This is very, very cute. Dash drawing strength from Fluttershy is lovely. The bit about bullies leaving you alone and her conclusion does really seem to mesh with her canon, take everything head on approach.

But GOD she must have been disappointed in 'Shy after Iron Will showed up D:

a pretty sweet story

think I might need some insulin after all

Just for onnnneeee daaayyyyyyyy.

that song.

EDIT: Just read it. Very cute story. Actually, super cute. Paired with some good piano music and this was one of the best and cutest stories I have ever read. Aghhhh I need a bigger vocab to describe exactly how I feel about this story. Damn.... someone, quick! Tell me some words that are in relation to 'heartwarming', 'cute', and 'amazing'.

d'awww; i loved this story very much

Awesome story!

I have to confess I spent half of this going "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

I think it's an ingrained response to all Donny's Boy stories, haha.

I enjoyed this, for having written a short one shot dealing with bullying and themes included myself, I always love to see authors whom I love exploring it. This was completely adorable!

licked her nose? SHIPPING filley flutterdash

Nice story; probably the best take I've ever seen on how Rainbow and Fluttershy met and became friends. Had to love Rainbow's "I'm a superhero, so obviously you must be my sidekick" line of thinking.

Also have to agree with Mystic that it was hard not to be a touch tempted to see the fic turn shippy, even if everyone knows that RainbowPie is the best ship..

That was cute. Seemed a bit borderline shippy to me, but that's probably because I've likely been corrupted from reading too many shipping stories. If I was unaware of what shipping was, I'm sure those slightly shippy scenes would seem as fully innocent as they are meant to be.

Filly Flutterdash friendshipping is about as good as it gets. This fic was full of adorable.

I have the dumbest grin plastered on my face

I deeply loved this. It made me think back to last year when I got bullied, but no one helped me. I always loved the idea that Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash became friends because they helped eachother during tough times.

Get all the cavities!

I love filly Dash and Fluttershy. Not too keen on the orphanage part, though. But this was cute. They're just so perfect together.

No probs here.

The borderline shipping was a little awkward, yet overall this was pretty cute. Good prose and a good premise. Nice work.

I don't read a lot of fanfiction but when I do, I always seem to sort of stumble on little works of magic like this. This was really really amazing. Take a thumbs-up and a place in my favorites. This was just amazing.

If this doesn't make the featured box I will be sad and disappointed because this story deserves it. It truly does. Good work.

Awww! This was so sweet! Not only am I a FlutterDash shipper (hee...), but I also still enjoy stories with them as best friends, especially during their filly days! And this just delivered. I loved the friendship between them, and how Rainbow Dash just seemed to draw a warm strength from Fluttershy. It's really sweet, and it shows how much they both really do need each other.

It's great to see stories about them as fillies, to showcase their friendship and how far back they go. It's wonderful!

Oh Donny's Boy, you are a champion of all things flighted and adorable.

Filly Flutterdash Friendshipping just isn't done often enough.

The other big thing here for me is the orphanage. This has been a pet theory of mine for as long as I've been watching the show. It's nice to see I'm not the only one who thinks this might be the case.

This is just too cute. Thank you.

I really can't decide how I feel about the orphanage... but I love the tenderness between Rainbow and Fluttershy. In my personal canon, the two of them have a romantic friendship -- a very close, loving friendship, but still a friendship rather than actually being a couple as such. And this story fits so well with that.

...Damn it. Only you, Donny's Boy. My headcanon is that Dash's best friend is Pinkie, but now you're making me have second thoughts! Can ponies have more than one best friend? If they can, then the ponies aren't really their best friend, but their 'equally-as-good-as-my-other-good-friend(s)'? I digress. I used to not really see the friendship between these two(Dragonshy had Dash as kinda a meanypants to Flutters and soured my opinion of their friendship for a while), but then Hurricane Fluttershy fixed it up and these two should be really close. This does feel like how their friendship naturally developed, better than assuming their first meeting was the Cutie Mark Chronicles.

