Meeting Mischief Makes Mayhem... well, it ends up near it, at least.
Meeting Mischief Makes Mayhem... well, it makes trouble at least.
___________________________________________________________
A loud bell ringing draws me from my blissful time in the land of sleep and I slowly open my eyes, only to glare as Spoiled Rich comes into focus.
“Good,” she says firmly, turning her already upturned nose even further up. “Get up. We have much for you to learn.”
“Not on your... wait. What the heck?!” I’ve only just noticed something about myself that hadn’t been that way when I went to sleep last night.
My hair is now much shorter, more like Diamond Tiara’s and combed in an elegant, yet different style.
Looking around, there are several maids and servants in the room, all standing around my bed, some holding hair products and others tools for combing hair.
I make a mirror appear before me and gape. I look like Diamond, but with a slightly curlier styling to my mane and tail.
I turn, glaring at Spoiled. “What the hell is this for?”
She frowns, well, more so than before, anyway and sniffs. “Is this word “hell” meant to represent something?”
I snort. “If you need a translator, it basically means Tartarus. So, I basically was swearing at you.” Yeah, I know. Like holding a mouse in front of a starving, rabid cat. But, can you blame me? When was the last time you went to sleep, only to wake up and find out the one meant to be one of your parents completely changed your looks whilst you slept without asking you first?
At once, her eyes narrow. “You dare to swear at me?! These lessons cannot come soon enough!” She turns around, her head held high. “Now, come with me, Lilac and I will do my best to try and turn you into a respectable mare, as impossible a task it may seem.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
She stops, before slowly turning around, eyeing me warningly. “Ex-cuse me?!”
I just look coldly at her sideways. “You can go off and be all Miss Most Important Pony in the World According to Myself as you want. But you’re not dragging me into it.”
Her right eye twitches, causing me to smirk. Who’d have thought ticking off this bitch who we as a fandom had never known until season five was the reason Diamond acted so rude and was even worse would be so much fun? Turning into an Earth Pony and being trapped in this world has been worth that alone. Being Screwball and having Chaos Magic is just a bonus, really.
“You ungrateful retch!” she snarls, taking several steps back towards me. “If not for me you would have died as a foal! It is by my good graces that you were allowed to live and are even staying in this room! One word from me and you can be taken away, never to be seen again. Now, do as you are told and follow my orders to the letter, without question and only speak when spoken to! Understand, you spawn of Discord?!”
Any goading cheer I was feeling instantly cuts off. I stare at her as she turns to leave, blinking for several moments, before my face darkens.
“Now, I’ve disposed of that putrid beanie you were wearing yesterday,” she continues, unaware of the death glare aimed at her head. “Such attire is not something a proper mare wears and neither shall you, Lilac. I have found a lovely tiara, much like your sister’s, that you shall wear instead. I expect it to be on your head at all times when out. You will never remove it unless told to or cleaning yourself. Is that understood?”
“No.”
At once, she stops, glancing over her shoulder with narrowed eyes. “Come again, Lilac?”
“I said “no”,” I repeat, lifting my head, glaring at her. Yellow light flashes and spreads out along my mane and tail, returning them to what they had been before, along with a flash revealing my beanie back on my head. “You can go fuck yourself. I’m not doing what you say.”
She turns around, glaring firmly at me. “You wish to be taken away? If not, you will obey me, Lilac. Are we clear on that?” she finishes with a smirk, as if that was the last word on the matter. Oh, she is so wrong.
I growl. “I. am not. Lilac.” I slowly float up, my mane and tail moving slowly in an ethereal wind. “You left her to die.”
She snorts. “Lilac, enough of this foolish—”
“My name. Is SCREWBALL!” I scream, a fierce wind bursting outward, as if from within my very body. “I am not some simple puppet you can use to your own will, Spoiled Rich!” My irises are shining yellow as I aim my sight at the mare who dares to act like she can control me. “I am not, nor will I ever be, a project you can use however you desire! I am my own being! I have a mind, a heart, a soul! My own force of will and you have no say in what I feel or want! I decide that, not you! You may be my mother by biological birth, but you have no hold over me!”
