• E Avocation

    Penumbra seeks gainful employment.  · Kwakerjak
    4,557 words · 6,979 views  ·  1,206  ·  16  · 

Featured In32

More Stories9

  • E Petriculture

    Twilight tries to figure out how rock farming works.
    6,716 words · 37,814 views  ·  2,768  ·  39
  • E Avocation

    Penumbra seeks gainful employment.
    4,557 words · 6,979 views  ·  1,206  ·  16
  • T Wild, Sweet & Cool

    Rainbow Dash wants to add strength training to her regimen by having Twilight Sparkle ride her.
    34,747 words · 14,738 views  ·  1,622  ·  25
  • E π

    Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight Sparkle. ("Magic Duel" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)
    13,505 words · 5,934 views  ·  862  ·  12
  • E Flash Fog

    Fluttershy must deal with an unusually thick fog as it approaches Ponyville.
    123,078 words · 13,854 views  ·  1,548  ·  29
  • T Pandelirium

    Celestia decides to attempt to reform Discord, so she taps a pony with a similar background for the job. ("Keep Calm and Flutter On" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)
    77,357 words · 12,012 views  ·  803  ·  14
  • E So, Just What Went Wrong, Anyway?

    Before Applejack's pep rally, Derpy was acting really weird... even for her. This is why.
    5,213 words · 3,337 views  ·  332  ·  5
  • E The Final Accusation: A Legal Comedy

    A dozen years after ascending to become an alicorn, Applejack rules on the case of Tiara v. FlimFlam
    21,338 words · 2,517 views  ·  356  ·  6

Blog Posts393

  • Wednesday
    Prereader Conversation: Wilderness Survival

    me 8:41 PM

    I just saw a YouTube ad for the new FarCry installment.

    Blackbelt 8:41 PM


    me 8:42 PM

    I'm disappointed that the cover of "I Will Survive" sounds nothing like Cake's version.

    (I've no interest in playing the game myself, by the way.)

    They managed to find an artist willing to record a version of the song that's actually more melodramatic than the original.

    Blackbelt 8:45 PM

    I have zero interest in Far Cry as well

    me 8:46 PM

    Right. I'm just saying that if you're going to perform "I Will Survive" without any irony whatsoever, you'd better have a disco beat in the background, because that's the only way to pull it off.

    MaskedFerret 8:49 PM


    Though, I do confess I love Cake's take on it

    me 8:50 PM

    Methinks I have a decent blog post here. Hang on a second.

    For reference, here's the trailer:

    Here's Cake:

    And here's the original version:

    9 comments · 131 views
  • Monday
    Etrian Odyssey: Untold

    So, I've been playing Etrian Odyssey: Untold on my 3DS for a while now, and I'm really hoping at least one of my readers has as well, because I've run into a problem with one of the bosses.

    I can't seem to beat the Ant Queen on Floor B12... or rather, I can't seem to get rid of the eggs in the room before facing her, because I keep running into the secondary ants that those eggs spawn, and it takes me forever to beat them, which means that the queen has time to lay more eggs that spawn more ants and even if I did manage to get rid of the eggs it would make a difference because my alchemist would be almost completely out of TP which means I wouldn't be able to beat the Ant Queen even if I tried and I am getting so goddamned sick of swearing and cursing at this game and I want to just get on with the dungeon crawling and ARRRGGGH!

    So... is there anyone who can help me out here?

    7 comments · 109 views
  • 1w, 16h
    Flash Fog: Update

    For the past few months, updates to Flash Fog have been happening at a fairly regular pace: about three times a month, since I generally have been setting the 10th, 20th, and 30th of each month as my "goal" dates to get things done. However, the next post might take a bit longer. You see, the story's almost done, but I'm still not sure where the chapter divisions are going to fall in the last few entries (or even how many chapters of story there are, to be honest). Thus, I've decided to write the rest of the story in its entirety before I post it, and therefor, it might take a little longer...

    Then again, I've been thinking about the end of this story since nearly the beginning, so for all I know it might go even faster. In any case, we'll just have to see what happens.

    2 comments · 113 views
  • 1w, 1d

    That's right, it's a teaser cartoon, which implies that another cartoon will follow shortly.

