Cicero, member of an alien race of Protectors, has been ripped from his planet and thrust onto Equis. Now he’ll need the help of some new equine friends to defeat an unimaginable evil that’s broken free of its prison inside of Equis.
Don't get me wrong, I normally like Human x storys in several chases, but this was at the first moment not one of them.
The first thing I wanted to say since he was always so charming to the girls, I'm a bit affraid this is going to be a poly...whateveer (herd story).
While it can be done nice, if it are only up to 3-4 people that we actually know a bit about to understand the possible reasons why they are together. I guess it is because of how you started the story that I was a bit dissapointed that he is maybe interessted in Rainbow Dash and not Fluttershy or Twilight at first.
I had watched some of the harem Animes myself, but I find it very odd to read if suddenly everyone is more than probably sexual interessted in the main char.
I haven't read everything yet but I wanted to say that already. I like how some of them where acting, but that nearly everyone that has a bit of that kind of personality is acting like....well that.
She gave me a knowing smile and laughed at my obvious deflection.
I guess it is not the fault of your story, but who got the idea that it would be one of Applejacks traits to always know, or think that someone is sexual or generally interessted in someone else?
I remembered that as I had kneaded Applejacks hips I noticed how well toned her flanks had been. Not to mention she had that cute freckled farm girl look going for her. Now that I actually think about it I wouldn’t mind feeling it agi-. I stopped walking and facepalmed.
Then suddenly he is starting to act different and focused on their sexual parts.
Not that I'm completely hate that stuff, but since I expected something else or at least I got a different impression of him and the story, this chapter completely one the they are sexual interessted in me and oooohhhhh a dildo, was putting me off somehow.
I guess it was the sudden turn in the events....and the fact that i had read that something was changing this mind, and I don't really like anything that is changing their stuff and is trying to force them to do stuff......bad examples in form of a bad story I had to read once.
7366242 I guess it is not the fault of your story, but who got the idea that it would be one of Applejacks traits to always know, or think that someone is sexual or generally interessted in someone else?
I don't believe that Applejack is able to detect peoples feelings better than anyone else. I however do believe that Applejack is able to detects lies better than others. Throughout the series it's heavily implied at multiple points that Applejack has the innate ability detect lies, trustworthiness, and deception much more effectively than others. Logically we can assume Applejack has the ability to read people well. This is most likely her element of honesty at work. So when the main character made an obvious deflection I don't think it's a stretch to believe Applejack would easily be able to identify it.
Then suddenly he is starting to act different and focused on their sexual parts.
Not that I'm completely hate that stuff, but since I expected something else or at least I got a different impression of him and the story, this chapter completely one the they are sexual interessted in me and oooohhhhh a dildo, was putting me off somehow.
This was actually done intentionally. If you read the beginning of Ch.6 you'll see that the sudden shift in his emotions is explored and explained.
To your other point, the scene with the dildo was supposed to a bit of sexually charged humor. If you don't like my humor I can't really do anything about that. But if it's specifically sexually charged humor that you don't like than this may not be the story for you. I'm not going to be gratuitous about it but it will be prevalent throughout the story.
I guess it was the sudden turn in the events....and the fact that i had read that something was changing this mind, and I don't really like anything that is changing their stuff and is trying to force them to do stuff......bad examples in form of a bad story I had to read once.
Besides what I've written above if by sudden turn of events you meant the lack of focus on adventure and more on fun slice of life then I'd invite you to read the end of Ch.6. I'm leading up to the adventure and introducing the characters for now.
Now if you've read all that and you don't agree or still don't like what you've read then I don't know what I can do. Not everyone is going to like the story I write. It's impossible to please everyone. My interpretation of how the characters in the MLP:FIM universe would interact in the scenario my story is set around will probably be different from other peoples interpretations. When all is said and done, no matter what, thank you for reading my story up until now and commenting.
Splendid story. Please do go on.
Don't get me wrong, I normally like Human x storys in several chases, but this was at the first moment not one of them.
The first thing I wanted to say since he was always so charming to the girls, I'm a bit affraid this is going to be a poly...whateveer (herd story).
While it can be done nice, if it are only up to 3-4 people that we actually know a bit about to understand the possible reasons why they are together. I guess it is because of how you started the story that I was a bit dissapointed that he is maybe interessted in Rainbow Dash and not Fluttershy or Twilight at first.
I had watched some of the harem Animes myself, but I find it very odd to read if suddenly everyone is more than probably sexual interessted in the main char.
I haven't read everything yet but I wanted to say that already. I like how some of them where acting, but that nearly everyone that has a bit of that kind of personality is acting like....well that.
I guess it is not the fault of your story, but who got the idea that it would be one of Applejacks traits to always know, or think that someone is sexual or generally interessted in someone else?
Then suddenly he is starting to act different and focused on their sexual parts.
Not that I'm completely hate that stuff, but since I expected something else or at least I got a different impression of him and the story, this chapter completely one the they are sexual interessted in me and oooohhhhh a dildo, was putting me off somehow.
I guess it was the sudden turn in the events....and the fact that i had read that something was changing this mind, and I don't really like anything that is changing their stuff and is trying to force them to do stuff......bad examples in form of a bad story I had to read once.
7366242
I guess it is not the fault of your story, but who got the idea that it would be one of Applejacks traits to always know, or think that someone is sexual or generally interessted in someone else?
I don't believe that Applejack is able to detect peoples feelings better than anyone else. I however do believe that Applejack is able to detects lies better than others. Throughout the series it's heavily implied at multiple points that Applejack has the innate ability detect lies, trustworthiness, and deception much more effectively than others. Logically we can assume Applejack has the ability to read people well. This is most likely her element of honesty at work. So when the main character made an obvious deflection I don't think it's a stretch to believe Applejack would easily be able to identify it.
Then suddenly he is starting to act different and focused on their sexual parts.
Not that I'm completely hate that stuff, but since I expected something else or at least I got a different impression of him and the story, this chapter completely one the they are sexual interessted in me and oooohhhhh a dildo, was putting me off somehow.
This was actually done intentionally. If you read the beginning of Ch.6 you'll see that the sudden shift in his emotions is explored and explained.
To your other point, the scene with the dildo was supposed to a bit of sexually charged humor. If you don't like my humor I can't really do anything about that. But if it's specifically sexually charged humor that you don't like than this may not be the story for you. I'm not going to be gratuitous about it but it will be prevalent throughout the story.
I guess it was the sudden turn in the events....and the fact that i had read that something was changing this mind, and I don't really like anything that is changing their stuff and is trying to force them to do stuff......bad examples in form of a bad story I had to read once.
Besides what I've written above if by sudden turn of events you meant the lack of focus on adventure and more on fun slice of life then I'd invite you to read the end of Ch.6. I'm leading up to the adventure and introducing the characters for now.
Now if you've read all that and you don't agree or still don't like what you've read then I don't know what I can do.
Not everyone is going to like the story I write. It's impossible to please everyone. My interpretation of how the characters in the MLP:FIM universe would interact in the scenario my story is set around will probably be different from other peoples interpretations.
When all is said and done, no matter what, thank you for reading my story up until now and commenting.