Ponyville confessions

by Lunaexcelsior

Celestia

So I’m sitting there, tending bar, when in comes a strange new pony to my restaurant.

Now this pony was pretty tall and slim, but I couldn’t for the life of me tell what species it was. It wore a mask of some sorts and a big brown cloak, kind of like those street ponies I used to see.

So it sits down and I asked them “What’ll it be?”

“Give me the Sunshine supreme”, the pony said in a feminine voice. Now this took me a bit by surprise, since there’s only one pony in Equestria who can stomach the Sunshine supreme, which is essentially a cocktail of lemon, lime and grapefruit juice mixed with absinthe, vodka and moonshine.

It’s an extremely powerful beverage.

I looked a bit closer to this pony and I noticed a long horn protruding out of its hood and a pair of wings barely moving under it.

Well it was pretty obvious to me, who this was.

“Princess Cele—“, I said, but she placed a hoof over me mouth, showing off her golden horseshoes.

“Quiet, barskey”, she said, taking off her mask, “I don’t want everypony to know I am here”.

“Alright”, I whispered to her.

There weren’t that many ponies left in the bar, aside from a couple usuals, but they were pretty much drunk off their flanks by now.

I poured in her cocktail and handed it over to her.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking this”, I said to her, “but what are you doing here at this wee hour?”

“Well”, Celestia said and took a sip out of her drink, “As it turns out, there have been rumors of a planned rebellion”, she whispered to me.

“A rebellion?”, I repeated in shock.

“Yeah”, she said, “I heard it from a pony that has done a lot of espionage here. What was his name again? I think it was Tim Churner”, she said.

“You mean Time Turner, your highness?” I interjected.

“Yes that guy”, she said, and then looked at me suspiciously, “How do you know about him?”

“He used to come here, it’s a long story”, I said, waving my hooves, “How did you manage to catch him?”

“I didn’t”, Celestia said, “My Guards arrested him a few days ago, due to his tax evasions”, she explained, “Once that was brought to the court, a lot of his other secrets bubbled up and I struck him a deal”.

“What did you offer him?” I asked.

“Well I offered him only two years in the dungeon, maybe even less, if he tells me everything he knows”, Celestia explained.

“And he accepted that?” I said in surprise.

“Well it was either that or be banished to the Moon”, she explained coldly, “Anyway, he told me that there were some changeling scum around these parts that were spreading rumors about me”, Celestia explained.

“What kind of rumors?”I asked.

“Rumors like how I’m going to make an obligatory militia and do a forced mobilization, raise taxes and other lies like those. Which are simply not true!", Celestia said in outrage, "I would never do that to my beloved subjects! I'm not running a military state her!"

"Calm down, princess, I belive ya", I said to her, "So why the get up?"

"They were stirring up problems so I went incognito to find these scum and teach them a lesson”, Celestia said angrily.

As Celestia finished her story, I could see one of the drunkers nervously stand up and walk out.

Celestia quickly noticed that and smirked to me.

“What would you do to them?” I asked.

“Oh I will do something to them, that they are going to wish that they were never hatched”, she quickly finished her drink and winked at me.

I winked back as she gave me the money for the drink.

She gracefully got up and calmly walked out of the restaurant.

I don’t know what exactly happened, but a minute later I could hear a scream, followed by a bright light and then by the silence of the night.

Bottom line, if you want to start a revolution in Equestria, do yourself a favor and don’t.

You see a lot of weird things as a bartender. You see a lot of weird things at the Hay Palace. So, I see a lot of weird things as a bartender at the Hay Palace. And that’s no lie. Swear on me mum.

Comments

[Lunaexcelsior]

6244549 It's a coming, don't worry

[Lunaexcelsior]

6244739 Thank you