    And for any who doubt that Homestar's back for reals this time, consider that Matt Chapman left his job working on Gravity Falls so he could move closer to his brother (because one doesn't jumpstart an iconic internet site over Skype). I'm pretty sure they mean business.

    3 comments · 103 views
  • 1w, 2d
    Who likes kickass bass lines?

    More like who doesn't like them, amiright?

    Of course I am. Have some Sugarloaf.

    Side note: Sugarloaf would be a great pony name, too.

    4 comments · 110 views
  • ...

This story is a sequel to Petriculture

It's been several months since Pinkie Pie made a stunning admission about her past that permanently changed her relationship with her friends, particularly Twilight Sparkle, but life seems to have settled back to normal (well, normal by Pinkie Pie's standards, at least). However, when an old nemesis returns and ensnares Twilight in her influence, it's up to Pinkie to make things right.

This is the second story in The Petriculture Cycle. There is a TV Tropes Page for the entire Cycle here.

Cover image by Page Turner; "Princess Twilight" vector by Nianara.

First Published
1st Jul 2012
Last Modified
9th Sep 2012

i was waiting for a sequel. kool


Wow! This is amazing. Can't wait to see what happens next! :raritystarry:

This. Is. AWESOME! Instant fave! :pinkiehappy:

"...although Twilight had posited a possible connection between Pinkie’s ability to pop out of all sorts of random places and her own exceptional teleportation skills." It's called Pinkieportation!!!!!!

6:28pm EDT... the ESTIMATE we were given was 6:30



Really? I couldn't tell, since I kept getting 502 and 504 errors.

"Kvakerjack has posted a new story" :pinkiegasp:

It's here! :pinkiehappy: :yay:


Another Pinkie and Twilight fic. *beats forehead against wall* :pinkiecrazy::facehoof:

I have about a dozen stories about them lined up to read, Petriculture included, but keep getting sidetracked by other stuff. At some point here, I need to just set aside a whole day and tackle them all at once. This and its predecessor look pretty interesting, so I'll try to get to that soon.

Petriculture was good this is better I cant wait to read more

Awesome, I have been waiting for this!

Nice start, looking forward to more.

Oh hell yes! I have fond memories of Petriculture, albeit not in any great detail. Perhaps now would be a good time to go back and reread it.

Another excellent story, Kwakerjak. I look forward to see where this goes.

You know, for a while, I thought that Discord was influencing Twilight. But the Nightmare works too.

Faved, liked, waiting with bated breath for more.:pinkiehappy:

What a great blast for this first chapter ! But... what happen to Twilight ? It is her frustration who cause the return of the Nightmare ? :pinkiegasp:

I hope to see the next chapter very soon :pinkiesmile:

Another ontological road trip into the MetaEquestrian Outback. I am so happy!


You mean the fact that Nightmare Moon is listed as one of the three main characters wasn't a big enough hint?

>>842512 *blinks, looks at characters* :facehoof: That's what I get for not looking at everything carefully.

Faved, starred, watched.

I should have done that when you wrote Petriculture. :twilightsmile:

This is indeed not good. Can they save Twilight?

Wow. Didn't see that coming. Hell, Nostradamus didn't see that coming. Update soon.

This is no good.... understatement of the milenium

all I can say about this is: Shit just got Seriouly Real

Holy mother of [Deity], this is going to be epic.

Oh, this is going to be so awesome :pinkiehappy:

So, is the Nightmare wanting the information to create "imaginary" friends so it can fashion for itself a body of its own?

:pinkiegasp: ...Holy crap.  Now they have to defeat a Nightmare without an Element of Magic.  I thought Twilight's corruption came on a bit too quickly, though.  Anyway, great story and I can't wait to see what happens next!

very good!

only thing i didn't like was that i felt as if she just suddenly turned into the nightmare, with no previous hints/changes or anything at all, really feels as if there should have been at least one or two chapter before this (or making this one a lot longer) that gives something like a foreshadowing to this event. there might have been something in petriculture that i don't remember, if there was; do tell.