In particular, I loved the beginning, the reversal of roles. Dash being afraid to act or speak out, being meek and afraid, then Fluttershy being the hero. And I love that seeing the pony who had helped her being attacked awakened her courage. She is the Element of Loyalty after all, and the biggest moments, the biggest changes of her life happen because of that loyalty. She rejected the Shadowbolts and gained six friends who would change her life for the better. Her first Rainboom was defending Fluttershy's honor, and the second was saving Rarity's life, forgetting about the glory. And the catalyst of all those events, the moment that would have a domino effect leading to the day they got their Cutie Marks to the Summer Sun Festival, was loyalty to the pony who stood up for her. Love it.

I loved it just for that moment when I realized that the filly getting kicked around at the beginning was Rainbow for a change. Beautiful story.

Oh I loved every sweet second of this. I was actually thinking about doing a story with these two in their filly days and then I happened upon this and it totally made me want to write my own more. Instantly added to my favorites, and the first story in there since I'm a newbie. Anyway, Loved it! Wonderful job.

Awwwwwwwwww!!!

That's all I gotta say! I definitely enjoyed it

Too tired to do any major critical review.

SO.MUCH.D'AWWWWWW... haha I really enjoyed this story. The borderline shipping others have mentioned, ti didn't bother me much; it was noticed, but considering I was picturing them as being young fillies like your portrayed them, it seemed fine. As far as the orphanage goes, I found that kind of odd, but I can see where you might draw that from.

I give this 5 flutteryays out of 5

I don't always read non-shipping fics with Fluttershy and Dash

but when i do i secretly wish fir them to ship throughout the whole thing.

Nicely done once again, I detected just a little something more than friendshipping here. Something that might develop later. I smell sequel.

Rainbow Dash claims that, with Fluttershy at her side, they could take on Nightmare Moon.

Years later, Nightmare Moon shows up.

Fluttershy is still at Rainbow Dash's side.

They beat Nightmare Moon.

I came for the David Bowie-referencing title, I stayed for that sweet-as-hell story.

Yay! I can't tell you how much I was looking forward to this. I've been trying to figure out what you'd do with it since you told me you were writing it. I was expecting it to be awesome, because all your stuff is awesome, but this is wonderful beyond even what I thought it would be.

Your take on filly Rainbow Dash is the single most adorable thing I have ever read, without any question or doubt. The very start of this story is both powerful and heartbroken, and it feels so right - Dash not fighting for herself, just accepting it because as she sees it she has no reason to fight and can't win. It's devastating, And to see that change when she suddenly has just one person who cares about her, one person she can protect is just beautiful - I don't even have words for how much awesome was condensed into that, and how happy it made me, well at the same time being a gut punch because it took that to make her really care. And I think her own words are the best I have for describing her: She's a tiny little superhero, and nopony in their right mind is going to stand in her way.

I adore this idea - she's so...I don't even know the word. Childish? Excitable? Hyperactive and ridiculous, well at the same time feeling very real and very, very Dash - reading this I have no doubt this is exactly how she was back then. And she never let go of that one thing, that one spark she had - it's the center of her life and always has been. I love everything about this story, DB, but let it be said that you've completely redefined how I view little Dash and I thank you for it. I think, despite everything, my favourite moment in this story was that flash of insecure terror when she thought Shy didn't like her.

And 'Shy...I love 'Shy here. She's amazing on so many levels - but it's her "I feel safe with you" to Dash that broke my heart. I was actually sitting here for a moment just staring at it trying to figure out what to say. What it meant. It's so simple, and yet she says, and you just know that she's never felt safe like that before. Or at least, not for a very long time. It colours the rest of their interactions beautifully - I love the pure joy Shy takes from just being around Dash, like she's on top of the world. It's just...this is one of the most beautiful and wonderful things i've ever read. I love everything about Shy in it, and I think you did a better job than I did by a lot.

And it's funny, too. The foreshadowing with Nightmare Moon was just perfect - and it makes me feel good, to know she's right.

I can honestly say I never expected the orphanage. I'd never even considered that possibility, but it really does make sense. And suddenly, where the story was heartbreaking before it's now so much more so. It was a huge twist, to me - i'm not sure it was for everyone, but it completely threw me for a loop. And I think it may just be my new headcanon.

If this comment was a bit disoriented, i'm sorry. I'm absolutely exhausted - so let me reiterate that this is one of the best stories I have ever read. You could never write anything I didn't love, but you've absolutely blown me away with this. Thank you.

And thank you, also, for the compliment. I'm glad you like my Shy as much as you do. And you're awesome, too.

