Chapter 6: Crazy Eights
Technically speaking, none of the scenery in Twilight Sparkle’s mind was “real,” at least in the sense that most ponies used the word. The ground, the buildings, the plants, the sky, and even the memories and ideas that populated this world were all figments of the unicorn’s imagination—that is to say, allegorical constructions meant to increase her mental efficiency so she could use her prodigious intellect to its full potential. This fact was of small comfort to the Nightmare, however, as it turned out that getting heaved against a massive pair of allegorical marble doors with enough force to shatter their hinges still managed to produce a very real sensation of excruciating pain, particularly in her now-dislocated left wing. The sudden temperature change from the frostiness of the Hall of Knowledge to the early-summer warmth of the “outside” was mildly disorienting, but the alicorn somehow managed to get to her feet just in time to once again make eye contact with her assailant.
“I... I’m s—” The Nightmare was unable to finish her sentence, as Twilight Sparkle chose that moment to unceremoniously slam her into the side of a building. Somehow, the black mare managed to stay on her hooves, but only by leaning against the wall.
“You’re sorry? Is that what you want to say? Sorry for what? For trying to murder Celestia? For lying to me? Or are you just sorry that you got caught?” The unicorn’s words only added to the pain that the alicorn felt—quite literally, as the air around the Nightmare grew more uncomfortable and restrictive as Twilight’s anger continued to grow.
The Nightmare tried to respond, but all that came out of her mouth was a series of ragged breaths. Eventually, she managed to squeeze something out: “You said that you were willing to take drastic measures.”
“I’ve been trying to to convince the Princesses to step down and let me rule Equestria. How is that not drastic?!”
The lull in the onslaught gave the Nightmare a chance to regain some of her haughty demeanor: “I was referring to more than the mere expenditure of political capital.” A more perfect illustration of how judgement can be clouded while under duress would be difficult to imagine.
“Political capital? Political capital?!” Twilight Sparkle’s horn glowed as she hurled the alicorn in the general direction of the Imagination District with enough force that she had to break into a full gallop just to make sure that she didn’t lose sight of the object of her wrath.
Ironically enough, the Nightmare landed on the cobblestones next to a marble fountain shaped in Princess Celestia’s likeness. Before today, Twilight Sparkle had assumed that the black mare’s willingness to leave it undisturbed was evidence that, despite her hostility towards her rival, the Nightmare harbored some level of respect for the Equestrian royal. Now, however, it was abundantly clear that the Nightmare’s appreciation for the artwork came from pure vanity: when she looked at it, she saw a monument that could be repurposed to celebrate her own greatness.
The unicorn continued her ranting as if nothing had happened. “You think that all I’m doing is cashing in on some... some bank account of goodwill? I’ve been risking more than my reputation; I’ve been putting my friendships with the ponies I care about the most on the line! Not just Celestia and Luna, but also Applejack! and Rainbow Dash! and Rarity! and Fluttershy! and Pinkie Pie!” As she rattled off each name, Twilight repeatedly slammed the Nightmare into the ground, a wall, or any other surface that looked solid enough to cause significant trauma. It was far more satisfying than making a checkmark on a scroll with a quill. “They’ve trusted me for so long, and you convinced me to take that trust and completely rip it to shreds! I may never fully repair the damage I’ve done to our relationships. The magic of friendship is one of the most meaningful things I’ve learned from them, and I’ve thrown it all away—do you even understand how important that is?!”
The Nightmare lay on the ground, breathing heavily. Even if she could stand up, she hadn’t bothered to try; instead, she raised her neck, looked Twilight Sparkle squarely in the eyes, and in a voice of complete and utter resignation, answered: “No.”
By now, the tears falling down Twilight’s face had grown into steady rivulets. “You... you’ve ruined my entire life, and that’s all you have to say for yourself? That you don’t understand?! That doesn’t even make sense! I want answers! What was the point of all this?!”
But it appeared that the Nightmare had given up; she simply stared at the ground, waiting for the inevitable, apparently taking some solace in the fact that she would at least be able to deny the unicorn the closure she was demanding.
“Fine,” Twilight said her pink aura charged up around her horn. “Nopony cares about you anyway. I’ll just get rid of you once and for all, and then everything can go back to normal.” The glow became brighter and brighter, to the point where it was starting to obscure the unicorn’s vision. It was time to end this. “Goodbye, Nightmare.”
“No! Stop, Twilight!”
Twilight turned around to see a white pegasus flying towards the two of them. “Surpr— I mean, Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?”
