• Member Since 20th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Alphamon_Ouryuken


"I am the Aloof Hermit, the Lord of the Empty Seat. I am the Alpha and the Omega"

Comments ( 19 )

Oooh this is a clopfic I can read.:rainbowkiss:

3585389

Small spoiler: I'm planning on a small sequel chapter between Eris and Spike...

I could like it, but there's some major errors in the work. for example,
-the use of "friend's". It's just friends. no apostrophe.
-watch the use of to, too. "I saw Dashie there too!" "Spike, take that to the post office"
-"arousle" should be arousal.
There's a few more small capitalization and spelling errors
Maybe run this by an editor or a friend, work out the kinks, it could be something good with a bit of work.:pinkiesmile:

what did the white light do? I really do not understand what the X did.

Comment posted by LanceOmikron deleted Dec 15th, 2013

3587338 Follow the link when Eris says "you have my word as a goddess" basically after she hypnotized Dusk, he fell asleep while still under her power so that qualified as her breaking her word.

3591065 I know that but I wanted to know what breaking her word did? I know she broke her word but what happened to her?

Edit: is the story supposed to be marked as Incomplete?

3587338
I'm wondering what exactly happened as well . . . :rainbowhuh:

3591065
What did the X do, shoot her a few feet in the air? What did it do besides burst in a white light?

3597675 It basically reversed the spell she put on him.

3630218
Ah, I see.:facehoof: I should've known that. :twilightblush:

3597675
It's based on the animated Sinbad movie, Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas. In it the goddess Eris crossed her heart and made a promise as a goddess which "bound her to her word for all eternity". Same thing here. The X was a spell that bound Eris to her word that she wouldn't do anything to make him close his eyes. In the end when she broke her word the terms of the challenge were rendered null and void and so was her spell on Dusk.

...that's something I've never seen before: a Checkov's Gun in a hypno-clopfic.

It was a mess of bad grammar and is in desperate need of some good editing.

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