Great and powerful Trixie and the Main Shies!

Trixie is the Greatest Pony1,481 stories ·1,109 members

Great and powerful Trixie and the Main Shies!

The gang is invited to Manhattan by Trixie, during the show Trixie hypnotizes flutter shy! And asks a series of questions that caused flutter shy to imitate several of her friends, and the imitation makes them miserable! As the main six exactly what flutter shy things of, and no pony unscathed well except for one! But that's only because she has no logic!

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Comments ( 7 )

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MythrilMoth

MythrilMoth #1 · Jul 17th, 2015 · 1 · 3 ·

I'm going to assume English is not your first language. And that you're 10. And haven't learned how to write creatively in ANY language. That's the only possible explanation for this.

Magenta Cat

Magenta Cat #2 · Jul 17th, 2015 · 1 · ·

6214094
Either that or we're in the presence of a major class trollfic.

MythrilMoth

MythrilMoth #3 · Jul 17th, 2015 · 1 · 1 ·

6214223 Going by the rest of this guy's published stories, I think he just really has no idea what he's doing.

Magenta Cat

Magenta Cat #4 · Jul 17th, 2015 · 1 · ·

6214278
Oh, come one, how bad it can be?
*gives them a look*
Oh God, it's even worse!

Sir lightning blade

Sir lightning blade #5 · Jul 17th, 2015 · · 1 ·

6214483 Minor suggestion, this is a comments page. Not a chat room! Also I don't care how fast the reader you are six minutes does not give you the ability to read, all my stories. Not even Barry can do that.

Magenta Cat

Magenta Cat #6 · Jul 17th, 2015 · 1 · ·

6214541
First of all, yes, Barry can totally do that.

Secondly, I always do my research and to prove it, here's a quick compilation of what your stories could use to improve;

Learn! English! Now! Most of your stories are incomprehensible.
No, having dyslexia is not an excuse when you live in a world were programs like Word or Google Docs could quickly point out half of the problems, at the same time you're in a writing page with a sh*tload of editors who could help.
On that last note, learn how to take criticism, they're not personal attacks and if someone takes his time to actually point out what parts of your work aren't working, it means he either wants to help or at least has something important to say.
Basic logic, it's a thing and you should NOT ignore it.
Don't rely on the author's note and comments section to explain yourself. If your story is presenting a new concept, you should explain it to the reader in-story through the narration or the dialogues.
Following the above, there's a line between narrative description and role-play description, try to get more familiar with the first one.
The description is to describe the story, not for the author to talk about it.
The alchemically golden rule of storytelling: SHOW! DON'T TELL! Narration means action+dialogue. You can't just spent an entire story describing things.

ChronoMitsurugi