Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.
"The thing is, Bacon Academy—which is still a very, very silly name—was literally founded and funded by a religious group. They're decent enough to not disallow nonbelievers, but..." Glimmer Goodwitch gave an exasperated sigh. "Well, we've got a class on Shimmerism, taught by the bishops themselves. Who are, in fact, also students. They rotate so there's no schedule conflict with them learning, but that isn't the issue."
"I once considered starting a cult at that age myself," Luna reflected. "It pretty much fell apart."
Cadence snickered. "That's what kicked off your emo phase, right?"
"Mmmhmm. Of course, that's also how I met Chryssy...."
The pink woman shot her aunt a glare. Said aunt simply sipped her glass with a smirk.
Glimmer blinked. "Chryssy? Who is—?"
"Chrysalis," Jace supplied. "Before she led the Wholesome, she dated Luna for a while. Then she became a porn star, and apparently—"
"THAT. WAS. FORCED." Cadance's voice ground through her teeth.
Glimmer opened her mouth, paused, and decided not to ask. "Bringing us back to Bacon Academy... you can see how we have some logistical issues. Throw in combat-oriented classes on top of that, and the usual high school curriculum... It doesn't help that we have a 'tradition' of hiring any teacher who asks."
Luna leaned back. "Really?"
"Ruby became the pope because she asked Sunset first. Ounce Pin? He asked Ruby. Hell, I asked for a position, and I got it!" Glimmer threw up her hands. "At LEAST I managed to convince the headmaster to vet teachers for a week, but even then—even then! Port's excellent at biology and an egotist of the highest degree, Oobleck knows history in and out and I have no idea how he doesn't explode from caffeine, and Peach—don't even get me started on Peach."
"Oobleck..." Jace mused. "You know, I've heard that name before..."
"Yes, me too...." Luna rapped her fingers on the table, before snapping them. "Discord's old roommate! He had a cousin called Oobleck, I think!"
"Huh. Small world."
"If it's so bad," Cadence asked, "why don't you leave?"
"Because my last job was even worse." Glimmer sighed. "The whole reason I asked was to get out of that mess... and to be honest, the staff does care about the students, that's very nice."
Cadence nodded. "There's a difference between a professor and a teacher. We don't have many teachers at Crystal Prep..."
Jace likely heard of Oobleck from Kraj, one of Ravnica High's old biology teachers. He left years ago; irreconcilable differences with the drama teacher and the school board.
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I do not want to know what class Jarad teaches.
So they're borrowing staff from Beacon Academy while the Grim are squatting there?
7961325
they are local reality analogues.
Rakdos as a drama teacher...
Now I'm imagining the return of Rakdos re-interpreted as an entire school throwing a massive party to welcome back an old teacher.
HOW DARE YOU GIVE ME FEELS ABOUT RAKDOS?
Ooh, blech...
7961322
Biology: "Fungus and Insects", perhaps.
He also volunteers at the park with students, cleaning up garbage but taking it home to feed his terrariums.
7961322
You mean the janitor? Mind you, he does have a student following who chip in with cleanup and contribute to some of the most formidable compost piles in the county. They're eco-kids, but not the sort you'd find at Canterlot High. Those tend to flock around the Trostani triplets, especially after Mrs. Mat'Selesnya finally retired. No, Jarad's crew takes recycling very seriously. One man's trash is another man's treasure, as the saying goes, and that clique has a very aggressive definition of trash. The worst elements won't steal your lunch money, but they may steal your lunch.
Still, not nearly as bad as when Jarad's sister was the head custodian. And don't get me started on Old Man Svogthir. They say his body's still in the rundown shed that no one's been able to unlock.
7961515
Rakdos is all about feels! It's just that the demon version doesn't devote nearly as much effort to warm and fuzzy as he does roasted and flayed.
7967700
Now that I’m super into MtG (especially on the Golgari end too) I actually understand this and deffo chuckled a bit