Today I Honestly Don't Know

by TodayIWriteFanfics

The Wi-Fi

Echo trotted down the moonlit hall, her hooves clicking against the tiled floor. She hummed a simple tune as she went. Her Night Guard armor barely whispered as she moved, a testimony to the hours she spent oiling it.

A sudden sound hit her sensitive ears, causing Echo to stiffen. As she resumed walking, the sounds untangled into a mare's voice streaming curses. Echo rolled her eyes. The Night Guard never used words like that; They didn't have the stoicness of the Day Guard, but there were limits to their... means of expression.

The cursing grew steadily louder until a luminescent pink unicorn rounded a corner. Echo stopped, but the unicorn was staring at a metal rectangle floating in a crimson aura. The unicorn was giving the strange object a glare like it had given her socks for Hearth's Warming.

The unicorn, occupied by her device, didn't notice Echo until they collided with a harsh clanging. Echo's hind legs gave out, as did the other unicorn's. Echo decided to call her Blinding.

Blinding had stopped cursing and was staring at the metal rectangle with a mixture of excitement and awe. Echo stared at her for a moment, before coughing.

"Excuse me?" she said.

Blinding didn't look up. She seemed utterly entranced.

Echo blinked, then snorted. "Well, that's rude," she said. When Blinding didn't respond, she shrugged and pushed herself back onto her hooves.

The unicorn suddenly snarled. She cursed, raised her head, and hissed like some bizarre, neon-pink animal. Echo jumped, eyes wide, and snapped her draconic wings open. She flapped to gain altitude, swooping over the feral pink pony.

As Echo swooped past branching corridors, more ponies shambled out. They came in all races and colors, but each mare and stallion sported the same bloodshot eyes and silvery rectangles. Echo gaped for a second before she twisted, narrowly avoiding a pillar.

As her wings creaked and strained, several pegasi leapt after her. Their wings beat erratically as they came closer until one blue pony brought her down.

Echo flinched as she collapsed into a sitting position. She expected the zombified ponies to attack her, but when she felt nothing, she dared to open her eyes. She was surprised by what she saw.

The ponies were sitting or lying down on the floor, their rectangles casting a sickly light onto their faces. Some snorted or snickered, while others grinned stupidly. Echo blinked at them and stood up.

The ponies started snarling at her.

She sat back down, and they stopped.

She stood up, and they started again. when she sat back down, they went back to staring at their strange objects.

Echo prepared herself for a really long night.

---

Echo was staring idly at Blinding when she heard the hoofsteps. She immediately perked up. Perhaps sompony had finally noticed her absence! Maybe she wouldn't be bored anymore!

As the footsteps drew closer, though, she knew something was off. She could hear the rapid tap-tap-tap of a galloping pony and a sound like a minotaur running, but not the same. Her private mystery was answered as two beings rounded the corner.

The first was a bizarre bipedal creature, with pale, hairless skin and a shock of brown mane.

The second was Princess Celestia, and she looked furious. Her fury only grew as she saw the ponies scattered across the hall.

"DAMMIT, I TOLD YOU TO NOT SHOW THEM THE IPHONES!" she said in a resounding voice.

Author's Note:

Because I thought Echo's cutie mark looks like a sideways Wi-Fi symbol. Therefore, if she turns her butt sideways, she emits wi-fi! Perfect logic!