"Cadence, I saw you in the garden two days ago and you hid behind an oak tree." She blushed. "It couldn't have been me." Cadence, do you remember what you used to do when Twilight lied?"
You need to expand on that. Also make a few descriptions of their emotions. Is Cadance angry? Embarrassed? Scared?
Sorry if I'm nagging about it but I really love the idea. Just try to make it longer and make it more role-play like. That Cadance is reacting to it like it's seriously. The hints that it's playful can be very subtle which actually would be much better.
6912422 Are you familiar with therapeutic spanking? What Cadence and Shining are doing in this chapter is like a really rough therapy session that Shining intuitively knows that Cadence needs as he's known her so long. If you don't know what that is, I could understand that this chapter would be confusing. It's not even entirely sexual. It's not role play either. I added a paragraph explaining what they're doing and I hope it's not too "on-the-nose" so to speak. I also cleaned up the formatting.
Nice chapter. The only thing that I am cross with is that Cadence used to spank Twilight. This just contradicts her whole character.
Great story but it's just far too rushed.
You need to expand on that. Also make a few descriptions of their emotions. Is Cadance angry? Embarrassed? Scared?
Sorry if I'm nagging about it but I really love the idea. Just try to make it longer and make it more role-play like. That Cadance is reacting to it like it's seriously. The hints that it's playful can be very subtle which actually would be much better.
6912422 Are you familiar with therapeutic spanking? What Cadence and Shining are doing in this chapter is like a really rough therapy session that Shining intuitively knows that Cadence needs as he's known her so long. If you don't know what that is, I could understand that this chapter would be confusing. It's not even entirely sexual. It's not role play either.
I added a paragraph explaining what they're doing and I hope it's not too "on-the-nose" so to speak. I also cleaned up the formatting.