessories."
"Squandering!" another sea serpent protested. Stef'an hung his head, making shameful circles with the tip of his finger in the water.
"Beauty does have its cost," Queen Ili'ana admitted. "But it's one we've all been willing to pay."
Rarity actually groaned out loud. So the sea serpents were bankrupt. That's why there were gems missing in her room. Her businessmare-sense was screaming inside. Dear Princess Celestia…today I learned that dragons are a bunch of STUBBORN BABIES and that sea serpents don't know how to run a financially stable collective!
"Rarity," Sweetie Belle whispered. "I don't think Queen Ili'ana is telling the whole truth. She looks like Apple Bloom does when she's skipped her chores."
Rarity narrowed her eyes at the queen. Now that Sweetie mentioned it, she did look a bit shifty. She could believe that the sea serpents were broke, but there was one thing the queen hadn't yet addressed to Rarity's satisfaction. "Are you certain you have no idea why the sea serpents would've wanted dragon eggs?" she asked Queen Ili'ana yet again.
The queen crossed her red arms. "Well…even if I did, it wouldn't be of much use. I only know where one might've ended up after all."
"One what? One egg?" Rarity asked, leaning forward.
Rojo burst off his rock spire, kicking shards of rock back with his clawed feet so he could fly directly in front of the sea serpent queen. "WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR ANCESTOR'S EGGS?!"
Queen Ili'ana stared him down. "It's just a myth, really. A family legend, passed down."
"Through your lineage?" Rarity clarified. Rojo's beating wings caused a burst of wind to nearly push Rarity over, but she stayed upright. "A royal family myth isn't something to be taken lightly."
Queen Ili'ana settled her shoulders. "Fine, fine." She tossed her curls. "Did no one ever wonder how us sea serpents ended up with hair in the first place?"
"Hair?!" Rojo yelled, practically spitting. "What does hair have to do with any of this?"
"Possibly everything," Queen Ili'ana replied coolly. "So I'd sit down and listen if I were you."
Rojo grumbled to himself, but flew back up to his rocky point and sat down anyway.
"Now," Queen Ili'ana continued, the breeze from his wingbeats ruffling her blonde curls. "If I tell you where you might find an egg, will you let us have our breeding grounds back?"
"Possibly," Rojo said. "But probably not."
"Would you at least reduce the number of gemstones the sea serpents would owe you?" Rarity asked, seizing the opportunity.
Rojo studied her for a moment, then nodded. "Yes. By one fifth."
Rarity shrugged at Sweetie Belle. It was something.
"Fine, we'll take it," Queen Ili'ana said. "Now, to begin. Years and years and years ago, sea serpents did not naturally have hair like we do today."
There were several gasps through the Court, and Stef'an grabbed at his head, as if worried his hair would just poof away into nonexistence at this revelation.
"Instead, we were covered in scales," the queen continued. "Forced to look upon our equine neighbors with envy. That is, until one pony offered us a spell that would grant us all what we desired deep down: hair."
Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow at Rarity, who shushed her. A mane was a fabulous thing, after all. She could see where they were coming from, even if she couldn't see where this story was going.
"But to grant a reptilian species hair was going to require powerful magic, and this pony said she would only do it if we had something of equal value to give her in return."
Oh. I do see. "A dragon egg," Rarity whispered. A shiver went down her back, in the opposite direction of the ocean wind.
"You sold one of our unborn children so you could have HAIR?" Rojo roared, flames escaping his nostrils.
Queen Ili'ana nodded. "So the legend goes."
"We would NEVER give away one of our own to those creatures! Who was this pony?!" the turquoise dragon demanded.
"Some member of the Equestrian royal family," the queen said. "I'm not sure who. They said they wanted it to predict their future with magic, according to the version my grandfather used to tell. Though my grandmother said it was to determine an heir to the throne."
