The Right Way To Do It (Trigger Warning)

by Thread Necromancer

Battle Against a True Patriot

Nightmare Moon was upset at the base being turned into a crater but it didn’t matter, they found out where the president resided. She flew to DC and landed in front of the White House. “Mr. President! I am here to-” monologuing “Will you surrender or dare challenge me?” The President, the man himself, Donald J. Trump stepped out. He wore a red ‘Make America Great Again’ hat.

“Alright, now I don’t know who you are or even what you are, but I’d bet a small loan of a million dollars that you came here illegally and are dead set on taking our jobs and ruining our way of life as Americans. But I won’t let you do that! Right now, I can feel everyone’s patriotism flowing through me and we all have one mission: To defeat you! I, Donald Trump, will deport you!” Cameras were trained on the scene. The whole world was watching.

Trump summoned a double-ended spear with the American flag secured on the top end. He dashed to Nightmare Moon and an epic battle of Moon vs. Sun ensued. The Nightmare blocked a strike with her scythe and was stricken with disbelief. “Wh-who are you, old man…?”

He replied “I am the one that makes America great.” Trump leapt back and planted his flag into the ground. The earth began to split open and a fire erupted from the crevice. The Nightmare was singed but flew upwards before any serious damage was done.

Nightmare moon swooped down and reared her scythe back to prepare a swing. When she was within a meter, she thought she had him but the president yelled "TRUMP WALL!" and she was met with a brick wall to the face. Nightmare moon rebounded off it and was dizzy but still unharmed. She readied a second attack. Two magic runes appeared beside her. They glowed and then shot out multiple tendril-like president-seeking projectiles. Trump sprouted pure white wings of an archangel from his back and flew to evade the attack. He rolled and turned sharply out of the way.

Trump aimed the star-spangled banner at his enemy and threw it at an incredible speed. Nightmare Moon couldn’t block this one and was impaled through the stomach. But she wasn’t done yet. She pulled out the spear and it flew back into the President’s grasp.

He said “Heh, you’re a tough one aren’t ya? I never thought I’d have to use this. Prepare to witness my true power!” He took his hat off and threw it to the side. The sunlight reflected off his golden hair. It was beautiful like the endless fields of tall wheat on the US’ most fertile soil. His hair began to glow brightly and electric sparks started to zap around him. Suddenly, a flash of light enveloped Trump and he had mysteriously gotten longer, spiky hair. He raised a finger at Nightmare moon and simply said two words. “You’re fired.” A massive red, white, and blue beam shot out of Trump’s finger. Nightmare Moon could not escape the wall of freedom in time. "CURSE YOOOUUU!" She was disintegrated in the blast.

Trump put his hat back on and a lion joined his side. He mounted the beast and rode to the cheering crowd, high-fiving them and being showered in gifts and flowers. Trump's lion grew wings and they flew off into the sunset. Don't worry though, they came back, he still has a job to do.

Comments

[coinbook]

Great job. You really out did yourself this time. Keep it up.

[Past Participle]

...Wow. Trump just taught me what a Snake Plisken Super Sayian would look like.

[PastyWaffles]

Now I get why you put a trigger warning. But anyways...

TRIGGERED

[Thread Necromancer]

I did not expect this much feedback on the first day.

[TgTfProductions]

What did I just read?

[No One Of Nowhere]

Error error abort abort pdkfjcjksoxjdms.
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RationalThought.exe crashed.......loading backup mode Insanity.exe
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User died before process finished due to lethal amounts of Dank Patriotism.
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Wiping memory.
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.
Rebirth initiated.

[TheAlmightyTinCan]

It was a dystopian future fic the whole time!

[Thread Necromancer]

7431861 That sounds so cool...

[LongJohn 03]

Gr8 b8 m8 I r8 8/8

[Admiral_Gravleos]

blog.vision-strike-wear.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/talk-about-freedom-army-meme.jpg s2.quickmeme.com/img/fa/fab6b1e5d24ee07bbdaf8333e2b7a3cf09bc22ba661105287726b38ee0b75bd5.jpg

[Thread Necromancer]

7586531
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/451/406/36a.jpg
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d4/81/56/d48156a6e1aef868c6a3cdb28b4c5eae.jpg

[Admiral_Gravleos]

