• Member Since 8th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Feb 10th, 2021

Dark Java


Relatively new to writing but hopefully I can entertain some folks

Comments ( 62 )

6930531 Thanks lol glad you like it.

Pretty entertaining so far.
Saw a typo at the end. "Fridge" has a D in it, but "refrigerator" doesn't. English, go figure.

I want more chapters now!!! This story is great!!

6934787 Oh woops thanks for pointing that out.

First, great story, loving every second of it.

Two, Congratulations for making one of the few stories ive seen where Humans are not, "underpowered" compared to other races.

So, Trixie is the bad guy in this? I'll pass.

Glad to see someone doing reversed sexism in HiE fics. IMO it feels average in all aspects so far, but the story thus far and characterization will keep me glued to my screen for now.

More please :pinkiesmile:

How long till the moronic ponies realize human culture is way differet than theirs?

benevolently sexist

Is that actually a thing?

love it, the opposite sexism is just awesome. looking forward to another chapter

I'm tempted to upvote for Rita Repulsa alone... but I'll keep reading.

There was a loud piercing cackle as a Pony rose from within the cauldron's interior in a flowing glob of shadow. Jet black with long, scraggly black hair and what appeared to be a set of goat horns, the creature raised its hooves. "Ahhh! After ten thousand years I'm free! It's time to conquer Eques-" Spike quickly slammed the lid down on the creature. The cauldron rocked a back and forth a couple times then was still.

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

"Th..thanks, Spike. They really ought to review their containment procedures here."

Secure Containment Procedures (AKA, "SCP") reference? Awesome! :rainbowkiss:

7067014
I want a scene where the towering alien goes hunting in the Everfree for some much needed protein (not gonna find much meat in the markets around a town called "Ponyville", after all) and comes back with a headless bloody mess (immune to the effects of cockatrice stares, humans find these otherwise highly dangerous pony-nightmare-fuel creatures delicious) and a smile on his face.

He comes back with a headless, stealthy, super-predator and a happy/innocent looking grin at the thought of his next meal and ponies would start to reconsider the otherwise innocuous looking alien who apparently thinks cockatrice is "easy pickin's out there".

Much like the "humans can withstand more alcohol than ponies" attribute they have in this story, the "your magical-dangerous wildlife is easy to kill and a preferred meal" aspect of humans hunting would also play well to his favor... among the mares at least.
The stallions might start freaking out over be a little nervous about the alien (which likes to eat hyper-dangerous predators like they're an easier food source than getting apples in the market) brazenly walking around town like it's nothing out of the ordinary. :rainbowlaugh:

Really loving the story, hope the author does come back to it.
Faved and tracked.

Fluttershy with the perfectly reasonable response

Oho, this is an interesting story. Here, take my like.

Fun, though it's a bit of a shame it's dead. RGRE is always interesting.

Loving this story, hope it continues!

Holy crap, chapter 2; I'm hooked.

You've gotta keep going with this story man!

Despite what you may think about the clop section of this chapter, it being rushed and all, it didn't feel completely out of left field. Anyways, I'm really loving the RGRE aspect of the story.

Sir, you must continue this here story.
You've got me completely hooked, to not update would be a tragedy.

Instead of her own reflection, Twilight saw a shadowy shifting entity within the mirror. Two red eyes blazed from the darkness as it watched her. Her mouth dropped open and she began to walk toward it in a dreamlike daze, eyes dilating until she had almost no pupils left.

That should either be 'eyes constricting' if you meant the black part of her eyes were getting too small to see or 'almost no iris left' if you meant the colored part was being overtaken by the size of her pupils. As written, it currently says that her pupils got larger until they were too small to see.

Still reading through everything else, think it's a little cliche to use Trixie as an artifact seeking villain, but I understand your reticence to use an OC. I do like the idea of having to repeatedly deal with the hazards of fighting near so many cursed items, adds character to the fight scene, but I didn't like how it felt like it was primarily the heroes that were inconvenienced. An unfair distribution of hampering would have worked fine with an opponent portrayed as having extensively studied the vault's contents, and therefore knowing what to avoid, but Trixie was frantically searching through a catalog when they arrived, making it seem like contrivance that the battlefield favored her, rather than the fruition of intelligent planning on her part.

Kudos for not using "anonymous" as a name, major bonus points for a name thematically appropriate for the first human of their world.

Most likely some kind of magical pony condom. Or hoof armor, fingers are too squiggly for it to activate. Either way, might be worth something, take it and if needed toss it for space. He should know that already.

Please retake this, it shows promise!

7751548
Yeah, seem legit. If a fridge can save Indiana Jones from a nuclear blast then it should be able to protect Fluttershy from a rain of flaming snakes.

8743392
i think it's more along the lines of the writer died

8744980
True True I wonder if it’s possible someone else to come and pick up the story where he left off

Aaaand again an interesting story dies

Lowering her horn, she did the only thing that came to mind in the moment and sent a powerful beam of destructive energy into the mass. The force of the beam blew the nearby tent away and overturned a couple of carriages in its wake. The explosion cracked like thunder and could be heard for miles around.

It could have been so much better than this...
I have to say you botched the end of the chapter. The rest was brilliant.

I wonder what would happen if Saitama was put into a world like this.

I'm enjoying it so far. Here's to hoping that another chapter appears soon. *walks in the tall grass searching for a WILD CHAPTER*

She nodded and forced a smile. "Y-you too"

Twilight.


Twilight.

please :rainbowlaugh:

>snake
>boulder
>snake boulder

help :rainbowlaugh:

But why does it have a sock... oh. :rainbowderp:

6934787
Fridge is short for Frigid-Air, a brand of refrigerators. At that's what I remember learning when I looked it up a few years ago.

She took another sip of tea and slowly slid down off the chair and onto the floor. She walked over to the refridgerator, opened it and climbed inside. She shut the door. A refrigerator would be an okay place to live, she decided. Things at least made sense in the refridgerator.

Oh God why did you stop? This is gold! :rainbowlaugh:

Knowing Fluttershy, she probably installed air vents in it so she can hide in it without suffocating.

Damn... I just somehow know he get underpayed for the artefacts... So RD is a Gentlecolt-killer ( lady-killer genderreversed ) wonder what her Count is... Joe many races your guessing?

Damn fine chapter... Hope Trixie get Locked up for good for the Stunt before...

Sounds Fluttershy learnd to managed to roll with things having discord as house mate... :rainbowlaugh:

RD stikes again... Gentlecolt killer got a new race to her list :rainbowwild:

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