The pegasus landed and shifted back to her usual pink earth pony body shape. “I’m making sure you don’t make a mistake.”
“I’m not making a mistake. In fact, I’m making sure that the Nightmare won’t trouble anypony ever again.”
“Really? Oh, that’s good to hear. I thought you were going try to do something kooky, like killing her.”
Twilight looked confused. “That’s... that’s what I meant.”
Pinkie Pie blanched a little upon hearing this. “Oh. Then I guess it’s a good thing I showed up when I did, isn’t it?”
“What are you talking about?!” Twilight shouted. “You can’t possibly think that she deserves mercy, when she wouldn’t have given it to Celestia.”
“She doesn’t.”
The unicorn blinked away some of her rapidly drying tears. “But... but Equestria’s definitely better off without her.”
Pinkie Pie pondered this for a second or two before replying: “That’s probably true.”
“Then... does Celestia want the Nightmare brought to justice in the legal system?”
“Not really. After all, they said I could do whatever I had to do to ‘neutralize’ her, and I’m pretty sure that standing back and letting you take matters into your own hooves counts.”
“Then why are you defending her?!”
“I’m not. This has nothing to do with the Nightmare, and everything to do with you.”
“Me?”
“Twilight, killing the Nightmare might be a good thing for Equestria, but you wouldn’t be doing it for Equestria. You’d be doing it for yourself.”
“That’s not true....”
“Really? Because when you were shouting at her a while back, it sounded like you were only concerned with how she’s ruined your life, and how you are going to have to fix everything. Face it, Twilight. You only want to kill her because you’re angry at her, and I’m pretty sure that’s... well... murder.”
For a brief moment, the unicorn seemed to be thrown off by this accusation, but she managed to recover. “So what? It’s not like any jury in Equestria would convict me.”
Pinkie didn’t respond to this—not directly, anyway. “Have you seen your reflection?” she asked, pointing towards the fountain.
Confused, Twilight paced over to the pool of water and looked down, but the image she saw was not the exuberant face of Princess Celestia’s faithful student, but the cold stare of the tall, elegant unicorn who was in the midst of a power grab. Twilight Sparkle staggered backwards as she tried to make sense of this. “What... how... I don’t—”
“If you kill the Nightmare, you’ll probably get away with it. But... I’m not sure you can do it without destroying the Twilight Sparkle I care about.”
“But... I... No! No, I can’t second guess myself. This is... this needs to be done.” The mare rubbed her now-dry eyes with her hooves and returned her attention to the Nightmare, who hadn’t even bothered trying to get away. The alicorn just stared at Twilight apathetically. The glow returned to the unicorn’s horn. She gave a furtive glance back towards Pinkie Pie. “Aren’t you... um... aren’t you going to try and stop me?”
“I don’t think I could. It’s your mind, after all. Besides, you know her better than me. Maybe she really does have to go.”
Twilight sighed and returned her focus to her target. “Nightmare, you’re going to... to...” Why am I stalling? Like I said, it needs to be done! In fact, it would have been done already, if only Pinkie hadn’t butted in. Why can’t that stupid earth pony just—
A chill ran down Twilight’s spine as she realized where he train of thought was taking her. “No.... No!” The glow of her aura abruptly dissipated as the mare collapsed onto her knees. “How... when did...” Twilight Sparkle couldn’t form her sentence, but she didn’t have to; Pinkie Pie embraced her in the tightest, most loving hug she could manage.
“It’s going to be okay.”
Twilight Sparkle wanted to thank Pinkie Pie for being there, but she couldn’t. She wanted to apologize for letting herself get carried away by her emotions, but she couldn’t. She wanted to wake up and learn that this had all been a horrible dream, but all she could do was put her face into Pinkie Pie’s shoulder and let her tears escalate into shuddering sobs.
Twilight wasn’t certain how much time passed, but eventually, the tears subsided enough for her to speak again. “What... What am I going to do? I can’t— She can’t stay in my head, and if we use the Elements... she’ll just... she’ll just find somepony else and do it again.” When the earth pony didn’t answer, Twilight finally raised her head. “Pinkie Pie?”
Pinkie was looking straight into the Nightmare’s eyes with a strange look on her face. The unicorn had to blink away the last remaining salty drops before she recognized it as the rarest of all Pinkie Pie’s facial expressions: neutrality. “Do you... do you have an idea?”
“Not really,” Pinkie Pie eventually said. Her mouth turned up into its familiar smile. “I do have a hunch, though. I’m just going to need your help to make it work....”