Rarity couldn't keep her eyes from growing in alarm as the pieces fell into place. A dragon egg. Sold to Equestrian royalty. From a time with fire magic and enchanted scrolls. To identify a special pony…
"Rarity…remember Twilight Sparkle's cutie mark story?" Sweetie Belle asked. "What if—?"
Rarity shook her head quickly, shushing Sweetie Belle up. "Not a word," Rarity hissed at her.
"Regardless, we don't know if Equestria still even has this egg, or when it was sold to them," Queen Ili'ana said. "Or what may have happened to it, if this story is true at all."
Rarity, however, didn't doubt the truth of the tale for one moment. She and Sweetie Belle continued to watch each other carefully. It didn't need to be said out loud.
Spike.
Twilight magicked the last of her scrolls into her pack. "I just don't understand why Princess Celestia is so concerned about comet collisions right now," the unicorn said. "I mean, the comet paths she's having me track aren't even from existing comets anymore! If these scroll translations have taught me anything, it's that the comets smashed into each other hundreds of years ago. They're wiped out now! There's no danger!"
Spike shrugged, helping Twilight hitch her bag. "Don't look at me. You're the genius in the family."
Twilight sighed. "I hate to question the Princess, but I really feel like this project can wait. What's the rush, really?"
"Got me, Sugarcube," Applejack said.
"I just want a night to sleep, is that so much to ask?" Twilight groaned, dumping more sand onto their campfire remains.
"Oh, quit complaining, you love nerding it up at all hours," Rainbow Dash snorted, flying past them all. "It's what you live for."
Spike grinned a little. Rainbow Dash hit the nail on the head. Twilight couldn't even come up with a proper response.
"And that's why we love her!" Pinkie Pie said, jumping on Twilight and ruffling up her mane.
"Okay, okay!" Twilight said, laughing and shaking the pink pony off her head. "I get it. Maybe I do bring these sleepless nights on myself."
Spike yawned. Twilight wasn't the only one who hadn't slept well. Unfortunately, staying up all night staring at the walls of his tent didn't bring him any new insights into who he was. All he'd figured out was what he was not.
The group finished breaking camp and headed out on their way towards the coast. They'd have to locate a sea serpent and try to catch up to Rarity and Sweetie Belle before anything bad happened. Princess Celestia had made it very clear that there was serious danger out there, and even with their bouts of joking, not one was taking this assignment lightly.
So Spike and the others trudged onwards, downriver, towards the east and the rising sun. Spike held his bag with one hand, and used the other to shield his eyes. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom raced up around him, chasing each other. The other ponies chatted. Well—Pinkie chatted, and the other ponies laughed when appropriate.
Spike followed their long shadows on his two stubby legs, wondering how quickly he'd fall behind today and have to accept a ride from Twilight. Four real legs would be so useful, but he only had two to work with. Again, different from everypony else.
He was tired of feeling so completely out of place. Really, really tired of it. He had Twilight, sure, but Twilight had the others. Her friends. The Elements of Harmony. They all had each other. And the fillies had their Cutie Mark Crusaders clique. Why did he have to be so different? Was that why he didn't have anypony else to be close with?
Spike shook his head, trying to force some positivity out of his thick skull. That's too many gloomy thoughts for such a bright and sunny morning, even if we are on a rescue mission. I'm not a complete outcast, after all. I have Twilight. At least, a little. And I can dream of being special to one other pony…
Remembering Rarity's gentle smile managed to truly raise Spike's spirits a bit. She didn't smile like that at anypony else. It had taken some time, but she had become more accepting of him than any of the others, save for Twilight. A gushy feeling took shape deep in Spike's core and his resolve strengthened as the sun rose higher in the morning sky.
He'd do anything to see that smile again. They had to catch up to Rarity and Sweetie Belle and make sure they were safe.
Spike forced his little legs to move faster.
"So Equestria has one of our eggs…" Rojo mused, stroking his scaly chin.
