RTSgamer18
Joined 15th Dec, 2014 ·
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Seems a little rushed, but not bad. :)
nice
Like I said, hated only because those same constant lovers don't like change.
I guess this story is dead
6924959 Not dead just lack of inspiration on what to write.
6926988 aw I do want more of it
i wonder how everyone in equestria would of reacted if they learned that twilight was telling the truth...*makes a sinister smirk* ill make sure to have popcorn ready for it
life life
I wonder what will happen if those in equestria found proof that twilight was innocent
Jesus I was not expecting this update at all, well I guess it's here so I have to review it. The first thing that comes to mind when reading this is grammar. It felt like you got better towards the end for some reason but never the less, your grammar is what really stands out in this it and it felt wierd to read it because it didn't flow well from one sentence into another until the very end. My suggestion is reading popular fics such as Fallout: Equestria or Your Human and You or some other nicely written fic to get a grasp of how to improve your grammar, or get a proofreader if you don't like reading long fics. Another thing is its moving too fast. We have a few conversations before its the next day and then your half way across Skyrim with a few words, all I can say is detail is key. Describe your surroundings more as you walk and talk. Have more conversations make the character(s) think more than just 'aw Twilight sleeping is cute' or 'I don't want to leave her'. This will offer more than just bulk time your story, it will also be good for character development, which is what every good story needs. That's enough from me, i don't want to hurt your head too much so I'll leave this with you and I hope it helps with any future writing from you. Good luck and always enjoy what you do.
any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?
6926988
Will Twilight meet with Ulfric Stormcloak?