>>842512 Normally I avoid looking at the characters with these stories, so that I don't spoiler myself with villains or other main characters that could appear later.:twilightsmile:

For some reason, I can just picture a scene in which Spike and Pinkie wrapping Rainbow Dash in a huge hug and yelling "DADDY!!!!" at the top of their lungs.


That it was sudden shows Nightmare did a good job of hiding.

Very, very interesting so far, and I love the way you reintroduced the Nightmare, long forgotten after Discord ad the Changelings.

I just hope the story keeps itself within the adventure boundaries, and avoids any unnecessary dark and/or sad settings, so it can maintain the spirit of the show (something so many other fics forgot).


i don't think you see my point, even if she did a really good job of hiding; it doesn't change the fact that the story basically began with twilight going Nightmare, which is what i don't like. but on the other hand; we have only read one chapter, i have no idea what the author intends to do with this story, ill just have to wait and see, the opening may turn out to be really really good when i've read a couple of chapters

and as for what you said:

"Pinkie Pie /.../ couldn’t shake the odd feeling that she should have seen this coming"

what i gather from this is that pinkie did notice something at least.

Potentially unique take on Nightmare Twilight? Potentially unique take on Nightmare Twilight. :raritywink:

Huh, I saw this on the front page yesterday, but the part about it being the sequel to Petriculture must not have fit in the visible description, and I guess I didn't notice who the author was. The description I did see didn't catch my attention, though, and the name annoyed me by looking like you misspelled Inkscape, the program I use to make vectors, so I decided to pass on it.

Guess I'll be reading this after all, although "the Nightmare returns" is a theme that tends to make me hesitate a little, since I generally believe that Luna's transformation was a unique situation, and whatever caused it is resolved once and for all.

Related to petriculture? Instafave.




Dear Celestia...

Twilight has been captured by the Nightmare! Are you mare enough to rescue her?

le awesome

also, gratz on feature box

So Pinkie is the outgoing, party-loving imaginary friend for Twilight "bookworm" Sparkle while Discord is the chaotic whirlwind to Celestias boooring discipline and order.

I wonder who dreamed up the nightmare.:trixieshiftright:

Luna? Is there anything you would like to share with the class?

Huzzah! I was really rooting for you to get featured again. Glad to see it happened!


I second that emotion.

Edit: And let me add in a 'holy crap' in reaction to the first chapter.

>>843991 >>844168

That actually gets addressed in the next chapter.


The last paragraph was included there mostly to lighten the tension, since I don't want people assuming that this story will get dark. But in any case, I managed to keep Wild, Sweet & Cool from becoming a shipping fic, didn't I?


The title will make a bit more sense once I reach the end of the story.

This looks to be very good

>>844868 When she feels the super-doozy while talking to Luna, it's mentioned that this wasn't the first time she had felt a super-doozy.  The first had happened a few months earlier (my hypothesis is that this was when the Nightmare entered Twilight) and recurred several times after that.  Also, to me it sees that Twilight's extreme obsessiveness rather than just enthusiasm concerning Pinkie's origin is likely the Nightmare's influence.  Just my two cents.

I really liked Petriculture when I read it way back when and when I read it again just before beginning this.  I can't wait to see where you'll go with it!


My prediction.

Rarity: Does anypony have a plan? Just piling on top of her was admittedly a good short term solution, but she's ruining my mane!

Rainbow Dash: She's ruining my NECK! Get her off of me!

Luna: Sister, if you know of any suitable exorcism rituals, now would be a good time!

Celestia: But I don't! All the ones I know I tried on you the first time this happened, and none of them worked!

Pinkie Pie: The Nightmare only took over her mind, right? Not replaced it?

Celestia: Well yes, but I'm not sure what you're getting at here. What do you mean?

(Pinkie ties a rope around her waist and tosses the other end to Luna.)

Pinkie Pie: It means... I'm going back in!

"Wait a minute," I said.  "Was this actually foreshadowed in Petriculture?"

So I went back to that story, read it again, and did several facehoofs.  :facehoof:

I must admit, this is a scarily auspicious - or auspiciously scary - Chapter 1.

Well now. This has most definitely piqued my curiosity. Definitely gonna be looking forward to further chapters! Heh, Nightmare Twilight...




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