"Perhaps," Rarity said, nerves definitely coloring her tone now. But it couldn't be helped. She couldn't let the dragons find out about Spike. She didn't get the impression that they wanted their eggs back out of any parental love. "Though I am a little puzzled as to why you'd want an egg to help you against gargoyles, I must confess."
"There's been rumors," Nef said to Rojo, ignoring Rarity. "Rumors of a young dragon who thinks he's a pony. I'd always thought it was a bad joke gone wild, but do you think…could ponies have hatched a dragon?"
"That's ridiculous," Rojo said. "No way they'd have that kind of power. But the point does stand…" He turned to stare at Rarity and Sweetie Belle. "Equestria has one of our eggs. And we'll need some incentive to get them to give it back to us."
Rarity's stomach dropped. Oh no. This can't be good. She took a protective step in front of her sister, standing between her and the semi-circle of looming dragons.
"Now, don't do anything rash, Rojo," Queen Ili'ana warned.
No sooner had the words left her mouth, though, the dragon slashed one turquoise arm forward, and the other four dragons dive-bombed Stef'an and the raft on his back.
"Sweetie Belle, look out!" Rarity screamed, knocking her sister down just out of reach of the first set of claws.
"GET THEM!" Rojo bellowed.
Rarity magicked her hard-rimmed hat into the eye of one of her attackers, and he fell into the ocean, clawing at his face in pain. Around them, the sea serpents launched themselves onto the dragons, pulling and yanking. Stef'an thrashed, and Rarity nearly flew off the raft, a wave of water crashing over her and slamming her back down.
"Stef'an, get them out of here!" Queen Ili'ana ordered, amidst the roaring, the fire blasts, and the funnels of spraying water.
"Hold on!" Stef'an made to dive under the water, but just then, a set of hot claws grabbed Rarity around the middle, and she was yanked up into the air, water droplets flying.
"RARITY!" Sweetie Belle shrieked.
"No!" Stef'an twirled, gasping.
Rarity desperately kicked, but her legs were pinned too tightly. Her heart clenched in her chest as Rojo flew in, grabbing for Sweetie Belle, his pupils dilated and his claws spreading. She continued to struggle in the grip of her captor, her damp dress tangling around her. She couldn't get free. "Stef'an, go!" she screamed. "GO!"
"No! NO! RARITY!" Sweetie Belle yelled. Stef'an hesitated for only a moment. Then he gave Rarity a sorrowful salute, and dove beneath the waves, Sweetie Belle in tow. A burst of fire followed them, making the ocean boil.
And that was the last thing Rarity saw before Rojo swooped up to roar in her face, smacking her upside the head so that she lost consciousness.
Interesting, though not very surprising.
hmmm, maybe the eggs were of dragons of immense power? (magically or otherwise?)
-maybe spike is the equivalent of a Super Saiyin among dragons?
Not the brightest dragons there I'll be amazed if the Serpents don't take at least 3 of them down considering there practically in their element and they outnumber the dragons. So many better ways to handle that... well, I guess Spike is gonna have to barbeque a dragon later on,
Also, you tease, making us think we'd have to wait a week, and, then, bam, update!
Insane can't wait for next chapter.
My word, this just keeps getting better and better
awesome new chapter
*sigh* Why do dragons have to be bad guys?
And why does these comets give me a feeling of being important?
2573559 It's all perspective, my friend. The story isn't done.
2573558 Thanks!
2573540 You made me grin as much as Pinkie.
2573457 You shouldn't have to wait two months for it, this time!
2573436 Bwahaha! I'm tricky like that.
2573428 Spike is a special snowflake. But we already knew that.
2573408 Surprise is not my specialty. I completely admit that.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-BzX3D_QTeYk/UHNlLLJk1pI/AAAAAAAABhk/pboAS8gFhk0/s1600/AggressiveNegotiations.jpg
Spike's real name is actually MacGuffin, from a long line of proud dragons. His brother was in the 1994 Triwizard Tournament where he embarrassed the family name after failing to eat some scrawny git with glasses on a broomstick.
