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Unholyheaven

Joined April 2013
40 followers

Groups

Stories (4)

  • The Koprulu Sector
    It's not easy growing up in this sector of space. It's a place ran by fanatics, warlords and corporate empires of all sorts. The CMC are about to enter adulthood in one of the most violent eras of pony history.

    258,139 words · 1,456 views · 86 likes · 9 dislikes
  • Born of Sin
    Stedson always wanted to breed an army of perfect soldiers. But what happens when he starts seeing them as something more than just killing machines?
    9,890 words · 427 views · 26 likes · 2 dislikes
  • KS Factions
    There are five factions in the sector, each with its own story to tell.
    46,077 words · 368 views · 8 likes · 0 dislikes
  • She Comes When the Rain Falls.
    A troubled soldier, an angry ghost, and a past that won't stay buried.
    7,713 words · 338 views · 17 likes · 3 dislikes

Blog Posts (5)


Four hundred years ago, an alien warp gate was discovered that connected Equestria to the Koprulu sector. A deserted sector of spaced filled with centuries worth of abandoned alien technology. That technology advanced Equestrian civilization hundreds of years into the future. One hundred years after its opening, that warp gate would close, trapping many citizens of Equestria on the other side. Cut off from their ancestral homeland, their descendants have grown up to a life filled with war and chaos, fought using technology never meant for pony kind.

On a quiet little colony, three young mares enjoyed a relatively happy childhood. During one of their usual friendly outings, they make a discovery that will change their lives forever. Their peaceful childhood comes to an end as the now adult cutie mark crusaders are about to find out just how hard life in this sector of space can be.

Additional lore on the factions can be found here if you are interested.

Cover Art and Chapter Art by Rametep. You can find his gallery here.

First Published
2nd May 2013
Last Modified
27th Sep 2013

Comments ( 452 )

D48
#1 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 7m ago · · ·

Well, this is looking interesting, although there is not enough story to say for certain yet and there were a few minor typos so you should probably look into getting a pre-reader.

#2 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 6d ago · 3 · ·

Ok, this is actually a unique concept.

#3 · Chapter 3 · 50w, 6d ago · · ·

This is nice and all, but I'm sad there's no 'Toss in this story.

#4 · Chapter 3 · 50w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2522595 It's a very big universe and only three chapters in. While the protoss are gone, their technology and culture were assimilated by the ponies, just like the terran. Or maybe the technology assimilated them? I don't know. I'm not a philosopher.

As I said, it's a big universe, which is why I'm doing a chapter a day so far. School starts for me this month, so I'm trying to get as much set up as possible before then, because I'll probably slow down afterwards.

#5 · Chapter 3 · 50w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2522620 Protoss..... DEAD? Well at least mention the most superior race in all of the Koprulu sector

#6 · Chapter 3 · 50w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2522640 They'll get their turn in the spot light. Like I said, it's a big universe, so it takes a while to get to it.

Though when I first started, I was debating whether or not I should make a chapter that just gives the origin story without talking about the central plot. I know people who are already familiar with the StarCraft universe might appreciate knowing exactly how this all happened. But at the same time I think people who never knew a thing about starcraft prior to reading this might instead prefer to find out as the story unfolds rather than an exposition dump.

Comment posted by Unholyheaven deleted at 2:05am on the 9th of May, 2013
#8 · Chapter 2 · 50w, 4d ago · · ·

No, doesn't need Mature. And yes, please, do not use the overly-butchered accent style for Apple Bloom.

Also, I actually never knew what SCV stood for until now. :twilightsheepish:

One last thing to our ponies:

“It’s got jets, can’t it just fly across?” asked Scootaloo.

“Those are meant more for traveling short distances in zero gravity.” replied Apple Bloom. “I’ve seen people use them to jump on and off cliffs. But that was height, and this is distances. But maybe if I can get a running start…”

Girls, it's an SCV, not a Reaper. :rainbowlaugh:

#9 · Chapter 4 · 50w, 4d ago · · ·

Wait... Could the zerg going to take Sweetie Belle and mutate (and resurruect?) her?

Comment posted by Unholyheaven deleted at 2:06am on the 9th of May, 2013
#11 · Chapter 5 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·

“I’m sorry Dave, I am afraid I can’t let you do that.”

1. Actually, it's "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

2. That is damn ancient, considering when StarCraft takes place.

Also, the thing that bugs me the most is your posessives. For example, it should be "Sweetie Belle's".

I have now made it a goal to imagine the story in the quality of a StarCraft II cinematic. And for applicable times, the top-view game view.

Lastly, you gotta add this to some more groups dude.

