• Member Since 1st Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 26th, 2021

Cocknie Thug


very good at writing very bad things

Comments ( 42 )

derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/4/25/881880__safe_rainbow+dash_screencap_animated_angry_reaction+image_faic_tanks+for+the+memories_spoiler-colon-s05e05_rage.gif

Goddamn it, I was gonna write a story about this pic! Fuck, now I gotta bump that up the list of fics to write after finals.

7763288

This site needs all the Cadance face-fucking it can get. The more fics, the merrier!

gotta link to this pic?

7763312

don't think i'm allowed to link on fimfic. go on derpibooru, search for "artist:sundown, cadence"

7763318 can't seem to find it

Dammit, I fapped to one of these again. You dark clopfic writers are fucking magicians; the more morally vapid and shamelessly cruel these stories get, the better they are. Although I always regret reading this shit when I'm done, I keep wanting more every time. Then I'll go about my normal day to pretend that I'm not a sick fuck for a couple of hours, until I inevitably get back to this shit because consenting and romantic straight sex stories aren't even slightly arousing anymore. Keep doing what you're doing, I guess. :ajbemused:

7763294 Well I'll make my own fic of face-fucking Cadance! With blackjack and hookers!

7763522

I cant wait to read it!

I love you

I am triggered by that dislike bar :flutterrage:

Well that was intense. You certainly are very descriptive about the whole encounter! I liked getting her perspective on the matter, and her cheerful thoughts at the beginning contrasted with he much darker theme of the rest of the story. The dirty bits (Which consist of nearly the entire story) are very well written, and keep me interested even when the fetishes step out of line with things I'm interested in.

Critique, thoughts:

There were a lot of borderline medical terms, but really there are only so many ways to describe a cock going down a throat before you have to start getting creative. So it's very understandable. Plus, for the people into this sort of thing, accurate descriptions might be the important fixer. There are several different types of readers, and this story would appeal to the readers who like having details and exact scenario descriptions. Spatial thinkers if you will. For instance, you describe looks and smells in great detail; most every paragraph focuses on the physical aspects of the scenario.

Fear doesn't crop up until the human is already face-fucking her, and immediately after she muses on the scent of human musk. Cadence is very clinical, and surprisingly calm about the whole thing. She never seems overly concerned over the apparent betrayal, or seem to feel any semblance of anger. Since that would be a human reaction, you might want to identify that she doesn't or can't get angry. She cries, she chokes, she coughs, but she's never sad or empathetic. Occasionaly she muses about something strange while being fucked, but it's never the focus. The focus is always physical. That being said, physical WORKS for this story. So while it's not something I would like writing, (I'm always interested in the emotional states of my characters, probably too much and too poorly conveyed) it works for what it's meant to.

This story allows a spatial thinker to create a physical description of the scenario, to include pain and other observations of what she's sensing. It's great if the physical is what gets you off. It's a little more complex if your not a spatial thinker, but an emotional or intuitive thinker. An intuitive thinker would get frustrated at all this needless detail. Take this paragraph:

"The cart was a flat wooden platform on four trolley wheels. Two metal poles rose up from the left and right side of the platform. These poles were connected by a third metal pole with a metal hoop in the middle, perpendicular to the floor. The hoop was just wide enough for a filly's neck to fit through, and just high enough that a filly could stand on her hindlegs on the platform with her head sticking out through the hoop."

While it's excellently descriptive, which is great for spatial thinkers, it's not so good for anybody that isn't a spatial thinker. They have to keep the image of the trolley in their mind, read the next sentence, construct some poles, read the next sentence, connect the poles with a hoop, read the next sentence (While keeping this constructed image in their mind), Adjust the width of the hoop, and maybe the trolley, lift it up and down to size it for a filly, then put the filly on her hind legs. For somebody who is not a spatial thinker, this is an effort in willpower and will either be ignored or completely take them out of the story. You could easily say something like "A devious contraption designed to keep a filly restrained on her hind legs." This is the other extreme, and would appeal to an intuitive thinker, who could then imagine the device as necessary for the story. A spatial thinker who likes having the details fed to them would be taken out and confused by such a short description for an obviously elaborate harness.

This isn't negative critique, it's just comments on how your story is constructed. I don't really have a "fix" Because it's not broken for what it is. You seem to be a spatial thinker, and so write excellent stories for those kind of folks. I can be spatial, can be emotive, and can be intuitive. It depends on my mood, and greatly alters my writing and the enjoyment I get out of stories. I'm sure there are other types of thinkers, and I don't understand them, so hopefully somebody with more knowledge/references is willing to step up.

As far as the fetish content, I really enjoy bondage, helplessness, rape, etc. The only thing I'm not super into is the piss, but I am the last person to judge about that. lol.

