(Picture source, image is not mine: here Prototype by MDreed)
Chapter 6 contains time travel, and foaling(mare pregnancy and birth)
Project Pariah, stuck in a cell, made by a virus, that pretty much sums up life for him, he has led a lonely existence, imprisoned and scorned for something that he didn't cause, because they are scared, what happens when you corner a fox? bad things.
They learned this with Alex Mercer and James Heller, both interests to Pariah, who can patiently wait, but when the End War breaks out and shit goes wrong, Pariah is thrust into a world he doesn't understand, but Parah is an adapter and can make himself fit in, but when he ha to reveal what he is, he is worried and hopes these inhabitants will not mess with things they don't understand... but in a world filled with peace, does it have a place for people and ponies like Pariah? Pariah who is lonely? maybe he can find company in a purple pony and her 5 friends, and 2, perhaps 3 Princesses and learn what it means to be human/pony...
Get rekt NM
Omg I love this so much!!!!!
Also are you planning on actually showing his true form and not the human form?
I'm thinking he will look like Ruvik from Evil WIthin.
6280253
1) A black and red alicorn? Really?
2) That was a big integration into society done effortlessly. I don't care if he was virus with godly powers of adaptation, he should of consumed atleast two ponies to be that good.
3) instant love interest makes no sense
4) only the first pony was shocked to see Royalty walking amongst them
5) "Hello, dirt pile? pile of dirt? dirt? I'm looking for some dirt, have you seen some dirt? it's about yea high, kinda looks like dirt, hello? dirt? hey someone took away this dirt! where'd all the dirt go? well, I better check with this dirt over here, hey! have you seen some dirt!? it looked pretty brown and was earthy, kinda like dirt, goes by the name of earth if you've ever heard of it before, also known as dirt... it's in the ground, it actually IS the ground have you seen it? ground, dirt? really fine powdery dirt? have you seen it? a dirt pile? it's in a pile, well not really, it's kinda flat, but it's dirt, have you seen it? no? well fuck you then!" I said.
What? Just what?
6) no fuss over form changing between him and twilight
7) twilight invites a male alien to sleep with her in bed
8) Pariah needs sleep? He is a virus isn't he
6282410
1. Black and red, don't be colourist, what colour do you recommend? I'm all ears, well... the two I've got.
2. Not instant love interest, as you'll see in next chapter, he will dismiss it as a 'thing' besides, Twilight, isn't the LI...
3. I'll admit, he did adapt quickly, but think about it, if you've played Prototype, he doesn't technically exist, he's not even human really, so he isn't surprised when he comes across ponies, besides, he is freaked at first but is a natural adapter, it is what makes him... him, besides I'd like to think Pariah can change forms without consuming, but consuming makes it easier.
4. Hmm, he just wants to fit in(so he says...) he isn't really royalty, only the first pony sees both the wings and horn(As well as Twilight but he explains to her, she knows there is only one ruler currently) as nopony else looks him over properly.
5. Markiplier, here is link to animated version of video.
6. Twilight will react more strongly next chapter, she will think she was imagining the first time(imagine being sleepy and somepony doing that! you'd just go to sleep without questioning it.)
7. Twilight didn't want to be rude or mean, besides, he had clothing on and they slept on opposite ends(I may include that part to make it clear...)
8. He didn't sleep, as I said in the story, he just finds amusing memories while laying down and loses himself in them.
Hope that cleared it up.
6282658 cleared, except 4. Nobody does magic instinctly without an instinct in the first place. An instinct he didn't steal.
6282923 Good point, but if he consumed a pony, that would damn him completely... maybe I can think of something... thanks for your criticism.
Okay... what the hell happened here?
6285560 Where pray tell?
6285953
1: Who did the manticore kill??
2: What's with Warfstache????
3: He ate nightmare moon??? You do know that would (following a realistic path of events) have killed Luna (Because of the fact that they occupied the same body!), right?????
6285999 In the first chapter Pariah consumes a half dead unnamed pony who was mauled by a manticore.
Warfstache is like Ron Weasley, there for comic relief, if you don't know who Warfstache is here, here and here.
He sensed another lifeform in there, Luna was small compared to Nightmare Moon, he consumed the Nightmare rather than Luna herself, and when he felt the second signature he stopped.
6285999 Well IMO Luna herself(her form, personality and soul) shrunk over the years, slowly by Nightmare Moon, just to clear it up.
Pariah meets Blueblood... I get the feeling I'm gonna need popcorn
6286726 Hadn't thought of it quite yet... I probably would have but thanks for reminding me... are there any episodes that Blueblood is present in in S1 plus where is a major char? if not... you may need a bucket with that popcorn depending on your opinion of 'gore'...