Comment posted by Unholyheaven deleted at 6:33am on the 15th of August, 2013
#13 · Chapter 5 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·

HI there! I offer you a deal. I will follow and comment on your starcraft story if you follow and comment on mine. deal?

#14 · Chapter 6 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·

Twilight's a Ghost. Okay.

#15 · Chapter 7 · 50w, 1d ago · · ·

>>2546746

According to the Dark Templar saga, the teachings of the void came after the Khala, and the Khala didn't come until after the aeon of strife.

They were all naturally connected before the khala to a degree. The Xel'Naga at first only guided their evolution from the shadows, but after they revealed themselves and were worshiped as gods, problems started to occur. Mainly they grew very close to the Shelak tribe, which earned the Shelak tribe the ire of the other tribes who became jealous of their favoritism and grew to resent them. The Xel'naga noticed this, and rather than put the other tribes at ease, they were fascinated by this illogical emotional reaction, and decided to just wait and see what happens. As the tribes drifted, that's what caused the first psychic link to start to crumble.

The Xel'Naga realized the damage they had done, and decided to leave Aiur while they still could. This infuriated the protoss, who proceeded to attack the Xel'Naga, killing them by the hundreds and destroying much of their fleet. This first particularly horrible act of violence completely severed the link. The protoss, who were used to being connected to one another, were now alone and terrified as they filled with anger and uncertainty. That caused the aeon of strife which came before either the void or the khala.

Eventually scholars of the Shelak tribe would discover the Krydian crystals (probably spelling that wrong). These xel'naga artifacts were living crystals left behind by the xel'naga which are used to make the pylons in starcraft. (In the terran campaign, Stetman studyed a tiny fragment of a crystal from a destroyed pylon in the hyperion. It eventually grows into a full sized crystal that provides protoss tech for Rynors raiders.) These crystals provided two things, one was a warp network/power field that would be key to the raise of the Aiur Empire. Two, by merging consciousness with the crystals, protoss could once again form a new psychic link, this was the link that would be known as the Khala.

But some protoss found they actually enjoyed their individuality, and the frothing madness it brought. Believe it or not, the first dark Templar (at the time just called rogues) were actually very violent compared to the way they are by the time you get to the events of starcraft 1. And even during starcraft one, the books show that there still factions of dark Templar completely devoted their personal war on Aiur, which was mostly assassinating high Templar and preservers.

In order to hide from the Empire, the rogues had to cut off their tendrils to avoid detection while they were still living on Aiur. The long "hair" that Khala protoss have isn't a sign of devotion. Those are the psychic nerve appendages that link them to the Khala. That's why dark Templar don't have any "hair", they cut it off to avoid the empires detection. Unfortunately for them, the conclave already had a very extensive list of names, and the Templar known as Adun was able to easily find the rogues. But at this point the rogues had learned to adjust to their individuality, and (for the most part) were no longer the violent killers they were during the age of strife. Like humans though, they still had the occasional violent nut job, as opposed to protoss in the khala, which for the most part showed almost no signs of violence towards other khala worshipers.

Adun somehow was the first protoss to know how to use the energies of the void. Seeing that the rogue learned to control their individuality, he taught the rogue Raszagal how to use the voids powers to hide from the conclave. She would later become the Dark Templar Matriarch. The Dark Templar eventually get exiled to Shakkuras, and the rest is history.

I don't know exactly how Adun learned to use the void. You might be right that he learned to use the void from the xel'naga, but I can't find anything to confirm or deny that. Despite all the books that have been released in the last few years since blizz updated the starcraft franchise, there is still little info on Adun. He is only described as a legend of protoss lore, and I think Blizzard intentionally keeps a mystery, just like Hasbro and Rainbow Dashes sexuality.

As for psionic immortality, I admit there is absolutely no lore to go with or against it. You are right that they had immortality long before the Khala was discovered. It is shown that the Khalas light does grant some unique abilities. Besides the psychic link, psionic powers, memory transfer on death, and the protoss warp network, it has been shown to make khala protoss completely immune to zerg infestation. Dark Templar still seem to be vulnerable, which is why Raszagal was infested, and the dark Templar used to create the first hybrids. Since no outside races have ever been brought into the Khala, there is really nothing to go on in terms of how it would effect psychic humans, or unicorn ponies. Main reason I decided to go with that was to maka the Khalai unicorns more protoss like, and also one of the reason why so many unicorns left Celestia's rule in favor of the Khala.

Well I'm going to get breakfast now, and then get started on the next chapter.

#16 · Chapter 8 · 50w, 1d ago · · ·

Do yu just write extremely fast or do you have some of this already typed up?!

