Four Ponies & A Time Machine

by SkelePone

Chapter XXV: One Small Step For Ponies...

“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”
― Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The TROTIS had been locked up, covered in chains and various other restraints.

Not that that would matter, of course. The TROTIS could time travel even if it was encased in solid concrete. After unchaining the door, the four friends slung themselves into the carriage's egg-shaped chamber. Time Turner quickly turned on the engine and checked the year leap scale. They's be able to make it to 1200 A.B., a few years after Nightmare Moon's banishment. Carnegie, Rose, and Derpy buckled into the seats behind him.

Time Turner slammed his hoof down on the start button without hesitation.

The TROTIS lurched violently and they vanished from the Illumarenati's cavern base.

---

The year was 1200 A.B.

They had over 800 years to go before they were back to the present.

They were in Manehattan once again, trotting the streets casually; as they had to wait the necessary twenty-four hours for the magical battery in the TROTIS to recharge. It felt nice to finally be able to relax once again. Having so many close calls wore out a pony.

Eight more day cycles. Then they were home. No more fighting, they had promised each other, if there are bad guys, we run away.

Carnegie rather liked kicking the snot out of some overzealous boogies. Angry bar patrons, umbrums, or secret societies. Nothing was safe from Carnegie Porter. But Roseluck, Derpy, and the Doctor each made sure to keep the drunk in check. They couldn't have him disrupting the peace and attracting the attention of some new evil creatures.

Carnegie was getting, however. So they decided to stop at a random bar and wait there; so Carnegie could at least drink a few gallons of beer to keep him occupied while they talked business.

"So what will we do? We have eight days before we get home. What will we do between then and now?" Rose asked, sipping her drink. Carnegie had slipped away and was leading many of the patrons of the bar in a lively pub song.
"I'm not sure." Time Turner mumbled in reply, careful not to get swept up into Carnegie Porter's song.
"Well," Derpy said, "we'll need to stay out of trouble, that's for sure."
Just then, Time Turner noticed a peculiar marking on the table. He rubbed at it absentmindedly, half-listening to the mares' conversation.

"So what're you doing when we get back, Derpy?"
"Well, I know I'm definitely giving my little Dinky the squeeziest hug ever."
"Aww how sweet. I'm gonna convince Carns to take me on a proper date."
"Oh how fun! Maybe we could make it a double date, and I could bring the Doctor. Wouldn't that be fun, Timey?"
"Hmm? Oh okay, yeah." He had rubbed away most of the residue off the carving with his hoof. Curiosity told him to continue. Nopony knew what anticlimactic secrets the graffiti must hold.

"Well Derpy, it settled, first thing we do when we get home is a double date with the stallions!"
"And what after?" The girls began giggling, and Time Turner finally rubbed off the last of the gook. There, staring back at him, was an eye. An upturned within a triangle.

At that exact moment, everypony in the bar turned to stare at the four time travelers.

Time Turner opened his mouth and spoke slowly;

"Oh f - "
Everypony in the bar lunged at them.

---

"I thought that Star Cloud guy killed High Priestess!"
"Star Chaser. And he did. But that was"
"Then why is the Illumarenati still active or whatever you call it?!" Roseluck was delirious. Derpy and Carnegie were unconscious. And Time Turner was getting a really bad headache.

"I don't know, Rose. But you need to calm down. You're swinging an awful lot and it's not doing a thing to help my migraine."
They had been tied up to a rod by their hind-hooves. The rod had been attached to some hooks on the ceiling by the Illumarenati members; new members a century later, now without hoods. The congregation had told the troop of four that they would be retrieving the TROTIS, and that the four of them would remain in their positions if they wanted to survive the nearing night. Carnegie groaned as he came to.

"Oh hallo, Doc. Hallo, Rosey my love. We're hangin' upside-down!"
"Thanks for telling us, Porter." The Doctor grumbled. He hoped the other stallion would conk out again for another hour or so. Not anything against his friend, but the drunk bastard made it hard to think when he rambled..

