Chaotic Dreams

by Czar_Yoshi

Troubled Tricksters

Starlight Glimmer rubbed her eyes, staring into a cavernous expanse of nothingness.

There were no walls, no sky, and nothing to see for thousands of miles before the horizon gave way to clouds of inky smoke and impossible shapes... or perhaps it was just a few hooflengths in front of her muzzle. The floor was there, and it could have born any number of patterns. She wasn't sure if it was flat or the steepest cliff, and it didn't desire to tell her.

Several colorful flames materialized in front of her face. Unlike the rest of the things that were- or perhaps weren't- in this place, she knew instantly what these were. She stretched a hoof out, a tear falling from the corner of her eye. "No... You're leaving me?"

With an iron frown, she looked at the gray equals sign on her flank. Try as she might, it wouldn't budge. She couldn't even light her horn in this place.

The flames danced and swayed before her muzzle, and she couldn't tell if they were moving or merely changing in size.

Fear not, my little pony. They are not leaving you.

Starlight spun, face lifting. There, to her side, was another flame... or, at least, the shadow of one. It danced and sparked with a color unlike any in the world, simultaneously everything and nothing. It was not gray, it was not monochrome, yet she couldn't even identify one of the different components which made it up. Even trying to look at it made her feel as if she had lost all semblance of depth perception, as if it was less a thing than a hole in space, leading to realms unknown. Now that she thought about it, she wasn't sure she was looking at it at all, as if her eyes strayed over it and magically snapped to the far side.

"I haven't seen you in forever! Why are you here now, and not when I needed help earlier?"

Do you not need help now?

"Well... yes." She bowed her head.

Fear not, Starlight Glimmer, the flame said. I cannot detect any of Sunset Shimmer's influence in your mind, aside from a bit of pain-dulling.

She sighed, and looked to her flank. "How do I get it back?"

The same way you got it in the first place.

Hanging her head, Starlight closed her eyes. "Then it's no use. That place probably doesn't even exist anymore..."

I would not be so certain. Things such as these tend to be extremely difficult for the well-intentioned to get rid of, and even harder for the wicked to hide. It may take some doing, but I am certain you could find it once again.

"How do I even start? I'm almost dead, I have nothing! Do you have any idea how ruined I am right now?"

Shhhh. The flame cut her off. I cannot protect you in the waking world, but here, I can at least assure you that you remain yourself. Your situation is not admirable, but you have not lost yet. And for what it is worth, I believe Sunset when she says she has no intent to hurt you. You have time. And should you become lost, I will be here in your dreams to remind you of who you are.

"Lost?" Starlight growled. "I gave up! I gave up and I meant it! I'm tired of trying to be something more than a pawn in a machine and getting my plot kicked over and over for it! I'm tired of being nothing but an instrument of revenge, fighting things that are in the past and can't be changed! I never wanted to be a martyr, I'm so far past caring about your dumb idealistic crusade you don't even know, and for all I know, Sunset was telling the truth! She did spare me, after all. Maybe she really was possessed by her Cutie Mark. Maybe she really doesn't want to be who she is. All I want is to get my friends and live out the rest of my life..."

Do you count Twilight among your friends?

Starlight hung her head. "I gave up on her, and she gave up on me. I had to be saved from her by Sunset."

Ask her to help you. She was emotional. She will still forgive you. Perhaps her knowledge of magic can help you find what you seek. As a professional hero, perhaps their paths have already crossed.

Starlight frowned. "But I'd have to mislead her, and then I'd be no better than Sunset!"

Would you? You could simply tell her the truth. If it is compelling enough for you, then why not her, too?

Starlight scoffed bitterly. "As if she'd ever believe a story like mine. I wouldn't! I only know it because I lived it..."

Then let her live it too, the flame answered. Do you not possess the tools to do so?

Breath catching in her throat, Starlight's eyes grew wide. "I... I do! The time spell..."

Indeed, said the flame. You spent a lot of effort constructing that spell, and there is much more it has yet to do for you. Tell Twilight the truth. Show Twilight why you are who you are. And for now, do not concern yourself with Sunset Shimmer. There is nothing you can do, nor perhaps anything that needs being done.

"It's... not a nice story," Starlight muttered. "Would she even want to see it?"

Twilight Sparkle is resilient. You have nothing to show that she will not understand. Have you not put her through countless trials yourself, including this past day?

