When Applejack and Rainbow Dash spend the day doing various activities with one another, they begin to get a weird feeling about one another. It wouldn't be until that following night until they both realize that they just may be way more than friends.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I admit Appledash is one of my favourite shippings, but the pacing does seem quite rushed with no build up to their relationship in this story.
Gather 'round, everypony. It's time for an Inky Lecture™!
The first thing I need to point out is that you have committed the Original Sin of Fic Posting. "THIS IS MY FIRST U GUYZ, LOL" is a big No-No (and also the easiest way to get Inky'd on). And after reading your writing and coming to the conclusion that you, unlike so many foals on here, are ACTUALLY capable of good writing and intelligence and not just shitting a fic onto the site, I have to relate my feelings with the following picture:
images.t-nation.com/forum_images/7/c/7c375_ORIG-goofy_son_i_am_disappoint.jpg
It pains me to see good people do stupid things, you see... which is why the committing of the Secondary Sin of Fic Posting irks me so. You do not, do not, do not post ANYTHING under 1,000 words. Never, never, never waste someone's time like that - it's like having one track of "Happy Birthday" on a cd when everyone else is making full-length albums.
Finally, the writing itself: lacking. You have potential, dude - I can see it. But more training and research is required to understand how writing properly works. I want you to haul ass off of this site and pick up some actual published novels. Observe how they begin, how things are phrased, how scenes are set. Take note of the lengths of sentences.
If you can't grab a physical novel right now or cannot quell your pony boner, then at least find some of the fics we have in the Celestia Tier - the ones that have kicked all the flanks and scored all the faves.
I know its does seem rushed...well this information hurts...but it helps too I guess
Best pair ever, but I must agree with iraqlobstah, it's pretty boring. Also, you should make the interactions and dialogue more realistic, as if you could imagine a real person saying it to another.
302371 and for YOU sir why would you even look it up if you don't like appledash?
I'm not gonna I lie. i wanna give up now
303089
Because i like to troll comments
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
Imma start off with... What's the background? There is no mention on WHY they are running? Also if they are in a race (albeit a for fun one) you would think that they would finish it! Also... I feel no sense of direction... I mean, trust me, you can write a damn good story without knowing where you go. But you still need to transition it. Smooth and steady. No one likes Lag, just derails the story. Just might wanna start off with something else... you know "As Applejack..." Uh.... howzabout wording it better... like.:
""Her breath was sharp and straining for air with each step she took. The wind kept her mane swept back as she ran ever Harder to keep ahead of her friend, whom she knew was right behind her. Feeling herself break free, Applejack risked a jab towards Rainbow Dash.
"C'mon sugar! Ya know that in order to win, you have to first catch up to me!" Applejack boomed back towards Rainbow. So confident in her stamina that she never thought twice that the pegasus pony was rapidly gaining, shouting back.""
I mean, something like that? To me, what you wrote sounds like a 13 year old kid wrote this. Even though this is just a Fanfiction... It is a story. And stories are held to a higher light than most other medias... because you have no special effects to help you out.
Please don't take my criticisms the wrong way. You have potential, that much is assured. Just keep practicing. Try writing different things... I myself can't really do the happy romantic stuff... at least, I don't think I am good at that. I know that I am good at writing really disturbing/war/sad/stories of loss. Just easier to find that emotion for me, and to transfer it to paper.
Remember. People need to connect with the characters. KEEP TRYING!!!
Honestly... It feels extremely rushed. Goes from running in the wilds to getting dinner to kissing and being in love? I am sorry buy in 1.5k words... you should really only get through the running/dinner (if that)...
You have potential. Just keep working at it.
307066
I'm not I'm done.
Well I, for one think its a good story, and dont think it needs a huge back story, its like a movie, you can have an hour of story line with no action, but we all know that most people watch for the action.long story short I think you should keep going I wish to see how it ends!
316024
You sir...are the first one EVER to say something positive....
....this is the first light of hope you gave me! Track and you just MAY see a chapter 3! 
Well no problem, and i think i will track it, keep up the good work!
It was rushed but if anyone watch the series I hate to say it but the back story is right there, but i do look forward to ch 3. To tell he truth my story is also a little rushed as well but I mainly wanted to get people to understand the world and the way my main interacts with it for the first couple of chapters
Again I look forward to ch 3 keep up the work