* * * * *
“It’s been almost an hour.” Rainbow Dash hadn’t really needed to say this out loud, as everypony else in the room had been casting uneasy glances at the clock on the wall every few seconds, but the tension was getting unbearable. “Don’t you guys think we oughta do something?”
“Do you have a suggestion?” Rarity asked.
“Uh, well, maybe we could check to see if Twilight’s still in the washroom.”
“Fluttershy just did that ten minutes ago. Is there any reason to think that she isn’t still sitting in front of the mirror with her eyes shut?”
“Hey, a lot can change in ten minutes!”
“Maybe we oughta wake up Pinkie Pie,” Applejack said. “She mighta got caught in Twilight’s head. Maybe she’s in trouble.”
Princess Luna dismissed this idea. “I am quite confident that Pinkie Pie will have no problems exiting Twilight’s mind should the danger prove too great.”
“But what if the Nightmare’s gettin’ to her, too?”
Celestia sighed. “That’s a risk we took by attempting this. If the Nightmare manages to get the Element of Laughter to defect... but thinking that way helps nopony. Twilight gave Pinkie Pie an intelligence equal to her own, and it took months for the Nightmare to corrupt her. The chances of the same thing happening to Pinkie Pie in less than an hour are slim at best.”
“I wish Cadance was here,” Shining Armor said absently.
“You really think it’s going to take that much power to take Twilight down?” Rainbow Dash asked.
The stallion grunted in mild irritation. “I meant for emotional support. This isn’t easy, you know.”
“Of course I know,” the pegasus responded. “That’s why I’ve been trying to figure out what we can actually do instead of sitting on our docks.”
“Um, well, Pinkie Pie’s still smiling,” Fluttershy said, pointing at the still-snoozing earth pony. “That, um, that’s probably good, right?”
Princess Celestia sighed. “All we can do now is—” Her sage advice was cut off by the sound of slow hoofbeats from the general direction of the washroom. The committee members all turned towards the noise and saw Twilight Sparkle—not the glamorous, svelte unicorn, but the normal-sized mare they were accustomed to seeing—walk into the room with her ears drooping and her head hung low.
“Um, Twilight?” her brother asked. “Are you ready to continue?”
Twilight lifted her head and looked Shining Armor in the eyes. It looked like she’d spent a long time crying her eyes out, leaving her weary and emotionally drained, which was strange, because Fluttershy hadn’t seen anything like that when she’d checked on her only a few minutes earlier. “No,” she replied. The unicorn lifted the Element of Magic off of her head, and floated it over to the Princesses. “Here. I... I don’t....” Twilight Sparkle couldn’t seem to finish her sentence, so she just trailed off and sat on the floor.
Applejack walked up to her friend and put a foreleg around her shoulder. “You gonna be okay, Sugarcube?”
“I don’t know,” Twilight said, not bothering to raise her head. She let out a huge sigh. “It was all a lie. Pinkie Pie figured it out. I thought we’d formed a solid alliance, but it was all just an elaborate setup to replace Celestia. Believe it or not, she actually looks just like her, under her helmet. But I... I fell for it.”
“You were hardly the first pony to be deceived by the Nightmare,” Luna replied.
“Is that your way of telling me I’ve been pardoned?”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “What reason could we possibly have for pardoning you?”
Twilight sighed again; she should have known better than to think she could get away with something like this scot-free. “What’s my punishment, then?”
The Princess of the Moon chuckled. “You misunderstand, Twilight Sparkle. We have no reason to pardon you, because pardoning you would imply that you had committed a crime in the first place.”
“What?! But, but I tried to take over!”
“And instead of gathering an army and trying to stage a coup d’etat, or using the Nightmare’s power to commit some act of violence, you presented us with a formal proposal, which is precisely what we requested of you,” Celestia said. “It is no crime to obey the request of a Princess.”
“I suppose another way to put it is that there is no need to pardon you, but we do grant you our forgiveness,” Luna added.
“I... I’m not sure I deserve that.”
Celestia sighed. “Let me guess: you still think that you might be a better ruler.”
Twilight nodded, once again hanging her head in shame. “I... I was so sure I’d convince you to see things my way today, but... I don’t think I’ve ever failed so completely before.”
“I wouldn’t say that your efforts today were a complete failure.”
The unicorn looked up at her mentor, who had a familiar impish grin on her face. “What do you mean?”
“Twilight Sparkle, did you not notice that none of the questions we asked challenged the first part of your argument? That our main objection was to the idea that you were qualified to rule Equestria?”
