Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.
Stone Waller had seen a lot of strange things over the years. Even before an alien teenager had become a god in denial, there had been things lurking at the edges of the world. She knew how right the term "paranormal" was; in her experience, the supernatural looked just like the normal, only twisted in a subtle way that was hard to notice but impossible to unsee once spotted.
It did not sit smiling on the other side of her desk, wearing a well-tailored if lime-green three-piece suit.
"I'm going to be blunt, Miss Heartstrings," said Waller. "I've spent almost thirty years in the Department of Paranormal Investigation. I've learned a lot of valuable lessons in my time, and one of the big ones is that national defense is best left to mundane methods." She sighed. "Unfortunately, I'm only the deputy chief, and Deeper Truth is convinced that now that magic is publicly available, we might as well put it to use. I'd heard about the lightsaber rumors at DAPLA, but I didn't think they'd drag you into this." Waller nodded to the woman sitting next to the sharp-dressed alien. "Or you, Tia."
Celestia gave a familiar, understanding smile. "I remember how it is, Stone. Besides, the Power Patriots need to work with the government, or at least not actively against it. Otherwise, we're just a bunch of vigilantes with good publicity."
Lyra crossed her arms. "I'm afraid I can't be as good a sport about this."
Waller raised an eyebrow. The girl's fists were clenched, but she'd assured Waller that most Equestrians did that when they forgot they had fingers. "Is it because we're not ponies?" Waller smirked as she glanced at her own fingernails. "Not entirely, anyway."
Lyra shook her head. "Truth be told, you are among the first non-equine governments we've reached out to, but that's not it. The standard Bureau policy for governments that don't contribute to our budget is mutual noninterference. This clearly isn't that.
"Granted, I technically don't have the authority to approve or deny the proposal, but even if I kick it upstairs, I'm sure you'll only have to wait longer before you get a 'No.'"
"Why not?"
"For one, you're definitely not going to get any other Bureau agents to help. Probability space is a perpetual mess, and that's putting it politely. That means that logistics are limited to portals, which your world can barely support right now, and one natural worldshifter who's still a legal minor. Secondly, I suspect this proposal was made largely for the acronym."
Celestia smirked. "It wouldn't be the first time. Remember SMILE and FROWN?"
Waller kept her thoughts on the matter out of her expression. "All too clearly."
"Here, it's downright transparent," said Lyra. "You even switched two letters around. It's the Equestrian Time-Space Administration, not the other way around. And we definitely have no interest in facilitating an interdimensional league of superheroes."
Waller nodded, allowing one corner of her mouth turn up just a fraction. "Understood. I'll just have to tell Chief Truth that he won't get to establish ESTABLISH."
DAPLA is the Defense Advancement Planning and Learning Agency. They invented the Internet.
This isn't the first time Celestia's mentioned some interesting personal history in this setting. It won't be the last.
And no, I'm not sorry.
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What's the full acronym supposed to be?
8419173 Equestrian Space-Time Administration Bureau League of Inter-dimensional Super Heroes.
8419173
What 8419202 said.
Note that no member of the ETSAB was consulted prior to this meeting. None of them are happy about that. The Lyra who wrote these lists is composing one recounting all of the inaccuracies, erroneous assumptions, and generally bad ideas inherent in the proposal.
I am afraid I am completely lost on this one, though I suspect there is a reference being made here that I am missing. It being 8 am and I REALLY need to go to bed probably isn't helping.
You want my opinion, Lyra? You can take this back to the Princesses too because they need to hear it: It doesn't matter what you want or what policy and procedure dictates. The post-humans and the ponies are going to be forced into an alliance of survival eventually, either by external threats like Grogar or Thanos or by internal threats like the wannabe 'Elements of Disharmony' that seems to be taking shape around Earth's native Sunset Shimmer.
Best to get things in motion now, even if only in the form of an informal memorandum of understanding about cross-jurisdiction and technical advice. The alternative is to wait until you are up to your withers in garishly-dressed idiots trying to work out their inferiority complexes by conquering the world.
Wait... Fairies can traverse Probability Space as well, no? ... Although, that method is possibly really really tricky to navigate?
And they're Supernatural as well... We've got Space Aliens, ID Aliens, and Fairies.
8419202
Oh for some reason I thought it was The Equestrian Administration of Time and Space cause he mentioned the words being out of order on purpose and for some reason I thought the way he said it was the right order. So the out of order would spell EATS but then I realized the names always have "The" in front and I thought I understood the joke was TEATS.