Helloooooo. Thanks for all the reviews and the kind words, y'all. The orphanage thing came up a few times as something folks didn't like or weren't sure about, so if anyone wouldn't mind elaborating, I'd be interested to hear further thoughts on that. (Too cliche? Doesn't fit what we know in canon? Not enough background info? Something else entirely?)

It is fascinating to me that this story is coming across as shippy as it apparently is, because that wasn't intentional on my part. (I'm totally fine with it being read as borderline shippy or proto-romance, by the way.) I figured the nose lick might raise an eyebrow or two, but the rest of it wouldn't. I'd had in mind that Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were just laying all over one another the way that puppies do.

>>612719612719

Good to hear it seemed to mesh well with canon! I tried to balance doing something a bit different with keeping everyone in character.

>>612879612879

HA! It is probably my own darn fault, training everyone to expect make-outs in my stories.

>>613105613105

I'm glad you liked it! And I'm sorry no one helped you. Been there, been there, been there.

>>613441613441

Oh, thanks so much for the kind words. "Warm strength" is exactly what I was going for, so I'm happy to hear it seemed to come across.

>>613534613534

The orphanage part isn't necessarily my head canon, but it struck me as an interesting possibility, given that we haven't seen any indication of family for either Rainbow or Fluttershy (whereas we have with Rarity, Twilight, Pinkie, and AJ).

>>613556613556

My head canon for Rainbow and Fluttershy is that their relationship doesn't even fit any definitions, really. They're just ... bonded ... to one another. They love one another. Whether it's friend love or family love or romantic love almost seems secondary. They just ... love.

>>613569613569

I always figured that Fluttershy exists in her own, separate category for Rainbow Dash. Like, maybe Pinkie is Dash's best friend, whereas Fluttershy is ... Fluttershy. (And yeah, it's "Hurricane Fluttershy" that cemented this opinion for me, though really all of Season 2 has been a lovely exploration of Rainbow and Fluttershy's relationship with one another.)

I'm glad you liked the reversal! I kinda figured that, for a character like Dash, who is undeniably heroic and undeniably a fighter, maybe she needs someone to be heroic and to fight for.

>>614066614066

Aww, I'm honored to be the first! And yes, by all means, write more filly Fluttershy and filly Rainbow Dash! Never enough.

>>614565614565

>>615480615480

Yay! I'm so, so glad you like it, since I wrote it for you and all. I just loved the idea of Fluttershy being the spark for Dash (and, to a lesser extent, vice versa), because Season 2 has convinced me that these two characters have a very special, very deep bond. And I'm so pleased to hear you think I did all right with Fluttershy, 'cause I really do think you've written the best 'Shy I've ever read.

(Also, glad to hear that the Nightmare Moon stuff didn't come across as too heavy-handed or forced. I was a touch worried that it would.)

>>616006616006

Oooooh, I like that! I also just like the loving relationship. Now all we need is the obligatory Pinkie angst fic where Pinkie's jealous that she'll never be that close to Dash.

Donny's, did you read ever read Wingmares? Just curious.

>>616006616006

What a great comment that was to read! I think you've actually expressed my feelings about Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash's closeness better than I did myself. It's one of my favourite aspects of the show itself so far, the way that this has been developed and refined. "May the Best Pet Win!" had two little moments that struck me: the nose-beep Fluttershy gives Rainbow during the song (would Rainbow allow anypony else to do something that cute to her in public? I doubt it) and the way Fluttershy uncharacteristically barges Twilight out of the way in order to look for Dash through the binoculars.

And, as you also mentioned, there's "Hurricane Fluttershy". That's my absolute favourite episode (even ahead of the finale) and this is exactly why. Late on in that episode, when Fluttershy finally joins the tornado, there's a shot of Rainbow at the point she realises that Fluttershy is there. It's only on screen for about two seconds, but the expression of utter and complete joy on Rainbow's face at that moment is something I find unbelievably moving. That episode makes me cry several times -- but that time it's tears of happiness.

Can I just spend a few minutes huggling these two? I promise I'll give them right back, as soon as I collect all my feels back from the heart attack of great.

Seriously, I loved this story. Very well written and sweet on top of it. If I could hit the thumbs up button twice I'd do that and wish I could hit it a third time.