2573585
Hmmm... good point... they might just be desperate...
2573559 Well, I think the gargoyles are the bad guys. The dragons are clearly in a situation where they need every advantage they can get. All a matter of perspective.
Keep going this is getting EPIC!!!
2573727
They aren't exactly being good themselves currently.
Dragons are asses.
Great chapter, and great way to end it can not wait to see what happens next. keep up the good work.
2573586
Best backstory I've heard so far.
Could I have some more of this please?
Also, it's a good thing the dragons didn't take Sweetie Belle, if they had they would have had to try and deal with a Cutie Mark Crusader with no sibling to keep her under control. They would've been screwed.
2573874
Chrysalis knows...
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...though I'd imagine having only a third of the Crusaders would be pretty manageable.
holly sh***************************************t this got so much more complicated now!!! my gosh!!!! what are they going to do now???? what about Spike???? how will Rarity be released now!!!
nice chapter, though!!!
althoug all my OMGness!!!
Oh dear.
You traded it to Equestria, didn't you?
2573752 Sometimes you do what you have to to win, In war there is no wrong or right, just a matter of how far you're willing to go for your cause. Frankly, kidnapping is on the low side of horrible things done in wars.
Hmm!
Princess Cadence makes a good point. That would've gone badly for the dragons, one way or another. See also the first arc of the MLP comic book.
I hope we'll get to find out where the other eggs ended up as well. That would dovetail nicely with Spike's current feelings of being alone.
This is why you dont deal with Chromatics people!
Elder dragon, or great wyr, or Lord Spike?
I give you hair for one dragon egg.
That's where I went, "Ohhhhhhhhh...snap.
Thing is, when Spike finds out the dragons kidnapped Rarity, he'll come willingly. And Rarity just might be willing to be taken as well.
If your negotiations don't spiral into an all out brawl then you aren't politicking correctly.
Well, that turned ugly. And I thought she was doing pretty well at first.
2574627 Hey, now, it was FABULOUS hair.
2573586 Spike, clan MacGuffin, lord of Plot Device--okay I need to stop now.
2573874 Hah, yes. Very true. Though last time Rarity was kidnapped, it didn't go too well for her captors, either.
Thank you to everyone who is commenting.
Epic! You're doing great!
Somehow I don't think Spike is going to like the care that has been shown to Rarity and Sweetie Bell....
Well that was a stupid move. Abduct the mediator over 20% of the dispute, so then the remaining 80% instantly loses all chance of further negotiation/discussion, especially when they have no idea if it was even necessary anyway, based on the information they have at the moment. For all they know, the ponies have no idea where the egg is either, or if it's even true that they actually had it in the first place, or that the egg could have been sitting in some archive for the last 1200 years, and Equestria would just give it back willingly at this point, while kidnapping an important pony is just going to piss them off and make them less willing to deal.
But yeah, the instant it was mentioned that the conflict sprang up over missing dragon eggs, it was pretty much inevitable that Spike would turn out to be one of them. Certainly leaves the question of where the others are, though, and it still doesn't explain what the original purpose was for loaning the serpents five eggs to begin with. With an expectation of returning them as-is eventually, there must be some reason the serpents would have wanted the eggs themselves that didn't involve trading them away and violating the deal.
And I wonder how the dragons expect to use the five eggs anyway. Hatch, then force-greed them into adults instantly, then somehow use the magic fire for... I don't know, it's still only a few individuals. Enchanting weapons and armor? Makes you wonder what else Spike can do with his fire that he doesn't know about yet. Interesting that the gargoyles actually pose a threat to the dragons, too, when they seemed smaller and weaker than the dragons. Maybe they have those other four eggs, and are using them somehow.
The sea serpents are so entertaining, though, with the way the talk and act. "My hair! You bully!" Also, I find it amusing that the dragon who was specifically mentioned to have a particularly noticeable turquoise coloring is named Rojo, which means "red" in Spanish.
