Four Ponies & A Time Machine

by SkelePone

Chapter XI: Skiddily Boop

“How did it get so late so soon?”
― Dr. Seuss

* * * * * * * * * * * *

After much moaning and waves of pleasure, Carnegie Porter and Roseluck fell to the bed, panting. It was late in the night. Porter grasped a bottle of whiskey from the nightstand. He took a hearty swig before offering it to his mate. She pondered for a moment, then accepted. She too took a long sip, the fiery substance moisturizing her dry mouth.

"Well..." she giggled, her female parts tingling between her legs, "that was fun."
Carnegie let out a quiet laugh, and then nuzzled her neck. They both lay there, in darkness, holding each other.
"Never thought I'd hit secon' base wit' ya." Carnegie whispered into her ear.
"Well, 'ya' thought wrong," she teased, mocking his accent. They laid there, together.

"Carnegie, how long have we known each other?"
"Ehhh... 'bout two thousand seven hundred, give o' take fifty, years."
"No, really. How long?"
"I dunno. It's kinda like what the Doc says. Time's irrelevant. From wha' I take o' it, tha' means that we've known each other for literally zero seconds."
"But how can that make sense? It feels like we've been travelling for weeks. And... we've started... whatever this is..."
"A relationship, ya mean, love?"
"Yeah," Roseluck breathed, glad that it was he who admitted they were now an item, "a relationship."
"Is tha' bad? Should we stop...?"
"What?! No! I was just wondering how long we've know each other before we started getting so... intimate."
"'Course it has. From what Doc says, we have literally just met. But here, in the fold o' time o' whatever, we've just started... well, we started having' sex, that's one thing."
"Ummm... let's not call it sex. I'm new to what we just did..."
"What do ya want me ta call it then? Buckin'? Bangin'? Skiddily boop?"
"Skiddily boop is fine, Carn."
"Fine. We jus' started havin' the skiddily boop."

Roseluck giggled girlishly and snuggled up to Porter. The warmth of the whiskey was dying out, and she reached out a hoof to grab his flask. She took another sip while Carnegie marveled in the darkness.

"Damn. Even Berry Punch didn' drink tha' much."
"Talk to me about Berry."
"Wha'? Why tha bloody hell do ya want me to talk 'bout 'er for?"
"Just tell me about what happened between you two. Why you broke up."
"Well, she was a ravin' bitch mos' o' tha time. I was worin' for 'er. Livin' in 'er basement. Then one day she tells me that I got meself five days ta find a roommate someplace else an' leave. 'Parently she'd been cheatin' on me wit' another bloke. Poor colt didn' even know I existed."
Rose gasped.

"Then what happened?"
"I found the Doctor. He let me move in. I pay half me rent. He pays his. We weren't really friends. But it was close 'nough."
"You don' have friends?"
"Rose, love, I'm an alcoholic. An' a brewer. Those two don' go together very well."
"Oh."
They lay again in dark silence. A whippoorwill let out a haunting cry.

"Alrigh'. Your turn, swee' cheeks."
"What?" Roseluck asked, genuinely puzzled.
"Tell me more 'bout yerself. I wanna get ta know a mare 'fore I star' bangin' her every chance I get."
"Well... not much to say... I'm a florist. I work together with Daisy and Lily Valley. We own a little flower stand. Gets good enough business. Besides them two and the Doc, I didn't really have any friends either before we took this... trip of sorts."
"Ya ever have any other coltfriends?"
"None that were interesting."
"Wanna talk 'bout 'em?"
"No."
"Fair 'nough."

They lay together, listening to the whir of cicadas and the chirping of crickets. Carnegie broke the silence.
"Rose, do ya really love me? Or is this jus' a thing ta get Time Turner ta notice ya?"

Rose turned towards him, shocked.
"Of COURSE I love you! I'm over Time Turner! Honest! Ever since I saw what you were capable of at the deer fortress, I began to love you. Swear it."
Carnegie was silent.

"Do you... love me, Carns?"
"Blimey, why woulda ask tha' after we done shagged fo' a good two 'ours? Of course I love ya!"
Rose snuggled up Carnegie, suddenly much more content and giddy than before. He pulled a blanket up over top of them.

And they went to sleep.

---

"You two have a good night?" Starswirl asked, looking mischievous. On his chin were the stubbly beginnings of a beard. Porter had caught him before shaving and suggested he grow out his beard. The wizard had pondered it before agreeing that he would look much better bearded.

"Well yea, had a bit o' cuddles, summin' ta do wit' a skiddily boop."

Starswirl snorted into his breakfast mead as Roseluck kicked at Carnegie Porter from under the table. Derpy blushed and the Doctor looked elsewhere, anywhere but at Carnegie and Rose. They were having breakfast with the Wizard, before embarking once more on their journey.

Starswirl had helped Time Turner place a magical energy turbine into the TROTIS. They would be able to make century long leaps forward, giving it about a day's charge between leaps. Since it was 750 A.B., it would take about thirteen irrelevant days to make it back home. They could not, however, overshoot. They would have to make the final leap as precise as possible, to avoid breaking reality, or else avoid getting a glimpse at what fate held for them. The TROTIS could go back in time, sure. But going forwards in time threatened to dis-balance fate and one's sanity.

Honestly, just hearing Time Turner and Starswirl talk about it made Carnegie's brain feel like it was being skiddily booped in the arse with a dragon's dong. So he kept quiet, drinking antiquated mead and eating fluffy pancakes.

Once they had finished their meal, Starswirl led them to the carriage. A few things, boxes and cables, had been attached to the time machine. They had already repacked and (Porter's heart leapt in his chest) restocked the collection of alcohol.

"Isn't the Princess going to say goodbye to us?" Derpy asked innocently.

"She was going to, but I fear that-"
"I'm here!"

Celestia landed unsteadily next to Starswirl, and looked to Rose with an air of approval.

"Miss Roseluck. I apologize for the rude things I have said about your coltfriend. You are lucky to have a stallion like that."

The brewer simply darted his eyes between the Princess and the florist. He wondered what in Equestria was going on.