Another Wonderbolts practice ended in a bright, prismatic flash as the Wonderbolts tested out their newest stunt, which incorporated Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainboom.
In the locker room after practice, Soarin cautiously approached Rainbow. Other Wonderbolts noticed, nudged others, and turned to watch. There was a pool going among the senior Bolts that Soarin had a thing for Rainbow Dash, and a lot of bits were riding on whether or not he'd make a move.
"Hey, Rainbow Dash?" Soarin asked cautiously.
Dash looked up from toweling her mane, flipping her towel over her locker door. "Sup?"
Soarin bit his lip. "I, umm...I heard this rumor..." He coughed. "W-well, I just wanted to ask..."
Rainbow tilted her head. "You heard a rumor? What kind of rumor?"
"W-well..." Soarin grimaced. "It's...I heard you don't...like pie."
Around the room, hooves met foreheads, heads were shaken, and several Bolts promptly lost interest. Others listened curiously, having heard about the epic meltdown Pinkie Pie had over Rainbow's pie lies.
Rainbow winced. "Uhh...yeah," she said. "I, uhh...I don't like pie."
Soarin frowned. "Why?" he asked. "How could anypony not like pie? I mean...what's not to love about pie?"
"I just...I just don't, okay?" Rainbow said hotly. Without warning, she shot out of the locker room, leaving confused pegasi staring at her contrail.
Rainbow Dash flew an errant easterly course over the Equestrian countryside, occasionally passing through and bursting a stray puffy cloud, her mind lost in memories she wished she could forget.
There had been a time, when she was a filly in Cloudsdale, that she'd loved pie. She especially loved the six-filling Rainbow Surprise Pie Fluttershy's mom would make for her on her birthday every year. Sure, she got a birthday cake and presents from her parents (Celestia, did she ever), but Mrs. Shy's special just-for-her pie was a treat she only shared with one pony: Fluttershy, her best friend since flight school.
Until her eleventh birthday, when...
* * * * *
Rainbow Dash eagerly flew to the Shys' house, licking her lips in anticipation. It was her birthday, and that meant Rainbow Surprise Pie! She looked forward to sharing that juicy, fruity, delicious treat with Fluttershy before going home for cake and presents.
But as she neared the house, smelled the scrumptuous pie through the open kitchen window, she heard Zephyr Breeze, Fluttershy's obnoxious brother, grunting and muttering her name over and over again.
She peeked through the window. Saw Zephyr Breeze standing there.
With her special pie.
Her cheeks bulged with rising gorge. Her eyes swam with the tears of a young filly's shattered heart and crushed dreams.
She flew away at top speed, wailing and vomiting at the same time all the way home.
Ever since that day, she couldn't even stand to look at a pie.
Yikes. Honestly the whole Soarin pie thing wouldn't leave my mind after this episode. Hopefully they can work past it.
...yeah, that'd put me off pie too.
I don't want to say "headcanon accepted," but this is the best explanation I've heard thus far.
That sure is one way to make you dislike pie for the rest of your life.
Also the American Pie movies will never be forgotten.
...yikes.
That explains SO much.
As for whether the fact that Dash dislikes pie will make me ship SoarinDash any less: NOPE
So it's all Zephyr Breeze's fault Rainbow Dash hates pies? Maybe it's time he got a visit from Pinkie Pie, and got a taste of his own medicine.
Yeah, that sounds like Zeph.
Yeah, I'll buy this.
Also RIP SoarinDash. Cause of death: irreconcilable differences.
How did I know it was going to be Zephyr?
Dunno how to feel about it otherwise. Weird, unsettling, and kinda funny. Plus a mental image I need to dislodge...
I could've gone my entire life without seeing this...
...OK, at the risk of sounding stupid, what exactly grossed Dash out? Was Zephyr doing something...untoward with the pie?
8492046
Sooner or later somebody had to not get the reference. Look up "American Pie."
That scene is even more disturbing when you consider that Zephyr is most likely younger than Rainbow.
Well.
It was definitely a Rainbow Surprise Pie.
"We'll just tell Mrs. Shy that... we ate it all."
How bad is it that this makes me want to geld Zephyr more than anything else?
8493333
Not at all. It is a bit strange that you didn't already, though.
Suddenly, there was a pink nuclear explosion over Sugarcube Corner. "HE DID WHAT WITH A PIE!?"
And as always, Zephyr Breeze makes the world a worse place just by being in it.
8500846
He's like pony cancer. It's no wonder that Canon Dash hates him, and even his parents want nothing to do with him.
8497878
Later that day, ponyville swore they heard the girliest shriek that could have ever have been shrieked. And no one ever heard from Zephyr Breeze again...