Applejack and Rainbow Dash have been together for a long time now; as Applejack walks through the orchard, she finds herself thinking about a certain sky blue pegasus. Her thoughts start to drift as the scenery changes.
This fan fiction was inspired by http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UUYjd2rjsE
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Eep.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash have been together for a long time now; as Applejack walks through the orchard, she finds herself thinking about a certain cyan pegasus. Her thoughts start to drift as the scenery changes.
very short, i think you added those parts repeating between texts to add extra words to the writing.
I agree, the words you added in between are just filler so you could reach the limit of 1000 words
That's not writing, that's just being lazy
word of advice, have someone proofread your story before you post it
Just saw you have dyslexia so that explains it
While it was good enough for me to wish it was longer regardless, I didn't mind the words in between lines. It seemed to alter the mood enough to earn its keep in my book. Definately not more of it though.
1245219
As i said^^ It was a short story
and it was based on the lyric from the song in the description =3
1245406
Trust me, That is not a problem
But it was a short story, It was suppose to be like this, only for the lyric from the song to have effect and make a short story in your mind
But judging from the comments i guess it didn't work
1245862
Well thank you, Seems like someone got what i was trying to do
but it seems like i have some editing to do x3
Brotip: Dash is very close to light sky blue, and not cyan at all. See.
1246089
Thank you
And it is changed^^
I personally liked the way you used the lyrics to set the mood. The only way I can think of to describe it is... like a written AMV
1262560
I though about the same^^ but how on earth are you to describe it? xD This is a Amv story? :3
i don't think that would attract many readers
"Her eyes drifted over the orchard, her though drifted to all the seeds she had planted that was now full grown apple trees. Her eyes drifted to the sky again, as thoughts of her friends were drifting around in her head."
we missed a letter there sugar cube
1335738
Thank you for pointing it out
Awesome story! Totally heartwarming
!
2446473 Thank you so much!
2446496. Love it so much
2533218
Thank you
I'm already planing a new fic after i finish Element of Loyalty