"This is Commander Tusk, designation CT-996, requesting back up! Multiple KIA. It's just me and Private S- AAGH!" Tusk said as he crumpled to the ground, a fresh hole in his chest.
Note: Short description, I know, but i'm not so good at writing them. And also, since this is my first story, I would not like flame and would accept some tips. and my OC Tusk does not at all look like the image above. But it is the closest image that there was compared to Tusk. So to clear things up, Tusk's armor is colored a grey camo, with olive green highlights similar to that of Commander Fil's armor. He also has two painted tusks going down from his visor to his respirators. Tusk's respirators and face plate of his helmet were uncamouflaged.
(All ownership belongs to Lucasfilms/Disney and Hasbro/Lauren Faust respectively)
It's alright. I do love me some clone wars.
I think you got the DNA mixed up Boba Fett appears after the Clone wars. Jango Fett appears during the first battle of Geonosis (I believe that is how it`s spelled). All of the clones DNA were based off of Jango`s DNA since he was known to be the best bounty hunter in the entire galaxy.
Mmm
Yay
Me likey
Editor needed, but I liken this!
Hey Wither Effect just a little fyi I have some ideas that I think you might wanna here pm me if ya do
envy20
Fixed
10/10 best fanfic ever :D
... If people are gonna do stormtrooper fics, than somebody has to do a story about T8-TR from episode seven being sent to Equestria after death and becoming best buds with loyalty.
+Kind of Brony
This fix is about a clone trooper
Here's a suggestion for when the crusaders bring Tusk to fluttershy. When they are speaking fast, don't put in any spaces. Plse don't get mad. It's a great story btw
Quick question, what happened to his blasters?
Well screw you to mane six! Also isn't he wearing armour? That protects from blasterz infinitely more dangerous than what the ponys can do beside strong spells, and his blasters? Any good soldier should always know where his weapons are!
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Devildogg20
I am currently working on fixing the blaster problem, and he was running from the magic spells Twilight were casting because he did not know how dangerous that they could be. I know I was not very spacific, so sry
Hmm... As much as I like star wars, I concur, This is a site for MLP fics (crossover, clop, drama, etc), not star wars. So if your character's gonna be using his "Z-6 rotary cannon" all the time or his "DC-17 Blaster Pistol Side arm", you could save all of us the time (Including you) by briefly explaining what the weapons systematically require, ammo, statistics, role in combat, and just call it something short, like minigun, gatling gun, blaster pistol, blaster rifle, etc... As for grammar and mechanics, it's your first story, but don't type like a spastic. Your not really on a time limit or something, take the time to comb through your story. I'm really sorry by the by if insulted you or anything, and if you need, I can be your editor?
-DP
6768333 At least say why, for the sake of the author of course.
I am going to put this story on hiatus at least until the winter break of my school comes up. The reason for this is that i am getting a lot more work to do so i don't have much time to actually write. Curses!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Tusk
Przypadek? Nie sądzę.
Coincidence? I don't think so.
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Omega6047
Who knows...
More please.
well...tusk just got the scare of his life.
Indeed
Now...when will the 'chaos' insue?
Great Chapter. Continue the story soldier!
YES SIR Moon Loving Changleing SIR!
General Jo LOL
7427367 As smart as Twi is, her common sense seems to escape her at times.
TWI YOU STUPID HORSE!!!!
When comes the next chapter?
Csgolover
This weekend. Sorry for the time in between
There's no space in Fluttershy's name
This chapter needs some serious work, there was no reason for Tusk to reach for his weapon, and the chapter just went way to fast.
jmlop0
I agree, I rushed this, but I still felt that I needed to bring the story somewhere other than just 'oh don't worry he's a friend' 'oh ok'
7508975 Didn't need to be, "Oh he is moving one of his appendages! Kill him!"
The thought that a timid, half-pint, pastel pony could send a hardened soldier running for cover is amusing to me.
Gods, not the big stick! My one weakness!
Shout... shout lasers... This is perfect.
Good job m9.
PIty, it had a lot of potentional and i liked the way you wrote the POVs. It was unique
Can you at least put it up for adoption on the forums?
qazse
I will think about
Oh, come on mate, how hard is it to write this?
Well, I guess the advice comes a bit too late to do any good, but you shouldn't ever give up on a project. Never ever. It's a nasty habit to indulge, as you're effectively robbing yourself. Even if you don't care about getting better at writing, the process of making something can be enjoyable for its own sake, and something you despised at first might become fun by the time it's finished.
Oh well. I'll still follow you anyway, just in case you decide to do something else. Hooves crossed.
I like this so far. I'm gonna see where this goes.
Let me adopt this story for safekeeping, because I would not want stories left unfinished over my dead body if you pardon me.
I loved reading this while it was here I will miss it but you do you don’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to do
Wtf dude.
I would really have liked it if he simply got up, grabbed a blaster, and said "Nope, I'm leaving, and if any of you try to stop me, I'll shoot you" leaving like a boss and perhaps "disabling" anyone who attempts to interfere.