Fallen Foes
“It would seem that this is the end of the line for you, my old enemy.”
I speak the words softly as the green glow of healing magic fades from my tail-hand. Removing the appendage from your chest, my fingers gently close your blankly staring eyes. Really, Mrs. Do, a heart attack while dodging a paltry few falling rocks? I knew the years were catching up with you, but this…
This is not how I expected things to end. If I am to be honest with you, I had forgotten that they would end. That you, like everything else, would eventually fade away into dust, memories, and finally, oblivion. Do you have any idea of what an accomplishment that is? To make one such as I forget, even briefly, that all things must end? All of the ruins you explored, all of the traps you evaded, the relics you discovered, the plots you foiled.
Did you even realize that your greatest achievement was making me feel alive again?
Me, an immortal who has seen eternity. Who has watched ages pass. Who has seen his own civilization fade from life, to memory, to myth, and finally to nothing. Everything my people made, every bustling city, every magnificent statue, every written word and awe inspiring wonder, lost and forgotten. Ground away by the inexorable passage of time.
I can still remember the day we first met. The look of shock on your face when you woke me from my slumber in that ‘Ancient Tomb of Evil.’ Did it never occur to you that despite all the dire warnings, the ominous carvings, the deadly traps and clever puzzles, there was nothing actually keeping me in my so called ‘prison?’ I will admit that my décor may have been a bit melodramatic. But its purpose was not to keep me in but to keep troublesome trespassers such as yourself out. When I constructed that place, I wished to be left alone. To wallow in my ennui and sleep away the centuries. To avoid the pointless trivialities of existence until existence itself came to an end.
Would you believe that upon awakening my first act was going to be to berate you for disturbing my slumber? I would merely have cast you out, dusted off my hands, and returned to my fugue state.
But you spoke first. I can still recall your words:
“An evil monster! Jinkies! What villainy have I unleashed upon the world?”
As I am sure you’ve noticed, I have something of a flair for the dramatic. I could hardly allow a line such as that to pass! You expected a villain, so I gave you one. As overblown, megalomaniacal, and melodramatic a villain as there ever was. When I ‘fled’ my ‘prison,’ I merely planned to wander the world for a few moons. See how little of the world I once knew remained. Then return to my slumber once a certain winged house crasher had left.
But you... you followed me. Tracked me. Stalked and harassed me. So quick to leap into action! So quick to leap to conclusions! You had such fire, such passion and determination! Such drive and energy! All directed towards defeating me, your nemesis.
It was magnificent!
Is it any wonder I went to such lengths to fulfil the role you set for me? The ridiculous speeches, the flawed death traps, the clueless minions? Did you truly believe the baubles I ‘sought’ meant anything to me? Watching you rescue a few small scraps of the past from oblivion was the true prize.
Oh, deep in my heart I knew it was all futile. The bits and pieces you collected were naught but echoes of the past. And echoes fade with each generation, until there is nothing but silence. Did it ever occur to you that someday all that will remain of your civilization will be a few bits and baubles resting in glass cases? That the artifacts that you were so proud to have ‘wrested from my evil grasp’ will be naught but dust? Did you ever realize that all that you spent your life doing was, at best, delaying the inevitable?
No, I am certain that those thoughts never crossed your mind. Such an epiphany would surely have robbed you of the joy and exuberance you derived from each new discovery, each scrap of knowledge and whisper of the past. Your energy and ignorance were infectious, and for a few brief moments you allowed me to forget the truth and revel in the here and now.
And now you are gone. And already the world grows cold without your fire, your passion. Perhaps it is time I returned to my slumber?
“You! You killed her! You killed my mother!” And suddenly there is an angry pegasus filly before me. Gold furred and gray maned, her rose-colored eyes stare right into mine. Your daughter I presume? I am embarrassed to admit that I had not realized you had brought her along on this little quest. An unforgivable oversight on my part, Mrs. Do. But in my defense, your sudden passing has left me out of sorts.
I wish I could comfort her. Tell her that you meant as much to me as you did to her. Tell her that in the pain of your loss, we are siblings.
But I cannot.
I am the villain. That is the role you cast me in. The mantle I happily accepted and embraced over these few, short decades. And I cannot help but feel it would be disrespectful to cast it off so soon after your passing.
“You’re going to regret killing Mommy!” Your daughter growls at me, and I must say Mrs. Dashing Do, she has certainly inherited your passion. The fire in her eyes is unquenched by the tears pouring out of them. Those angry red orbs glare at me accusingly, filled with such sadness and rage and above all determination. Staring into those eyes, so young and yet so like yours, I find it difficult to summon a proper villainous sneer. But I persevere.
“Miss Daring Do, I am the immortal Ahuizotl. I regret nothing.”
Perhaps sleep can wait a few more decades.
This story was written for the Write Off association's short story contest "I Regret Nothing." It came in fourth, and missed third place by a whisker.
The original inspiration for this idea was the story "Temporary Haitus" by TheMessanger. It's an enjoyable little fic and heavily influenced the original seed idea for this story.
When I first started modifying the original 750 word story to meed FIMFiction's thousand word minimum requirement, I planned to expand it with a whole bunch of additional material. References to Ahuizotl planting historical documents and clues to ancient ruins in the libraries Dashing Do frequented. Mentions of past battles and artifacts. Perhaps a comment on the fact that if he had truly been dangerous, then that youngling the ponies called Princess would have tried to do something about him.
But I just couldn't seem to fit that material in without ruining the flow of the story.
So here it stands with only a few minor tweaks and additions, basically unchanged from it's original form. Hopefully it has retained the charm that served it so well in the Write Offs. 
