- Member Since 29th May, 2012
- offline last seen Feb 17th, 2017
PonIver
Midwest Brony. Really appreciate critiques, especially if you catch grammatical errors. I'm far more used to prose and poetry than narrative, so any advice, hate mail, etc. is appreciated.
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I like how you never outright say who Twilight's lucky mare is. Very clever.
Dirty Women - Black Sabbath
I hate how you never say who Twilights's lucky mare is. Although I did find it very clever.
Short, sweet, and beautiful.
For a one-shot, I'd rather not know. (We didn't even know it was a mare until Celestia asked "Do you love her?") Headcanon will supply each of us with an answer, anyway. For what it's worth, I think it's somepony to whom we haven't been introduced.
Now I'm going to spend the rest of my life thrying to figure out who it is.
I imagines the "lucky mare" as Rainbow Dash, lol. But on another, more constructive note, I loved this for a short, light read. :) Here's a thumb for your troubles.
wish we knew who the mare is, oh well. Nice job.
808069>>808121>>808248>>808249>>808254>>808285
Yeah, I'd rather people fill it in with whoever they want. It's hard to write ambiguously. I have no personal opinion as to who it is, and I hope the way Twilight talks keeps it up for debate.
Yeah I needed something short. My other story is exhaustin me and needed a break.
Very cute read. It was clever that you never stated outright who Twilight's fiancee is, and I think the story is better off this way. The ambiguity was handled fairly well, and I didn't notice any overt slips where it was really awkward that Twilight or Celestia didn't say her name. Obviously just a short cute little drabble, and it accomplishes its cuteness very nicely. Sometimes you need a break from heavier stories, and this read in a refreshing manner that, sounds like it was a fun diversion to write.
Aww, cute.
809023
Thanks. It was fun. I will say I noticed I kinda ruled out Rarity on accident by saying she did Twilight's mane and tail. Probably the most fun was seeing the art my buddy made. I had to make him clean it up since the original had an f-bomb instead of 'Awwww yea'
Oh well, back to writing depressing storylines...
I'll be honest; I only read this story to see whom you were shipping Twilight with. Damn you. *shakes fist impotently*
810542
Trolled you!
If it's one of the Mane 6 IMO it would be
, 
or 
810798
Not a TwiDash fan huh? Someone needs to read "Twilight's List"
I prefer no ships, and when I think about pairing, it's not because it's what I like. It's just about whatever fits the story. Been going through plenty of hate over writing a RariJack pairing, and thought "Man, what if I just had left it up to them who the character ends up with?"
810868 Well, I do like TwiDash, but I think it's a bit unlikely. But opposites attract. Oh, and this part "There was a rapping on the other side of the door to her bedchambers" reminded me of "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe.
810887
Interesting analysis. I haven't read Poe in years. I just thought it sounded better than "someone knocked on the door". I definitely have favorite authors, but can't say I'm thinking of any in particular while I write. Narrative writing is completely new to me. My background was in poetry and it was just a silly hobby aside from two published pieces.
If only English let you leave Twilight's fiance's gender ambiguous; then the only ones left out would be Rarity and Celestia. Still, nice piece, and can easily fit in any work, no matter who the other bride to be is.
And how many people here were hoping for
?
Nice oneshot. I also like how you left Twi's fiance as a mystery mare.
832740
I see you, and raise you a
Seriously though, I'm guessing that has something to do with me trolling people by leaving Twilight's lover ambiguous?
I just think it's fun to leave some details up to the reader. Create a scene that's beautiful and real, make it easy for them to see the important details, but leave them thinking about what else would happen if it was their story to write.
>>Ponliver
No I ment Trixie, because if it was my story to write it whouldl be Trixie.
Edit: because I can't find a Twilight / male non oc ship that I like.
Edit x2: Twilight / Rule 63 Trixie!.........but there are no such fics.
833250
You know, I leave it up to everypony, and you can fill in the lover with whomever you want, but I do believe that
x
is about as likely as RarityXBlueblood
Heck I think there's a better chance of Twilight marrying Crackle before Trixie
If I were to pair Trixie (and I totally want to do this in a one-shot), it'd be with the only pony with an ego to match her own:
DASH x TRIXIE
......
......hmmmmm.......maybe.
Is it weird that as soon as Tia said "her" I thought of Dash?
868304
Well that's the goal. Let the reader fill it in with whoever they think the best choice is. Although I admit, TwiDash is the most common pairing, and I am a big fan of Twilight's List. But still, it's a question without an answer.
You're still weird though
Two things Celestia said in this short fic struck strongly with me
''love cannot exist as a one-sided emotion'' - I've ALWAYS felt this way about love. It was a conclusion I came to that explains the existance of unrequited love. I've always felt that real love has to be shared between two people at minimum. One person loving another just isn't the same.
''That statement you made about how happy she makes you? Make sure you tell her that every day. Nopony ever grows tired of that'' - This was just beautiful. I reckon Im gonna remeber this line for a very long time!
I like my short and sweet fics. I've read about 20 fics now and only 3 of them went beyond 4,000 or 5,000 words. I believe this is the shortest I've read and probably one of the best. So much can be said in a small amount of words
872997
Short can be hard to pull off, so thanks thats good to hear. I tend to be incredibly lengthy, so this was something to force me to pull away from what I was working on.
Glad you liked those lines. I know they're a teensy bit cheesy, but hey, that's the kind of story it is.
SWEET CRAP WHO IS SHE GETTING MARRIED TO
You can't jerk me around like that, bro. D: I was so excited to see "her" and then nothing. :( Of course I realize that's not the point of the story, yadda yadda but I don't care.
Who is she getting married to tell us NOW please. But good story though.