Also, the scene switch- the one scene switch. [ hr] is your friend. Remove that space and yout get


This. Makes it a bit easier to understand.

#17 · Chapter 8 · 50w, 1d ago · · ·

It's all done on an day to day basis. Absolutely nothing is written ahead of time.

I sit down and ask, "ok, what happens today?" After a few minute I decide on this that and other, then just write whatever comes to mind. Just until school starts on the 17th for me. After that, you can expect things to slow down.

What exactly is


?

Edit: OH! I makes the big straight line. Ok thanks.

#18 · Chapter 8 · 50w, 1h ago · · ·

>>2546746 Wait.... 'Toss are immortal? I thought they had just extremely long life spans of many thousands of years, and the Xel'naga had a even longer one. Protoss have to die eventually right? Or is it that they somehow slow down their aging? And I always knew that Toss didn't have hair.. So those are their nerve appendages.

>>2547248 Wow you just doubled by Toss lore, but isn't it so that the void also protects Dts from being infested but not from being corrupted by the zerg?

#19 · Chapter 8 · 50w, 1h ago · · ·

>>2554008

If that were true, there probably wouldn't be any hybreds. You have to remember that void powers can work both ways. Protoss can use the void to kill otherwise immortal cerebrates. But just as Kerrigan (a void user) used it to manipulate Raszagal, Duran/Narud was able to use the void to infest the protoss and create the hybrid. he did it using Dark Templar. I admit there is nothing that said if this was because the void did or didn't protect him, but seeing as how protoss can use the void to counter zerg reincarnations, I'm assuming it was a similar process. As I said, if there was no way to infest a protoss, there would be no hybreds in the first place.

#20 · Chapter 8 · 50w, 1h ago · · ·

>>2554123 Jeez, you get this lore from the books right? Well thanks anyway.

#21 · Chapter 9 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·

OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!! A starcraft crossover? This gotta be good!

#22 · Chapter 9 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·

Plooottt tttwwwiiiiiissstttttt!!!!

Seriously- do you just write ridiculously fast or do you have stuff written aleady?

#23 · Chapter 3 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·

someone put a hand on her shoulder

put a hand

hand

NO:flutterrage:

On a serious note, good and interesting story so far. :pinkiehappy:

#24 · Chapter 9 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2556342

AWW CRAP I JUST COUGHT THAT! You're right, Twilight doesn't use precision gloves because she is a unicorn. Ok I'll change that right now. Thanks for catching that for me.

Edit 0810: Apparently I was thinking of something else. You were on chapter four when you read that, so I'll look for that oopsy right now before I leave.

Edit 0812: I found out what you were talking about. That pony was in power armor. In order to operate their weapons, their power armor requires them to walk on two legs to free up their front hooves. Their front hooves on the power armor have robotic hands that allow them to hold weapons and pull triggers.

I admit I wasn't as thorough in making that clear earlier on because it wasn't as important (I didn't think about that scene you just pointed out.) Though later on in the chapter ice house and benefactor it gets touched on a lot more. Sorry about the confusion, but I just didn't really find a place in the earlier chapters that really felt like a break down of the bi-pedal necessity of power armor was justified yet. It all seemed out of place so I just waited until later to explain it.

#25 · Chapter 9 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2556154

As I said before. It's all written on a day by day basis. Nothing is written ahead of time, just to a degree thought up ahead of time.

It's 0805 for me. I'm going to eat a light breakfast, go on a three mile run, come back, take a shower, then probably spend the next few hours writing the next chapter.

By the way, it turns out school for me starts on the 14th, not 17. So that's when my free time will be severely shortened.

#26 · Chapter 9 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2556701

Whoops. Missed the first reply. Anyways...

+3k words nearly day-to-day? That's ridiculous. You must have a great idea where you're going, since I had trouble being able to do that when I was on vacation. Or maybe I just set high standards for myself. *shrug*

#27 · Chapter 5 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·

Well, first off, I did not expect RD as a reaper. :rainbowderp: Second, it would be better to give the offender a second chance than to completely change them into a basically mindless being. Imprison them to punish them, if you have to kill them, I guess kill them. But just give them a second chance. Third, I feel that the factions are not that defined. You have Mar Sara militia in here, but what are they doing there? Shouldn't every soldier be of the Dominion unless they're rebels?

Comment posted by Gapeagle deleted at 6:34am on the 15th of August, 2013
#29 · Chapter 10 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2558327

Twilight was just in the area and decided she had to act fast before she lost the target. Sweetie Belle gave off a strong psionic presence when she lifted the SCV.

