Story
“Welcome to Hay-Fry Fever, home of the Fever Fries. May I take your order?”
Spike looked away from the small drive-thru speaker and addressed the mare sitting next to him. “Alright, Trixie, what do you want?”
“Hmph, Trixie needs time to think,” Trixie replied from her seat in the taxi wagon.
“Hey, uh, we’re gonna need just a second,” Spike said back to the speaker.
“Alright, just order whenever,” the snotty, teenage voice of a mare replied.
“Okay, Trixie, what do you feel hungry for? Hay burger? Fries? Milkshake?”
“Oh, curses, there’s just too many choices. The number one looks good, but so does the number three…” Trixie pouted while looking at the menu. “It’s too complicated to decide on such short notice.”
“Ugh, and this is why I suggested we go inside,” Spike grumbled.
“Trixie had no time to style her beautiful mane this morning. The world was not fit to be amongst its presence.”
“Your mane looks fine,” Spike said with a sigh. “It’s your breath that’ll scare people away. Geez.”
“Oh, shut up, Spike. What do you want?”
“Same as always! A number five hay and cheddar burger with large fries and Colta-Cola. Unlike you, I’m not all wishy-washy about everything.”
“I am not wishy-washy! I just have a refined sense of choice… and it’s still in the loading process at this time.”
“Not to like, rush you or anything, but we’ve got other people behind you, so…”
“Sorry, we’re almost ready!” Spike shouted back at the speaker. “Alright, Trix, hurry up already.”
“Fine, fine, fine… Give me a number three with fries, medium size.”
“Okay, gotcha.”
Spike cleared his throat and addressed the speaker. “Alright, we’re ready… I think.”
“Alright, what are we having?”
“I need a number five, large sized with a Colta-Cola and hay fries.”
“Alright, what else?”
“Yeah, I also need a number three, medium sized with fries.”
“Okay, and what to drink with that one?”
“We need a… -hey, what’d you want to drink, Trix? Cola, root beer?”
“Trixie does not soil her tongue with such cheap beverages. She wants a Pepsi.”
“Okay, we need a Pepsi with that one!”
“Sorry, we don’t have Pepsi. We only have Colta-Cola products.”
“Sorry, Trixie, they don’t have Pepsi.”
“What?” Trixie shrieked. “What kind of archaic society is this? Hey, do you all still segregate Pegasi and Unicorns, too?!”
Spike dropped his face into his palm. “Look, just get a Colta-Colta. It’s basically the same.”
“Spike, that’s like saying it’s okay to get paid marenopoly money at work!”
Spike let out a groan and rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever, just tell me what you want to drink.”
“Alright, fine, but Trixie isn’t happy. Let me see… No Pepsi, so… I got it!”
“Great! What do you want?”
“Do they have Diet Pepsi?”
Spike’s eye twitched for a brief moment. “Forget it. I’ll choose.”
He turned back around to the speaker. “Just give us a Root Beer with that one.”
“Alright, anything else?”
“Nope, that’s-”
“But, I also wanted a-”
“That’s everything!”
“Great. That’ll be five bits at the window. Thanks.”
Spike bid the cart forward to the window.
“But wait, they didn’t read my order back! What if I don't’ get the right food?”
“It’s fine, Trixie. We’ll get the right food.”
“..hmm, we’ll see about that.”
The drive-thru window opened up revealing a very miserable looking teenager. “Yeah, that’ll be five bits. Or are you going to take all day searching for your money?”
“Geez, attitude much?” Spike said to himself whilst bringing out his wallet. “Here you go.”
The girl took the money from him and stashed it into the register. “Are you all going to need any sauce?”
“Yeah, I’ll take some ketchup. You want any, Trixie?”
“Hmm, Trixie shall ponder on this for a moment…”
“Oh, joy,” the girl at the window said, rolling her eyes. “I’ll just come back in a few months, then.”
“Trixie just wants some buffalo sauce for her fries.”
“Sorry, ma’am, we don’t have buffalo sauce.”
Spike could feel his headache reaching new heights. He was never going to get his food at this point.
“No buffalo sauce? This establishment disgusts Trixie…”
“Yeah, okay, I’ll just go grab your food now.”
“Do your minimum wage duty, peasant. Trixie will be watching you and your evil corporate empire…”
“Trixie, please don’t threaten the crew ponies. You know that never ends well. I had to bail you out of county jail the last time!”
“Trixie is merely trying establish justice for all the food consumers of the world. An aim not totally devoid of merit.”
“Fine… But can we please save it for when we get home and eat our food. I’m super hungry and really don’t want to be here any longer than we have to.”
“Fine, but while you’re chowing down on your burger, Trixie will be feasting on justice for all Equestrian citizens.”
“Uh-huh, you do that.”
The drive-thru window swung open and their food was tossed to them.
“All right, there you go. Sauce, napkins and straws are in the bag. Have a great day.”
“Finally!” Spike’s stomach let out a deep growl at the smell of the the bag’s contents. “I need this so bad.”
The wagon pulled away toward their home.
“Hmm, Trixie needs her fries.” She reached her hoof in the bag and pulled out a few fries. She then greedily stuffed them in her mouth with an elated smile. However, that smile soon turned into a frown. “Spike, we need to go back.”
“What? Why? We’ve succeeded in our mission. What possible, Celestia-Forsaken reason could you have for wanting to go back?!”