I turn my head to the servants and maids, all of whom cower under my gaze, which softens as I look at them. “I do not blame, nor hold anything against any of you. Go, now!”
They all nod, before running frantically out the door, completely ignoring Spoiled’s order’s to return.
Once it is just the two of us, I return my gaze to her, any kindness leaving it at once as a cold smirk forms on my lips.
“And, did you seriously think I’d be scared of being taken away? Really?! The Element Bearers already know I am no threat, Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter herself, will attest to that. How did you honestly think that would work against me? How could you even enforce such a threat? I have Chaos Magic! The only thing that can stop that currently in Equestria is null en void due to the wielders of said power not believing a foal is any danger. The Royal Guard? You think they could ever even touch me? Even the Princesses themselves would have no chance against me, you spoiled mare!”
She just keeps standing there, glaring coldly at me. “You will obey me or—”
“Or NOTHING!” I screech, a burst of wind slamming against Spoiled, sending her flying out the room and down over the edge of the stairs, landing with a thud on one of the plush couches. I’m a chaos user; aim is trivial, even when I can’t see where I’m aiming.
After several moments, I calm down, taking several deep breathes. Once I’ve calmed enough, I walk out the room, downstairs and into the kitchen, where I see Randolph preparing what looks like a lunch for school.
“Morning, Randy,” I say happily as I move over to the fridge, opening it with my magic and looking for something to snack on for breakfast.
He glances over, before blinking. “Randy?”
I turn to look at him, my expression simple. “Would you rather I not use a nickname?”
He nods. “My apologies Miss Li—”
“Screwball.” He blinks, to which I roll my eyes. “I don’t care what my so-called mother says, my name is Screwball, not Lilac. She left Lilac to die when she was a foal.”
There’s a pause, before his expression saddens a little and he nods, before returning to prepare the lunch.
Having found an apple, I levitate it out of the fridge, making it peal and core itself, the unwanted stuff teleporting to the Apple Family’s compost bin. “Why’re you preparing a lunch?” I ask, taking a bite of my apple and savouring the delicious flavour. Apple Family apples beat real world apples any day.
He blinks, before sighing, shaking his head and chuckling. “I was getting it ready for Miss Tiara, as it is Monday, but... I forgot she’s in the hospital.”
I scoff. “Only cos Spoiled’s so pathetic she won’t let her daughter just bear it like any other pony and has to make a big show about it to reenforce her own over-bloated ego.”
He nods, before shaking his head. “I guess I’m just used to the routine. Old habits are hard to break, you know?”
I nod, before I notice the odd look he’s giving me. “What’son your mind?” I ask as I toss the last of the apple, about a quarter, into my mouth and chomp away.
He shakes his head. “It’s just... you look so much like your sister, Miss Li— Screwball. Why, if you were able to somehow change your appearance a little, you’d be identical.”
I shrug. “Yeah, but we’re totally different ponies when it comes to personality, at least for the moment. Me being mistaken for Tiara would be...” I trail off, before smirking. “Fun. I think I know somepony who could use that packed lunch, today after all, Randolph.”
___________________________________________________________
The Cutie Mark Crusaders walked into class, all grinning ear to ear. It had been learned thanks to Featherweight that two certain fillies would not be in school today due to being in the hospital on account of having their stomachs pumped the other day. That meant no torment from Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon today.
“I wonder what exactly happened,” Sweetie Belle asked as they moved to their seat and waited for class to begin.
“Dunno,” her orange Pegasus friend said, putting her hooves behind her head. “But, I’m not complaining. A whole day of school without those two? Talk about a dream come true.”
“Okay, class,” Miss Cheerilee said, bringing all the fillies’ and colts’ attention to her. “Now, before we start, I’d like to point of that two ponies will not be in class today. Yesterday, something happened during all of Pinkie Pie’s pranks and now Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are in hospital after having had their stomachs pumped. With that in mind—”
“Hold everything, Miss Cheerilee!” a voice said, following the door flying open and heads turning in that direction. “I have arrived. You need not deal with just the commoner anymore.”
