This story is a sequel to Dresses and Daisies
Applejack was the first one to receive the letter. She was the first one to know that her mother and father passed away while they were vacationing in Maneorca. The whole thing has been a nightmare for her, and to make matters worse, Applebloom and the rest of the Apples at Sweet Apple Acres are wondering what happened.
Being unable to tell them the truth, Applejack runs into a Crystal Prep student named Sugarcoat, who she had met back at the Friendship Games. With Applejack torn between a rock and a hard place, she has a talk with Sugarcoat, and with her words, she can hope to find the courage to tell her family that her parents are never coming back...
Chapters (1)
You got to remove the incomplete tag. Other than that, its well done.
7630332 Already done.
I like how you didn't have Sugar Coat sound robotic (at least, that's what I imagine when I hear her voice). It really helps out when she talks to Applejack.
Where would Maneorca be by the way?
7630382 Same place where Minorca would be in the real world, I guess.
This was well written, for sure, though there could've been a little more description and a little less exposition in the middle. On which note, though the story itself was beautiful, Applejack didn't really seem upset enough. The way she spoke and talked and listened... It was as if she was carrying week old news as opposed to fresh pain. You need to put a bit more emotion into her voice, make it waver and break, because other than the pretty plain and not-all-that-emotive sections which simply said "she cried" in various ways, she felt almost normal. The start was alright when she first heard about the deaths, but her pain didn't grow enough at that point—it didn't get much further than the "shaking hands" scene. The admission to her family, mind you, came close to achieving this. There were moments where she shouted etc which felt genuinely pained—now you just need to get that through the rest of the fic.
But still, nicely written.
I like the concept of this fanfic, but the execution leaves something to be desired. It might have been better, or at least more realistic, if Applejack had gotten a call from the hospital instead of a letter from the morgue. I also thought it was weird that Sugarcoat just showed up at Sweet Apple Acres, but then didn't seem to know AJ at first. Then why the heck was she even there? Did she just want to buy some apples straight from the farm? Also, I agree with Aeluna that AJ doesn't quite seem upset enough for someone who just found out that both of her parents were gored to death.
I don't dislike it enough to downvote it, but it needs work.
Why is Applejack getting the news first? Surely as head of the family it should be Granny to whom the letter was addressed, or even Mac? Or, better yet, a call from the police rather than the morgue.
A little rushed with the family is dead thing but Love the portrayal of Sugarcoat here. I take it there are no other sequels after this?
Granny? What do you mean you KNEW this would happen soon?
Mystic has a theory 
. Ready? In 3, 2, 1, Go: Granny Smith convinced AJ's parents to take the vacation and either knew they were going to slip or hired someone to take out the two in the most conspicuous way. The motivation behind this was so Granny Smith could get the shares of the farm or to keep AJ and the others on her grip out of obsession or to exploit them! It has to be the only way to explain the first sentence 
! Hehehe, jokes aside, would like that sentence be corrected 
. Do not want other readers to openly interpret the sentence as Mystic cited ;P.
Next on the agenda is how this story tries to address the issue if being blunt is alright. Note, Mystic mentions "tries" in the sentence because Mystic felt the interactions were too casual or had little conflict for the readers to choose a side because the verdict was biased on one side. Make readers choose side and either leave it open for interpretation, or choose a side, but give the other party a shot with some justification to their ideas being more appealing at one point. This story did have a morale lesson and all, but the delivery and impact to the readers? Some ponies such as Mystic were unsatisfied of the resolve ending abruptly
. That, plus Mystic has this feeling Sugarcoat was not portrayed enough. Just a feeling. That one, Mystic is not too sure if it is the case or not as Mystic has only read a few stories about Sugarcoat. But for some reason, Mystic's gut seems unsatisfied as Sugarcoat is WAAAAYYY more blunt from Mystic's previous experiences which can be a BIAS in Mystic's part for comparing one authors depiction to your depiction 
. So... UNDECIDED, but leaving it here if anyone is curious how Mystic lead to this conclusion.
Could really see this story's potential and Mystic even found AJ's depiction to be consistent
. At the end of the day though, Mystic always mention this paraphrase of someone when doing a critique "Creating something is more difficult than criticising". Hope Mystic's remarks were not too harsh for you to discontinue writing. What matters here is you tried something different so you gain experience rather than going all in and expecting it to all work out with little to no experience. You did mention sequeals so Mystic is already curious about the prequels and sequels 
. Overall... Alright? This story is just a little above average to Mystic. Talk about being blunt 
. Again, sorry. Just one opinion out of many anyway, so up to you on who to follow 
. Ohh and by the way, amazing cover 
! Really show how much your series is developing so hope to read them at some point!
Best wishes,
~ Cpt_Mystic Stirling ;P