7587081 meme-lol.com/wp-content/uploads/meme-lol/-Funny-Murica-MEME-2014.jpg 1.bp.blogspot.com/_a5Foz69iVJ0/TDB7cDZmWcI/AAAAAAAAAX4/Ri5iwGYwReY/s1600/america.jpg
quickmeme.com/img/49/4982c8320dd60b6a40591e793ff4f6ca36bd03cc93f28dab234785430a1f7e96.jpg s2.quickmeme.com/img/f8/f8011e1d27481fdf14db2e19eb528b86415b503e23405b1a6afe4ce0920f20e3.jpg nickknockedmeup.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/28181_10151382626228041_1637443618_n.jpg?w=560&h=699 weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/4th-of-july-memes-13.jpg thefunniestpictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/patriotic-cancer.jpg gamedayrcom.c.presscdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/america-fuck-yeah-meme-16.jpeg i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/508/726/1aa.jpg

[theflammablefiredragon]

...classy

[crossed]

This is why you don't fuck with America. Even if Trump did not have god-like abilities, the massive amount of sniper rifles trained on her head as soon as she entered the white-house's general vicinity would have done it.

[Thread Necromancer]

7794903 I enjoy your enthusiasm!

[DominiusTWD]

how did i just learn about this and not so much sooner?

[Radioactive Dragon]

7871050 me too

[lap1s lazul1]

Reading this when trump DID Become president is sooo wierd

[booklover41]

Read this chapter and at the end was an advertisement about "Trimp's Secret Weapon"

LOL

[Prince Galaxy]

Make.Humanity.Great.Again.

[KebababeK247]

Alex Jones would be very proud of you.

[Thread Necromancer]

8093885 I feel like I should give you some sort of reward for reading that.

[MysteriousOtaku]

M̥̤͔̣͇̗̗͉̙̥̞̘͕̜ͤ̍̋͒ͭͪ̈́͌͊̆͆̏͌͗̓̕͞ͅͅÄ̠͎͎̟̼̺̣̱͊̐͐͗ͤͫ̕ͅḰ̵̨̩͍̬̦̻̥͎̳̗̺͉͚̜̳͈̹͙̭ͣ̊̾̇̈̒ͬͥ͛͛̒̈͞E̍́ͨ͑ͪ͑ͨͥͤ͒̓̐͐͌̄̉́̀̚͝҉͍̘͖̟̘̟̺̯ ̅͋ͨͨ̎̌ͩ͏̴̸̢͔͎̫̯̯̺̪̦̥̗̼͔͇̘̹̖̩̤͟A̷̡̜̺̯̫̾̄ͭ̅̏̚̕͘M̢͔̞̰̥̞͕̳̺̞̦̓ͣͦͧ̾͊̃͌̄̏͗͒̓͗͛ͤ͗E̴̛͇͚̩̫̱ͮ̌ͣ͆̅͆͗̆̽ͧ̊ͮ̿́̀̕Ŗ̞̖̗̗͇̤̹͖͉͇̰͈͍̰͍̬̰̗̻ͩ̍̓̋̽ͤͫ̀͠͝Ì̴̫̮̫͙̤͓͆̓͒̎ͦ̂̍̏ͬ̓̾ͧ̌̓ͥ̃͡͡C̪̲̠̗ͩ͆̓̈̾̈͋ͨͦ̚̕͟͞Ä̷̮̦̬̼̥̠̟̼̳̝͕͔̪̹̓̓̔͞͞ ̛̗̯͕̘̤̔̎̂̅ͮͤ̾ͦ́̏ͦ͘͡W̶̧̢͎̦̲̱̦̜͖̺͔͔̥̗̺̯̝̙ͮͯ̚͞H̸̷̤̣̬̑͗͊ͮ͗͛ͭ̿̀̿ͩ̍Ô̙̮͎͓̣̜͂̉͑ͭͦ̑̀͡͠L̜͓͎̲͗́͗̉͌ͨ̾ͦ̾͒̐ͫ̀ͥ̽̈́ͩ̚̚͢Ę̛̝̦͍̹̘̘͊͌̌͂̔̉̊͌̓̅́̍͒ͬ̈ͥ̑̚͝ͅ ̲̫̖̳̪̞̙̰͚ͬ̄ͨ̔͒ͩ̊͆̐̋͢͢͝͡A̷̹̦̻̙͓͔̞̮̖͑̽̋̇̔̀͘͟͟ͅĠ͛̓́ͫ̒ͩͧ͜͏̲̙̻̼͓͉͉̗̝͙̮͓̤̺͕̼͞Ā̧̛̽̓̄̊ͦ͊͐ͯ͒҉̡̙͇͙͖̭̺̥͕̪̰͙̭͇͙͎͙̯̼͞I̸͍͎̝̙̻̠͇̻̻̹̳͈̗̥̫͛ͭ̄̎̽̊͊̎̓̉̽̈̅͐̔̀̕͜N̶͋̓̾́ͫ̔̊̉́͘̕͏̱̮̼̥̟͔͕̜̦̬̜̤̞̫̙͔̩̟