To much crack in this fic ....
Sorry dude not my thing.
Okay i thought i could read a quick chapter right now befor work, and sady it was focuse on his military past, nothing bad, the first half was actually interessting, but i could not read the second half as concentrated as befor.
To be honest i don´t watch many war movies, or stuff like that, so it is probably no suprise, however i hope the mlp part starts next chapter.
i thouhgt she isn´t interessted in doing stuff like that, i mean teasing him, while she isn´t interessted enough in other ponys yet.
what do you mean?
aaawwww man to soon.
6282410
I don´t care much about which color he had, since he was black befor, but not sure if Alicorn was a good choise, or needed for him.
Yes maybe he had an to easy time to integrate, but for a moment i thought he wanted to be good, and then he just ate a pony, just saying, it is not like i would really think bad about it. However in the end he revealed his true self to fast, so i don´t see a point why he had to end a life for only a day.
the kiss or Twilights slight change in personality, towards him, the bed and the kiss was a bit strange. I notice he hadn´t kissed her yet, but it looked a bit like instant love yes.
6282658 4. Maybe, but you made the first ponys notice his royal status, so i would suppose more would know it as well, i don´t think that she ran around, and told the others that there is an Alicorn that don´t want to be royal.
I think i said it already, but that she wanted him in her bad, and had no problem with it, like she wasn´t antisocial, like she is supposed to be at this point i guess, and that was a bit strange, i mean this isn´t alternate Universe right?
Like i said, for one day he killed a Pony, and i just assumed that he wanted to be good, at least that was what i understood, what he tried to do in the Human world.
I know he is some damn strong weapon Virus thing, but the last scene wasn´t needed in my opinion, till now i am not sure which type of personality he has, or if he just change to badass if he needs it.
I like it, but there are small things that well disturb me for a little moment.
can he know it?, or does he have to take a wild guess there?
not sure how to say it, but he just went with everything, i mean why not have a different reaction as Pinkie Pie, but still not freak out?
I start to think if he suddenly has a different type of personality, than he had back on earth, where he tried not to get to attached with his friends.
Even with all those memories, he doesn´t seems to be what he is supposed to be for me, at least not an Virus.
I don´t really like it, that he is taking nothing seriously, i can´t explain what i mean but i try.
-As he tried to explore Ponyville he started a bit carefull, and observant.
-He was badass, suddenly angry, and cocky in front of NIghtmare Moon.
-He had a solution for everything what happend so far, i mean he knew how to act every time, only Pinkie pissed him off i guess.
-Suddenly he was someone that had to laugh at things like the trees, i was just suprised, that he went from angry personality, to something funny like Pinkie.
I haven´t read the rest, but i think i noticed him knowing that seamonster, and well that is weird too, i thought he accidently went into a new world, i can´t really image that just no one found Equestria if it should be on earth.
6288729 He instantly changed because, I'm planning a story thingamajig where when he consumed the pony it passed some traits of the world into him, OTHER than magic, he's going to study some changes in his system in his own time, also he changes his personality because, all in all he was still born as he was and is still partially human, his cocky part is just the fact he WANTED some action, he WANTED to piss NM off, it didn't work as he'd planned, he has a plan of action for everything, simply because he has had to learn to act as soon as a situation arises, such as at the start when he consumed the Major and took on his military role, it was a spur of the moment thing, he could have just needlessly slaughtered his captors, instead he opted to join them and learn about the outside world.
Alsoo he didn't kill the pony, he was dying from the Manticore maul so Pariah consumed him to end his suffering, that is why Pariah didn't corner a pony and consume them just cause'.
He knew it because he studied the Manticore's behaviour, the laughing part with Pinkie is again, his human side coming out.
Would YOU take everything seriously if you were invincible, ran into a world of ponies and a large blue pony(which you think is a horse) tried to yell at you? and suddenly things start to get weird?
Equestria IS NOT on earth, he will explore why he was transported there soon, and ask the Princess sometime.
Hit the deck, D.E.C.K, it's something drive-by shooters sometimes rappers say, the people doing the drive-by sometimes shout 'Hit the D.E.C.K' like each letter individually.
He turned during NM accidentally, if you've played Prototype I know you've at least once accidentally switched form at the wrong time.
6287337 Sure dude to each their own!
i hope he isn´t supposed to have always the solution, i hope he isn´t the main six, just in one person, and even more badass.
i am honestly confused, how he can be annoyed, and at the same time suddenly laugh, and mean it like that. What did he mean with feeling mortal? Did Pinkie something, that everyone "has" to laught at?, and every mortal can´t do otherwise, even if he doesn´t think it is funny?