All eyes were on Diamond Tiara as she walked into the room, moving with the same self-assurance and confidence as she always did... but Apple Bloom frowned.
Something about Tiara’s movements was... off. She couldn’t place her hoof on what it was though. Something about the way she carried herself seemed... different than usual.
Miss Cheerilee was staring at Diamond, her expression just as baffled as the students. “But, Diamond Tiara, I thought you were meant to be in the hospital?”
“I can assure you, Miss Cheerilee,” the filly replied, Apple Bloom noticing a slight curving of her lips, “I haven’t set hoof in a hospital this day, nor need to.”
“Um, yes, well...” the teacher said, looking uncertain. “Very well, Diamond Tiara. Take your seat and class can begin.”
Apple Bloom watched as Diamond moved to her seat, before glancing at the farm filly, giving a sneaky grin and winking.
She blinked, shaking her head, wondering if she’d just seen what she thought she saw, but noticed Diamond was now facing the front of the class as their teacher began the lesson.
Sumthin’ up, she thought, cocking an eyebrow at the smiling pink filly. Ah dunno what, but it’s sumthin’.
___________________________________________________________
“Now, as we can see from this chart. When the pegasi focused their efforts they managed to—”
A large, loud belch interrupted the teacher, causing her and everypony else to look to the young pink filly, who was leaning back with her hind legs crossed on her desk, picking at her teeth with a hoof.
“Phew,” she said, smirking. “That was a big one. Must’ve been that omelet last night. Gotta lay off the radishes.”
“Diamond Tiara,” Miss Cheerilee said, sounding slightly annoyed. This was the tenth time she’d done something that was not only disruptive to the class, but felt really out of place for the high society filly. “Would you kindly stop interrupting or it’s a Satur detention for you.”
“Yeah, sure,” Tiara replied, picking her nose without care.
Several fillies and colts went “Eew”, whilst the CMC just stared at their long time tormentor, open-mouthed. What in the hay had gotten into Diamond today? Normally she held herself with such poise, such elegance... but today she was acting like a total slob. It didn’t make any sense.
Miss Cheerilee took a deep breath, before stomping a hoof. “Diamond, if you act out once more, you’ll be having a whole weekend detention.”
“Meh,” the filly shrugged, before getting up and trotting towards the door.
“And where are you going?” the teacher asked firmly.
“I thought this would be more fun, but it’s boring now,” the filly replied, opening the door and glancing at the CMC. “Later, Crusaders.”
With that, she walked out, leaving the whole classroom in a stunned silence.
___________________________________________________________
I wait until I’m a good distance from the schoolhouse, before keeling over and rolling on the ground, laughing.
Oh, that was priceless! I can’t wait for Diamond to try explaining why she acted that way in front of the whole class.
Hey, I know she’s gonna be reformed in about a year, but I can still have some fun, can’t I? We are sisters now, after all. What kind of sister would I be if I didn’t pull a few pranks on her here and there?
After managing to get my laughter under control, literally tying a leash around it as telling it to calm down, I get up, shake my head, and lift my disguise.
The tiara on my flank disappears as a beam of yellow light moves over it, replacing it with a screw and baseball. My mane and tail grow out and curl, the tiara on my head turns into a propeller beanie and my eyes go from blue irises around black pupils to purple spirals.
“Can’t wait for Spoiled to learn what I just did,” I snicker, making my lunch appear before me and heading into town, wondering when the events of Season Two are gonna start up. It’s been a few days since Discord’s defeat. When’s the next thing meant to start?
I glance around, levitating one of the apple slices Randolph put in the lunch and taking a bit, before I feel a tingle in my body.
Glancing around a bit more searchingly, I recoil as I hear an explosion and see a Rainboom spread across the sky and a rainbow-coloured stream of smoke became visible from the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.
“Oh,” I say quietly, wilting a little. “It would appear Lesson Zero is... ” I gulp, "today." I’m not sure if the Want It, Need It spell will work on me, but I’m pretty sure I’d rather not find out.
