Ponyville confessions

by Lunaexcelsior

Time Turner

So I am sitting there, tending bar, when in comes somepony, I don’t really see a lot in my restaurant, Time Turner.

Now someponies know him as Dr. Whooves, for some odd reason, but I like to refer to my customers by their regular name.

So he comes up to me and I see he is carrying a suitcase, chained to his front hoof. It was quite odd, but I chose to ignore it for a bit.

“Barskey!” he called out to me “I want an apple martini. Shaken, not stirred”.

I rolled my eyes and began to prepare his drink. Just as I began shaking his martini, the bloomin’ guy yelled at me.

“Stop! That’s enough”, he said.

I just rolled my eyes again and poured him in the drink.

As he is sitting there, sipping his drink, I can’t help myself, but to stared at his suitcase. I mean the bloody thing was chained to his hoof!
Somepony is bound to stare at the damn thing.

So I asked him “Oi, Mr. Turner, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what’s in that suitcase of yours?”

Turner looked at me with a smirk and tapped his suitcase confidently.

“This thing is going to make me all the money I could wish”, Time Turner told me.

“Oh it’s another one of your crazy inventions, isn’t it?” I asked him slyly.

He looked at me and laughed viciously.

“Ha! As if”, Time Turner exclaimed, wiping away the tears from his face, “No, no, this the real deal right here”.

“So what is it?” I asked him.

He looked around the bar, making sure nopony was watching him, and got real close in my face.

“Filthy Rich’s secrets”, Time Turner responded.

“Filthy Ric--?!” I tried to exclaim in shock, but Turner puts a hoof on me mouth.

“Bloody ‘ell man!”, he yells at me in a whispery voice, “Are you trying to get us both killed?”

“Alright, alright”, I said, slowly calming down, “but why do you have his secrets?”

“Well it was kind of my job”, Turner responded, “I am a corporate spy working for Filthy’s rivals”

“But aren’t you a scientist?” I ask him, still confused by his story.

“That’s my cover story”, Time Turner says and winks at me.

“So how did you acquire these documents?” I ask, my curiosity slowly growing.

“Well”, Mr. Turner began his story, “I was able to get real close and personal with Mr. Rich, presenting my ‘inventions’ for his funding. The foal was hooked lined and sinkered, nearly each and every time. The fool even used one of my listening bugs as his flowers”, Turner laughed at that remark.

He then took a sip out of his martini and continued his story.

“So, anyway, once my bugs were in place, I was able to discover all of his secrets. From embezzlement to even forced foal labor. It was rather
easy”, Time Turner said smugly.

I just nodded me head and looked at him, completely wide eyed in shock. He seemed a bit amused by my bewilderment.

He paid up for the drink and began to walk out.

“Oi”, I yelled at him, “How do you know that I won’t say anything?”

He smirked at me, winked and pointed his hoof to one of me flowers.

“I am always watching”, he said and left the bar, never to return again.

You see a lot of weird things as a bartender. You see a lot of weird things at the Hay Palace. So, I see a lot of weird things as a bartender at the Hay Palace. And that’s no lie. Swear on me mum.

Comments

[nioniosbbbb]

even forced foal labor.

HOLY SHIT I didn't expect that! Super illegal! I don't see Filthy Rich like that.