6288981
honestly even after i read it in the third chapter, i made no conection to the first chapter, where he consumed the Pony.
well some OP Characters tend to get those reactions, i think if someone can do everything it starts to get boring pretty fast.
Not everyone reacts the same way, even if they are invincible, some would probably go insane, or sad after a while, for different reasons
Well i said that, because he somehow meet that one guy, that he knew, and at first i thought he meant the sea serpent, that would have meant it was one earth, but now i am only curious about that one guy.
Not sure how the gameplay works, so i can´t answer that.
I am not the best person to explain that i suppose, but his personality doesn´t seems as good as it could be, it is like one bad character i remember, that only was meant to be the best in every situation, and even his emotions were somehow perfect for every situation.
I think what i try to say is, Pariah need some flaws, even if it is only to make him more interessting.
6289704 If you've ever been in the military, you'd be surprised at how fast the Commander's act according to the situation, no he won't always have the solution.
Basically, left D-Pad switches form from Disguise to Normal, on console so if you've got your finger on it ready for something, and slip, whoops! military on your ass.
Pariah tried to make himself emotionless, he didn't WANT to be human I mean, imagine your whole life, stuck in a cell, poked and prodded at, would YOU want to be associated with that? no, and he didn't know some humans aren't like that, all he knew was the cell, even after he found not everyone was like that it became habit for him.
Pinkie made him laugh, he loved the sensation of the emotion, imagine you'd never laughed, never felt the need to and all of a sudden, you do, Pinkie is the Element of Laughter, it affects the ponies around her I'd guess, and Pariah was no different, he is not evil, he's just cold at times and YES there is a difference, but the line is thin, blurry at best.
Warfstache is just an homage to Markiplier one of my favorite YouTubers it's just a little fun, and randomness.
6289741
That still just means how fast they react, i mean you probably doesn´t wanted to compare their personalitys with Pariah´s right? He did more, than just reacting fast, and it feels like he couldn´t decide which personality he should choose.
I say right now, that i write this late means that i maybe doesn´t understand everything the way you try to explain it to me, however like i say later again, it is just difficult to write a character that seems to be OP.
Could you try to mark the part of my comment you answered to with this?, i try to figure out which part you tried to explain with that.
was it this?
I never said what he wanted to be, but you told me this :
and i gave you a straight answer to this,....i wanted to say it doesn´t means much that he didn´t knew it, but didn´´t he absorbed enough Humans, and knowledge about how at least they react? Wouldn´t he be able to notice that he had just one way to react?
Honestly right now i am not sure what you are trying to tell me with that, i guess it is nothing someone can have a ultimate answer about.
However, an Character that seems to be OP, or knows exactly what to do in every situation, or has the perfect personality, or says exactly the same as another character at least three, or four times, is a bit weird, or just difficult to write.
I think it is really difficult not to do something wrong with a Character that doesn´t have one or two problems, maybe he could still have some answering he is searching for. Hopefully this doesn´t makes it more confusing.
i won´t say something about this, because this is something that change with every fanfiction, but like with Applejack, i don´t believe that they have some sort of magic, that would manipulate someone to make them love, or some sort of magic, that would make Applejack see every lie.
For Applejack her sense´s are probably just really sensitive, and she can guess if there is a lie, for Pinkie...well she knows a lot of jokes i guess, but the moment in the forest just seems random for Pariah in my eyes.
I imaged him with a straight face, and suddenly a loud "HA HA HA", like if i would do it outside, and everyone would just look at me, or ask me if i was okay. You probably didn´t meant it like that, but i saw something like this, as i readed that part, because i believe you haven´t written, that he was amused by her behavior.
aaahhh okay, can you answer me this?
Is he just screaming to get attention, and because it should look funny, or is he actually scared?
The first time i watched him,...well i think my ears ached, he was jus to loud, and i believe i understood no word.
I really want to know if he is always like that or not, maybe i just didnt understood him as he was screaming because i speak Germany.
6290123
Yes it was the answer to that.
He won't have the answer to everything.
He IS looking for answers, but he doesn't make it clear to the ponies.
You said he doesn't take everything seriously, I answered.
He is OP, but he hasn't come across a proper enemy yet for one, he hasn't got the 'perfect personality' like I explained in the last chapter, he is prone to mood swings.
Where he laughed with Pinkie was the side of the pony he consumed coming out and Pinkie affected him, not with magic, she's just Pinkie, don't question it...
