Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.
CHS Cafeteria, lunch time. Around one table sat six young adult humans and one young adult unicorn deity other sophont. The topic of conversation: the recent re-introduction of magic and the current undertaking of saving the universe.
“Sunset, something I’ve been meaning to ask. When you integrated magic into the universe, what did you have to change to make everything continue to work? Adjust the speed of light? Tweak Avacado’s Number? Round off the value of pi?”
“I’m a Pie and I’m round!”
“Heh. Sorry, Pinkie not that type of pie,” Sunset chuckled. “To answer your question, Twilight, nope, I didn’t muck with the default settings: your flashlight still turns on or off just as fast as before, Pranck’s constant still is, and Rule 34 still pervades the Internet.”
“Yowza!” Pinkie blurted.
Rainbow Dash choked on her soda. “Seriously?! Did you seriously just go there?”
Rarity rolled her eyes at Sunset. “Oh, darling, there’s no need to be so crass.”
Twilight blinked in confusion. “Rule 34? What’s Rule 34?”
“Twilight, you don’t... don’t know… oh, my.” Fluttershy stuttered, blushing slightly. “Even I know what what Rule 34 is.”
“So, what is it?”
“It’s one of the core rules of the Internet,” Rainbow helpfully offered. “Even I know that one!”
“‘Rules of the…’? There are no such things! I’ve read all the documentation surrounding the protocols and operation of the internet. There are no fixed ‘rules’ to using it!”
Sunset said, “These aren’t ‘official’ rules towards the operation of the whole thing, they’re more a humorous response of how the internet get used by the general populace.”
“Ok, that doesn’t explain anything. So what exactly is Rule 34?”
“It’s a joke, or at least started as one in some dark corner of the internet. It basically says, ‘If it exists, there’s porn of it.’” One of Twilight’s eyebrows shot up above the frame of her glasses. Sunset continued, “Or alternatively, ‘If it exists, there’s porn of it somewhere on the Internet.’” The other eyebrow joined the first. “And, more or less, it’s a true statement. Even worse, from what I’ve heard of other universes that have an Internet or something like it, that rule seems to always come into play. Thus, a universal constant. Multiversal, even.”
At her own lunch table, Ditzy Doo thought of beans and shuddered.
Silence overcame the table while the rest of the girls waited to see how Twilight would respond to this new nugget of information that had somehow slipped through the cracks of her academic endeavors. Mostly silence, anyway. Rainbow was too busy trying to not fall over from laughing at the whole thing.
“That’s ridiculous! I know there’s porn out there." Twilight looked off to the side and muttered, “Just ask my brother.” Fluttershy’s blush increased and Rarity raised an eyebrow of her own. “But, really? ‘If it exists, there’s porn of it?’ Come on, there’s some weird people out there, with some… ‘weird’ fetishes, but there can’t be that much porn, or at least there can't be that much ‘weird’ stuff’”.
Rainbow lost her battle against the double onslaught of her own laughter and gravity and fell out of her chair with a squawk.
“Um, Twilight, I think you’re underestimating how much…,” Fluttershy paused, searching for a tactful way to explain her thoughts, “... how ‘weird’ and perverse people can be, especially on the Internet. One time, I did a search on 'gardens gone wild' expecting weeding tips, but that... wasn’t what I got.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Twilight deadpanned.
“It’s true, darling," said Rarity. "Whatever your, um, 'bent,' shall we say, someone else has already addressed it on the Internet.”
“And you know this how?” Twilight asked her.
Rarity’s pristine alabaster appearance suddenly took on a pinkish hue. “I will admit I’ve had to do some... ‘research’ for the occasional ‘odd’ commission before. And there are some ‘interesting’ ideas out there.”
“‘Interestin'’, huh?” Applejack smirked.
“Quiet, you.”
Sunset turned back to her purple friend with a slight smirk. “If you don’t believe us, why don’t you just test it? You’ve got your phone on you.”
Twilight sputtered, “You want me to go look up porn? On my phone? Now? In the middle of the cafeteria?”
“Why not? Think of something that there can’t possibly be porn of and do a Gillion search for it; just enter your item and add the word ‘porn’. It’s that simple. If you’re right, you won't find anything. And if you’re wrong…” Sunset shrugged. “Just think of it as an educational experience.”
Twilight looked at her phone like it was going to bite her. She turned to the rest of her friends for their thoughts on all this.
Applejack calmly said, “It’s yer funeral.”
Pinkie screamed, “Wave off! Wave off!”
Rainbow just fell back on the floor laughing even harder.
Rarity was back to her normal prim and proper self, but there was just a hint of a smirk in the corner of her mouth.
Fluttershy had blushed so much she was turning orange.
And then there was Sunset, smug and confident.
In her short life, there were two things that Twilight Sparkle had come to despise: not knowing everything and letting her best friends pull one over on her. “Fine!” she snapped. Pulling out her phone, she opened the Gillion search app. “Let’s see, what to search for?” she said, staring at the screen and tapping her chin.
“Ah, ha!” As fast as she could, she entered her query but paused before hitting the final ‘search’ button.” She held her phone up to the rest of the table so they could read the search terms: “Fancy Industries Magic Spectral Analyzer porn.”
Sunset just gave another non-judgmental shrug.
Twilight hit the ‘submit’ button and waited for Gillion to do its thing.
A moment later, the results popped up. Twilight looked at the results.
Then Twilight looked at the results.
The phone clattered to the table, barely missing Twilight’s neatly half-eaten sandwich with carefully removed crusts. She sat staring at where the phone had been in her hands a moment before. Pinkie waved a hand in front of her face. There was no response.
Sunset sighed, holding out a hand as her magic brought the phone to it, then looking at the results. Then giving an impressed whistle.
“What? What is it?” Fluttershy asked cautiously.
Sunset cleared the search and the browsing history, then turned the phone off with a click. “Lemme put it this way: once Twilight.exe reboots, something tells me she’s going to go back to her lab and sterilize everything.”
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Double quotes:
Missing quote at end:
And to quote Rizzo the rat, "Thank you for makin' me a part o' dis."
9895266 thank you for the funny contribution!
Extra points for whomever actually searched for the term.
Yeah it still surprises me that there are non believer's out there. People got so angry with the MLP porn community and I'm like "Rugrats porn has existed long before MLP porn has, get your priorities straight." There is porn of cartoons that never even got past the pilot episode. (Yes I'm talking about that one).
You name it, it exists. The more popular the show the more and higher quality the porn will be too. Some people have made entire flash games out of the porn.
The internet is a dark horny place.
9895564
You can get exceedingly specific and there won't be porn. Name an obscure tv show and there will be porn. But name an obscure character from that show and the answer is maybe.
My ex once got porn on the search ”Celtic knotwork".
I think there's an "i" missing in a word here somewhere. :)
Poor Twilight. She was one of today's unlucky ten-thousand.
9895564
Rug...rugrats?! But...but they're BABIES how
wait do i really want to know
9899549
It's more the Grown Up versions... but I imagine the dark web has the more heinous versions as well. Sad fact of life is that there are some damned sick people out there.
Frankly, from the darker tales I've heard, having sex with (or at) lab instrumentation is mild for some of the highly toxic and radioactive mess on the 'Net!