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Applejack and Rainbow Dash host a party for Big mac's birthday, and soon find out they are in love with one another.
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 19th May, 2012
- offline last seen Aug 16th, 2015
Dear_Celestia
I am here to write fanfics of the greatest show in the world. MLP:FiM
Dear_Celestia
Joined 19th May, 2012 ·
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"Applejack and Rainbow Dash host a party for Big mac's birthday, and"
And what? Please finish the summary.
Image source?
I actually do like the whole AJ/Dash thing we got going here! Great story and cant wait for chapter 3
Great storyline you got goin here can't wait for a chapter 3 they are like perfect together, Rainbow and Aj, they are both not afraid to get their hooves dirty and have quite matching personalities!
Still loving it
Still loving it
Ya making more chapters?
Must have more Apple/Dash ! This was small chap. But still shows both AJ's and Dash's inner personalities. Keep up the good work and please make more chapters!
Thanks you guys !^_^
But I just thought I would leave it at that. I do like the AJ/RD pairing a lot though. I was thinking of writing a different fanfic though. This one I didn't do my best on I dont think. I think I can do better o.o
i bet you could and i cant wait to read them but this one was very good
Thank you. I am almost done with one right now. It shall be up very soon
straight-forward, some spelling mistakes
have you considered getting yourself a proofreader?
But still, as a true AppleDash fan I cannot be disappointed
What a generic name. I like it already.
*read later*
Thanks you guys
A bow tie for Big Mac?
Bow ties are cool...
What is with the emphasis on Celestia "allowing" them to visit Canterlot and "allowing" the rest of the Mane 6 to join them? Is this some sort of dystopian Equestria where ponies need permission to move from town to town? It's just weird.
Your writing is very... amateur. Everything was rushed. On the whole it was pretty 'meh'. I'm guessing you're in your early teens? Read more books, watch more movies, practice writing more, etc., and as you get older and gain life experience, your writing will improve.
Unrealistic dialogue, especially toward the end.
Rainbow Dash doesn't sound like Rainbow Dash.
At one point the story summed up what everypony was doing too fast and too briefly...trying to give us whiplash?
Saliva string........ew.
No romantic tension. Just a birthday party story that ends in a sudden confession.
A mention of Derpy but no personality for her, she may has not been in the story at all.
Fluttershy suddenly deciding to take all of her animals sounds like a Pinkie Pie impulsive decision, not Fluttershy. "Ooh, I'm not sure which one to take"...at least get the way she talks right. Big difference between "Oh" and "Ooh"...the latter being something said while squealing, and the former being something said in a much more mild-mannered way.
Positive: Well. At least you didn't kill anyone brutally. Or throw in some cheating. Or come up with baloney reasons for the two to fall in love with each other (actually we don't get their thought processes at all, which is another bad thing...but since it would have been worse if we WERE in their heads more and they loved each other out of guilt-tripping or just because the other loves them, then I have to count it as something positive). It does seem likely that you can actually pull off a good story, I did finish reading this chapter after all, so I'm going to look at your other stuff too.
While not the best story, it introduced me to appledash so it will always be one of my favorites. Short sweet and all around just a happy fic.
2104448
Thank you. Much appreciated!
To many Saids
Dude, this was the first fan fic i ever read, and i still love it, i read it back when everyone was still on Fanfiction.net, it just makes me smile, makes me think of Appledash WITHOUT the, well you know. Anyway. 7/5 mustashes.
saliva dripped onto the ground... gross
I LOVE this couple! ^_^
2073647 I can't really see any stories on your page, mate - So who are you to judge his writing style?
I got lead here by Google Images after looking up "Romantic Rainbow Dash"
I then saw the photo, so I clicked on it and saw "Fimfiction.net" at the bottom and I thought "Fuuuuuuuuck"