• Member Since 20th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Alphamon_Ouryuken


"I am the Aloof Hermit, the Lord of the Empty Seat. I am the Alpha and the Omega"

Comments ( 290 )

.... I'm sensing Rainbow going all vigilante on their asses and Twilight won't care.

I'm actually crying a bit.....

All it takes is one bad day...

To the guys that conspired to kill spike...

Well that escalated quickly, like Usain bolt quick..

Comment posted by RoyalBardofCanterlot deleted Oct 23rd, 2015

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:fluttercry: "What makes you any different from them?"
:rainbowdetermined2: "They have something to lose."

6560561 :fluttercry: But... but you have something else to lose to.

:rainbowdetermined2: Fluttershy... they're a bunch of pansies and cowards who didn't have the balls to do it themselves. I'm going to make them suffer.

Tartarus hath no fury like a grieving mother, especially one on the hunt for the dead-ponies that took her son away from her. :twilightangry2:

I just reread it and looked and the coverart. Midnight is coming...

...... killing a baby....... there is no way for them to do that dude. he would scream, and vomit fire simultanouesly......... and he is a fucking dragon.

6572975 ā€¦have you read the story that this was based on?

Harsh punishment Twilight, but one I have also thought of in the past.

Aaaaaaaaaand, nope. I'm out. Sorry, but Celestia would not just sit there and let Twilight execute innocent poniesā€”some of them childrenā€”in the most painful way possible. Her friends would not stand by her if she did that, especially Fluttershy. I doubt the embodiment of kindness would agree with burning women and children alive due to actions they had nothing to do with and even condemned the guilty for. And I actually have a hard time believing that Twilight would do that in the first place, no matter how angry she was.

You had me engaged at the concept of a rage and grief-driven Twilight, but now you've turned this into some edgy grimdark wankfest. Best of luck to you, as there is apparently an audience for this. Just not me. :ajsmug:

6572975
They used blades made of Orichalcum. Magic Metal. Capable of killing otherwise Immortal Alicorns. Should be more than enough to kill a Baby Dragon whose body has yet to become as powerful and durable as an adult dragons

Comment posted by Brawny Steed deleted Nov 22nd, 2017

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6573373
Hear me out here. This is a crazy theory... but what if Twilight DIDN'T Kill them? Wouldn't be too hard to fake an illusion with that thing she did. What if instead she put in the killers heads and others that this is what would happen to anyone else who came after her but they are alive, maybe being kept taken care of inside the Castle in the Everfree Forest?

6573536 Thaaaaaaaaat's gonna be pretty difficult to sell after what the readers have seen. I'm all for justice over Spike's death and high treason, but I can't even see that as a justification to execute the offenders' families.

So until the author shows otherwise on what you proposed, I'm outta here. No offense, I won't downvote or anything, but I got standards.

6573536

What 6573555 said. I'll check in next chapter, but that doesn't feel like what the story is going for. And either way, with absolutely no foreshadowing, that would be a pretty big ass-pull...

Comment posted by Elsaack deleted Nov 15th, 2015
Comment posted by Elsaack deleted Nov 15th, 2015

Seems like Twilight is out to change the world for he better or is she?
confirmed

I am amazed.... This is a twilight I could follow.:pinkiecrazy:

6573058 I think her grief has knocked a few screws loose

6576556

Granted... but Celestia, Luna, Cadance, Shining Armor, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Velvet, Night Light, Flash Sentry. All these ponies saw or know what she did, and apparently have no issue with it. The Princesses literally watched her commit premeditated, cold-blooded murder of innocent civilians, and offered nothing but token resistance. Celestia's reaction all but boiled down to, "I won't stop you from acting out of irrational emotion and executing my citizens, including women and children who have done nothing wrong, in the most painful way possible in a public forum that would all but guarantee the exact reaction the assassins were trying to incite and destabilize the country's faith in the crown... but I will be so disappointed in you!"

Luna, likewise, did nothing at all.

Her friends are shown to act as if nothing happened at all, save for some mild fear/distrust. "Oh, Twilight outright murdered innocent ponies out of sheer bloodlust? Well, I'm sure she's sorry! Now, to tend to my animal friends! La, la-la, la, la!" Sorry, but they would not just sit there and continue to be friends with her, even pretend. Fluttershy and Applejack in particular I just can't see doing anything but abandoning her, and somewhat all of them. If the claim is that Twilight is somehow intimidating them into staying around, may I remind you that FLuttershy has stared down and yelled at both a fully-grown dragon and the friggin' God of Chaos when he was about to banish a pony from reality.

