The Invisible Brony Defense Force

by SoullessDCLXVI

Condition

Peviously, on IBDF
"Oh. That.. um... You see, I'm the last of my kind, here in Equestria. The humans have a word for me."

"We do? What word is that?"

"Witch."
--
"Everyone survived a human attack. I think that deserves a celebration. C'mon. I know you've always wanted to experience a Pinkie Pie party, let's go!"
--
What we got, however, replaced our smiles with looks of abject horror. Just before Luna made it to the edge of the party goers Celestia frowned and glared at Luna. She lowered her horn and before Luna could understand what was happening, blasted her with raw solar magic
--
Celestia let off two shots of magic .... They hit Snake right in the chest, drilling a hole right through him, clean and precise. In horror we looked at him, and he almost a little too calmly looked down at his chest. "Fuck me." he said, before falling to his knees, and then his face.
--
The bullets tore through each of us, and only one lethal hit registered. Ponyville would no longer have beautiful custom made dresses. As Rarity's wide eyed lifeless body hit the ground Twilight began to cry over it. Begging her Princess to stop...
--
"....I beg of you, Celestia. Don't make me kill you."

It had been a week since the confrontation with Celestia at Pinkie's Block Raver. Today was the funeral for Snake. Rarity's funeral was being post poned. Namely, because she wasn't actually dead. A day after the fight I learned that Rarity's death was a feint. An attempt to appeal to Celestia's good side. Failing that, her tactical side. The bullet had merely grazed her left shoulder, the pain kicking Rarity's natural predilection to drama in high gear. In the heat of battle a spark of inspiration guided her drama to more constructive acting. Using a quick bit of magic she had guided the wound to a more fatalistic location. An illusion that she completed with the sudden stopping of motion and sound, followed by the more awkward fall that was unlike her previous dramatic losses to gravity that usually landed in a more comfortable location, namely her favorite "Fainting Couch". Twilight, who's special talent was magic, caught onto the act quickly and fell in line. Also hoping to derail her fuming mentor.

Celestia had been sleeping for the entire week. Pinkie's conjured cage keeping her in a near comatose state. An IV had been set up to keep her as healthy as possible without eating solid foods or getting regular exercise. The cage itself was being cleaned twice daily from the Solar waste. A task Luna insisted on doing herself. A task nopony fought her over. When Luna was not doing her bare minimal royal duties, eating, sleeping, or cleaning Celestia's cage, she sat silently next to the cage. Crying without sound as she looked miserably at the poor condition of her sister. Pinkie Pie and Twilight took shifts studying the princess. Trying their absolute best to determine the cause of her breakdown. Electrodes and candles decorated Celestia's head and cage respectively. It was bizarre scene as Science, Unicorn Magic, and Witchcraft combined to aid a Goddess that pissed herself in her sleep while inside a glimmering cage. I had half a mind to take a picture and get Technia to make copies so that I could really piss off that bitchy mare should she ever get better, as I was often reminded that her behaviour was WAY out of character.

Not that I would, though. No matter Celestia's condition I didn't want to upset Luna, and to humiliate her sister would have most certainly succeeded in doing just that. I had for many hours sat with the night princess, quietly offering her company which she never denied. Nor did she outright accept it either. Not until the night before Snake's funeral when she had ever so slightly leaned on me. Neither of us said a word. Still as silent as we, and many many other ponies. And even the most the BDF, had been the entire week.

With Snake's funeral on the horizon there seemed to be an unspoken agreement that the longest period of quiet most of these ponies had known would end. Somehow, we just knew that it was time to talk to each other again. If for no other reason than that the United States Military, however impossible it was, was still out there. And still a threat. And no defense could be mounted if the most verbal among us was Big Macintosh. That day Luna and I were woken up early, roughly two in the afternoon. The only two truly nocturnal creatures in Ponyville. Arrow had returned to his crying over Snakes grave. The grave had already been dug and Snake had already been buried. The tombstone, if you could call it that, was being placed today. Marking the end of Snake's story.

Everyone was seated in neat little organized lines on the grass. Funerals, being the scheduled outdoor gatherings that they were, were never rained on in Equestria. Often times cloudless skies and a warmer than usual sun meant that somewhere close by a family was grieving. The correlation of beautiful days and death held a strong impact on Pony society. The celebration of Nightmare Night, which wasn't actually named after Nightmare Moon initially, hadn't started taking place at night until a solid century into Luna's banishment. Today's funeral, however, had a few clouds and a somewhat dimmer sun. Luna wasn't strong enough to give her planet two hard pushes a day and mess with the water content in the atmosphere. Thus cloud manipulation had become a more difficult job as the formation of said clouds became greatly more unpredictable.