I'm working on a lore page for each faction. I was planning on releasing Dominon faction some time today or tomorrow, then releasing more on each faction as they are introduced. I can tell you the next faction will be the Khalai Ponies once feel it's appropriate to shift focus. But I can't really leave the CMC how they are at the moment, so I need to finish them up first.

I'll tell you this much.

There is the Khala which was explained in the first lore piece.

The Dominion which is currently the faction we are looking at and will get a lore page in a bit.

The Confederacy which are the colonies that remained loyal to Commander Steel Wing. They remained loyal to the Equestrian Government, but have had to make a new government once they were cut off. Their psychics focused on controlling the zerg to supplement their military (due to the heavy losses of the Khala rebellion)

The Vatican who still remain furiously loyal to Celestia above all else. When Commander Steel Wing signed a cease fire against the Khala heretics, they formed their own faction and continue a holy war. They are the only faction left who retained the secrets of arcane magic, so they still operate similarly to Equestrian society.

And the Consortium who were all the remaining colonies who merged together to resist Dominion and Confederate expansion. They are ran mostly by corporations (particularly mining guilds) and PMCs. It's typically where the worst members of every faction go to avoid pursuit. Or where deserters go to sell their skills as guns for hire; soldiers and magic users alike.

Like I said, each faction gets to be in the spot light eventually, and there will be unique characters for each faction. And I hope to eventually get a lore update detailing each factions military, history, government and culture.

#30 · Chapter 10 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·

There are few like it, this one isn’t yours.

Oh that's a brilliant inversion. :rainbowlaugh:

#31 · Chapter 11 · 49w, 4d ago · · ·

Dude! Please continue! :pinkiesmile:

#32 · Chapter 11 · 49w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

"Lesson Zero 101511"

What you did there, I see it.:pinkiehappy:

#33 · Chapter 11 · 49w, 4d ago · · ·

The Khala? I thought  that you would get her infested, what with how impressing your will on everything around you would make her perfect for controlling the scattered swarm.

#34 · Chapter 11 · 49w, 4d ago · · ·

Hello agian I have an idea that has been in.my head for a short time, but first: wow... you can really update. But anyway: I am wondering, have the auir ponies ever found a certian area there? Namely the final resting place of a certian protoss hero, the most famous of all; have the ponies on Auir ever found the corpse of the over mind (or whatevers left) anf with it, the spirit of Tassadar? If they havent can you make them do so? BTW the story gets better and better

Comment posted by Unholyheaven deleted at 4:18pm on the 12th of May, 2013
#36 · Chapter 11 · 49w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2565743

Well I decided early on that I wanted to introduce the Khala after the Dominion. I haven't gotten to them yet, but there are powerful zerg controllers in the sector. The Dominion trains their unicorns to become ghost agents. The Confederacy infest their unicorns and train them to control zerg in order compensate for their population deficiency against the Dominion.

#37 · Chapter 11 · 49w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2566239

I see, so that means that confederacy makes up for their inferior numbers by using the zerg's superior numbers similar to how the UED did. But that still doesn't change the fact that it means that the Zerg don't have a faction in the pony controlled koprulu sector, I was looking forward to Sweetie Belle emulating the Queen of Blades/Primal infested Kerrigan.

Comment posted by Unholyheaven deleted at 6:35am on the 15th of August, 2013
#39 · Chapter 3 · 49w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

>>2556342 Damn your avatar fit just right

#40 · Chapter 12 · 49w, 2d ago · 3 · ·

Well either way it's still a good story and I shall wait for more dude! :pinkiehappy:

#41 · Chapter 1 · 49w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

"I have da powa!!!!!" - Red Button.

Comment posted by KRissCHu573 deleted at 6:32am on the 15th of August, 2013
#43 · Chapter 3 · 49w, 1d ago · · ·

Yeah, I read the lore chapter on how ponies arrived into the Koprulu, and the dominion one, but as a BroToss I must agree with >>2522640 on one thing.

Protoss...dead? DA FUQ? :rainbowhuh:

Comment posted by Unholyheaven deleted at 6:35am on the 15th of August, 2013
Comment posted by Rotorix deleted at 8:24pm on the 15th of May, 2013
#46 · Chapter 6 · 49w, 10h ago · · ·

Ponies are herbivours. Since when can they eat meat, and be able to properly digest it, let alone become canibals?

#47 · Chapter 8 · 48w, 6d ago · · ·

Wow, I read this chapter while I was at the gym, it was

MOTIVATING! Seriously, for a moment an instructor was looking at me weirdly and I started doing stuff faster. :rainbowlaugh:

>>2554137 Guess, who's here...