Markiplier doesn't always yell, but when he is scared he does, look at his sketch comedy, some are quite funny.
Hope that answers everything, you type good English for a native German.
6290180
okay not sure where it stopped to make no sense, but our conversation about his personality doesn´t make sense, not your comments, and not mine. No one of us can really have a perfect answer for this.
i still give him a chance, but somehow it isn´t that clear for me as it probably should be, but maybe i have to learn your way to write befor i understand it the first moment i see it.
well i said i don´t always have the right words, but that it was a side from that one pony he consumed, is actually a pretty good explanation for me. I just tried to explain some problems with Pinkie, or that lie detector Applejack, i had to read about in my early times on fimfiction.
aahhh okay, it was difficult to tell if his reaction were real or not, i actually know that one german let´s player, that is scared about everything, even random accounters, like those in Pokemon, and i didn´t believed that either at first.
well i guess that means i give him a new chance.
About my english, i am glad that i got better, i actually really like english, but i am not sure if i am good enough to try my own story, maybe if i have a concept, i can search for a proofreader/editor, and they make it ready for the update.
6290216 I'd be happy t proofread for you, well, Marl will, my co-writer... hold on, MARL!
What?
Front and center!
Fuck you! but ok.
So, proofread?
Proofread homie, up to you homie.
Some advice? I as in me is always capital letter, no space between ' these and the word, EG. don't.
6290255
? i think i understand the rest, just not that.
I understand much english, but if i should not understand something right away, i just ask for a different explanation.
I actually have one or two questions :
1. Did you read the writers guide as you started? I somehow believe it would be pretty hard to remember everything after reading it once, and while i am not interessted to memorize it to the last word, i am not sure if i have to take it that seriously.
2. Well i think if i really feel like it, i try to write something down, i learn the best if i just try.
No promise, but if i write something i ask you again, i would like some constructive criticism, and i guess my grammar is a problem too sometimes. Exactly because i am always not sure of my own work, i always think it could be better.
However i have to finish that one anime, because i think i start with a Displaced story, even if it is probably something that could go pretty wrong, however i believe there are already some bad displaced storys, just as bad as anything i could probably right, or as anything good out there.
edit: thank you
6290336 EG/E.G/Eg= example.
1. No, I didn't read the writer's guide, as I have written FanFiction before, on that exact website, link on the name, just look for our name if you're interested same as my username here.
2. That isn't a question...
Displaced stories are frowned upon by moderators, and could land you on their lists, not officially, but they may be more critical when it comes to moderating your story for release, they prefer original ideas, you can write one if you want as I have no objection, but the mods do, just not officially.
edit(some grammar correction for you): No problem, no space between : and the word it goes after EG, I have a question: how old are you?
Stories, not storys.
Interested,
If you do not understand something right away, not if you should.
Anything you could probably write, not right.
what?... WHAT?!...
YOU MOTHEFUCKING CLIFFHANGING AUTHOR. I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!!!
no offense
6297725 Cliffhanging authors, I co-write with my long time friend Marl.
Hell yeah homie! cliffhangers! whooo!
6297790 Pretty great story so far
6297796 Deleted one of your two comments because they were the same, unless you meant our story was great great! I was fearing writers block on this one, but saved by Marl.
You know you'd be lost without me homie.
Marl, I've got 2 weeks holiday with you, I'll manage.
Sorry, we tend to have conversations... anyway, your support is appreciated!
okay so he time traveled somehow. Will he remain in the time stream until it catches up with present timeline he was in previously, or somehow get back to his timeline with some history changes.
6301519 A spell gone wrong, unlucky chucky, right?
Hw will stay for a while until he finds a way to get the orb Celestia gave him to get back, he will be stuck for a while, I have some plans.
6280253 What does NM stand for?
6282019 What is Evil Within?
6301642 NM= Nightmare Moon.
The Evil Within is a survival horror game, look up ruvik in google images for the character I was talking about.
i'm guessing that he will now pop up in the future again but only he will remember the past timeline and it will be a modified one where he was growing up with celestia and luna
6304812 Close but no cigar. muhahaha!
6304855 hmm, he get sent back to his world but discord comes with him?
6304928 He shoots! he hits the post... the first comment was right to an extent... actually looking at it, it is mostly right.
6304937 well this is going to be fun then
You spent to much time on the whole military
That's my opinion
You could of ended it sooner
But I still did like it good job
Had someproblems
But I found it funny
This has so many plot holes but it was funny so I don't care
6332942 What plot holes? mmm, plot... ahem, seriously though?
Dame
It's just getting better
And now I wait