The turn out was bigger than I expected. Luna had said that the novelty of the situation had probably been the main draw. It wasn't often their beloved princess killed somepony. Many who still had unflappable faith in thier princess did not attempt to hide their happiness at Snake's demise, believing that Celestia was infallible and so the humans must be devils of a sort. Though not surprisingly it was most of the Canterlot ponies that showed support not for thier Princess, but the group of traitorous apes that saved them. They thoroughly believed the BDF had come with the same humans who had destroyed Canterlot. But though we were demons, we were inherently good, and so broke rank and warned of the attack. Even rescuing them in the end. No one had the energy to tell them different.

-||-||-||-||-

The funeral over, ponies had begun to speak to each other. A dull roar followed the crowd as it dispersed and ponies made their way into town. Doing what they could to regain a sense of normalcy that had all but vanished. The Canterlot ponies had taken up residence in the local hotel. A too large building that had rarely seen customers and was on the verge of bankruptcy now filled to the brim with guests staying so long they were practically tenants.

Another unspoken agreement had the mane six, the BDF, and Luna gathered around Celestia's cage. Twilight spoke first. "Pinkie and I think we know what might have happened." There was a long pause. It was broken by Luna, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Well?"

"Celestia is showing early signs of... The Nightmare."

"What? But I thought you guys got rid of her on the day of the Summer Sun Celebration?" I almost shouted

"You read too much fanfiction, Soulless." Pinkie scolded me lightly. A tight smile on her face.

"Huh?" I responded, once again showing off my excellent conversation skills.

Twilight giggled, "Pinkie told me you'd say something like that. 'The Nightmare' isn't a mare. Not a pony, nor even a separate entity. It's a condition. One unique to Alicorns. Alicorn mental health and emotional stability is notoriously, well, unstable."

"And you let two of them rule you?" Asked Technia. Twilight glared at her, though Technia showed no sign that it had affected her.

"As I was saying, Alicorns require several things to function normally. Sleep, meditation, peace, and above all, love. Pinkie's examination the Princesses memories has revealed that she's been roaming the Everfree non stop with, and no offense guys, a bunch of assholes and one particularly crazy human with a serious case of bloodlust. She's barely slept. Let alone meditated or eaten healthy. We've even found evidence of meat in her digestive tract. Not unhealthy for a pony but it goes against her values fairly extremely. The scene at Canterlot took what would have developed in another few years and brought it forward in the span of hours. She would be a full blown Nightmare alicorn in just another day had Pinkie not stepped in."

"Whoa." said Syntax, the word repeated by the rest of us save Pascal, who was bored and watching a bird fly from tree to tree, idly fingering his phone while he waited for the group meeting to disband. "Wait, what was that about meat?"

Twilight's eyes widened in realization momentarily "Oh, right. Sorry." looking over each of us her gaze fixed on me and trotted over. "Soulless, on your knees please."

"What?"

"Oooh! Damn dude! I didn't know you clopped!" Cried Arrow, trying his best to find humor in, anything really.

"And in Public too, Shame Twilight." Chimed in Rarity.

"Shut up. Both of you." Snapped Twilight, though she failed to hide the smile on her face. Curious, I did as I was asked and got on my knees. And Twilight leaned in and said "What do you see?" and opened her mouth.

"Teeth, tongue. A green haze?"

This earned a hoof to the stomach, "Buck you Soulless, what do you notice about my teeth?" and she opened her mouth again. And that's when I noticed it. All the normally visible teeth were square, but the ones in front were not cubed, like molar. But flat. Like human front teeth. Canines rested just behind the visible teeth.

"You're.... you're omnivoures?! No way..." I breathed

"Biologically, yes. The caloric intake required for the brain power used by sentient creatures is too high for grass and leaves alone. Which is what an herbivorous species would eat without the aid of agriculture. Ponies were a rather efficient predatory species back in the day. Things you've likely attributed to "Herd Mantality" was more likely "Pack Mentality.""

"Whoa," I mimicked Syntax. "Wait, then why is Equestria like, super peaceful. Shouldn't your predatory nature make you more violent?"

Twilight returned to her spot. "We have our moments, but so far the consensus of our peaceful ways is the wiring of our brain. To put it simply, we're extremely empathic. The very idea of causing somepony else pain, of any sort, causes about the same amount to ourselves. It was an effective survival behaviour that eventually extended to would be prey once agriculture had gotten good enough that hunting became less necessary for survival. As a species we've been vegetarian for about 6,000 years. Our teeth have actually changed as a result. Pony mouths used to be filled with razor sharp-"

"Twilight, this is fun and all, but I'm BORED!" Pinkie's voice. I took a look around. Me, Technia, and Syntax, were all leaning forward, enraptured. But everypony else was lying on their back or sides, some fiddling with random objects like grass, others engaged in low conversation with each other. Pascal was even brave enough to vocalize his frustrations at the mini game he was playing on his phone.