Again, it's not Twilight's actions. Since the entire premise of the story appears to be basically "Twilight snaps and goes full-on tyrant mode," the actions themselves could have been acceptable. It's the reactions, or rather the lack thereof, of everyone else. Twilight may be OoC, but that isn't the problem given the plot. It's everyone else that is OoC.

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6573555

Just wait till the next chapter... everything will be explained then...

6576654

Okay. First off, please don't think that I'm picking on you, or being mean. Yeah, I was a bit snarky, but at this point, I'm just being honest.

The point I have been trying to make is that, at this point, it doesn't matter if they're alive or not. The next chapter could open with Twilight opening a trap door and showing them all alive and unharmed. The point is that everyone around Twilight sat there and watched her do this... and did nothing. It's made pretty clear that if it was a ruse, they weren't in on it. Lines like:

Rarity asked nervously, as much as she hated to admit it, being around her friend was a lot less comfortable when she willingly executed several innocent ponies for the sake of spiting the guilty ones.

and:

Celestia then looked to the bound families... as a ruler, many harsh choices had to be madeā€¦ each one more painful than the last...

make it rather obvious that they aren't aware that this was all an act. This means that, again, they watched Twilight immolate women and children guilty of no crime right before their eyes... and offer nothing but token resistance and vague hesitance at being near her. Hell, you even brought up Nightmare Moon's banishment! Think about what that was. That showed how far Celestia was willing to go to save innocent lives. She banished her own baby sister for a thousand years because she was threatening the lives of the innocent. You're telling me she wouldn't stand up to her student to save more?

Now,yeah, you could reveal that they were all in on it... but then you've lied to us. Through third-person omniscient narration, it's clear they did not know what was going on. So if you suddenly reverse on us, you only pulled off a twist because you deliberately misled us. There is a difference between an unreliable narrator and flat-out lying. An unreliable narrator is executed from third-person limited, so the thoughts and emotions of the single character color the story. Omniscient narration doesn't allow that, because you are showing all sides of the situation.

So... yeah. I'm not quitting the story because Twilight did something horrible. I'm quitting because you handed everyone else the Idiot Ball by making them act like meek idiots simply because the plot required it.

How ironic that initially the assassins wanted Twilight dead for Equestria wouldn't fallen into ruin, but because of their actions, they now cause the falling of Equestria.

Also, can someone explained how Twilight was assassinated in the original story? I still couldn't figure how it happened after reading it.

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She was murdered in her sleep by a group of treacherous most of them anyway royal guards. They killed her with special blades made out of orichalcum, which according to several characters is the only metal strong enough to kill an alicorn. Hope that helps.

6583376 So learning this information, I think in this alternate story that the guards were about to finish her, till Spike walked in, causing Twilight to wake up. After that, one of the guards killed Spike before he could yell for help, and seeing this, Twilight turns into Midnight Sparkle.

Wow.....more if you can....Loved it

6576429 yes...Lets us follow evil twilight to a peace full of madness!!

Could use some editing and I coulda used some more detail about the foals burning to death but this is good stuff. The Assassinverse is so tragic its surprising that this Point of Diversion wasn't explored yet.

6576429

Lol I know right. She went Game of Thrones/Old Testament on them. Put me in coach!

"Twilight, what's this all about?" Rarity asked nervously

Rarity's afraid that Twilight's gonna Adriana La Cerva her :rainbowlaugh: :duck:

What!!!! Oh boy! What does that mirror have to do with Twilights plan?

6627045 So much... oh so much... but that will remain a secret... for now.:pinkiecrazy:

Oh damn, Sunset Shimmer joining the party?! All of my "YES"!

Whelp Sunset if closer with Twilight than any other equestrian right now, so we know where her loyalty lies.

I quote: "a similar colorectal mask"...
Dude, I'm sorry, because I really want to like this. Your style is nice, formatting ok, but... There's a lot of small errors like that, and this one made me laugh for a full minute and totally killed the mood.
Please find an editor, there isn't even that much work to do. I'd have suggested myself, but I really don't have time these days, sorry...

6577753 Would you kindly read chapter three and see if you can still repeat that statement?

And just so you know, I didn't hand the characters the "idiot ball", nor am I pulling this reveal out of nowhere. I ran the entire premise and plotline by Rated Ponystar himself before writing it out. Sometime the narrative needs to lie to make the scenario more believable... remember how you thought Snape was the villain in Harry Potter?

Comment posted by The Great Derpsby deleted Nov 13th, 2015
Comment posted by The Great Derpsby deleted Nov 13th, 2015

Hoh? What did I write that was so objectionable as to delete it?

Don't tell me it was just because I'm not rooting for Twilight here..?

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