Death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back.
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After a long night of driving, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle stop at a hotel. Inside, they meet the hotel's owner—a peculiar man named Harold.
However, in order to stay at the hotel, they must stay for five days. Realizing the warmth of the indoors beats the inside of a car, they decide to stay at Harold's Homicidal Hotel of Happiness.
Edited by TheWraithWriter
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The premise I guess is interesting. Don't understand yet to why there is a five day policy. Hopeful that it isn't a reference for Fnaf.
The characters seem like what they would be from the show, though I don't think they'll willingly be ok with all the red flags Harold here is raising. Idk if they're too ignorant and close minded or not, but it felt a little odd.
There are some grammatical errors, but every story has some.
Overall, it's interesting, and it got my attention for now. Have my like.
7762928 Never played FNaF and never cared to. So, don't worry, it isn't.
As for them being ignorant, I tried to make it a situation where the risk of driving through a blizzard was a worse idea than staying in a hotel owned by a really odd fellow. Granted, I probably didn't do the best job at that, but I tried.
That said, I'm glad I have your attention! I hope that you enjoy the rest!
Good humour. You have my interest
Well, that's an interesting premise for sure. A little heavy on the
foreshadowingmorbid humor maybe, but that aside, pretty good work overall.I'm curious to see where this is gonna go. Keep it up!
8041590 This is something I regret not keeping unpublished. Not because I'm unhappy with it, but because I put it up withoutas much practice at the sort of story it is.
I'm currently working on another story w/ Sunset & Twilight.
That said, this is definitely going to be continued. I just... want to see how people react to the story I'm working on. If it's well received, I'll definitelywork on this over the spring.
I'll also never again take a stab at a multi-chapter story in a genre I have little experience in.
Anyways, the foreshadowing... well, I have an idea as to how the story ends. It might not be what people expect though.