*clears throat* *takes a deep breath*

>>2547248 You make some really good points there. Yes I know of those DarkTemps who even after evacuating to Shakuras are still hellbent on anihilating the Khalai. A good example from the books would be those 12 dark temps who merged into a dark archon after the zerg invasion on Aiur, and that archon placed all the remaining zerg on Aiur under his control and started attacking the Khalai. Okay I was bumfuck wrong about the "hair" part. Still you didn't have to type all of that stuff. I know arround 70% of the protoss history by heart. :pinkiesmile: Though I will agree with you. Blizzard have been acting rather like a bitch about giving us more info on Adun. All I know about him is that he was one of the first protoss to learn the way of the Void(weird how he managed to get promoted to Executor), he oppoused the conclave's orders and saved as much of the dark temps as he could, he was a mentor figure to our one and only Tassadar, and a greater badass than even Varok Saurfang(Warcraft) in general. But nothing more. Also about their life spans, some of the members of the council which ruled the conclave were about 70k years old, idk if all protoss are, but the three preservers from the WoL mission "A sinister turn" are legitimately immortal. The only way for them to die, is if someone drained their energy(like Ma'ar(the hybrid who did it)), but still they are uber dudes. Ma'ar had drained a lot of energy from them, yet when they were freed, they barely felt the differance. Other examples of immortal protoss: You know how archons hold so much power, plus the battle for control of all of the minds which originally created the archon, that even bodies entirely made of energy can not hold them for long? (an archon made from "average" templar's life time is averagely 10 minutes) But if the Templars who merge are pwoerful, can concentrate on a single long lasting task(which becomes the archon's goal in life), and are a lot, those three factors can sustain an archon for longer. Technically the first two are the most important. If the Templars are UBER OP, and concentrate on a long lasting task(and if they have some numbers) an archon will be practically immortal.  Oh yeah, one other guy who is legit immortal - Tassadar.

>>2554123

Now, there is something I must disagree with you here. Raszagal was under Kerrigan's control. Nowhere is said that she was infested. All protoss (Khalai and Nerazim) are immune to zerg infestation, but they can still carry zerg organisms in their bodies(HotS), and someone as strong with psionic power as Kerrigan can corrupt their minds. As I explained in a lore battle, the Void deals with a more mystical pool of psionic energy. Thus giving DTs the ability to cloak, create illusions, and attack the very being(aka soul) of someone. Which is why Void users(such as Kerrigan) can corrupt minds. I don't know if you have read this in the books, or somewhere else, but I think you got the concept of zerg infestation and protoss/zerg hybridisation wrong. The infestation works like this: The zerg virus embeds itself in the gene stream of a living creature, and eventually ovewhelms it. They do not merge with it, they use the original genetic code of the creature as a base template, which is later "improoved" by zerg standarts making something that has 80% zerg DNA and 20% or less of its old self. Protoss are immune to that. Now, the hybridisation is not infestation of protoss. In it, protoss and zerg DNA are merged together synthetically in a balanced 50% to 50% genetic ratio, not naturaly like how the infestation works. If you plan on adding hybrid in the fic you should take this into consideration. All protoss can be converged into hybrids, they first used Dark Temps, because hybrids are made with Xel'Naga science, and Xel'Naga science was not adapted to the Khala, but it was well aware of the Void. Now, it isn't certain that Duran and Narud are one and the same guy. There is also the theory that they are two different dudes, and that there are more Xel'Naga made shapeshifters like them. But all in all, your statement that if protoss were not infestable there would be no hybrids is just as(if not even more) wrong as mine that the Khalai had hair, and grew it in devotion to the Khala. :rainbowlaugh:

You are a really nice guy to have a conversation with, you know that? :pinkiesmile: I'd be glad if we could "chat" like this more often. :twilightsmile:

........

PEACE!

Comment posted by georgster101 deleted at 6:32am on the 15th of August, 2013
#49 · Chapter 12 · 48w, 3d ago · · ·

Um...

Sovereign looked back at Sweetie Belle, then took a second to show off his blade. “This old thing? It’s a warp blade.

Yeah, no. :ajbemused: Those are psionic energy blades, not warp blades. You kinda mixed starcraft and warhammer 40k there.

I am in love with the story still. :rainbowlaugh:

#50 · Chapter 12 · 48w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

>>2603572 ahem http://starcraft.wikia.com/wiki/Warp_blade

You have committed crimes against Korhal and her people. What say you in your defense?

I read this in a Skyrim guard's voice and couldn't get him out of my mind. :twilightblush:

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