That was so cute!!!!

I just might be forced to adopt this into my head canon as to how Fluttershy and Dashie first met. Or at least something along these lines...you got me good with that twist of Dashie being the one getting kicked at first. I was convinced it was Fluttershy right up until the twist reveal.

There were a few minor slips here and there with the prose, I felt, but on the whole this is solid and beautiful. Don't forget to submit this to EQD. It should be up there for all to see.

Well, if that ain't just about the cutest thing Ah've read all month, sugarcube.

Now I have David Bowie stuck in my head. I'm okay with this.

Oh, my...

You certainly did a wonderful piece, author - your prose is great, both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are in-character...

I don't know what to say, so I'm just going to congratulate you.

Thanks to everyone who's left a review since the last time I responded! I always like reading everyone's thoughts on my stories.

>>616201616201

Yes, and I completely adore it. Pretty sure it's in my favorites, though I think I've sadly neglected to leave a review for it.

>>616291616291

I loved that moment in "Hurricane Fluttershy," too. I'd totally missed the nose-beep in "May the Best Pet Win," though--that's adorable and, yes, says a lot about the Dash/'Shy relationship.

>>616463616463

Oooh, head canon adoption? That's a high compliment if ever there was one. Glad you liked the twist with Dash. I might submit to EqD--I only submit the stuff that I consider my best, and I like to get some distance from a new story before making that call. Thanks for thinking it's worthy of submission, though.

Not being as familiar with Bowie as you are my mind went someplace else with this title at first.

it's a funny coincidence that I mentioned you reminding me of these guys once before:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNrNcwWX6xg

Although, given that they write rock opera tragedies based on megaman, it might not be your cup of tea.  I used an AMV because there's no official video for that song.

Excellent story, glad I got around to reading it.

Great story! Love how you don't go into Dash's past but leave enough hints to give a good picture of it and, more importantly, how it affected her.

I liked it well enough but I think it could do with some more substance, it just seemed to short, other than that cool story bro, and you may have a .

>>623126623126Imagine my surprise when I see a fic regarding how Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash met at flight camp come up on the front page. Imagine my further surprise when the cover image is an oddly familiar one with four pegasus foals confronting each other in Cloudsdale. I stuck it in my read later tab, unsure of what to expect.

Reading this story was... an experience. And I'm glad I got around to it. I do have reservations concerning the order in which events happened in this fic, as well as how you addressed those events themselves, but something I do like is that you managed to get our two favorite pegasi acquainted with each other in less than 4,000 words. I took like... 20,000, and people are going to read the more precise version every time. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash would also make a kickass superhero duo, too, and I could at least see Dash dragging Fluttershy all around Cloudsdale to go crusading against evil and whatnot.

If you want to hear my thoughts on how you could refine this piece, I'd be happy to lend them to you! Origin stories are always nifty, and I enjoy seeing how other people go about interpreting them.

Well, Kits is a dick for linking me this, because Fluttershy and Dash so much as speaking to one another pretty much makes me lock up - in a dangerously good way. But hey. I survived!

I really liked it. Shy's feelings and reactions towards Dash were spot on, for me, and I can respect the orphanage decision in a short piece like this; it works. Dash's thoughts on Shy were the point here though. As you say, and as you write - her needing something (or somepony) to fight for. The very moment where she turns, basically; a momentuous yet tiny event. You handled that very well, even if I am not completely sure I can get into Dash's feelings for 'Shy in the second half of the fic.

I could go back and try to pinpoint what it is that I'm not 100% sold on, but fact is, it's not critique - it's just me being so out of my element that I struggle to understand how these fics work at times. I have never ever been able to write something that's both short and purposeful, yet you do just that. Hat's off, and all my envy.

>>623359623359

Ha, that is funny. Thanks for the link!

>>629418629418

>>636119636119

>>637578637578

Thanks for the feedback, y'all! Much obliged.

>>638147638147

I just went to the MLP wiki and grabbed the photo I found of the filly pegasi. It's what I do with almost all my stories--grab a wiki screen-shot that seems vaguely applicable--because I don't have the artistic skills to make my own cover images. I'm sorry that it was uncomfortably familiar to your own cover image. Would you like me to change it?

Also, thanks for the head's up re: the lack of favoriting--that's been remedied. (Whoops.)