[MysteriousOtaku]

8048245 M̥̤͔̣͇̗̗͉̙̥̞̘͕̜ͤ̍̋͒ͭͪ̈́͌͊̆͆̏͌͗̓̕͞ͅͅÄ̠͎͎̟̼̺̣̱͊̐͐͗ͤͫ̕ͅḰ̵̨̩͍̬̦̻̥͎̳̗̺͉͚̜̳͈̹͙̭ͣ̊̾̇̈̒ͬͥ͛͛̒̈͞E̍́ͨ͑ͪ͑ͨͥͤ͒̓̐͐͌̄̉́̀̚͝҉͍̘͖̟̘̟̺̯ ̅͋ͨͨ̎̌ͩ͏̴̸̢͔͎̫̯̯̺̪̦̥̗̼͔͇̘̹̖̩̤͟A̷̡̜̺̯̫̾̄ͭ̅̏̚̕͘M̢͔̞̰̥̞͕̳̺̞̦̓ͣͦͧ̾͊̃͌̄̏͗͒̓͗͛ͤ͗E̴̛͇͚̩̫̱ͮ̌ͣ͆̅͆͗̆̽ͧ̊ͮ̿́̀̕Ŗ̞̖̗̗͇̤̹͖͉͇̰͈͍̰͍̬̰̗̻ͩ̍̓̋̽ͤͫ̀͠͝Ì̴̫̮̫͙̤͓͆̓͒̎ͦ̂̍̏ͬ̓̾ͧ̌̓ͥ̃͡͡C̪̲̠̗ͩ͆̓̈̾̈͋ͨͦ̚̕͟͞Ä̷̮̦̬̼̥̠̟̼̳̝͕͔̪̹̓̓̔͞͞ ̛̗̯͕̘̤̔̎̂̅ͮͤ̾ͦ́̏ͦ͘͡W̶̧̢͎̦̲̱̦̜͖̺͔͔̥̗̺̯̝̙ͮͯ̚͞H̸̷̤̣̬̑͗͊ͮ͗͛ͭ̿̀̿ͩ̍Ô̙̮͎͓̣̜͂̉͑ͭͦ̑̀͡͠L̜͓͎̲͗́͗̉͌ͨ̾ͦ̾͒̐ͫ̀ͥ̽̈́ͩ̚̚͢Ę̛̝̦͍̹̘̘͊͌̌͂̔̉̊͌̓̅́̍͒ͬ̈ͥ̑̚͝ͅ ̲̫̖̳̪̞̙̰͚ͬ̄ͨ̔͒ͩ̊͆̐̋͢͢͝͡A̷̹̦̻̙͓͔̞̮̖͑̽̋̇̔̀͘͟͟ͅĠ͛̓́ͫ̒ͩͧ͜͏̲̙̻̼͓͉͉̗̝͙̮͓̤̺͕̼͞Ā̧̛̽̓̄̊ͦ͊͐ͯ͒҉̡̙͇͙͖̭̺̥͕̪̰͙̭͇͙͎͙̯̼͞I̸͍͎̝̙̻̠͇̻̻̹̳͈̗̥̫͛ͭ̄̎̽̊͊̎̓̉̽̈̅͐̔̀̕͜N̶͋̓̾́ͫ̔̊̉́͘̕͏̱̮̼̥̟͔͕̜̦̬̜̤̞̫̙͔̩̟

[NotShadowLotus488]

8210830
Its so cold and lonely here...

But how will we know?

[The Crystal king]

8197889
Nope, 'runs away'

[Not so New Brony]

I suddenly want a fighting game with the presidents and other world leaders as characters now.

[JustAnotherRandomFan]

7431882
This comment didn't age well...

[Beanygrow15237]

Why is this so amazing

[Merula]

why does this exist

i love it

[The White devil]

“Alright, now I don’t know who you are or even what you are, but I’d bet a small loan of a million dollars that you came here illegally and are dead set on taking our jobs and ruining our way of life as Americans. But I won’t let you do that! Right now, I can feel everyone’s patriotism flowing through me and we all have one mission: To defeat you! I, Donald Trump, will deport you!” Cameras were trained on the scene. The whole world was watching.

Ugh. Christ this made me laugh my ass off.