Blushing, Twilight looked at the grass." Right, sorry Pinkie. Not often I have eager students. It was too much to resist."

Without sitting up or drawing his attention away from the game, Pascal spoke up. "What are we going to do about The Nightmare?"

"Oh, that's easy! Nothing!" Cried Pinkie, a huge smile on her face.

"What? We can't just-"

"Silly filly, Celestia's been asleep for a whole week, not to mention her sister's been showering her with love! Sad love, but love all the same!" With those words spoken the IV glew red-pink as Twilight carefully magicked it out of Celestia's forleg. and Pinkie mumbled some latin and the cage liquified, seemingly into the ground.

For the first time in a week the great white Alicorn stirred. Groaning, her eyes fluttered open and her head lifted up. casting her eyes on those of us gathered.

"Oh.. um... good-" Celestia looked at the sky and back to us, "-afternoon everypony. Um.. I'm-" and without warning Celestia's eyes bulged, a howl escaped her.

"Ow, ow ow ow ow Somepony!" Though everyone jumped, Luna was the only one who made her way towards Celestia, and immediately began massaging her right hindleg. Calming the Princess of the Day quickly. Sighing, she said a quick thanks to her sister but blushed when she noticed everyone's stares of confusion and mild terror. "What? Have you never gotten a cramp before? They hurt!"

The sound of epic facehooves were heard clear across town. Even managing to echo once on the oddly shaped mountains.

Comments

[SoullessDCLXVI]

All right well.... obligatory apology of super lateness goes here. It was Halo 4's fault. I swear, it got up and stabbed me in the calf everytime I tried to get on the PC. I cried and begged but it was unforgiving. The game turned out to be better than I expected. Though what faults it does have are glaring. Like how they fucked up infection custom games. Ugh. I hope you guys enjoyed this. If it was too short, don't worry. I plan on writing another chapter if not tomorrow night, then the night after. I've been way too lax on this story and quite frankly I want to get to the good stuff.

[shirotora]

Excellent. I can't wait to see the repercussions on Celestia. Though I have to wonder if she was in control or if she even remembers it at all. I'm also kind of upset abut the explanation of the Nightmare. It's not that it was bad, it's just too close to the explanation I was going to use in "Into the Black". Oh well, it's different enough that I forgive you .

[theRedBrony]

We've even found evidence of meat in her digestive tract. Not unhealthy for a pony...

OK, so ponies are omnivores... seems legit...

Wait...

Chapter 12

"Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash would be okay with it, Fluttershy takes care of all creatures and all diets. And if I remember right, Dash said she's even eaten meat herself-"

"What?!" All four of us respond.

"From what I remember of what she told me, in a bizarre moment of curiosity she ate some of Gilda's chicken during flight camp. Apparently it tasted odd, but was in no way worth the severe gut wrenching pain that followed that evening."

imageshack.us/a/img254/6037/twifacehoof.gif

[SoullessDCLXVI]

1664064 Aha! I knew somepony would bring this up. Hell, I even predicted it'd be you. Here's the thing. While not unhealthy, Rainbow Dash's body was in no way used to digesting meat. She took far too much at one time and her body reacted poorly. Had she acclimated slowly the effects, while still present, would have been lessened. Though no real benefits would have come from the introduction of meat into her diet. It's the same as someone who's been eating healthy thier entire life suddenly intaking the greasiest, nastiest burger that they could find. Or vice-versa. Celestia's alicorn body was stronger, but she did have some stomach pains for a about a day.

[theRedBrony]

1665736 Aha! I knew you'd make such a rebuttal!

lol, but I thought it'd be different. I thought you'd say: Celestia is way older, these new generations have evolved away from eating meat. But hey, your explanation works too.

And of course I'd bring this up You know why.

[S1nt4x]

WOO!! An update! happy to see you back soulless! Nice chapter, i was actually really interested when you were explaining about ponies diets. I caught only one mistake while reading:" "Oooh! Damn dude! I didn't you clopped!" Cried Arrow, trying his best to find humor in, anything really. " I think you forgot to put "I didn't know you clopped!" Anyway, once more, welcome back!

[pinkdeath80]

I have to say I really like the way the whole Pink side story is going. Seeing a figment of his own imagination, and that being his sister. He is completely calm while his imagination is going psycho. It really is funny...and how I would more than likely react if that ever did happen.