So I’m sitting there, tending bar, when in comes a very intriguing pony, Derpy Hooves.
Now Derpy is known by many names around these parts such as “Muffins” and “Ditzy Doo”, but I know I call her Ms. Hooves. Plus, due to her condition, calling her Derpy would just seem a bit off to me.
She is a well meaning mare, but sweet Celestia and Luna is she dumb. I am not trying to be mean here, but if a brick and this mare entered a thickness contest, the brick would lose on the spot.
And to top it off she is one of the most incompetent mailponies I have seen. I mean, I had a friend sent me a message and the damn pony ended in Yak Yakistan three days later.
Anyway, she trots in and sits by the bar.
“Oi, Ms. Hooves”, I said to her kindly, “Will you be having the usual?”
“Yes”, she said, “One muffin, please.”
“Coming right up”, I said and took out a trey of freshly baked muffins. Why are you surprised? This is a bar/restaurant after all. Just because all of my past customers tend to get drinks, doesn't mean we don't serve food as well. I mean, it's not as good, but hey, at least we try.
As she is sitting there I notice a very important looking mail in her hooves. It was coated in diamonds and on the envelope was written
“Urgently deliver to princess Celestia”.
I hand her the muffin and she delightfully eats it.
“Ms. Hooves”, I began, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what is that envelope over there?” I said pointing my hoof at the mail in front of me.
“What envelope?” she asked. I almost facehoofed at that one.
“The envelope in front of you”, I said .
“Oh that”, she giggled, “That’s just some old stuff. I mean I had it with me for three months now.”
“Three months?!” I exclaimed.
“Yupers!” she said with a smile.
“Don’t you think something titled ‘Urgently deliver to princess Celestia’ would take priority?!” I asked her.
“What are you talking about?” she asked.
“Look at the envelope on the desk”, I said.
“I am pretty sure you’re worrying my dear Angelo”, she said and looked down at the envelope. Suddenly she gasped in horror.
“Oh no , oh no, oh no!” she began to yell “This is just awful! I must have given Princess Celestia the wrong envelope! I really need to get my act together”, she almost cried.
“Hey”, I tried to console her, “It’s an honest mistake.”
“No, no, they’re definitely going to fire me for this! Oh why am I so stupid!” she began to slam her hoof on her head.
“Hey don’t do that”, I said, stopping her hoof, “Look, I am sure if you hurry up, you can get the letter to Celestia if you hurry!”
“Right!” she said with determination “I am going right now!”
“Wait you forgot to - -“ I tried to tell her she didn’t pay me, but I let it go. That pony has enough problems of her own as it is.
A few days later, I found out that the letter was delivered safely. Apparently, it was a diplomatic letter that could have endangered the entire peace of Equestria if not responded to. Why they gave it to Ms. Hooves, I will never know.
You see a lot of weird things as a bartender. You see a lot of weird things at the Hay Palace. So, I see a lot of weird things as a bartender at the Hay Palace. And that’s no lie. Swear on me mum.
6282010 Sry! And thanks!!!
6283710 Hahhahaha you actually got it?! It's one of my personal favorite reviews so I had to do it lol Plus the movie was real bad and terrible
6283800 Haha nice one. But yeah it's my little quirky product and I am glad you liked it (and that it even inspired a new story for you). More confessions are on the way (I try to do at least two a day)