___________________________________________________________
“What the hay was up with Tiara, today?” Scootaloo asked as the three Crusaders walked into the park, Sweetie Belle carrying her rainbow-striped inflatable ball with a foreleg.
“Dunno,” Apple Bloom frowned. “Sumthin’ was up, Ah can tell ya that much.”
“Tell me about it,” Sweetie Belle said, nodding. “She didn’t even call us Blank Flanks. When was the last time she called as Crusaders without adding an insult to it?”
The Pegasus shrugged. “Uh, never. It’s weird.”
Apple Bloom stopped when she saw a purple and white tail pocking a little out of a nearby bush. “Let’s ask her an’ find out.”
With that, she walked over, grabbed the tail in her mouth and yanked.
There was a startled yelped as the filly attached to said tail was pulled unceremoniously out of the bush.
“Alright, Diamond Tiara, just why... were... you...?”
They all blinked at the filly laying before they, confusion on each of their little faces.
It... looked like Diamond Tiara, but there were several differences between this filly and the snobby pony who had done nothing but cause them trouble.
Instead of a tiara her Cutie Mark looked like a screw and a baseball. Her mane and tail were much longer than Diamond Tiara’s and far curlier. On her head she was wearing a propeller beanie. However, it was the eyes that shocked them the most. They were purple spirals; no pupils at all.
___________________________________________________________
Having decided to take a nap in some bushes to avoid Twilight’s eventual casting of the Want It, Need It spell, I had not expected to suddenly feel a yanking on my tail, nor to be pulled out of the bush by said tail.
Once I’ve gotten my bearings, I look up with an annoyed frown at the one who’d decided to wake me so rudely. I swear, if it’s Spoiled, screw risking the timeline, I’m gonna send her to the moon.
Instead, I blink as I see three fillies with no Cutie Marks, one of whom, the unicorn, is hold a rainbow-striped ball.
I blink, before understanding dawns on me. The CMC are going to play ball, which will be shortly followed by Twilight’s arrival.
Sweetie Belle is looking at me with a cocked eyebrow. “You look at lot like Diamond Tiara. Are you her twin sister?”
The orange Pegasus that will eventually become Rainbow Dash’s adoptive sister rolls her eyes. “Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara doesn’t have a sister. She’s an only child.”
“Nope. She’s spot on,” I say, blinking as I realize my voice had sounded like Spike’s for second. They all clearly take note of that too, if the raised eyebrows are any indication. “Sorry,” I say with my normal voice. “That happens when I quote others without thinking about it.” Really gonna have to watch that in the future.
“Wait,” the second of us Earth Ponies says, holding up a hoof. "What did ya mean, she’s spot on?”
I get up, nodding to the unicorn. “About me being Diamond’s twin sister. She was spot on with that guess.”
“WHAT?!” they all cry, their eyes wide.
“Diamond Tiara has a twin sister?” Scootaloo looks from me to her friends, then back. “How come we never heard about you? Where have you been all this time, under a rock?”
“More like left in a hospital to rot,” I mutter bitterly, though apparently not so quiet the three fillies didn’t hear me.
“In a hospital?” Apple Bloom asks, cocking an eyebrow. “Why were ya in a hospital? And, again, how come we ain’t never heard o’ ya. A member o’ Diamond’s family bein’ in the hospital is pretty big news.”
I snort. “Not when your biological mother makes sure nopony even knows of your existence.”
They all blink, before Apple Bloom asks, “Wha?”
I sigh and explain the situation to them, though I leave out most of the details. No need for them to know Spoiled left me to rot for her rep, at least until the days Crusaders of The Lost Mark happen. Then I’ll let them know everything. I do not, however, leave out the part about my chaos powers.
“Ah get that Diamond’s ma wouldn’t want nopony bothering them bought a daughter that seemed sorta...” she gulped, “dead, but... that seems a bit much.”
I shrug. “Well, what do you expect from a mare who worries about her social image?”