"I... Yes..." Starlight said, cowed. She folded her ears.

Then I will return tomorrow night. Is there anything else you wished to ask me?

Starlight nodded. "What will happen to..." She pointed at the normal, colorful flames dancing near her.

They are still with you, the dark flame said. You cannot feel them or reach them now, but one day, you will have them back. I promise.

"Thank you..." Starlight closed her eyes. "Could you, maybe... give me a good dream, before I wake up? I'm lonely..."

Of course I can. Good night, my little pony.

Hairline cracks began appearing in the world around her, streaming with light. As they widened, Starlight thought she saw swirling, pulsing galaxies and cosmos, and then a verdant skyline opened up before her, blooming into existence like a picnic sheet stretched across a field.

Starlight stood atop a familiar mountain. She breathed, and knew what she'd find when she turned around, a soft smile spreading on her face.

Thank you, she thought. But you're wrong about one thing.

With a hoof, she traced a familiar design in the grass beneath her, then another, and another. Her ears registered a distant magical humming, and in the valley below, streaks of prismatic light arced up from the ground, flashing along the contours of what Starlight knew to be the edge of Equestria. She stared into the sky, and the clouds were wild, towering a mile across and just as high, making the bite-sized puffs of home look like simple toys with which pegasi could play. Home... She could feel her eyes adjusting to the higher contrast provided by the blues and greens and whites and grays and sheer detail of this place already. Familiar voices echoed behind her, and she cupped her ears back, ready to lose herself to a night of pretending.

I'm going to concern myself with Sunset Shimmer.

Comments

[Shimmer Shy]

This was SUCH an amazing story- I loved it so much! Kinda sad it had to come to an end, but all good things do, don't they?

This deserves more attention. I would've expected it to get at least over 10 likes.

[Czar_Yoshi]

7946098 I'm glad someone enjoyed it all the way to the ending. Thanks!

This is hardly the end, though. There will... eventually be a sequel, though things are a bit in limbo at the moment. As for the attention, I've been avoiding adding it to groups or doing anything for cover art until I know it's finished and I'm happy with it, and that makes it fly somewhat under the radar.

[Cursed Quill]

could have born any number of patterns.

borne
Well, I liked it…though the exact duplicate cutie mark seems unlikely. Perhaps a sun, stylized wih points, and six stars about it?
Some things I'm still not sure of: Why was she only able to manipulate some objects? What enabled her to leave the body? If it was all a dream, why does she take as read the stuff happening therein telling what her mark could do? After all, one's doubts can have literal force in a dream. How could the diary reach an outside line and get answers? I suppose Starlight may be blamed for causing a portal that could bring Twi into the drream

The action scenes were a bit long, but I liked it.
the ktnhchehek speech was a bit excessively used. It might work better in animation.

[Czar_Yoshi]

8130051 Sorry for the somewhat late reply. Much of the reason for things that were left unexplained is that I originally intended for this to have a sequel, focusing extensively on things like how the Cutie Marks worked, how Starlight's spell worked and exactly why Starlight hated Sunset so much.

..."Originally" as in "supposed to be 35k, then grew a ton, then decided 60k in that it would stand better as a completely separate story that doesn't even include Sunset." It'll still be a looong time before I have that one ready for publication, and even when I do it won't have much of anything to do with this one, or even be continuous period. So, alas, some of this lore will remain unexplained forever, in case I want to reuse those ideas down the road. I'll probably do a blog about that story once it gets a little closer to completion, though.

[NicLove]

Before I read this, what is the Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

[Czar_Yoshi]

8351890 Explosions, existential crises and lots and lots of angst. Maybe some other stuff I've forgotten about, too. But when I say explosions, I mean about half the story is spent trying not to get smashed or roasted, and the angst is to the degree that pretty much every line Sunset says is either yelling at a villain, wallowing in self-pity, or telling someone else to cheer up. To be fair, her situation merits it, but... still...

It does get pretty bad. Some have apparently loved it, and there are a few scenes and ideas I still really like, but I'll be the first to say this story really isn't that great. It can't decide what genera it wants to be, it has no sense of dramatic pacing, it was rushed, and in general it's way more ambitious than I was able to handle at the time I wrote it. It also ends on a cliffhanger/sequel tease that's never going to get resolved, and probably needs a Sex tag, too.

Read it if you want, but that's my warning. This is far from my best work.