Defintitely marked it up, faved it, and gonna check it once in a while to be reminded of excellent descriptions. I'm excited for the rest of these! Sorry about the long comment, but I just wanted to give you my rambling thoughts on it. I can tone down the critique aspect if you'd like, I get that for some people it's a downer.

I'm so addicted to consuming dead doves now

7763643

pervert.

anything you really liked about this one?

7763812

it's one of the weird ones that has more faves than likes, which frankly confuses me...

7763928

this is a really awesome and useful comment but I haven't woken up enough yet to coherently say why. for now i'll just say thanks, and that i'll hopefully send you a more detailed PM about it later

7764202
permanent bondage is awesome
and the whole being stuck in liquids and have to drink them to breath (I know she could have taken a breath anyways, but ill imagine it was different) thats like my second favorite fetish, my first being consensual hand hold (f***ed up I know)

Great as usual. And it's going to be series? Awesome!

You write some fucked up shit. And I like it.

Now every time I see the line 'Dead dove do not eat.' I know the story's going to be a fun one lol:pinkiecrazy:

i feel so sick the begining was ok but FLURRYHEART WTF IS WRONG W/ U:pinkiesick::fluttershyouch::pinkiesick:

7765295

whats wrong with me is that i have no morals and the thought of a ten-ish yr old filly being forced to drink spit, cum and piss while her mother watches helplessly really arouses me

2/10 it's ok I guess. I mean, seriously; you have these 3 super sexy pony princesses - plus one twiggy sprinkles and one top quality broodmare-to-be cock warmer - to do whatever you want with them and all you do is put their glorious bodies in cages to use only their mouths over and over while their glorious ponut and supreme vagoo go completely ignored? And SHARE them with as many people as you can!? That's complete bollocks, terrible, terrible waste of plot(s).

7764204 i didnt notice that more people like it now. This pleases me :twilightsmile:

This has a lot of my kinks all rolled up into one story... Especially the one-off part about Twilight being used as a private urinal. I eagerly await your next piece. :)

Not bad I suposse, are you going to make a sequel?

7807830

yup, several eventually. got one with Trixie in the works already

You're one sadistic, moral-less bastard. While I will admit to having enjoyed several of your other stories, I'm not depraved enough to like this one that much. Regardless, I know there are people who like this sort of thing, so just do you man.

*grabs the little princess's breathing tubes*
*YANK*

7865933

she drinks pretty quickly when she's pushed, i'll be honest

Loved this, and I hope to see a continuation some day.

So thanks for that.

8297748
The whole sense of desperation and despair without devolving into a cliche mindbreak situation. Introducing demonfilly as a mental/emotional torment more than another stocks candidate was pretty classy, too.

I want to see a sequel with at least two princesses not completely losing themselves and fighting back in whatever meager ways they have available, only for the lot to be freed by an exterior force. What honestly intrigues me most about these sorts of fics is the mental trauma after the fact and how the characters deal with it going forwards. There is no way to "deal" with an experience like this that's both healthy and realistic. At least not for magic cartoon horse royalty. Who gave up and accepted everything as somehow justified? Who lost the ability to do anything for themselves, convinced by the rescue that they're naturally helpless. Who were convinced they're damaged and disgusting? Who became a seething ball of hatred? Who turned inwards and utterly catatonic? Who figured it was just another rapefic Wednesday, chillaxed , and enjoyed the fresh protein?

So thanks for that.

8305740
The aftereffects don't really grip me. It's not my wheelhouse and besides, I'd never top HamGravy or tailsopony in that regard. It's the degradation and objectification in the moment that fascinates me.

Everyone has a fetish that they have a lot of trouble accepting that they have, and this is one of mine. Intellectually, I feel absolutely disgusted by the content of this story (in the sense that I would be horrified if it happened in real life)... but fuck me if my cock couldn't get any harder than it is right now. It's like, I wish this didn't turn me on, but it does.

8460665
Oh, uh, spoilers to people who haven't read it, I guess.

The permanent bondage part, where Cadence realizes that she and the other princesses will never, ever be able to leave and that the healing/stasis spell + gel combo will keep them alive for as long as the spell is active. I don't know why it turned me on, man, those 4 are some of my favourite poners and I was sad to see them stuck like that. Fetishes are weird.

7763410
Can you pm me it as well?

Even though I don't quite understand the "dead dove do not eat" thing, I would love to see a continuation of this; stuff like this allows me to release my sadistic maledom and femsub urges.
In fact, I believe there should be more of this kind of thing, in text form, image form and video form; it allows people to release socially-negative urges in a safe manner - as in, without hurting anyone else. I guess I'm a utilitarian, when it comes to this topic.

Login or register to comment