“Um... now that you mention it... that was a little surprising. I was certain you’d try to defend your decision to abandon your studies.”
Celestia’s smile grew warmer. “I probably would have, were it not for the fact that you argued that point so persuasively, that my sister and I both agreed with you by the time you were finished. You were absolutely right, Twilight. It was a mistake to stop investigating Discord’s manifestation, and Luna and I should have given you all of the support we could provide. You changed our minds, which ironically demonstrated our fitness to continue as rulers of Equestria, by the terms you set forth in your own argument. As for your own qualifications, had you been trying to persuade us to appoint you as a chancellor, today would have been an unqualified success for you, but good advisors do not always make the best rulers. While I am certain that you would perform admirably when dealing with a dire emergency, I don’t think the daily slog of mundane politics would fit your personality very well.”
Twilight wasn’t entirely certain that she agreed, but then, she supposed she owed the Princesses a chance to prove their argument (especially considering what the alternative could have been). “So... what does all that mean?”
“It means that we intend to give you our full support,” Luna said.
“You... you really mean it?”
“Of course. We’ll even give you access to our research.”
“Oh... um, thank you,” Twilight replied uneasily as she pondered whether to tell the Princesses that she had never actually needed to see their research in the first place.
Celestia seemed to pick up on this. “That way, you can double-check to make sure that the Nightmare didn’t falsify anything she told you.”
“I see.” The unicorn hadn’t thought of that, either. “Well, in any case, thank you so much.” She finally allowed herself to smile.
“Of course,” the Princess of the Sun continued, “before we allow you to do so, we’ll need reassurance that the Nightmare has been dealt with.”
“Oh, right. Well, that’s sort of complicated.”
“Why would it be complicated?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Either you’ve already blasted her into smithereens, or you need our help to do it, right?”
“No. She’s still around. She’s just not in my head anymore.”
“Huh? Then where...?” The pegasus trailed off when Twilight Sparkle silently pointed a hoof towards the still-sleeping Pinkie Pie. “No way.... You’ve gotta be kidding me!”
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It's
time!
Nope, I'm not done yet. I just split the final chapter again.
Oh Gods, that Poor, Poor Nightmare.
1207553 I think you have the wrong end of the stick, my freind
Oh god yes. This is perfect.
Makes sense. Twilight couldn't maintain the necessary objectivity to be the Nightmare's jailer after this. Outright destroying her is out as explained in the chapter. If anypony's immune to the Nightmare's tricks its Pinkie Pie. She's an empathic genius if redeeming the Nightmare is remotely possible she has a better chance than anypony else.
Sweet mother of mercy. She is going to get driven mad, someone needs to save that poor mare. They need to get the Nightmare out of Pinkie before she corrupts her. That poor, poor Nightmare is never going to be the same again.
1207574 Ups, no fair, seems you did it first.
1207562 Is not like is going to happen again. This is the last time, isn't it? Who I'm I kidding, I give it a 50/50 chance. Well, I guess if the story is larger and better because of it we can handle and extra chapter, or 3.
Does this mean pinkie will gain allicorn powers?
Nightmare Pinkie.
Party Eternal.
I'm ok with that.
1207562scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw909_MLP_Celestia_giving.gif
this is what I think of cliffhangers.
Does this mean what I think it means? Plus I think it would be interesting if you have Pinkie become Surprise sometimes awake
Awesome! Update! Yay!
Oh dear - I can only imagine existing in Pinkie's mindscape must be like living in a world ruled by a well-intentioned Discord.
They might not wish to cause you any harm or ill, but rather to cheer you up and make you happy, but you will be driven totally insane anyway.
Ha! Putting the Nightmare in Pinkie's head just gives me the impression of that warehouse scene at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark...no better place to lose it!
And I can just hear Pinkie going "we have top ponies working on it. Top. Ponies."
WHAT DID YOU DO TWILIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmm.. maybe killing her would be a mercy. Feel kinda bad for Nightmare.
That Twilight beat-down was epic! And I don't even feel remotely sorry for the Nightmare, either... Totally deserved!
Anypony have a clue at we call nightmare Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie is a better pony than I. I would have killed the nightmare.
The area between these paragraphs get a little confusing because you don't say who's speaking. That's my only problem with this chapter, though.
1207607 Read it again. SLOWLY.
1207662 I agree.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=cakkDjbBKmg&vq=medium#t=153]
Sweet Cider
Haha, jailed inside Pinkie's head, nice.
1207902 - Noted and rectified.
