Wolf in Pony Clothing.

by ProbableSarcasm

The Big Bad Wolf

My name is Bigby Wolf, and I would rather be dead in a ditch than be where I am today. I would rather be back in the bottom of the river like trash with my belly full of god damn stones, than having to wake up face down on the ground. The ground felt scorched, hot, like I was in the desert, but the air around me had the smell of rain being brewed up. I couldn't feel my fingers, nor my toes; I could, however, move a tail.

My Glamour must of worn out, and I swear I made sure the quality of the glamour wasn't the cheap stuff you'd find around the corner of a bar. Of course, this was sarcasm if you couldn't tell. (Who am I even talking to?) I have a enchanted knife, that I can't figure out the name of it right now, never bothered to learn it, that can allow me to switch forms at will. I don't feel it around me, otherwise I would have smelled steel instead of the copper I do now.

Glamour is a magical spell that disguises Fables, such as me, to appear human, which we call Mundies. Some of us, like Beast for example, don't need it since they look human enough. I guess it's fair and unfair in a way, the rates on Glamour keeps rising yet the quality doesn't change like Toad said, but I don't make the rules.

Where these Fables lived was in was a town called, stupidly enough, Fabletown. To the average Mundy-eye, it looks like Bullfinch Street. There, I'm the sheriff; my job is to bring in Fables who can't afford to get Glamour to The Farm. Trust me, no one wants to go to The Farm.

Not even myself.

I sniffed the air, noticing something off with the scent of the scent of grass. I rolled over onto my back and propped myself up, as painful as it was. I took one arm to rub my eyes, not trusting the ground enough to be wiping my eyes with my hands. I blinked a couple of times, my vision blurry momentarily. I felt my regenerative vitality working overtime to fix whatever is wrong with me, but honestly; I could go for a double shot glass of whisky and a cigarette.

Finally, my vision came into focus. I looked at my surroundings in curiosity, this wasn't Fabletown... it seems more... how do I put this... purple. Maybe it was a village without a high source of income? Who knows, I live in a busted down apartment that won't even bother to give me a permanent tag. I shook my head sharply and looked at my hands, which were now hooves.

Eh, I've seen weirder. I'm a wolf, I kind of deal with waking up to be an animal sometimes. Maybe some glamour will fix this, but that's for a temporary fix; I need that knife right about now, but for right now: I need to figure out where the hell am I...

I sniffed the air again, I knew there was something off in the smell of burnt grass and magical residue. Well, magical residue aside, it was the smell of fear. It was radiating from behind me, If I turn around and if I get knocked unconscious for no reason: I'm going to sue someone. I sat up, my heart beating fast from the sudden surge of movement. I turned around, mentally preparing for a hard hoof to to the side of my jaw. Any second.....-

Oh, there were six horses. Two of them unicorns, two of them pegasus, two of them regular plain horses. I recognized the unicorns for their most predominant feature stapled right on their forehead, I recognized the pegasus because of their eyes... no not really. They have wings, too hard to miss it. The purple unicorn was standing defensively in front of the other horses, her horn glowed bright purple-pink. Se seemed spooked. The other unicorn had her hooves on her muzzle, as if she was gasping at what I'm wearing instead of the fact I look like a wolf.

The pink horse looked way too happy to see me, I swear to god if this damned horse even gets near me: I'll probably do nothing and die of lung cancer from all the cigarettes that I'll be smoking. The orange horse looked curious, like a child looks at another stranger's dog. The yellow pegasus hid behind her friends, the majority of her face covered by her long and unusual pink mane but she still looked at me nervously with... the most beautiful blue eyes I've seen in a while.

Wow.

The blue pegasus with the rainbow hair(... or was it mane?) looked ready to punch me, gee, thanks for the welcome invite.

The other one was speaking, quietly. In this bubble, and the volume of her voice, I could hardly make out a word.

"Even with my sensitive ears," I quipped, my hoof running over my stubble.

I guess instead of being socked in the face, I'm trapped in a big purple-pink bubble. I rolled my eyes, grateful my jaw is still intact. No wonder I smelled magic residue, burnt grass, and fear. I looked at my forelegs, noticing they were furrier than the other horses: which might be a reason for fear. I'm already guessing I look like a wolf, with hooves... maybe. I need that rhyming Magic Mirror, to tell me who looks the most like a person who eats kids.

"Huh, I wonder what that would look like.."

I stood up, it wasn't different from being a wolf; this body. I took a small walk over to the edge of the magical barrier blocking me from the rest of the society that I would rather not meet, not looking like this at least. My fur wasn't even that fluffy, or long. It was just noticeable, and that's the opposite of what I want in a situation like this. I knocked on the barrier, making the purple unicorn flinch slightly. I rolled my eyes, crossing my forelegs.

"C'mon, Let me out," I groaned, "I'm a fairy tale! Don't you believe in fables?"

