Lonely in the Night

Starlight Glimmer has been feeling unloved lately, even by her closest friends. As she finds herself wondering through Ponyville on one cold Winter night, she receives advice from a very unlikely source.

Written for the F*** this Prompt #11 contest in the Rage Reviews group, with the prompt being "Scootaloo is an orphan".

Thanks to FamousLastWords for goading me into writing this by telling me I need to be more spontaneous. Love ya, bro!

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 17 )

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FamousLastWords

FamousLastWords #1 · Jun 10th, 2016 · 2 · ·

I love you, too, man! #nohomo

RainbowCoolDash Pariah

RainbowCoolDash Pariah #2 · Jun 10th, 2016 · · ·

I know you might not do it......but......MORE!!!!!!!!

Manaphy

Manaphy #3 · Jun 10th, 2016 · 3 · ·

I'd say that this is a strong entry for the contest as a whole. I liked how you made Scootaloo's status not the main focus of the story, and her hoping to make her friends happy is something I could definitely see being a part of Scootaloo. This is the same filly that idolizes Rainbow Dash, after all, and I bet she'd value loyalty like Dash. Starlight was also well-written in how she interacts with Scootaloo and her decision at the end of the story.

The only thing that I'm a bit unsure of is how Twilight fits into the story, though I guess it depends on how the story is being told. Her getting furious at Starlight seems a bit off to me, though I could definitely see her raising her voice and trying to explain to Starlight why the spell was a bad idea. Of course, Starlight could be the unreliable narrator here and blowing things out of proportion, something that fits her established character. But overall, I definitely enjoyed the story and how it managed to make something good out of a tricky prompt. Well done!

Lucky Seven

Lucky Seven #4 · Jun 10th, 2016 · · ·

7292949 I typically don't reply to these kinds of comments, because almost all of my stories are considered complete at publication (especially since I typically write one-shots).

But I don't know. I might come back to this particular idea in the future, just not for this story.

Lucky Seven

Lucky Seven #5 · Jun 10th, 2016 · 3 · ·

7292953 You were spot-on with Starlight being over-dramatic about it all. Typically, when you're narrating an event that traumatized you, you tend to go a bit overboard when you finally do talk about it. Starlight, as a character, would definitely be the kind of pony to do that.

A British Gentleman

A British Gentleman #6 · Jun 10th, 2016 · · ·

A good little slice of life fic, featuring an uncommon combination of characters. Well worth the read, and I loved seeing an in character Scootaloo being awesome whilst in a dumpster. Nice response from Starlight as well, at the end.

Have an upvote, and I shall look forward to seeing how you do in the contest

themouthofmush

themouthofmush #7 · Jun 10th, 2016 · · ·

I'd like to think I did an okay job of twisting that trope to make it less whiny and annoying.

Welp, you did set out to do that and you did that well. A short story that tackles on some of the possible ways Starlight feels about her new love while still fitting into that prompt is pretty impressive, though I'm not sure you'd get as much attention as any other story that focused more on Scootaloo for the prompt. I'll still give you an upvote and some words of encouragement: remember that a few good layers of newspaper go along way.

RainbowCoolDash Pariah

RainbowCoolDash Pariah #8 · Jun 10th, 2016 · · ·

7292963 I know just being silly is all

The Bricklayer

The Bricklayer #9 · Jun 10th, 2016 · · ·

Never thought of this pairing of mother and daughter but I can see it working somehow...

Jman14102

Jman14102 #10 · Jun 11th, 2016 · · ·

A nice, sweet little story. It felt a bit rushed in places as I read, but since this was written for a prompt, I can understand.
Have an upvote, and good luck in the contest!

Pony Wayne