"Carns, love, can you figure out a way to get us down?"
"O' course." With that, Carnegie began to swing to and fro. Time Turner groaned as his head began to pound, but he knew what Carnegie was trying to do. Time Turner quickly commenced swinging in rhythm with Carnegie. Rose caught on, and soon the three were swinging side by side. The rod leapt in it's hook, but it did not have the momentum to unhinge. Carnegie noticed this, and began to rock Derpy's slumbering form with the other three. With the added weight, the rod popped off and the four crashed painfully onto the tiled floor.

Time Turner got to work untying the knots binding them, but Carnegie simply smashed a nearby empty beer bottle on the ground, and used the glass shards to cut through he and Rose's ropes. Carnegie was working on Derpy's ropes when he raised a bushy eyebrow in Time Turner's direction.

"Need some help there, Doc?" Carnegie offered up the glass shard. Grumbling, the Doctor snatched up the glass in his hoof and sliced away the ropes. They were free. Now to find the TROTIS. Unfortunately, they had only been incapacitated for... Time Turner made the calculations and judged the night sky visible from the window. They had only been tied up for two hours. The TROTIS would still need about twenty hours to make a full recharge.

No wait. Make that nineteen and a half.

But that was still an awful long time to spend avoiding the Illumarenati, even if they managed to somehow get back their time machine. Time Turner also allowed himself a moment to wonder how, after over a century, the secret organization remained. It seemed impossible, especially since they had witnessed High Priestess being brutally murdered by the stallion Star Chaser. The Illumarenati should have along with its leader... unless...

"We have a problem."
Carnegie looked up. Being the strongest, he was carrying the unconscious Derpy on his back. Rose looked to the Doctor as well.
"An' wha' problem is tha'?"
"Star Chaser became the head priest when he killed High Priestess. This is the same Illumarenati from 1100."
"What?! I thought he was on our side! Why are they attacking us again?"
"Anypony who sees the time machine instantly sees world domination. We have to get out of here."

As Time Turner said that, an Illumarenati guard trotted into the room. Carnegie quickly and swiftly decked the stallion in the face with a powerful hoof. The guard crumpled and hit the floor with a soft thud.

"Sweet Celestia! Carns did you just KILL HIM?!"
The guard on the floor let out a snore.
"Nah, Rosey, love. He'll be fine."

---

They were sneaking around the paved roads of Manehattan. The night air nipped at their heels, and Carnegie had been incredibly upset that his satchel had turned up missing. His alcohol and towel were gone. It wasn't that tragic a loss to the troop, but to Porter it spelled doom. Without alcohol, how was he expected to fend of an army of evil Illumarenati warriors!? Carnegie began to panic as Time Turner started digging through the rubbish and trash bins in the alleys. The Doctor was collecting metal scraps and various chemicals. Derpy was helping the Doctor, swooping about to gather yet more supplies.

Roseluck had comforted him when he had learned the fate of his satchel and beloved mead. But now she was dragging him about, grabbing tattered clothes from the bins to wear as disguises. Unfortunately, Porter had to model many of these ridiculous outfits.

"Carns, dear, do you think the blouse matches the hat?"
"Blimey, Rose. 'Ow tha' bloody 'ell am I supposed ta know? I'm not one for fashion. I'm a brewer."
"And I'm a florist. Suck it up. Literally, suck up your gut, I think you're ripping that dress..."
Carnegie gasped and looked to her with scandal.
"Are ya callin' me fat?"
"What? No! You just... have a bit of a tummy..."
"So yer callin' me fat."
"Ah... um... uh... yes."

Carnegie grumbled and sucked in his gut. Rose gave him an apology smooch and a kiss on the cheek in thanks before returning to her organization.

"Do you think this hat has too many feathers? Ah well, here, try it on with this ball gown."
Carnegie groaned. Anypony else, and he'd go stark raving mad. But this was Rose, and he loved Rose. So he would put up with it for now.

"Then again, try on this pantyhose, too."
Anypony else...