“The fries are cold. Trixie refuses to eat sub-standard food.” Without a second though, she took the bag and tossed it off the cart into a garbage can on the path. “It does not deserve to be in Trixie’s stomach.”
A lone tear streaked down Spike’s cheek. Life just wasn’t fair.
“All right, let’s go back.”
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Best story ever.
Spike, I feelz for you, it's ok man, don't cri
Jesus I have never read something so amazing
This was great. Poor Spike and drive-thu attendants.
Should have thrown Trixie out of the car. Or gone to a better place.
How about Arby's?
6166285 Somehow, I think you know who is really behind this story.
6166285 Arby's roast beef sandwhiches are even more awesome than this story. Did you know they serve Reubens?
I was kind of expecting this line:
6166285 I manage an Arbys. Mid Beef n Cheddar anyone?
Could Spike just reheat the fries with his flame?
Should have gone to Sonic's or Hardee's.
Sonic's knows how to make a cheeseburger.
Are they together or something? If not, why is Spike even with her?
6166677
You manage an arby's? Do thry still sell thise gyros? They arent all that special warm, but if you freeze them they become explosions of layored zesty flavor in your mouth!
Spike and Trixie? Interesting pairing, I like it.
This makes the great and powerful Trixie hungry.
Colta cola. Ha!
6166700 Because they are awesome together.
The food wouldn't be the only thing being tossed in the trash at that point...
Pure silliness.
6166677
The Smoked brisket is good. I've always found the texture of their roast beef strange.
6166746 They were a promotional item for the month of April. Now we're on our brown sugar bacon sandwiches. Next month, though, we get a spicy italian sub. Peppeorni, gouda, salami, banana peppers... so good.
6167129 I prefer the smoked turkey, but the brisket is far and away our most high quality sandwich. The tanglers on it are actually our most expensive item (relatively) to order. It's all high quality stuff from big name vendors.
6168137
6168132
... You are making me hungry for a story titled "Arby's In Equestria"
6168306 I get enough Arby's every day at work. I'd like to keep my Ponies separate.
I've worked in a drive-thru before. I did not have as bad a time as many make it out to be.
Guaranteed to raise your body temperature above 102 F.
There's probably a line behind you. Be considerate and know what you want before getting there.
I prefer Sparkle-Cola Rad myself. Mix it with some Abaxo Cleaner and turpentine in a can with a five second fuse...<BOOOOM!>
What did I say earlier?
Pepsi is cheap, but it is pretty good.
Changeling Master Race forever! Bat Pony/Saberhorn/Nightwalker Master Race's forever! Okapi True Master Race forever!
Equestria has an honest banking system and does not print paper money. A world of difference.
All that for five bits? No inflation. See? I told you they had an honest banking system.
Trixie, it's a single restaurant, no other franchises at all. But the owner hopes to change that soon.
Okay, just hold the phone! There's a story there, and I wanna hear it!
Spike and Trixie are roommates? If Twilight is not living with them then who cares about the drive through!? I wanna see that! IF Twilight is not there.
Don't buck with the people who make your food!
Go inside this time.
6166700 They could be Twilight's roommates. Or they ran into each other and decided to shack together since no-one else can put up with them. Spike can get pretty whinny himself.
6165724 What he said. I love Trixie in this.
6166285 ArbyQs are delicious.
ooooooooooooooooooooooh
6166645 I just got that reference. That would have been fun.
Poor Spike. He'd been waiting forever!
This is so cute. Thank you for writing this and sharing it with all of us
This is why I ride solo when going to a drive-thru.
Good lord, this is amazing.
I can HEAR my family members screaming right now. We are a strict Coke family.
6310046 Pepsi all the way.
6342037
You know, it's actually a bit interesting about how they're processed... Coke was made before refrigeration was really a big, common thing, so they designed the drink to taste good warm and Pepsi was specifically designed to be drunken when cold. I don't really remember what the difference between the processes are specifically, but I do know that's a difference between the drinks.
6342047 I suppose I'm a bit biased considering I run a restaurant that features Pepsi products... but
pre01.deviantart.net/9337/th/pre/i/2015/052/6/9/fluttershy___pepsi_by_sumin6301-d8ixefh.jpg
Fluttershy has got my back.
6342047 Coke fucking burns when you drink it warm. It literally feels like drinking battery acid if it's anything higher than 50 degrees fahrenheit.
Just, damnit. I so get Trixie. I've worked at a movie theater for years and had to deal with a lot of shit like this. Maybe not so much the lack of pepsi, but a lot of other things.
Oh, and if anyone ever says they made something "specially for you," it's either been dropped or spat on.
Speaking more about soda, I've learned from experience that soda will fatten you up faster than anything else at the movie theater.
Oh and this.
Trixie represents every american ever to go through a drive thru....
That made me smile waaaay too much! Sooo funny.
Loved the simplistic dialogue style, it really allowed the pacing and story itself to shine through.
A classic tragety of our time.
This is just priceless!
Pepsi is not the same as Coke! For one, Pepsi never had cocaine in it!
This is probably the best thing you've written, Jack. I thought Famous was supposed to be funnier than you, but this proved him wrong.
8224283
previews.123rf.com/images/upthebanner/upthebanner1004/upthebanner100400077/6779493-photo-male-concern-hands-face-on-white-back-drop-Stock-Photo.jpg
this is the best Fast-Food related story on Fimfiction.