"Y'all ain't no fairy!"

"You know, I have better things to do than being held hostage by horses," I retorted, maybe if I was an asshole long enough to them: they'll either let me go free or attempt to kill me. Yeah, let them try that. "Some neat whisky, punch a asshole in the face, live in my sorrows of gambling debt."

"Applejack?" the blue pegasus inquired.

The horses looked at Applejack, she snorted.

"He's bein' sarcastic,"

"No, I'm being held hostage," I replied, truthfully speaking. "I have rights you know."

"No way!" The blue pegasus came up right to the bubble and glared at me, I simply looked back uninterested. "We let you out, you could eat the entire population!" Her voice cracked at "entire".

I'm convinced I could kick her ass.

"Twi', he might be a danger to tha' town..." Applejack nudged the purple unicorn.

"You're right, we should wait until the Princess arrives..." Twi replied, her horn brightening up.

"This is ridiculous." I growled, rubbing my face with a hoof. "You act like I'm going to go on a killing spree with a chicken mask on!"

The shield lowered, and I felt magical restraints cuff around my legs.

I looked up and groaned again. I was standing in front of a fairly suspicious looking blue pegasus.

"Do I get a cigarette first?"

Then I got a fast blue hoof to the nose.

Went out like a light.

Comments

[Dudofall]

I like it!

Can't wait for the hiatus to end.

[spartanrex10]

Just started today and I already like the idea! Don't know what it is but it looks cool, also is this Fabletown from another book series or something like that?

[ProbableSarcasm]

6245196
Right, thanks for pointing this out.

I shall make the corrections shortly

Bigby being clam with being a pony is intentional, He lives in a town with Fables. Hell, he's a Fable! .

Maybe I should change the pony's reaction to his swearing.

It's on hiatus, because I didn't want to dwell too fair into the story without seeing how it's enjoyed first.

I might even rewrite the entire first chapter tomorrow.

[ProbableSarcasm]

6245075
Thanks, it means alot!

[Sound Wave]

Hoh, SPIT! BIGBY!? :D

[Serefin]

Well, not awful. Not award-winning, either, mind you, but not awful.

[Indieman]

I like this, I just hope you don't turn bigby into some meme and reference spouting machine. Though if he were to do something like that he would probably reference some fairy tale thing. I don't mean to be rude by stating this, it's just that I noticed the fairies joke and the hotline miami reference, and while they appear funny, they're also out of character for a chain smoking werewolf detective from fabletown. I suppose if it's little things here and there, no problem, but I've seen plenty of stories with great ideas turn into meme spouting gang bangs that make the idea lose all of its novelty and charm. I'm probably just nitpicking, sorry. Continue with making more as you like please, as you are the writer in the end, and I would love to see this continued, as I'm sure many others would too.

[Creed Miles]

6245216
6245196

Possible spoilers for later comics in the fables series
bigby only thinks it's the knife that lets him transform for a long time.
It's actually because of his father being the nort wind that lets him shape shift.
As evidence he was at one point turned to glass and to prevent him from transforming himself he was shattered.
However this is extremly late in the fables canon so the knife would work better probably

Also bigby"claims" to only smokes to deaden his senses to living in a city

Can't wait to see rainbow blown away by a giant huff and puff

[ProbableSarcasm]

6247513
Thank you for the criticism.
I wanted to have Bigby aware of pop culture, but not to overdo it. I'm also going down an assholish sort of personality for the detective, as used in the Tale Tell game. While out of place, yes, I was hoping sarcasm would keep the readers from getting bored with the gritty pace I intentionally went for.

If I do make references, it's just so you don't get bored during times where Action isn't the primary thing. Of course, meme sprouting belongs in other stories and not like the one I have in mind, but keeping the attention on detail only will deter away from dialect and character development so a limited use of these sort of references might be pushing Bigby's character (but not enough to completely change him)

Thank you for the criticism and praise, it's much appreciated!

[ProbableSarcasm]

6246658
Award winning, no.

I'm glad you don't entirely hate the story, I expected it to get really poor results.

[Jack Kellar]

It'd be for the best if you included in the description just what your story is a crossover with.

[Chowder]

more,MORE,MOAR!

[Dinokid11]

Good chapters can you do more chapters

[S0MB3R]

I really want another chapter this one was awsome

[NotShadowLotus488]

Well..... Looks like I found another great story that is dead

[TheSadisticJudge]

7698367 Unfortunately so, it was so good.

[Goldenelemental]

Looks like I found another piece of shit.

[Goldenelemental]

8362693
Also im being sarcastic. Its not bad.

[Shadowshame]

I've played the wolf among us well not all the way through but I liked what happened in this story and from what I've seen in the game you have captured Bigby beautifully I hope you remove the hiatus tag and continue the story because so far great set up