Silence rests among us for a bit, before Sweetie smiles and says, “Wanna play with us, Screwball?”
I look at their innocent faces, knowing full well just how much trouble the fillies owning said faces have and will cause in the future, but can’t help but smile and nod. They are technically the first ponies my new age I’ve really interacted with aside from Diamond. It would be nice to just play a game.
I frown slightly, scratching my head.
“What’s wrong, Screwy?” Scootaloo asks, having noticed my expression as they moved to start the game to include me.
I shake my head, still frowning. “I... I can swear I had to remember something about today, but... for the life of me, it won’t come to mind.”
“Maybe ya’ll remember it later,” Apple Bloom says, nodding to Sweetie, who bounces the ball into the air. “Now, let’s play ball.”
I smile and nod, hitting the ball with my head as it comes towards me, aiming it at the other Earth Pony.
After several bounces, that nagging feeling returns. When I pass the ball to Scootaloo, she doesn’t respond fast enough and it bounces of her head, making us all giggle.
As the ball stops pretty much dead centre between the four of us, it glows with a purple aura and expands, before popping, revealing a Twilight with a very dishevelled mane, eyes that are pinpricks and a really unnerving smile.
“Hi, girls!”
At once, my ears wilt as I remember just why I had originally wanted to get away from the CMC.
“Oh, would you look at the time,” I say quickly, lifting my right foreleg, which now sports a fancy watch. “Gotta go check how my sister’s doing in the hospital. See ya!”
With that last word I teleport away, determined to avoid the disaster that is about to happen, but that I can’t interfere with if the timeline is to work right.
___________________________________________________________
As Fluttershy and Rarity helped Pinkie with putting away the dishes from the picnic, Applejack leaned against a tree, a stick a straw in her mouth, her Stetson over her eyes, whilst Dash laid on the ground her with hooves behind her head and shades over her eyes.
A suddenly popping sound caused them all to glance up to see an anxious filly they all met the other day.
“Screwball?” Fluttershy asked, noticing the worried glances the filly made as she turned her head to each of them. “Is something wrong?”
“No, no,” the filly replied, looking around again, as if searching for something else, before nodding, though her anxiety didn’t falter in the slightest. “Good, you’re all here. Never mind me. I’m just gonna go hide somewhere safe until sundown. Bye!”
With that the filly disappeared, leaving them all to glance at each other.
“Probably a game she’s playing with some other foals,” Dash shrugged, returning to lazing on the ground. The others nodded and returned to what they’d been doing.
___________________________________________________________
When the teleport ends, I look around, before frowning.
I’m in the Everfree, near where the Tree of Harmony is, to be exact.
One of my ears twitch and I raise an eyebrow, listening. I can hear the sound of shifting plants.
I teleport again, to appear in front of the Tree of Harmony. It’s not a dull-looking as it was back when Discord’s Plunder Plants were on the loose. Or should I say will be?
Ag! Speaking about stuff in my past that’s yet to happen here can get really confusing at times.
A twinkling sound returns my attention to the Tree.
I cock an eyebrow, then walk forward until I’m standing in front fo the Tree.
Unsure why, I lift my right forehoof and place it on the trunk, just a few spots down from Luna’s Cutie Mark.
Suddenly, there’s a blinding flash of light and all goes white.
___________________________________________________________
I blink, looking around. I seem to be in a world of white.
“Uh, hello?” I call out, hunching down a little as I hear my voice echo around me. “Uh... is anybody here?”
I am.
I jump, before looking around, but see no one.
“Who... who is that?” I call out again, wondering just what’s going on.
It is interesting to meet you at last, Screwball, the voice says. I did not expect you to visit us so soon. But, we are glad you do not come bringing chaos. My magic is still strong, but I would not be able to hold off the plants and deal with yourself at the same time.
I blink, before it hits me. “You’re the Tree of Harmony!” I gasp.
I feel as if the Tree nods. Indeed, I am. Thank you for not interfering with events you know must come to pass.
I blink, before frowning. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
Ask away.