How could you! she just... how could you! No pony deserves that fate!
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIN_1GPbViA]
In case of incoming battle inside Pinkie's mind.
Stuck in Pinkie's head for eternity?
The worst punishment imaginable.
1207779 1207857 - Ahem.
1207562
So this is Zeno's fanfiction now?
1207574
Quoted for truth. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png
...also, why is this chapter called "Crazy Eights", when it is only chapter six? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
“Really? Because when you were shouting at her a while back, it sounded like you were only concerned with how she’s ruined your life, and how you are going to have to fix everything. Face it, Twilight. You only want to kill her because you’re angry at her, and I’m pretty sure that’s... well... murder.”
Um, NO.
The validity of executing a murderer is not undone by the feelings of the people performing the execution. I guaran-damn-tee you, that more than one executioner got express satisfaction out of sending some sonuvabitch off this mortal coil. Does not change the fact that the sonuvabitch needed killin.'
"Feeling angry" doesn't make it murder. Killing a person that doesn't deserve it, that makes it murder.
Welp, I can't see Pinkie going Nightmare... I also have absolutely NO clue whats going to happen next chapter. Should be interesting...
FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
*table flip*
cliffhangers!
1208108
For an individual like Nightmare Moon at least. I think a few others would consider that a reward rather than a punishment.
Okay. Now Nightmare is inside Pinkie's head...IT'S PLAYTIME!!!
1207657 Who needs 'em? She's got imaginary friend powers!
1208297 - First of all, the Nightmare is an attempted murderer, not an actual murderer. Secondly, the reason Pinkie Pie stopped Twilight is because she was concerned with Twilight's emotional well-being. Whether or not Twilight's action would have been morally or legally justifiable is completely irrelevant in this context.
I do not want to be nightmare right now
1207574
You'r an evil, evil author for doing that................. Again!
Anyway I can't wait for the next one!
I eagerly await the next(final?) chapter.
The nightmare will lose her sanity with relentless party.
Geez, how long was that last chapter going to be before it split?
1208108
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw299_1298776425927.jpg
Understanding the powers that created Discord and Pinkie Pie is CRITICAL!!!
After all, what could be better than finding the means by which everypony could give birth to their own imaginary friend... all of whom could warp reality in various ways of their own free will once once loosed from their creators' control...
Yeah, don't see how that could possibly go wrong. (INSERT EXTREME SARCASM HERE)
And Twilight thinks she's so smart... *scoff scoff scoff!*
clif hanger? i diddent check to see if this was compleated it was soo pinkly awsome 5 hooves to you!
1208297
Killing a person as an exercise of the authority of the state, after proper legal proceedings, as punishment for offenses against the state, is an execution.
Killing a person on one's own, without trial, as punishment for offenses against oneself, is murder.
1207882
The Party Overlord.
dafuq man
Poor Nightmare indeed. This is like Inception, it's being inside a pony's mind which was once inside another pony's mind. So, a "pony" within a pony, within another pony...
1209040
Technically that supposes that the state has gained that authority. It couldn't possibly assign itself that authority, and in theory even the people (collectively) which would be assigning the authority to it do not themselves technically have the authority to assign it either. So, in some sense, goes the argument against capital punishment (as I understand it): no one has the authority to end someone's life, so they can't exercise that kind of punishment on a person even if they do deserve in the sense of an eye for an eye style justice.
1208297
Uh, yes. If an executioner goes off and kills someone because they made his life rather horrible socially (not a crime worthy of the death penalty in most countries), without due process, without involving the courts and the police, that is murder, even if said criminal also committed crimes (which the executioner doesn't deign to mention as a reason to kill the criminal, btw) that might carry the death penalty.
1208362
Case in point: Discord. Chaos, chaos everywhere.
1209323
(in response to the argument against capital punishment) ... OBJECTION!
I would argue that, in the point of view of almost any religion, the respective deities have given crimes for which the death penalty is deserved - and if they do exist, they would therefore have the authority to take someone's life, as they created mankind! Therefore, they have the right to assign the authority to execute criminals to those who represent them! Therefore... capital punishment shall henceforth be carried out... BY THE CHURCH!
1209390 sieurin, it could be argued that, in light of the fact that Pinkie was pretty much authorized to use any means necessary to end Nightmare's threat, Twilight was acting as her agent when killing Nightmare as a result of Pinkie turning Twilight against Nightmare. But as the author said, the reason Pinkie stopped her in the first place was for Twilight's psychological well-being, not because of legal ramifications.