2576913 He already doesn't like the other dragons because they're selfish and cruel.
When he finds out they abducted and ASSAULTED the love of his life...
Well, we'll be finding out how his growth magic reacts to PURE RAGE...
2575246 Which is why the USA is a mess right now! Things were better when the politicians were beating each other brainless!
...
Ok, well... more brainless.
2573966
Kind of sad that three characters with such potential have been so badly flanderized.
Man, this just keeps getting better and better, I sure hope you aren't tired of seeing comments like this one. ;
I really like your (assumed) backstory for Spike, but of course that's just speculation on my part that he is in fact the dragon that came from that egg. You could go all red herring on us after all...
But they haven't answered the question of the *why* yet, have they? If the queen knows where one egg might be, she might also know why they wanted them in the first place. Organized inter-breeding perhaps?
Rarity was doing a good job until she got snatched, though.
I like these dragons, honestly. They're played out as cunning, powerful, and arrogant, all with their own motives that other races are far too beneath them to understand. Aka, everything I've ever seen a truly wild and powerful mythological creature to be.
It's a great portrayal of them as far as I'm concerned, and you get in Rarity's head so well too. I've enjoyed it thus far and will to the end. Thanks for the great read!
Those other dragons won't be happy when Spike finds out they took his fair maiden. He'll go into his "greedy" mode and tear through dragon ranks to get Rarity back.
2578824 You're correct, that 2520648 's critique is critique done right! It's all constructive, without any mean-spiritedness. Very professional. It's a shame not everyone knows how to give constructive critique. Sometimes I want to critique the critiques I see out there. I'm part of a critique group in real life for my fiction (not fanfiction), and they've all become my best friends, even though our relationship is built around tearing each other's creative works apart. Just remember that there's a person reading and emotionally experiencing your critique, and it helps to tamper your OWN emotions when writing it. You should critique because you want to see something improve, not because you want to prove you know more than the author (here, I'm using "you" as a general term, not directed at you personally, 2578824). And always remember to point out the good with the bad, even if it's hard to find any bit of good. If it's THAT bad of writing, then do your critique in chunks--don't identify every single tiny problem in one go, or you'll likely overwhelm the poor author. Think of critiquing like teaching...remember the way your good teachers taught you and emulate that. Avoid the methods used by any bad teachers you had.
As for TAKING critique, I've spent years and years of my life having my work critically analyzed and been bluntly told to my face that something isn't working (or something is "stupid") so many times I've lost count. It took time to adjust to the never-ending tirade, but I plowed onwards because of this simple fact: I want to improve. Even if the critique isn't phrased well (as many tend not to be, particularly on fanfic sites), I still take it under serious consideration. I'll never get better if I don't see what I'm doing wrong. I've still got a long way to go, but the only reason I'm at the level I am now is because I listen to critique--even the mean ones. Critique is the spinach of writing--it might not taste awesome going down, but it's GOOD for you.
2580538
What's with the spinach hate? :(
2582490 Well, it's too late now.
Well crud, that didn't end very well :/ Also, don't know if you can help, but any idea how to get the avatar thing to work? No matter what I try I can't get one to upload. Is there something specific you have to do?
2573966
That is indeed what I was referring to.
2578535
? My vocab is lacking or you need to be clearer. Do you not like the way we recognise that they are canonically annoying and troublemakers, or do you not like that the three main children of the show were written that way?
2583697
"Flanderizing" refers to the practice of taking a character and, rather than expanding their personalities or giving them more depth, instead boiling them down to one or two (at most) personality traits and exaggerating them to the point of ridiculousness. Trope namer, Ned Flanders from the Simpsons.
Though not necessarily in THIS story, The CMC have been terribly flanderized by fanfic writers, even more than they are on the show. it is annoying. It's a constant one-note song: "Cutie mark crusader (fill in the blank), Yay!", property damage, tree sap, hyuk hyuk. They're given some dimension here, thankfully...