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Ok actually liked the twist that the one Ahuizotl was morning was Dareing's mother, some how I don't see Dareing ever saying Jjnkies.
That was a fantastic plot twist. Well done.
6466066
You know, half the people who reviewed this story in the Write Off hated the 'Jinkies' and felt it broke the immersion of the story. The other half thought it was hilarious and a wonderful addition. In the end I decided to leave it as is instead od removing it. I figure that if nothing else, it gives a hint that it isn't Daring Do he's talking about.
6467190
Thanks. I appreciate it.
6468739
Well jinkies is a fine word, I like it, I just don't see Dareing saying it, makes me think her mom was more nerdy.
A nice short story with a little twist at the end. Well done. (Also, first like!)
loved the story, it was sad and emotional, with a great plot twist to the end fore shadowing maybe future stories.
Awesome little short story you have here, I must admit, I wasn't expecting that twist at the end. I do feel somewhat bad for both of them however, him for being unable to comfort her and her for losing someone so important (trying to avoid spoilers makes me sound like a moron since I can't go into detail about who I am talking about lol).
I admit, I'm with the group of people who thought jinkies was both funny and a sort of nod to all those old cartoons some of us grew up watching.
And while I see if far, far to often in story comments saying that you should write more a story (I myself am guilty of that), I mus admit, I wouldn't mind reading something from his point of view as he does battle for all those bobbles and trinkets, perhaps even from both of their point of views.
Still, weather you add more to this or not, it was enjoyable. So... bravo.
30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmcr8j32vo1qixleeo1_400.gif
That was very well done. The writing was excellent and I really liked the way you twisted things from his perspective. It didn't quite have the literary depth of Coming Home, but it was still great.
Really enjoyable and just-heartwrenching-enough.
I do hope that Ahuizotl does someday let Daring know that he didn't actually kill her mom; it'd be sad if she spent her whole life driven by hate.
That's very strangely heartwarming. I wonder if Ahuizotl would try to teach Daring Do's daughter things, in a strange villainous way of respect. The voice you gave him was so interesting to read.
That was rather touching. So much effort put into making sure one young girl would get to be happy and get to do what she does best. This should have been placed higher.
The sight of your dead mother fills you with determination.
Is this an UNDERTALE fic?
This... is something that actually makes sense... I could even see Ahuizotl going so far as to construct temples with death traps and stuff, spreading rumours of a "doomy talisman of doom", then plan an evil plan for her to foil.
I like how he's not evil, he just like playing the villain...
6466066 Yeah, I hear ya.
I can hear Velma Dinkley (of the Mystery, Inc. gang) saying that, but not our dear Daring Do.
And to the author, nice spin on this. You had me actually thinking that it was Daring right up til the end there.
Bravo, and well done, sir!
Or madam, as the case might happen to be.
If it wasn't almost impossible for me to actually cry then I would have shed a good bit of tears from this story. You madam have done a great job.
Oh, that was nice! For once, a perspective I truly didn't see coming.
Have a like and a fav.
What a swerve there at the end! And how nice to see a sympathetic Ahuizotl.
Have a like!
Ahuizotl is perhaps a little bit lucky that he can have it both ways, both giving purpose and excitement to his own life while dropping hints to Daring Do as to where new artifacts to be found are located, inspiring her to continue her own adventures. One wonders how long he can keep this scheme going, with perhaps a Daring Do III or Daring Do IV.
I suppose, in any case, that once he no longer has any of Daring Do's descendants remaining that pester him, I could see him finding one of his fellow immortals (Celestia, Luna, Discord), regaling them with the tale of this feisty mare and her family line that gave his life meaning for a brief blip of time, then sealing himself away again.
You could perhaps link his monologue about the passage of time and the meaningless of physical objects that will eventually become dust to the more metaphysical, emotional, etc. If Ahuizotl possesses a sufficient enough memory, in ten thousand years he may be the only one who remembers Daring Do, with none of her books remaining.
Wow... just... wow.
Well after all where would a villain be without a hero to fight him?
Second time... Dang! What a good story. Sad at the same time.
Read the story again & again, & decided to edit my comment: Sad but in the end... a sense of hope. A drive for perseverance... Behind every cloud is the brightness of the sun.
A good story. I hope he continues to lead Daring's descendant on an extended merry chase.
I freakin' love this.
Well, that settles it. I like the way your mind quirks. Have a watch!
Bravo. Great read
At the end, I'm assuming the filly is Dashing Do, but you've got Ahuizotl calling her Daring Do.
7659427 Actually, the mother is Dashing Do :P Daughter is Daring Do! In otherwords? Daring's mother woke him, and he simply allows Dashing's legacy to continue for her daughter, allowing her the same fire to burn. She needs the adventure too, and Ahruizotl will grant it.
6661304
You mean Dashing Do's daughter, Daring Do.
Hi! I love your story, it's such a touching take on the idea. Do you mind if I refer to Dashing Do in an entry for the Smoking Tiger Collective please? I thought it might be a nice way to tie in.
Well, heck. This was more than depressing.
Dang that was super sad
Excellent! Cohesive backstory, and great pacing. You probably did right to exclude the additional tidbits, to not ruin the flow, because I can't see any way to improve upon it.
(Personally I would have enjoyed a brief farewell from the villain and a change of tone, sort of "holding hands" as the time was up, but a majority of readers would surely find it cheesy, so you did the right thing.)
Now THIS is a "redemption" I can get behind. He was NEVER a villain, he merely played along. But saying "I want to protect things" after "I will unleash 800 years of unrelenting, SWELTERING HEAT!", that is just STUPID. However, if he knowingly PLAYED a villain, especially with nonlethal traps and dummy followers, well, not much is lost when he is revealed to be something else.