Agreed very much re: origins stories. I enjoy them quite a bit, myself, and I consider "Wingmares" to be pretty much my head canon for how little Dash and little Fluttershy met and became friends.

If you have the time and inclination to elaborate on what could be refined, I'd definitely be interested in hearing your thoughts. I'm always interested in knowing what did and didn't work in a story.

>>638201638201

As always, thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts! I possibly could have expanded the middle portion to link the beginning and ending of the story better and provide for a smoother transition--sorry it didn't quite work.

Funny you mention being envious. Stories of 2k to 7k words are my own element, and I'm envious of people who can write grand, sweeping epics--such as Within and Without, to name one such story just off the top of my head. Which means I should probably try to write more longer stories, stretch the old writer muscles and whatnot.

>>638317638317>I'm sorry that it was uncomfortably familiar to your own co--

Save it, brother. I don't own Flutterdash, FiM, or anything like that XD I'm perfectly fine with your cover image as it is -- as if my feelings should have any leverage over how you present your own writing! Heck, it's probably the reason I even noticed this story in the first place.

And -- Wingmares is your headcanon? Consider me honored. I really am :D That said, have some feedback.

I wasn't a fan of the physical violence at the beginning of the piece. We all like Friendship is Magic 'cause it dared to depart from cynicism and bloodshed, so to find such in an otherwise show-toned story introduced a little dissonance in my head. I think it'd be all right for the bullies to push Dash and Fluttershy around, that kind of thing, but in this particular genre, questioning the need for outright fisticuffs is something I'd always recommend.

The overall structure was a bit strange, too -- Fluttershy rushes in to save Dash, which I thought was a lovely role reversal. And then come two sections where the two are already friends and are just hanging out together. This leaves something of an awkwardly long tail to your story. The content of the scenes themselves were fine -- I can buy that Fluttershy and Dash grew up without parents, for instance. But the point of the story had concluded long before that scene. In particular, I would've liked Fluttershy to have more reason to throw herself between the bullies and Rainbow Dash beyond "I just want to protect her." Did something happen to her in the past that caused her to take action now?

I think there was a bit in the second section where Fluttershy licks dried blood off of Dash's muzzle? Where'd that blood come from? Unless I missed something, they were just hanging out and the worst that happened was that Rainbow pinned Fluttershy a couple of times for superhero practice. It seems like it was a holdover from the first section, honestly, and that you just overlooked it. On a related note, I'm not sure about what to think about Fluttershy just cleaning Rainbow Dash by what I assume is licking her all over -- as a filly, no less -- that's pretty intimate. Though I'm hardly one to talk, with writing what Kits calls the "hottest softcore scene ever" and I call a wing massage 8P

Finally, I think there's a story in the "adventures" you glossed over at the beginning of the second paragraph. Make Cloudsdale yours. To inflate my head here, I have Skyhead Falls, Cloudy has The Top. Consider having your Flutterdash stake out a place in Cloudsdale all for themselves.

Hope that helps, and that you feel it's all fair.

>>638389638389

Definitely all fair.

Probably right re: clash between tone of the show and overall tone of this story with the opening scene. I think I'm rather too in love with writing about blood, is the problem (which is weird, and no, I don't know why I am). It's like catnip to me, but restraint is always advisable.

Agree re: joining of the beginning and end (I think an expanded middle section might've addressed that issue) and a bit more explanation/backstory for Fluttershy's motivation. I think the story leaned towards Rainbow getting backstory, though it was supposed to be about both of them.

The blood was from the initial fight, and I'd had the idea that it was simply still there. Though, really, all the tumbling and tussling throughout the afternoon probably resulted in most of the blood getting wiped away. Funny thing about Fluttershy cleaning up Dash--I'd had in mind something akin to a dog cleaning her puppies, something affectionate and tender but non-sexual.

I'm amused by kits' description of the massage scene, by the way. I personally like that scene quite a bit because it reads so ambiguous to me--it COULD just be a purely platonic massage, but it also seems as though it COULD be something more sensual. Mostly, I just liked that Rainbow displayed such trust to let Fluttershy touch and manipulate her beloved wings. Thought that was a nice thing to include in the story.

Anyway, getting back on track ... thanks very much for the critique and suggestions. I really appreciate it.