Literally a guy who likes games and tv. I write Dystopia/Dark Scenarios.
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Finn the human, one of the greatest heroes in the land of Ooo, is alone; in a new, unsuspecting world with none of the hardships and pain from his own. He must find a way to fight his past and prevent the arrival of a force; strong enough to wipe out species from the face of planets. And he will do that by any means necessary, even if it costs him himself.
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It's good. I see this story going somewhere.
Don't think I've seen a story like this before, but I like where it's heading. Keep up the good work!
I haven't watched much of Adventure Time but I'm assuming this has something to do with the Lich?
I have plans to actually completely finish Adventure Time eventually... I just want to know when in the Adventure Time universe is this?
9549808
Around season 6 of Adventure Time; except there are several key differences
Season 5-6 of MLP
9549843
Thank you
Seems like a good start so far. I'm definently interested.
A bit of a opps here
9556076
Bigopps
Autocorrect hates me
I fix now.
*begins fixing*
*ends fixing*
9556111
Glad i was able to help.
Ouch!
Oh, crap.
Hoo boy, this is REALLY getting intense
removing the limb is the 'cure' in this case
This is gonna be good
i cant wait to see what happens next
WAIT, hold ypur horses. Lemme grab my popcorn
9588600
*Cough* *Cough*
*Breathes in*
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Hi this is a great story and I can't wait to see more
what does that spell translate to?
9599603
The lyrics to Country Roads
9599942
Lol. That is so fitting for what the spell does.
Next Chapter is looking to be around ~4000 words, maybe a bit more.
The chapter ends on an incomplete sentence, otherwise good chapter.
9615384
My god, I will fix that asap
wait, it says near the end he called his grass sword down to his left hand...
and then reached for his Finn sword with his left hand...
NANI!? DUAL WEILDING WITH THE SAME HAND!?
While it's pretty good some things need a bit touching up. The dialogue is the one Tisa when two charcters are talking thier dialogue should be split up in different paragraphs or lines. It is terribly frequent but when it does come up it breaks up otherwise nicely flowing dialogue.
Try to stretch out some of the scenes you have, the dialogue feels rushed a bit and the action scenes jump around alot.
The last thing is if you don't have one already is to try and find a editor to look over what you write. Getting another to look over your work is never a bad idea and can help catch some of those harder to see errors.
Besides that the story has been pretty good so far.
The Ice Crown looking for a new wearer perhaps?
Hey guys, I am going to be taking a break (10 chapters of SCP Breakout exactly) to rejuvenate the creativeness. It's a sorta-rule I promised myself to do in order to not get burned out.
I hope y'all understand.
Thanks!
9649376
Nevermind, can't get this story off my mind, gonna start soon.
Keep to one character per paragraph.
9701226
Ye, I am currently going on and editing the earlier chapters for mistakes like that.
9701249
I'm in the last few episodes of season 5, exactly how far into adventure time do i have to be to understand this story? (either way i'm hype to read this.)
9713398
To the end of season 6
9556111
9624965
Really? That doesn't sound like Finn to me...
9719261
Take into account that he's lost practically everything to the Lich. That's my reasoning.
I like this
9729958
Why thank you
Might as well burn the castle.
9740330
Burn the world
Not bad it's well written (Despite the occasional fuck-ups with spelling) and enjoyable.
Now, Begins the hardest part of reading. Waiting for the next chapter.
9599942
Then there can be only destruction to come
9792256
Mind if I join you in waiting?
I'll bring the customary Tea and Biscuits with ample discussion of the weather.
9802185
Theirs always room for more people to wait.
So sit and join me in my waiting.
Don't you think the RD scenes are a bit to ridiculous? I mean "No one" wants to ask her questions or take her seriously at all?
Good story, over all, by the way.
Looking forward to more.
The Monk
“Puberty was a curse for those inflicted with it, and boundless amusement for others who survived the process.” -Scarheart