Imagine the most destructive, unstoppable animal ever. Now imagine it being inside a little alicorn colt. Now imagine him being near death, without his left forehoof. Now imagine Fluttershy there.
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 4th Aug, 2015
- offline last seen Nov 13th, 2017
AnonymousAlicorn
Nope. Just an alicorn for a walk. Nothin to see here. I spend most of my time writing and listening to music, and try to get around school.
AnonymousAlicorn
Joined 4th Aug, 2015 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Boopy Doopy · 55k words · 450 13 · 6.3k views
- Shin Guyviroth · 52k words · 2,020 67 · 37k views
- Equimorto · 6k words · 328 7 · 4.2k views
- Arreis Of Avalon · 2.1k words · 104 1 · 2.6k views
- Harmony Spirit · 104k words · 44 6 · 5.2k views
- Tailslover13 · 289k words · 513 37 · 19k views
- Jaycren · 15k words · 47 4 · 1.7k views
- insert uncreative name · 47k words · 55 8 · 3.2k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.065 seconds
Total duration
921 users online
319,133 hits today, 1,960,719 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
It felt rushed, for lack of a better term. I personally feel that it could be fleshed out more, too. Question, though- why is the Alicorn a colt...if Luna and Celestia are thousands of years old? If the three of them came into being around the same time, shouldn't he be the same height and age?
This was good, but I feel it could be made better. There are some grammar and spelling mistakes, which can really turn readers off to a story. Why are did the Changelings just up and suddenly invade? Wouldn't it be more beneficial to the story to show the Changelings planning out the attack, or something of that nature?
Also, I think you missed an opportunity with the Blazewolf fighting the changelings. We get no description of it, other than 'he charged in and squished 'em flat'.
Two other small problems I have with this is the fact that...everyone who came into contact with Aiden noticed his forehoof was missing...and no-one thought to take him to a hospital? None of the characters reacted negatively to seeing Aiden without a forehoof.
The whole 'sleeping will regenerate my soul' shtick was interesting, but I felt it could've been explained a bit better, too. Does Aiden just need to lie down and take a nap? This left me a bit confused. As a side note, why is his name 'Aiden'? It seems out of place, considering some of the names ponies have.
Anyway, I hope this was helpful!