“How come I can do almost anything, as opposed to just anything?” I look around, still not sure where I should be looking to be speaking with the Tree.
There are rules you and Discord follow, Screwball, the Tree replies. Even the both of you cannot break them.
I blink, before my frown turns to confusion. “Wait. Rules? We’re beings of chaos. What kind of rules can we not break? If anything, rules should be something he and I should be able to ignore.”
I feel the Tree shaking its head. Did you never wonder why Discord taunted the Bearers with his games instead of simply making sure there was no way they could stop him right away?
I frown, before nodding. “Well, yeah, a little at times, though I normally just go with the theory he didn't take it seriously because he didn't think they'd beat him. I’m not the only one who wonders, either. I can’t tell you the number of fanfics I read where Discord didn’t bother with those rules and just did whatever, or where he changed them, but... actually, I’d rather not talk about those. A lot of them involved clop. And, considering I’m a little filly, that’s stuff I really shouldn’t be thinking about.”
Says the chaos being who, on her first night in this world, experimented with herself using her chaos powers, the Tree replies.
I blush. “W-well, I’m still an adult in my head. And, I was a guy for twenty-four years. You honestly expect me not to be curious about how the other side felt during that kinda thing? Besides, it’s my own body. I can do what I want and it not be wrong... right?”
I swear the Tree chuckles. Regardless, I do believe we’ve gone off topic. As to answer your question, Discord had to give the Bearers a chance. He did this because there are unspoken rules yourself and Discord are bond to. It is the price for being able to manipulate reality in ways no other being can.
“Okay, I get it,” I say, waving a hoof. “It’s like in Ben 10: Ultimate Alien, when Professor Paradox says there are places he can’t go and things he can’t do. Like that kinda thing, right?”
I sense the Tree feels confused, before slowly saying, I suppose you can look at it that way. Probably doesn’t even know what I was talking about. Now, is that all? I feel you can return safely, without Twilight Sparkle’s spell affecting you now.
I nod, before frowning. “If I told you I know something that’s going to happen to you, would you already know about it?”
I’m met with silence. I’ll take that as a "yes".
There’s a flash of light.
___________________________________________________________
When my eyesight returns I’m standing in front of the Tree, my hoof still pressed against it.
I look up at it, still glowing with its strength, magic holding back the vines that will grow from the Plunder Seeds Discord planted little over a thousand years ago.
I smile, nodding to it. “It was nice chatting with you, Tree. See ya around.”
I walk out of the cave and look up at the sky. The stars are out, meaning Celestia has already lowered the sun and the whole riot caused by Twilight’s spell is over.
Smirking to myself, I teleport, ready to return home. Wonder if Spoiled was amongst the crowd. If so, that’s good blackmail material.
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The word Until has been replaced with Unless when 'Screwy' chats up the other elements of harmony. Clearly, there are forces of chaos at work here.
I laughed an evil laugh when i read that
Awesome story.
Awwwwwww, it's over already? But I was just really getting into it...
New chapter soon, plox.
That was great, the whole simple morning greeting. I love that in these types of comedies.
if instead of in?
off not of
to be honest I think you meant tail here but I think all in all that it still works, seeing as to how the tail can be seen as telling them where she is.
if it's
need a quotation mark before what
this needs reworked I believe
6841545 i think its perfect cause since he/she became a being of chaos its make's his/her's word's random lol
*The tree whisperer*
Spoilt = spoiled
Essentially.
Whenever screwball teleports, I imagine the apparition spells from harry potter:
You know, this seems a bit funnier in hindsight now that S8 reveals the Tree does have a mind of its own.
Wow this was before The Tree in the actual show started talking
Professor paradox is the best character to ever come from ben 10
I hate to be that guy but I can't resist pointing out the flaw in the name they're called plunder Vines not plunder plants don't believe me look it up but otherwise see everything is pretty much spot-on maybe going a little bit faster in the timeline but whatever the sooner spoiled Rich gets knocked down a couple of pegs the better in my opinion
I'm pretty sure Harry Potter experience that. Remember? In the first book?
That was close