Spike is of age, he's two thousand years old: problem solved. The story is over friends, sorry.
As usual, Trollestia has created an international incident by one of her many state secrets. I have to wonder why she would send an ambassador that was not in on the secret, though. Perhaps Celestia means for the secret to stay secret. But if she means to keep her secret, why did she send all of the ponies as ambassadors who will certainly put two and two together in the process of the negotiations?
Once again Arch Monarch for Life Celestia is playing her cards close to her chest and being a real plothole in the process.
2578097
You are faster than me, I only figured out that Spike was one of the missing eggs at: '"But to grant a reptilian species hair was going to require powerful magic, and this pony said she would only do it if we had something of equal value to give her in return."' But, yeah, I was hoping that Spike would not be involved in the back story of the conflict and that he would be involved in the plot in some other capacity. I thought that maybe some aspects of the lore concerning dragons and sea serpents would be explained. I do like this explanation of Spike's origin. however.
But like you I do want to know why the ancient sea serpents had dragon eggs to begin with. There are several enormous moral issues wrapped up in this story. The sea serpents pawned their freaking breeding ground for some dragon's eggs, and some dragon assented to this! Also, Celestia bought a child and used it to divine her heir, afterwards enslaving it to that heir. Celestia might have at least returned Spike after Twilight hatched him. The mother-to-her-people single hoofedly destroyed the psyche of a child and participated in a person trafficking operation. Celestia and the sea serpents are shaping up to be the worst dragon-poachers since the Chinese medicine market.
Celestia better be behind all this conflict. Celestia better be Sauron. I've been waiting an age or more to encounter an evil Celestia on this site.
2588627
I definitely wondered as well if Celestia was the one who made that deal all those years ago, but my guess right now is that it's more likely the egg came into her possession some time later on, the story behind it unknown to her, and that the whole "divine her heir" thing is a distortion that developed over time. The "predict their future with magic" bit sounds much more like how it was actually used, after all.
Obviously we don't know about many historical figures to guess from, but it could have been a pony we've never heard of, or even Celestia's mother or some such. If the pony hadn't been referred to as female, I would've guessed it was Star Swirl the Bearded, especially considering his obvious fondness for generous supplies of hair. Hmm... Maybe Star Swirl was actually a mare, and history just forgot that little detail, due to the whole beard thing. I mean, there had to be some reason the beard was noteworthy enough to be treated like part of Star Swirl's name.
But yeah, even if it was Celestia, she doesn't necessarily have any idea that an egg that came to Equestria approaching 2000 years ago has anything to do with a conflict in current days. Or maybe she was just a jerk and really does know everything. Who knows!
2578824
Thank you for the compliment!
I suppose the shortest answer I can give is "compartmentalization". When I'm actually reading the story, I enjoy it for it's own sake and just ignore errors unless they're really wrecking the experience. When it comes to writing a comment about it, I go back and reread it, but do the opposite: I ignore the reading experience and focus on anything that doesn't seem to chime right. It's a bit like music, I suppose; it can still rouse the emotions even if I'm subconsciously noticing a few flat notes. Then, I treat it according to what I thought the fic was trying to achieve, and the best way to get into that "objective" mindset is to start by noting grammatical errors I might have spotted.
The only other thing I can think of is simply making sure that, whatever criticism I write, I accompany it with a suggestion of what I think would have been more effective, and I should be fully prepared to admit that I might be utterly wrong in the more subjective parts. The Golden Rule also works wonders: I try not to write something I would be unhappy about receiving, which pretty quickly curbs any attempt to justify "tough love" comments.
Lastly, I consider it good courtesy to remember that no flaw in the author's writing style or story can reflect on them personally. Good and intelligent people can still write awful stories even if they're saints and geniuses in every other field, because writing demands proficiency in certain skills and abilities and is nowhere near as easy as some people think.
2578828
Thanks!
2582466 That's nice of you to say.
2584919
Gotcha.